uh, sex question
 

So I'm a little embarassed.

How old were you guys when you lost your virginity? I was kinda old... I just wasn't ready yet. I've heard average is like 16. I was 21. But me and the boyfriend just broke up (as in, the first boy I ever had sex with) and now I'm worried it'll strike a "Hey, that's weird" chord with new guys.

Any thoughts?

I have nothing to say
 

:D

I'm pleading the fifth on my info :D

But, I see you decided to break up with him.....How are ya doin?

But about your question....it'll only be weird if you are with someone who doesn't care about you enough to get past your lack in sexual experiences...

Also, I know tons of guys who are looking for girls that are not so experienced.

Ivory

Re: uh, sex question
 

Why even bring it up or answer it? Most guys won't pry all that much . . .

It just seems to always come up..... I think what guys really want when they're asking is to know that my number ISN'T 4,398.

Besides.... if I get really emotionally involved with a guy, to where I want to have sex with him..... wouldn't it make sense to tell him about this part of me too?

Also . . .

5 years of steady sex is FAR from not experienced . . . damn girl you could have done everything 100 times over again in such a long period . . .

Goodness at least twice a day every day for (5 times 356 +1 leap year) . . thats a lot of practice!

Church altars, toys, and places of mysteries should have no lure for you anymore . . . you might just be bored with anyone new . . .;)



I am teasing you, but don't worry:)

Hahaha. No no. I misspoke. What I meant to say was that MOST people have sex for the first time at age 16, but I had sex for the first time at age 21.

So it's only been 6 months.

I was 18. My s/o was "ready" before I was; I wanted to wait. When I decided I was ready, I went to Victoria's Secret and got a really sexy nightgown and planned this huge surprise.

On the topic of relationship sex... it's kinda funny. If there's possibly something emotional between me and another person, I hold off on the physicality, 'cuz it means so much more when there are emotions attatched. I'll wait 'til there's a mutual declaration of emotion, intent, and commitment. But if it's a mere release of pent-up energy, then that's another story. Just make sure there's a condom handy.

I will humbly assert my right to know the (general) sexual history of anyone whom I'm going to date seriously, before we get in bed. I will reciprocate, of course, and each of us should get tested before stuff starts happening.

I know many guys in their early to mid-twenties who are VERY impressed with girls who have never had sex, or only with one person... it makes them feel that they are special if you choose them to be the first or second (even if you are their 12th... whoa hypocritical!), it shows that you are loyal and also, as I know one of my friends said, "I'd rather have a blank slate and teach her how to make me happy than have to unteach her something some other fool liked."

Re: uh, sex question
 

Ok I thought really hard about this and if you come over right now, I can boost your number. Seriously if I wore nothing I'd get you up to two, but if i wore a mustache the second time it'd be like three, and if I wore a sombrero the third time that's four. Now consider the offer.

In all seriousness, why does it matter? You want someone that wants you for who you are. Guess what, you will find someone who wants sex to be less of an animal action if you really want. It just seems to me that if you want it to be emotional and not just "sex" you will only have sex with someone you really care about and are in a committed relationship. If you don't care and just want to get some, those are the same guys you will attract.
And remember, Tom Earp is always available and UFPike looks like Eminem so I'm sure they're always options.

-Rudey

Rudey:

TRES FUNNAY!! :)

He's totally right!

Ivory

HotDamn-
I was 19 and a half before I had sex. I know a lot of people who waited. I also have seen that it's become the trend (at least among the people I hang out with) for guys to go for girls who respect themselves and know what they want, and don't do things that make them uncomfortable just to make their boyfriends happy. The guy who is right for you is not going to think that you were "weird" for staying a virgin until you were 21- he will respect you for the decision you made (trust me; Mr. wvapo and I have been a couple for almost 5 years now).

I read somewhere once that the smart girls wait until they are older to become intimate. Many of my friends were 21 or older when they first became active. You are in good company. :)

This is SO Bill Clintonish of me, but...

Question to the women...

Do you consider "having sex" to mean JUST the traditional baby making way (don't want to get graphic here), or are other sexual acts considered sex as well? The reason that I ask is because I once dated a woman who was "saving herself" until marriage, but she did most evertything else!;) And she was very good at it (and no, it wasn't Monica!). Yet she considers herself a "virgin". So, is she? :confused:

Yes she is technically .
I do think that the other acts are very intimate. As a friend of mine once said, "A man would rather marry a woman with a few sex partners than a virgin who goes down like the Titanic!" :eek:

:D LOL!!! Great choice of words!!!!-but my heart WILL go on...

I was 17...my first time wasn't that great...should have waited.

I was 20, I felt then (and still feel now) that it was absolutely the right time for me.

Rudey, that's hilarious. :-)

I just meant that it might give a guy a little bit of hesitation. Don't you think? And I don't quite know how to explain why I waited so long -- I usually just say "I wasn't ready" (which is the truth) but people always seem to think there's "more" there.

Wait, I LOVE IT!!! LOL But then again, they also say if a guy could give himself a blowjob, he'd never leave the house! :D

Fair game
 

What part do you like more: the sex or the blowjobs?

-Rudey
--Girls shouldn't say such mean things about guys!

When it comes to intimacy and number of partners, more does not always mean better.

im 19 and still a virgin :) whoop whoop

I've heard the average (for girls, at least; slightly younger for guys) is around 17, but 90 percent of the girls I know who had sex before 17 said they regret it. And it's definitely becoming more popular to "save yourself for marriage," become a "born-again virgin," etc. -- a lot of people are just starting to take sex more seriously than they have been.

If the number of guys you've had sex with does come up with another guy you're with, just tell him the truth. Tell him you have really high standards and you don't let just anybody into your pants.

But won't that make me seem..... well, for lack of a better word.... bitchy?

"oh" face
 

i was almost 18--she was 21...summer before my first semester in college...ahh, cherish the memories.

she didn't ever mind that i was (almost completely) inexperienced. and i didn't mind that she was a little more experienced. if something like the number of partners/sex you've had, complicates your relationships, then someone has other issues to tackle.

19 was the age and i lost it to a guy who had a partner for every year i have been alive. (I am almost 21.) But we were pretty serious for a year and have no regrets.

That Titanic crack was pretty hilarious. :D

I was 20 and I'm very, very glad that I waited. None of my female friends who had sex during high school think that it improved their life at all.

I'm now 27 and the number is only up to two. As far as I'm concerned, that's fine. As far as future boyfriends are concerned, it's only their business insofar as it affects their health, and for health purposes, having been with few people is a big advantage.

Ivy

Well I guess you could argue that oral sex isn't that intimate . . .

Although it might be more intimate and invasive for a guy to perform it on a gal?

But would you argue that anal sex isn't intimate? Its something that supposedly teens are doing more of to avoid chances of pregnancy and maintain their "Technical Virginity.

If you anal sex is not intimate: Why do you think that?

By the way: "Technical Virginity", I'll-do-anything-BUT-have-vaginal-intercourse, is really just the height of hypcracy and those ladies and gentlemen need to just call it a day and chill.

I can assure that a guy will be less than amused at hearing how you are a virgin but sucked off a number of guys because its not very "intimate" lol.

We would eventually leave the house. We need a little variety.

TeeHee :D
I was 18, good and legal, during my first semester @college, to the frat boy who is a frisbee to my best buds sorority. (Yeah, I made a really good choice eh?) I was previously engaged to my ex for 2 years w/no sex, and 2 weeks exactly after we called it quits for good, I lost the great V to the random frat boy. *giggles* But hey, it'll be a year here in a month, and now I'm wearing his letters. It was the best choice I had ever made in relationships! *nods* Who knew? :D

We call a person like that a "That kind of virgin" at EMU. There are a LOT of girls who will give blow jobs to a row of fraternity guys but don't think they are sluts b/c they aren't actually having sex, which I actually think is just dumb not only for the obvious reasons, but you aren't getting anything out of it-C'mon!!! As for the question at hand; I was 17 and it was with this guy who was in my little group of friends and all my other friends thought he was cute and I got him! I was so proud of myself until I found out he still had a girlfriend when he told me they broke up (oh so little we know at 17). After that I didn't have sex again until I was with my boyfriend who I was with for 4 years (he was a virgin when we got together). I think all you have to do about having little experience is just be like "listen, I wanted to be smart about it. It's not that I was too nasty to sleep with (I'm sure your adorable) or anything like that. I just wanted to wait until it felt right" I'm sure if anyone questions it, that is a sufficient answer and if someone is enough of a jerk to give you crap about it, then you don't need that kind of drama.

I wished i had waited longer than i did but anyways...i think that guys would rather have a relationship with a girl who has only had sex with one guy rather than had sex with multiple guys. I know i would rather date a guy who didn't have a long list of past sexual partners....that just screams STD's STD's STD's.

I'm a little tipsy right now so i'm sorry if i;m not makiin sense right now

Exactly. I once found out after sleeping with a man that he had almost 30 partners before me!!! (Yes, I was tested after that). But he was the worst lay possible. No technique, no nothing.

I'm a 19-year old virgin, too :cool:

Yes, we do exist!

I don't think guys will think it's wierd that you waited until you were 21 to have sex...and if they do, you don't need them!! I think it's great you waited til you were ready. I was 19 and was with my boyfriend of 2 years. We're no longer together, but I have no regrets since we were committed to each other. By waiting, it shows that you have self-respect and what guy wouldn't want a girl like that!?

You all are awesome :-) Thanks so much for the support!