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Away Messages
What are some of your favorite AWAY messages for IM?
I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself, so if I get back before I return, please ask me to wait. A friend will bail you out of jail, but a best friend will sit beside you in jail and say, "Damn, that was fun!" I'm not here right now, so cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it. Hello! This is Goldilocks. I'm busy right now eating porridge with the three bears, be back as soon as we settle which bowl of porridge is juuussst right! |
My two favorites:
"My away message can beat up your away message." "Ripping off mattress tags. BRB." |
I have a few...one of which I stole from my friend xoK85xo!
"Gym Membership...$110 Hair cut and highlights...$65 New sweater...$45 Looking great when you run into your ex...Priceless" (THANKS KATE ;)) |
I love away messages...they can tell you what I'm doing, or how I'm feeling. Here are a few of the best:
**Greek influenced away message (I stole it from a Phi Delt I know at UOP): Hey, how ya doin'? Listen, it sucks to have to be the one to tell you this, but you didn't get a bid to talk to me on IM. But you were really really close, I mean that. A lot of people came out this year, and you missed it by just a few votes. It was mainly the seniors who didn't want you. Dude it was a really tough bid meeting, and a lot of guys just didn't know you. So be sure to come out next year and rush my screen name again. Everybody wants you to. I mean, we all really like you, you just didn't get in this year. Oh, and definitly still come out and party with us. Allright? Later man. **Sleeping away messages: very tired...must sleep...can't type anymore...leave messageeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Sleep is good...so is beer...mmmmm, beer... **Crashing classes away message: Out trying to figure out who I have to bribe, blackmail, or sleep with to get into the classes I want! ERRRRR! Disclaimer: This is just a joke. I'm not actually going to bribe, blackmail, or sleep with anyone. **Fun away messages: Runnin' from the cops! Out of order! Tag, you're it! **These away messages were from my last night in the dorms...I had a lot of fun and for some reason changed my message way too many times, and saved them: ok, so i haven't really started to pack yet...and i there is a keg tonight...and i leave early tomorrow...what to do??? ok, so i drank tonight....and i still need to finish packing....i will miss sd....i don't wanna go home....why??? for the love of god WHY???? yes, i'm drinking right now...yes, i have a beer in my hand...yes, i'm breaking quite hours...no, i'm not done packing yet... ok, so we drunk, i try to pack, we all jump in pool....fun, fun, fun!!! leaving the dorms for good at 10 am...and its 4 am...we just got our first noise/alcohol |
josh8o, I liked that Greek away message!
i see you baby, shakin that ass (I was listening to the song one day and just decided to use it in my away message...I put it up often because it's cute.) studyin. "You can't lose your mind, it's yours to give away." "How can I possibly be expected to deal with school on a day like this?"-Ferris Bueller "I have not yet begun to procrastinate." |
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One of my favorites doesn't apply anymore but it was when I was doing pre-student teaching hours at a suburban school where the kids tried to act ghetto...
* Doing my pre-student teaching hours at a school Gina likes to call "Dangerous Minds"...pray for me! I also like... * I'm trying to procrastinate...and you're distracting me! * Places to see, people to do...ooops, I mean places to go, people to see. Be back later! and I have one that is like AOX81's "lost." |
One I used a lot at work was "I am the Mack Daddy of Interns"
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Here's a couple more:
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404-URL Not Found," meaning that the requested web page could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man." "A is for Academics, B is for Beer. One of those reasons is why I'm not here... O:-) Leave a message!" "I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?" Denis Leary Working on Operation Ko-Samuai ;-) Ohno-Second - That miniscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. Places to see, people to do...O:-) Today is Salmon Day...The experience of spending an entire day swimming up stream only to get screwed and die in the end. Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is %n, my ... um...friend." |
i usually quote movies, tv or music in my away messages..some of my favorites are:
"i didn't think it was possible, but this both sucks and blows" "i once got busy in a burger king bathroom" "i guess i lied to you when i told you i liked baseball, its not so much the game i like its the hats" i have some really good ones..but i can't think of them right now..but in reference to the one hootie mentioned before - haircut & highlights - $150 really cute sweater - $30 dinner at hooters - $12 looking fabulous when you run into your ex - priceless |
I honestly found some of my more humorous ones this past week
This one came after a fight with an ex: "Glad I had a pointless conversation with Mike this morning, now I'm doing my hair...something WAY more important!" This one is from a class last semester that I absolutly hated: "ABM class, what do I really need this one for? Obviously I'm not an expert on the mango and banana markets in Africa, yet "Spoon" is... Have I mentioned that I hate this fucking class?" One time my mouse on my latop died, so I had to wait and get it fixed...this was the result: "Have you ever tried to double click your own mouse? Well I can !" Hope you liked my random and twisted humor LOL |
A friend of mine currently has this one:
* Never should've unpacked |
some more interesting away messages i have saved (i save them all.... oops i have like a zillion of them):
so i walked up to the art history quiz and i :mad: and then said "you are my bitch!" and it:( in reply, and i :D in triumph!! hahahahaha:cool: another art history one: dreaming of spandrals, grissaille, transepts, brunalleschi, and giotto, not to mention alberti, ghiberti, cimabue, and that fucking poullaille guy. class, yeah... that's the ticket! "Homework I command thee, be done!!" ~ Calvin weekends: "beer..... now there's a temporary solution!" ~homer simpson |
Hello from the Community of the Insane Asylum! We are sorry to announce that the occupant of this screen name is not here right now. They are currently rocking to-and-fro in a straight jacket, in a padded room. Please leave a message and they will get back to you as soon as they have regained sanity. Which may take quite a while, but we hope that you care enough about them to wait.
How to make Holy Water: 1) Get a pot. 2) Fill it with water. 3) Put it on the stove. 4) Boil the hell out of it. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some Marijuana. Jack got high and dropped his fly and said do you wanna? Jill said yes and dropped her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot her pill and then they had a son. |
for a nap : "To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep"
when you're out getting food : "Food is an important part of a balanced diet" class time: "A friend once told me I'd actually learn more if I went to class, so I'm testing that theory..." shower: "Hey there.. it's getting all *hot* and *steamy* in here... once I get out of the shower I will get back to ya :p " |
*on a roadtrip to michigan st. FarmHouse
*on a roadtrip to your house, you'd better be there. *i'm right behind you. |
- Out and about (apartment, school, city)
- It's that time again! CS Time! - Eating....... - ARCing it up (The ARC is the gym.) - Gone for the night. - (Random Ataris lyrics) - Watching porn......don't bother me |
General: "I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message"
Food: "I'm single-handedly trying to free the world of hunger, starting with myself" Shower: "I'm wet and wearing my birthday suit ;)" |
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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Here are some of mine:
I'm off like a Prom dress I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball It's (insert time here), do you know where your beer is? I wish I was you so I could be friends with me Tweety Bird died today, he had Chirpies...a Canerial disease, and it was un-tweetable! |
i have:
if you haven't tried it yet, you should - because it's fun and fun is good! i'm dead. i decided it was easier to die than to deal with all the stupid people out there. please pay your respects and leave the dead girl alone now. i must be ignoring someone for a reason...what have you done lately? homework bites. i need a nap. |
I ususally use Jack Handey Deep Thoughts or some such nonsense. Song quotes are good. The most random two I have
are: "This isn't fog. This is just a cloud that's really low to the ground." or my favorite when i was um...influenced one day is "There comes a time in each of our lives when we must pause to ask ourselves a very basic question. Do I want a diet cherry coke?" |
I either post an away message that says exactly what I'm off doing, or else I use one of Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts....my favorite ones are "Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man." or else "A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."
And I also use "Like a fat kid in dodge ball - I'm out" One of my best friends, Sam, uses a similar one sometimes that says "Like Kiran's shirt when Shaun's around - I'm off" I didn't appreciate that so much, but it did make me smile. :D |
Most of my away messages just don't make any sense. And it's great:
"I'm a dirty, dirty wombat. Wanna see me dance?" "I'm sneaking up behind you with a garden weasel. Turn around and pray for death" "So I says to him 'Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're going to get that cat stuck in your ass, too. Why don't you knock it off?'" "Sleep...that's where I'm a Viking" "Thank you for flying Church of England cake or death!" "It takes a lot more than bears to make a cool video" "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" "Naked and wet...I'm in the shower, duh" "jumping around in a leotard and tights in the name of fun" (dance class) "enduring the only form of torture legalized in the US--I'm in pointe class" |
Too funny!
These away messages are certainly brightening my day. Let's here some more! http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/.../lachen004.gif |
One I used when I went out to the bar was from the Dixie Chicks song Sin Wagon.
"I don't know where I'm crashing but I'm arriving on a sin wagon." |
Isn't it sad when you realize that you haven't used your away message for "going to the gym" in a looooong time?
*sigh* |
Jesus Loves You. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
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My friend jered's away message:
Yeah so finals week is apon us now, and what are we doing about this? Absolulty nothing. And thats where the problem lies. This is the one last chance we all have to redeam ourselves for the piss poor efort we have put in all term and we are doing nothing. Well its time to change that, starting next week im going to bust my ass and do as much as I can. Wait that wont work, finals will be over by then. O-well, maybe next term. |
my current away message:
"welcome to miami, bienvenido a miami" :cool: (cheering on my Hawks in Miami at the Orange Bowl in just 24 days!) |
* two word guys hate DON'T and STOP , unless you put them together.
* hello. you have the right to remain silent and not type. Anything typed or said will be recorded, copy+pasted and will be used by us * A man is a leader, a leader is a ruler, and a ruler is 12 inches long. STILL think youre a man??? * I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone! * Sorry %n, I’m working right now... but next time I decide to procrastinate, Ill get back to you. * WHat's the difference between ET and a college student? ET phoned home. |
let's see...these are some examples off one's up on my list right now.. i'll post some of my own later
*This sexy siren is sleeping. *some people aim to get a 4.0, others aim for a 3.0, most just aim to come back to college next semester, I on the other hand aim to sell my books back for enough cash to get me alcohol for my week off of school!! :-D *i eat white people *If your name was sleep, I'd be doing you in my bed all night long, until the early morning's light *So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life. *You're getting sleepy...sleepy...or at least I am...Leave me alone and let me sleep... *[remind me to add something clever to this away message] ill add some of my own in a little bit, if i can remember what name i put them under |
that was quick
i found them already
*trying to navigate the waves of the monsoon of drama and trama that has hit our side of campus. ugh. *ahhh, school sucks, lets all gang together and beat it up .... who's with me?!?! *baby, i may not be dairy queen, but ill treat you right : ) *see theres this HILARIOUS thing about school..its called HOMEWORK..well i guess its not hilarious, i guess it just SUCKS.. so...unless you have someting pertinant to add to my day, DONT MESSAGE ME! :-D *if u know me, then u know where i am. so leave me a message since you know when ill probably be back *well im outtie, two fingaz like a playa y'all *smoking is bad for you. thats why thats what im not doing right now. yesh. *playing snood, how addictive is this? i highly recommend that you go download it *I didnt know running into the wall would hurt as much as it did. But here I am, laying in a pile of my own blood in a coma, hoping that my faithful penguin sends for help. Last time this happened the penguin just called me a pussy, took my shoes, and went to see "The Mask." To this day I still dont know if he liked it, and whenever I ask he just calls me a slut and throws ice cubes at me. *welcome to my room...thats where you are right now :-) anyhow, im probably buried in one of the many piles im supposed to be cleaning, so leave one and hopefully ill be able to find my way to the computer *And the waitress is practicing politics As the businessmen slowly get stoned Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness But it's better than drinkin' alone *Point your lashes down and you can picture my face- I'm smiling... Open your mouth, speak your heart and you can see my soul-- I'm waiting... Place your amrs around me and you can embrace my uncertainty-- I'm shaking... Press your lips against mine and try to catch me -- I'm falling.... woo...and I'm spent |
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Mine are normally links, like:
this (You'll most likely hate me if you go to it...but I laughed my ass off when I went) or a quote: *"If someone loves a flower, of which just one single blossom grows in all the millions and millions of stars, it is enough to make him happy just to look at the stars. He can say to himself, 'Somewhere, my flower is there.'"-The Little Prince *"Silly customer, you cannot hurt a twinkie!"-Apu from The Simpsons *"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."-Stephen Wright I used to have a bunch but then they got deleted somehow. Makes me sad:( |
skjackee....that was HORRIBLE!!!! Haha it was amusing at first but what a mess!!!!!! I HAVE to put that as an away message just so everyone can go through that! Great link...kinda. :D
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skjackee,
how do you turn it off???? i need to know, before I subject my friends.... That was hilarious though. Meredith |
skjackee, that was awesome!!! I have to put that up as an away message! But yeah, fill us in on how to turn it off...that might come in handy :D
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please, for everyone's sake, post how to stop it.
It is finals week, and if someone's working on something and their computer crashes, they're going to be PISSED! It was funny though, if i could stop it. |
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