Last Minute Advice for PNMS!
 

We've wished you all good luck on some threads and given you detailed advice on others (see justamom's thread "here they are" for the best compilation of those threads).1

Now, GCers--do you have one last bit of really important advice for the PNMs? One thing you wish you'd known or that you consider much more important than anything else you have to say?

I would advise:BE OPEN!

Nobody has a guaranteed bid to any group and we've all seen rushees go into rush confident that they'll get a bid from ABC and they don't. It's better to go in and get to know each group before you make any decisions!

Just be yourself and try to relax, we as sisters are just as nervous as you are.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Don't think of it as bigger-than-life Recruitment, where you're being judged and then invited to go to the holy land, just think of it for what it really is: going to each sorority and learning as much as you can about them and meeting a lot of girls and chatting. That's it. It's the coolest thing in the world when you look up when the bell's been rung signaling the end of the party and you realize you "forgot" you were being rushed, b/c you were having such a good conversation. It's cheesy, but I mean it: JUST HAVE FUN! Your confidence will shine through.

Smile. Relax. keep your opinions to yourself if anyone asks...bc you never know who is listening, and be ready for the time of your life.

Also, try and get some good sleep. If you need something to help to go to bed/ relax you at night, try the herbal remedy melatonin. it won't make you groggy in the morning and it doesn't have any side effects!

oh, and if you have allergies..take your allergy meds. you don't want to be remembered as the pnm with all the tissues!

If you're on a large campus with lots of walking ... wear comfortable shoes!! Don't wear the brand new shoes that will rub blisters and leave your poor feet sore and bleeding.

I was talking to a member of panhellenic at the UofArizona last weekend, and she said that the RC's always carried tons of bandaids because PNMs would wear new shoes and always get blisters.

Do NOT listen to the advice of random upperclass boys! This really messed me up my freshman year-- I was talking to a friend of mine who was in a fraternity and a junior, and when I mentioned a house I really like he remarked that they didn't really "have it together" as a house and that I should look elsewhere.... even though I knew to take it all in stride, I could always hear his words when I thought about where I wanted to be.

Your own opinions about where you belong are ALWAYS more important and more accurate than anyone else's!!!

*C*

Take some time for YOU during recruitment. Things will be so fun, exciting and busy during the week that you may forget to pamper yourself when you can. Pick up a bottle of favorite shower gel, buy some treats you can snack on in your room after parties, pick up a few magazines or a "trashy romance" paperback to indulge in and put your feet up for a few minutes. Take care of yourself and let your special YOU shine through and make sure to have fun!

Most importantly--do not skip meals (even if it's hotter than hot!) and drink lots of water.


Christin

I cannot agree more with what has already been suggested.
1. Be open to all chapters on campus.
2. Listen and trust only your own instincts and feelings about the women within a chapter.
3. Make sure you have comfortable shoes for each and every day of Rush.
4. Approach Rush with thoughts of how you might contribute to your potential sorority and to Greek life at large.

Being open minded is really the most important part of selecting the right organization. Do not pay any attention to the gossip beforehand or any tent talk during recruitment. Always ask yourself if you felt comfortable and welcomed by a certain chapter and use your instincts as your only guide.


GO GREEK and GOOD LUCK!

Be polite to everyone. The actives are inviting you into their home, whether a chapter has an actual house, a suite or a room in the student center. Even if you are drop-dead gorgeous and have lots of extracurricular activities, if you are rude, you will be cut. Even if you don't plan on going back to a particular house, mind your manners. You never know what chapters might and might not invite you back. Don't shoot yourself in the foot.

Also, when in doubt, overdress instead of underdress. You will look like you are just trying to show respect if you are dressed up a little more than the other rushees.

Ditto to all of the above. If I had to go with my top one, it would be KEEP ANOPEN MIND. I'll tell you EXACTLY why.

Last year, my daugter received several tips from some wonderful
actives and alums. Some still post, others rarely. It was one
E-mail in particular that struck a chord. It went something like this-

You may think you have a great resume'-You were National Honors Society, held an office in Key Club, executive officer of Student Council. Maybe you were captain of your soccer team or on the homecoming court, a cheerleader or dance captain. I've just described to you the majority of the girls who will be rushing with you. Sororities attract these kinds of people.

At this point "Mom's" heart dropped. I thought someone actually KNEW who she was! Over the past couple of years, a LOT of area girls have joined sororities for the WRONG reasons and sadly have quit. Others dropped out of recruitment for the WRONG reasons. They dropped because they couldn't grasp the fact that they could POSSIBLY be cut from sorority ABC XYZ QRS and on and on. They were not prepared for it so they never LOOKED beyond the "letters". To experience Greek Life is an opportunity that doesn't come around every day. Give ALL the GLOs the chance to help YOU find a home. If things DON't work out for you, please remember sometimes it's just plain bad luck. If this does happen to anyone, get out there and become involved in another organization that has a lot of activities. And remember-your shoes can NEVER be too comfortable!:)

I agree - be polite! All the active sisters are just as nervous as you will be.

Do not bad-mouth other houses on campus because believe me it will come back to you or the house you were talking about.

Keep an open mind - you may go into rush thinking about joining one specific house but as you visit the other houses you may find one that you like even more - that happened to me.

Follow your heart - don't cut a house just because your friend isn't interested in it. Go where YOU feel most comfortable. Remember you may not like some of the houses and some houses may not be interested in you. You'll know where you belong as soon as you step into the house and beginning talking with the girls.

Have fun....this isn't a life or death situation. Just be yourself and have a good time. Rush is tiring but it really is a great time - you'll not only meet potential future sisters but you'll also become friends with girls who may wind up joining a different house or not joining at all.

I totally agree with everyone.

1. Keep an open mind.
2. If things didn't work out during formal recruitment, try COB..it's less stressful!

As rush goes along, you'll start to feel you have more in common with certain groups, but don't make up your mind until you've attended all your preference parties and are ready to sign your bid card. Some girls really don't know until preference. And even after that, if you get your second or third choice, give it a try. After all, you wouldn't have gone to their preference if you didn't like them, and they wouldn't have invited you to them if they weren't crazy about you. How wonderful it is to go someplace where everybody is thrilled to have you. You might come to realize your second choice really was the place for you all along.

When your head starts spinning and your thoughts are getting jumbled together from all of the excitement, nerves, intimidation, etc, just STOP, take a very deep breath, and remember who you are and why you are there. Then smile and chat your little mouth off!:cool:

harmony wrote- (may be the best advice of all!)
When your head starts spinning and your thoughts are getting jumbled together from all of the excitement, nerves, intimidation, etc, just STOP, take a very deep breath, and remember who you are and why you are there. Then smile and chat your little mouth off!

Good stuff!:D -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------but don't forget comfortable shoes!

Don't get caught up in where other people on your floor or rush group got invited back to. This is about where you want to spend your next 4 years (and lifetime membership!) so even though its hard not to get caught up in being semi-competitive with other rushees you need to keep your invites to yourself and FOLLOW YOUR HEART!

I wish I could say something really profound. I can't, so I will say something from the heart.

This has been a most unusual week. As many know, Albertson's is the Moms' meeting place. Today I ran into one of the original mom's from last year. We talked about this upcoming rush (yes, that's the term we old folks will ALWAYS use) and discovered one true thing. Sometimes, for reasons beyond our control, things don't go as we plan. All our lives we will meet challenging situations or right in mid stream-CHANGE OUR MIND. It happens all the time. Many girls from our area have changed their minds about recruitment, about their place in Greek Life, about their MAJORS for goodness sake. I think that this is all part of individuality.

I may sound like I'm a walking contradiction, but, here goes...

There was a great little article called "Welcome to Denmark" It basically spoke of a person who had planned on traveling to a certain location. The plans were changed and the traveler was presented with a NEW destination. The point of the story was, though it would have been nice to see Paris or Germany, let's give Denmark a look and discover all the beauty there is to offer.

Life is a lot like this. We may plan our journey with great care, but some times, things happens beyond our control, with no rhyme or reason and we find our selves someplace we never expected to be. It's a different place, a place we never thought of, a place that we never considered as we made our plans and schedules.
Yet somehow, through the mist we see the beauty of the morning sun, the expanse of the open fields and the bounty of it's people. Oh my, Denmark is wonderful, exciting and challenging.
Make the most of Denmark. I hear it's a beautiful place to be.

BRING FLIP-FLOPS TO WALK IN!!!!!!! I have SCARS from all my blisters that I got walking around Williams-Brice Stadium last year. One of the girls even asked the Rho Chi, "Is THIS considered hazing?"

Does anyone have any more advice?

RFM and the expansion explosion the past 5 years have changed recruitment on many campuses, even some very traditional ones.
If you are a legacy, some chapters have 2 X quota going through recruitment so many may be released in the process. In house sisters seem to get preference these days compared to daughters and granddaughters, IMO.
So keep your minds open to every chapter and maximize your options. Being Greek is a very special privilege, no matter which letters you wear.
Many of us on Greekchat show that membership is for a lifetime, no just for your college days.

Please please - know the expectations ahead of time. Ask around or look up what will be expected of you if you become a member.
What are the expected dues?
What are the grade requirements or study hour requirements?
Are there other sisters in your major that could help you with studying or with classes?
How much time do you spend on sisterhood events or at chapter a week?
How much time (or $) can you expect to spend on your chapter's philanthropy events or on other Greek philanthropy events?

Joining a sorority is a great way to meet people yes! but we would love for you to hang around and do things too.

Plan on staying on campus every weekend at least until initiation (unless like you get the plague or your sister is getting married - maybe you need to crown the new homecoming queen?) You will MISS OUT if you go home every weekend. This is the best time to make new connections. Find yourself and make your home ON campus.

This is good advice for ALL freshmen whether you go Greek or not.