You are an Individual
 

PM_Mama00,

I disagree with you very strongly. From the moment we become members of our organizations everything we say and everything we do represents our organization. It does not mean that everyone in our org agrees with our statements or our behavior, but to the outside world (who only may know one ABC or one XYZ), the one member's actions represents the actions of all others.

This notion is particularly importnat in cyber-space, where women who are PNM's only opinions and knowledge of our organizations may be based upon what they read in our postings on GC.

I don't mean to start a war here, I just feel fairly strong about this subject.

Laura

I agree with what PM_Mama is saying, to an extent. Of course it would be silly for someone to hate all Gamma Phis, for example, if one Gamma Phi said something on greekchat that she didn't like. And of course not all members of an organization have the same opinions.

However, I agree with Laura on this. I think that, especially when our names or signatures reflect our membership or we are known to be a member of an organization, what we say and do reflects on that organization, whether we want it to or not.

Of course, we are all individuals, but we are also members of organizations that are bigger than ourselves and that we represent in everything we do.

Re: You are an Individual
 

Ha! It is so funny what some minute changes can do!

I agree with my Syracuse Triad sisters.

I believe that everything that I write on GreekChat reflects--however indirectly--on Alpha Gamma Delta. So I always try my hardest to be respectful and polite. I expect the same behavior from my sisters.

When I do get the urge to be controversial (pretty rarely, I hope), I leave my signature off. That may be a *very small* gesture to propriety--regular GCers know exactly what GLO I belong to--but at least it makes *me* feel a little better. :)

I have to agree with Laura on this one as well.

This is something that was stressed to me during my pledge period, and it mentioned in our ceremonies. Simply, the way in which one member carries themselves can cause discredit to anyone else who worthily wears the pin or letters of your organization.

One of the consequences of joining an organization that is bigger than yourself is that you immediatly become associated with all members past, present, and future. Is it fair to be judged by their actions and not your own? Probably not, but I think you have to agree that we, as humans, do this constantly. Keep in mind that you also benefit when people think highly of your organization. So it does work both ways.

I know this has been said before.......
The internet does not make you anonymous. This is especially true when you have your letters in your signature or your screen name and your personal webpage linked on your profile. Remember that many unregistered users look at this site and one of them may be from your organizations headquarters. The damage you do on here can definitely reflect on your organization and I can only imagine what a national board might do to prevent their image from being tarnished.

I agree wholeheartedly! :D

This isn't a black and white subject. The difference between what is PC and what is NOT PC has a lot to do with the "forum" you are addressing when you voice your opinion.
GC is a Greek forum and as such, the people here often make the association between an individual and their GLO. If your "forum" was the crowd at the bar where you were vacationing (of COURSE you would NOT be wearing your letters;) ) nobody would bat an eye, or at least they shouldn't.

Then, there's your signature- it draws attention to the group.
You will be praised for your good posts but stoned for anything that a zillion unknown "sisters" might find offesive because it's part of their name too.

I don't think I would have the same reaction for an offensive post as you do, unless there is some June Cleaver wanna be lurking and she thinks I've defiled moterhood.

I will say, if I see NUMEROUS posts by SEVERAL different members of the SAME GLO, I start to form an opinion. Is it right? NO WAY, but...it sneaks up on you.

I haven't read every-single-one of your posts, but what I have read hasn't changed my opinion of PhiMu or you as an individual. I think you have made some great posts and if you messed up on a few...well, who hasn't? I still like ya!:D

EDITED!!!! I just proved the WRONG POINT- I have assumed all along you were Phi Mu Mamma- and you are PM Mamma! UH OH!!!!
Maybe I'd better rethink my opinion!!!

EDITED AGAIN-Yes, when I see your name I DO always think Phi Mu, but the rest still stands. However, it shows the feelings of the OTHER side in a stronger light!

The problem is...there is no blanket "this is the right way to act/speak" all over the country, or within an organization.

There are some individuals on here who have brought forth points in a way that their national council or brothers/sisters would find exemplary, but have offended the living daylights out of me.

On the other side of a coin, there are individuals who have said things their org as a whole might not approve of, that I greatly respect because of their willingness to share those opinions.

I hope everyone understands what I mean.

My two cents--


I've been known in the past to post some outrageous things but I am also a firm believer in personal opinions. Some things should not be posted in the public but rather in a PM. What is done behind the scenes and no one knows about is exactly that. If no one knows about it then it can't hurt you or your GLO.

There will always be that pesty someone who is a pacifist and whenever an Alpha individual ( Such as myself) expresses himself the only way he/she knows how, that person ( sometimes known as--Vagina) finds everything done by us, offensive.

And anyone else who ALWAYS finds my posts offensive regardless of the fact that their true.

I do believe to a certain degree that what we do reflects our GLO, but the actions of one do not reflect the actions of ALL. Therefore, what we do does not always reflect our GLO. I do agree that we should not bring shame to our letters but at the same time if we were all the same then we'd be a fraternity of clones no one would have their individualality.

Now here is the tricky part.....what you do DOES reflect what kind of chapter you are/were in.........My chapter of PiKA was quite different than the new chapter at UF. You are what you hang around. If you surround yourself with studs, then eventually you will be one too. If you are surrounded by morons and geeks, well, eventually you'll start to act like one. With that said my point has been proven. Ones actions might not reflect the GLO as a whole but it does reflect your chapter and the kind of character it has. If your chapter thinks your out of line and they think you do not represent the ideals and beliefs they rep., then more than likely you will be outta there.

Keep in mind every chapter has to have people who get things crazy and people who keep things calm....there has to be a balance in every chapter.......otherwise you'll probably get kicked off of campus like so many other fraternities have.


*I had to set you lesser mortals straight*

You are an individual and can say whatever you want, but you have to realize that some people will generalize what you say and take it as a reflection of your group. Because no matter how different each person is, you all joined a values-based org. and pledged to uphold those values. So if you act out-of-line, the credibility of your orgs. pledges and the importance of your values will come into question by some.

In a sense, an org. is considered a huge extended family. And while each member of a family is an individual, if a trashy crack-whore girl from my school's little sister comes through recruitment, I'm probably going to think twice.

oddly enough, i hate the damn packers. I'm all about my Chiefs who have lost another player in a car accident.....

I am a TRUE believer in individuality. My personality and experience is not defined nor LIMITED by my affiliation. If anything it is enriched. I refuse to let others tell me who I should be because of my letters.

BUT

When you have your letters, colors or symbols in your handle quote, etc. then you need to be conscious that you are representing your organisation full time on this board.

Yes we are all individuals, but when we SAY that we represent certain ideals then we need to be aware when that is not happening, and our behavior is downright contradicting what we say we stand for.

JAM, the idea that ANYONE could think you're defiling motherhood cracks me up!

I do know what you mean about seeing several posts from different people within an organization. There isn't any organization I "hate" because of this, but there are one or two I've reached the (probably unfair) conclusion that I don't wish to get to know that org better. By the same token, though, it is silly to judge an organization by only ONE member. Goodness knows Alpha Xi Delta has made mistakes in the past as to who we pledged, and I'm sure the same is true of any organization.

However, folks are going to judge our groups whether we like them to or not ... I will be judged as a white girl, as an AXD, as an alum, as a graduate of my college ... JAM will be judged as a mother .... etc.

I think the more people you know in a group, the less likely you are to judge them by one person. I knew a lot of Theta Chis in college, for example, so even if I meet a jerky one it wouldn't tarnish my image of the org. On the other hand, there are some orgs that I've never met a member of, here or in real life. I know nothing negative about any of them. BUT if one appeared on this board and started picking on everyone else and talking about his/her job as a drug dealer ... I'm sure it would influence my opinion of XYZ. It's human nature.

When I post here, I'm representing AEPhi - all the more so because there are so few AEPhi's who post here. I'm very cognizant of that, so I try not to make nasty comments just for the sake of being nasty, or anything like that. (I wasn't so careful in my early GC days, but lately I'm trying to really watch what I say.)

At the same time, I'm also representing myself. I've posted on such topics as my favorite beer, mixed drink, my stance on abortion, etc. I hope it's clear from the tone of those posts that they're my opinions, not AEPhi's. Unlike greeklawgirl, I can't just turn my signature off... my affiliation is right there in my username.

So, I agree to some extent with PM_Mama and to some extent with Laura. Each of us represents ourselves, but each of us who chooses to make our affiliation known also represents our org. It's not one or the other - it's both.

'

Exactly. I guess I'm unclear as to what behavior would represent our organizations in a negative light. Aside from violating the terms of use laid out by John Hammel it seems to be very much a matter of interpretation and personal standards as to what is offensive.

For the record I very much agree that these boards aren't nearly as anonymous as we sometimes imagine them to be and that we all represent our organizations to whomever may be reading this.

I guess I'm just desperately wondering... Where are the lines as you see them and have I crossed them?

This is a tough one! I'm all for individuality, but since on GreekChat the only way most of us are known to each other is through our greek affiliation, I can see how our actions would reflect on our group.

For example, there are two members of a certain sorority who disagreed with my defending one of my sisters when one of them went off on something she said. They bombarded me with these obnoxious, delusional PM's to the point that I wrote one of them that I would have to contact her Nationals and tell them she was embarassing her sorority. I mean, some of the things they said to me! And their affiliation was obvious from their screennames. Now, since the only other (insert sorority name here) I had ever had much contact was my grandmother, I figured "Boy, have THEY gone downhill!" and just felt kind of disgusted toward the whole organization.

But the funny thing is I eventually had to contact the Moderator of their forum and ask her to tell them to shut their traps and the moderator was awesome! Very, very classy lady. And so were the five or six other members of the sorority who took the time to PM me and assure me that those two were NOT the norm.

I guess I made a short story long, but I think ones actions on here can definitely cause someone to form an opinion about an entire organization. Fairly, or not.

Feisty, GRRRRRRR


lol

I know who you're talking about. No, wonder she's been on her best behavior recently, too. :eek:

Blaine, you are a goofball ;)

Would you rather I had hopped a train to (edited to delete name of big, squarish state) and beat them down??? lol

I have an example. I don't know many Dekes. On the "Parents" threads under rush, dekeguy made a WONDERFUL post. I was so impressed, that the next time dekeguy posts, I'll want to check it out.

http://130.94.21.174/gcforums/showth...9&pagenumber=2

As a result, my first "notable" impression of Deke is positive.
On the OTHER HAND (UFPike-This is NOT referring to you) there is a GLO whose GC posters have behaved rather badly, IMO. Whenever I open a page and see one of the signatures I recognize, I don't even want to hear what they say. If I see a reply to something I post, I automatically ASSUME it's going to be something negative.

Nah, You done did good!!! :)

Big squarish state, LOL you crack me up!!

Here's a vice versa type question-
What if your org. decides to do something (something not too dramatic) that you personally disagree with? How do you handle that situation-do you go along with it or should you say something? I know this might seem like an obvious answer, but I know that I've been faced with this problem and most likely others have to. It can be very tough to deal with.

This DID happen-An org I was affiliated with decided they wanted to support Pro Choice and on a personal level I am Pro Life.

I QUIT!

I just felt they had no right to APPEAR to speak for all the members on a subject that did not reflect every members' opinion.

Had it been a Pro Life stance, I would have stayed, but then, it would have been promoting MY personal agenda, not someone else's AGENDA!

Where there is no perfect answer for this... All that can be said is you must follow your priorities. In JAM's example, her pro-life stance was assumedly more important than her affiliation with the organization. So she quit due to incompatabilities.

This of course is a major issue that a GLO probably would have better sense than to take a stance on.

It's not always a choice between quitting or not..

If one of my brothers said something on here that I disagreed with I'd handle it via PM or in the Sigma Nu forum as appropriate.

Good question, if I felt STRONGLY about something, I would not participate. However, I won't make a big deal out of it, I would just quietly w/draw, unless I get flack for it.

As for the boards, I have no problem w/ disagreeing w/ my brothers, and vice versa. As long as it is civil.

I think it depends what kind of stand it is. If AXD decided to change its philanthropy from children to, say, National Alliance Against Colds, I would think it's a foolish choice, but it wouldn't cause me to give up my membership. There's a reason most GLOs pick philanthropies that, while they don't excite every single member, don't offend anyone (who is against children, or the elderly, or against fighting cancer?).

AXD makes decisions often that aren't those that I (with my limited perspective as only a member) would make. Why do we colonize at X, why do we close at Y? Why do we do progam Z? But because of the inclusive nature of a sorority, I find it hard to imagine that they would take any stance that many members would find objectionable enough to quit over. If they decide make their philanthropy one of the political parties, if they decide we're only accepting members of a certain religion, members would depart en masse - but that isn't going to happen.

Voice your concerns, respectfully.

Present alternate situations, respectfully.

Let whoever you speak/communicate with know that you are constructively criticizing the idea, not the person who thought of it/is pushing for it.

Be prepared for some people to tell you you are being "disloyal" and "resistant to change" and "promoting disunity."

But at the end of the day, you will be glad you did it. Our orgs are in the business of strengthening and educating women - and strong, educated women speak their opinions, even when they are not always popular ones.

I see that this thread was over three years ago, but I came across it looking for advice on how to correct my "signature"

I think it is interesting that people write post to this thread and I see other people with new names because they don't want to represent their organization.

They want to be "ananomous alumna"

Of course you represent your sorority/fraternity/organization. You represent your family when you go out. You represent you sex. You represent any group of people with which you are involved. Don't you think what your children, represent what happens in the home? Well, likewise what your sisters do represent what happens @ chapter meeting or @ your chapter room.

I was told not to embarrass my parents or my sisters with any actions. I always took that into consideration.

NO, I wouldnt think bad of all Phi Mu's just because I disagree with you, that would be rediculous, but, if a Phi Mu were rude to me for no known reason I might not give any other Phi Mu a chance to do that too me, again. (Using phi mu because of thread starter)

interesting topic for thread though

So if one guy screwed you over, would you never date a guy again because then he'd have the chance to do the same thing?

I'm kind of surprised by what I wrote earlier in this thread, even though it was years ago.

No, I think having one man represent his entire sex concerning relationships may be too big of a group to "judge."

But, (and this is just me) If I were dating (I am married), a man from Tennessee or something and he did me wrong, I would hesitate to jump into a relationship with another man from Tennessee. I mean this theory is acceptable to a point.

Edited to add something to this.

OH AND I know drivers from Tennessee have been poorly represented in Huntsville, AL. It always amazes me that alot of the times a person pulls out infront of me or runs a red light or something they have a Tennessee Tag.

Haha, I was too. I was like, VALKYRIE WROTE THAT? And then I realized it was three years ago.

I think the majority of people start out their Greek experience wanting to represent their organizations as best as they can, and don't want to promote negative stereotypes. I used to do this all the time, to the point where when I knew I was representing my organization, I would bend over backwards to accomodate people. If I bumped into a girl while wearing my letter sweatshirt, I would apologize profusely so that she wouldn't go over to her friends and say, "That bitchy sorority girl just pushed me." I was the kind of girl who would take her letters off before walking into class late. That kind of thing.

However, there comes a point somewhere along the line where you realize that the majority of people who hate Greeks are going to hate them no matter how you act. The people who are out looking for an excuse to hate all ADPis will do it whether or not they have a good reason. There were professors who thought I was a ditz just because I wore letters to class, even when I was doing well on all the tests and volunteering good answers to questions in class. And honestly, there comes a point where you realize that to most outsiders, your behavior really DOESN'T reflect on your organization. If you make a negative impression on them, that's exactly what they expected. If you make a positive impression on them, they will say, "Oh, but you're not like the rest of them." It takes positive impressions on a massive scale in order to change any one given person's mind.

And honestly, anyone who lets one person change their opinion of an entire group is an idiot anyway.

Re: You are an Individual