Funny/potentially embarassing things you said/did when you were little
 

I guess I was a handful when I began speaking because there were a couple of instances where I really embarassed my parents!

When I first began talking, my parents were teaching me body parts. They would point to my nose and say "nose", things like that. I guess I took a particular liking to the word "butt", because when my Mom took me with her to the grocery store one day, I was pointing at peoples backsides and whispering "butt". Well this one, shall we say curvier woman walked by, and I pointed to her backside and starting screaming "BUTT" really loudly. My Mom was horrified, she thought the woman was going to kill me, so she picked me up and ran out the store.

It was around christmastime, and my parents decided to teach me the word "Santa Claus". Well, the way I said it it came out more like "cock" instead of "claus". They took me to midnight mass on christmas eve, and as it turns out, the priest looked a lot like Santa Claus. He came waslking down the aisle in his red vestements (SP?) and had a beard and everything. So I started saying "cock" loud enough for everyone around to stare!

I'm surprised my parent ever let me speak after that!
:D

I don't recall anything, but I remember going to a house of one of my aunt's students (she teaches piano), and her little 5 yr old brother went up to her mom and said:

"Mommy, I want some titty"

Turns out that at 5, she was still breast feeding him.

A relative, I won't say who, is pretty bigoted. He/she say bad things about everyone. And, when I got around those people I repeated those slurs. For example, at ethnic restaurants.

well this happened to my older sister when we were a lot younger...

when my older [biological] sister first started talking, she had trouble saying the 't' sound... instead she used an 'f' sound... and
"Mommy, Look at the big truck" would sound like "look at the big ****".. (you get the idea :p )

Well, this was pretty recent.

We had a dating seminar on campus a few years back. The speaker talked about 5 things that are essential to a relationship. They all started w/ the letter A, F, L, P, and M. He asked us to guess what each of those letters stood for, and when we came around to "P" I blurted out PUSSY! He repeated back "No P isn't for pussy, P is for passion". Everyone was rolling, except for my friends at my table, they all held their faces down and started blushing.

I don't think I ever said anything embarassing to my parents...however I do remember one morning in middle school I was awake and getting ready to hop in the shower when my youngest brother walked directly infront of me into the bathroom. He musta been sleep walking, cuz he didn't even shut the door, but as he tinkled I heard him say, "Time to let the animals out."
SO FUNNY

The same brother also came home from preschool once and said to my mother, "I'm smart emmint I?"
"Yes Andrew you are!"

Hootie

I had a tendency to eat crayons as a kid. No one's crayons were safe around me.

Up until I was about 8 I used to blow my hanabatas [aka snot/boogers] on my shirt...if it even made it on to my shirt. According to my mom, I usually used the back of my hand and wiped it on something.

When I was little [around 6 i think] I used to get jealous at the fact that my dad could walk around the house without a shirt on. So I too began walking around the house [and outside] without a shirt on. "Sandy...little girls can't go walking around without shirts on..."

all i have to say is that was hillarious

LOL...:D

This is too funny!

When I was little I used to beg my older sisters to "make me a brain" instead of a BRAID!:D

My grandma said when I was a baby, I loved any excuse to get out of my diaper. Well, one day, during the summer, she was changing my diaper on the front porch, or with the door open or something, and i got up and took off running, so i must have been a year or 2 old. anyway, i was outside, happy as could be because i didn't have a diaper on, and the pentecostal neighbor girls walked by. she said they both turned very red faced, and shielded their eyes with their hands.

hmmm, maybe that's why when i get a few beers in me i have no shame :D

so let me just start by saying that i have watched days of our lives since the day i was born, that coupled w/the fact that my mom worked for an ob/gyn i had a pretty strong grasp on uhm, the concept of where babies came from at very young age..and since i have 1 older brother, i began to put things together more logistically..so.. at about the age of 4(maybe?) i came to the scientific conclusion and felt the need to inform my mom of my deductive reasoning that she and my daddy had "had sex 2 times"

also..when i was in kindergarten we were in florida visiting my grandparents, one night we all went out to dinner and my mom told me to sing to my family the song that we had just sung for our class play..well, i had thought that i was singing pretty quietly just for the table..but when i was done..the ENTIRE RESTRAUNT CLAPPED FOR ME..guess i sang a little louder then i thought, huh? :)

I can't really remember anything too terrible I have done..but..I have 8 neices and nephews so..they have their moments..*nods*

My oldest neice used to also call Santa Clause 'Sanna Cock', I thought it was funny as heck..my sister didn't for some reason. *shrugs*
Then my boyfriends little nephew has a small speech impediment right now when it comes to 'fish', so now when you ask him what he does w/this fishing pole he proudly explains that he's going to.."I'm gonna go to the pond and go b*tching! I'm gonna get me a little b*tch and a BIG b*tch!"
And of course, my 2 nephews (only born 2 days apart) well, they are excibitionists and just love to strip down when all the family is there and prance around the house w/o a care in the world. Thankfully, they're only 16 monthes...not 16 years.. :)

True and Embarrassing Story from about 1987:

Ballerina(at age 3) to doctor: You're a boy!

Somewhat shy doctor: I sure am!

Ballerina: So you have a penis!

(dead silence from doctor and Carnation)

:eek:

Omg carnation-too funny!
I really don't remember anything I said embarrassing, although I'm sure there are quite a few. But I do remember something my cousin, who was maybe two at the time, said to me that embarrassed the heck out of me. I used to have this really big mole on my leg (which has since been removed) and my cousin came up to me, pointed at it and said..eww poop! I was soooo embarrassed after that:)

When I was little and used to tell the story of Cinderella, I'd end it with "and she got a beautiful dress, and she and the prince would go balling"

Once, in church, my dad was playing with me and pretended to bite my finger. I screamed "OW HE BIT ME!" loud enough for all to hear.

Another time in church, I was misbehaving, and someone took me by the arm to bring me outside and I screamed "YOU'RE BREAKING MY ARM!"

One of my friends used to mispronounce the word "trucK" with an "f" sound too -- lol!

When my sister was learning how to read, my parents made her read books allowed to us so she could practice. I remember her reading one about a "wagon made out of birches." She didn't know the word "birch" so she sounded it out . . . and came up with "b*tch"! So for the rest of the book she kept saying "b*tches" instead of "birches," and my parents thought it was so hilarious that they didn't correct her.

When I was little, I thought that everybody else in the world could read people's thoughts, and I was, for some reason, defective.

My sister and I had a habit of harassing all of our baby sitters. My parents are divorced and we lived with mom, so this was a very bad situation seeing that there was often need for a sitter. We used to go to opposite ends off the house and would both start simultaneously making a TON of noise, just to watch the poor frantic babysitter run back and forth between the two of us. On another occasion, one brought her boyfriend along (!) so my sister and I chased him around the house and hair-sprayed his VERY hairy legs (pretty creative for an 8 year old). My personal favorite was when we discovered if you shook soda cans, they exploded when you opened them. Thus, our favorite way to test a new sitter was wildly shaking the can for about 10 minutes before they arrived and then the mintue mom was out the door - 'Umm, {name here} could you open this?' Then stand back with innocent eyes. We actually sent one home crying.

I hope my kids aren't like me ;)

When I was about 3, my father took my mother out to dinner for her birthday. I was a fairly well-behaved 3-year-old (usually!) so they brought me along.

At the end of the meal, a few of the waiters came out with a piece of cake with a candle and sang "Happy Birthday". My dad and I joined in, the people at nearby tables applauded, you know the drill... Well, I stood up and announced "My mommy is ___ years old!!" More applause from the other restaurant guests, while my mother turned a lovely shade of crimson :o

When I was like 6 years old I moved to a new neighborhood. I was playing outside and I met these adults(it was a few adults) anyway I introduced myself and then said,"you know what?- my parents are taking a shower together--you can meet them later."
When I was little like two I was addicted to Michael Jackson. My mom said I would point at all black people even women and say Michael Jackson.

LOL, that's hilarious! That reminds me of another story. When I was 2, I was addicted to Soul Train. My parents would watch it in the living room and I would stand up and dance around in my diapers!

Bump

When I was about 2, my biological father was still around. One day, being the wonderful (sarcasm...) man that he is/was, he was going to go out on the town and leave me and my mom at home.

He went into the bathroom for a long time. I needed to use the bathroom and told him so. But, his getting ready to go out took priority over my needing to use the bathroom...

Being the assertive, charming little spunk that I am, I decided to REALLY piss him off.

So, I went into the living room where my little playhouse stood. I went inside and used the bathroom, since he would not allow the bathroom to be a viable option.

Then, right before he left, I called him in to see inside my playhouse:D and the little "mud" pie I left for him...

Biological father was NOT amused...

My mom says I rolled with laughter after getting him to crawl inside that playhouse....

My mom and I were in a drug store, and I saw athletic supporters near all the ankle and knee braces. The packages had pictures of the products on them. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what the athletic supporters were supporting. Of course, I very loudly, so Momma could hear me, asked her what athletic supporters supported. We left the store soon after that!

Couldn't pronounce my own name, so I called myself "Messy Ann Kelsey".

Allowed my parents to snap a picture of me when I was about 3 completely naked except for one of my dad's Army combat boots. He STILL threatens to bring it out and show it to anyone.

When my dad and late step-mother were getting married, I stood up as the ceremony was starting and said, apparantely fairly loudly, "That's my daddy!"

When I was four and a half and still living in Russia, I needed to have open heart surgery. After that, I needed to periodically go back to the hospital for check ups. I really hated doing that, so to bribe me into being a good girl, my mummy bought me a new dress. Lace, ruffles all over the place, the whole works. So we get into the doctor's office, and there were maybe five or six people standing there. One of the doctors comes up to me and goes in this really condescending voice "ok hunny, now we need you to take your dress off so we could listen to your heart" getting ready thinking I was going to put up a fight. Instead I said "of course I do. I don't want your old, dirty, instrument ruining my nice, new dress." All of the doctors started laughing and my mom just looked so mortified. She said "I'm sorry, she didn't really mean it," and I was like, "no I did." :p

In 1st grade, the guidence counselors at my elementary school came to our class to talk about drugs and alcohol.. being the brilliant child that I was (:p ) I told him that my mom drank and drove (he asked!!!).

Laster that night, my mom got a phone call, saying the principal and the counselors wanted to have a meeting with her. The next day she met with them, they told her that I said said in class that she drank and drove.. she was mortified!! After they asked her about it, she asked them if I had said what she drank while she was driving, of course, they said no.

My mother informed them that she only drank COFFEE while driving.

(she still hasn't let me live that one down..)

ETA: I removed the story from my best friend, I apologize for offending anyone, it was completely unintentional.

Can't remember anything that I *Said* but my mom likes to tell me about the time when I think I was about maybe 3 I decided to put popcorn.. (unpopped kernals) up my nose and in my ears (I guess I thought it was funny ? ) well... I couldn't get it out... parents had to take me to the hospital and get the popcorn out of my ears by flushing water through them...

when i was in first grade our furnace broke and they were in the process of fixing it (the company) but it was taking a long time b/c we had to get a whole new system put in.... so it was the middle of winter and we didnt' have any heat- so we had one of those old ghetto portable heaters in the bathroom (we also had a wood stove so that kept the rest of the house semi-warm) so one day my teacher asked us to write in our journals about our favorite places and i wrote "i like the bathroom because its warm in there" ! my teacher called my mom in for a conference and she had to try to explain what was going on- my teacher thought my parents were like abusing me lol

my first song was "born in the usa" b/c my moms favorite singer was bruce springsteen so when i was like 3 i would toddle around singing "born u.s.a.! born u.s.a.!"

i was playing around my moms desk while she was in the other room when i was like 1 and a half.. i managed to climb up on the rolly desk chair and climb on to the side panel that pulls out of the front part.... i was just using hta part to hold myself up- and then the chair rolled away from me- and i grabbed onto the desk and hung there- all the sudden i started saying "heeeelllppppp meeee" "heeeelllppppp meeee" they were my first words! my mom runs into the room with her best friend- and she started laughing so hard that she could barelly come over and pick me up! lol thanks a lot mom

My parents taught me the names of body parts when I was about three. For some reason, I couldn't say "belly button" - I called it a belly butt. We went to Pizza Hut one night for dinner, and I promptly stood up, pulled up my dress, and proclaimed loudly to the whole restaurant, "BELLY BUTT!" while pointing to my navel.

When I was 6, my mother brought me to Neiman Marcus with her. She was purchasing something at the register when I spotted a display case next to us. This display case had all these pretty snow globes on it. I thought it was one of those display cases that would spin around so I sat there trying to get the display to turn. My mother was busy purchasing something and didn't think that her klutzy daughter, who was right at her side, was getting into any mischief. I started tugging at the display case to get to turn. All the sudden, the display case toppled over. Beautiful snow globes shattered everywhere. Glass, water, and "snow" went all over the floor. The look on my mother's face was a mix between sheer humiliation and "I want to kill my daughter". My mom said that the sales lady and the manager just stood there with their mouth dropped on the floor. The pretentious Neiman Marcus customers clucked their tongue at my mom. I think she honestly thought about selling me to another family to pay off the price of all the broken snow globes. To this day, my mother won't tell me how she had to pay to fix my "damage".

Ok, I did forget the funniest one.

My father taught me "ding dong avon calling" when I was a child.

Well one day I stood up in church (dad did not attend in those days), lifted up my dress (yes I was a bit of an exhibitionist as a child) pressed my belly button and said a bit loudly "ding dong mommy, ding dong".

God only knows how much trouble my father got in for all the things he taught me.......:D

:( Well a nice thread until the post where pet animal was killed by being burnt alive. Maybe it was the "funny smiley" at the end which really made it for me :(.

I apologize.. it wasn't meant to offend anyone. :(

ok no problem :)

Ummm...was that #1 or #2? You know I had to ask. :eek:

ETA: Okay I must have missed the "mud pie" part. That was TRIFLING! :D

I used to have sticky fingers when I was a kid. I used to steal LIP GLOSS everywhere I went. I also used to steal pencils and pens from my classmates. I had a whole collection of them in my desk. Whenever someone accused me of stealing their pencils, I would snap it in half so no one could use it. What the hell was wrong with me? :o

When I was about four, I was sleepwalking (I just realized that I might have posted this somewhere on GC but OH WELL!) and ended up in the living room where my parents were entertaining guests. I used to sleepwalk a lot because I had some serious brain problems after a severe head trauma at the age of two.

So, I walked into the living room and my parents didn't realize I was asleep. I told them that I had to go potty and my mother said go ahead, thinking I was asking for permission. Since I was potty-trained, I obviously wasn't wearing a diaper and as I stood there, I peed all over the floor! Of course, this is all from stories told by my mother...I don't remember it at all!