Puffed up or "embellished" resumes from PNM
 

I received a resume from a PNM who had asked me to write a recommendation for her. When I received it, I noticed that she had listed several activities and honors that were just not true.

For example, captain of a team of which she was never the captain. Several other leadership positions that I know she did not hold because I was involved in these activities and she did not hold these positions.

I emailed her parent (we are acquaintances - I do not have her phone number) to tell her I had some concerns about Suzy's resume. We are on several group emails together because of shared interests and I never heard back from her.

Just wondering if this has happened to anyone else and makes me wonder how common a practice this is.

We had one of these last year. One of my alum sisters was presented with a packet (she hadn't been asked if she would write a rec letter, by the way), and called me to clarify a few resume points, since the PNM and my daughter had shared a few classes senior year. There were several embellishments on the resume, and between those, the lack of grace in requesting a letter, and their interactions when Alum had been a long-term substitute teacher for one of the girl's classes, Alum and I went back and forth for a couple of weeks over whether to ignore her request, write a non-recommendation letter, or just send the packet with a reference form and let her sink or swim. She ultimately chose to write a tepid letter of introduction to enclose with the packet. The reasoning was that the girl was doing ALL of the work on this herself (no help from mom or anyone else, although we would have been happy to help had she asked), and we were probably the only alums she approached who knew that her resume wasn't as factual as it should have been.

During that last decision-making conversation, Alum said, "For some reason, I just don't think that any of this is going to matter. I don't think she's going to end up going through recruitment. I don't know why, though..." Sure enough, the girl ended up not going away to school after all, choosing at the last minute to stay in town and attend a community college.

This is the only resume I'd ever seen in decades of rec-writing that I knew to be embellished, so if it is a common practice, it is one that has slipped by me. I write dozens of letters for girls from our neighborhood high school and am very aware of the groups, leadership hierarchies, and honors they list on their resumes. I think contacting her parent regarding the resume is exactly what I would have done, although I might have used the word "questions" in place of "concerns". Either way, I hope that you are able to resolve your issues in a positive way--keep us posted on what happens!

To my knowledge I have not received any resumes with significant embellishments. However when I do have questions about an activity, honor, or indication of leadership I do not hesitate to call the PNM to gather more information. For me though, this is genuine interest so that I may write a better rec with more information.

Instead of going through the mom, perhaps call and chat directly with the PNM. You can use my reasoning above. Because you are involved in some of the same organizations you may mention your shared connection and comment on your involvement or mutual friends. How she responds will say much about her character. Does it get her attention? Does she dig a deeper hole? Does she acknowledge the errors?

It may also be a very good life lesson for her to learn that it is never appropriate to embellish on a resume, as people can and DO find out.

Depending on how nice you are feeling you can comment on the embellishments or just play super friendly (and dumb) and then choose not to write the rec.

In 30 plus years of writing recs, I've see it twice, and only because another alumna more familiar with the girls pointed it out to me.
A lie is a lie, so I pointed it out on my rec to my chapter.
She pledged elsewhere.

We had this issue with a girl going through at Texas. At a summer meeting with our town group members going over references, the town group lead burst out laughing as one girl's resume was filled with offices she never held and in fact one organization the town group lead had chaired the year before and the girl was not even a member.
I have a feeling it happens more than we think.

I wonder if anyone has ever slithered into a sorority by false information.

I would put good money on this happening, most likely more frequently than we all think.. especially with girls from smaller cities/towns going to schools that are less competitive than an Ole Miss or Bama.. and it might be even easier if they're going to school out-of-state.

Yeah, competitive chapters and/or chapters at competitive schools really look into that stuff.

I already know what happened because it happened last year. I did not write the rec. It became a moot point after she gave the resume to another alum of my sorority who also knew that much of the resume was fabricated. She knew the family better than I and called the parents.

The parents told her the PNM was in charge of the resume and they basically trusted her to do the right thing.

My friend contacted our local Panhellenic representative and notified her of the situation. No recs from our area were sent to her school for our group.

She ended up pledging one of the top houses at a large SEC university. If I knew how to insert a frowning face, I would.

I've only encountered this once that I know of....

the "embellishment girl" was a neighbor so I pretty much knew when I saw she had put down "captain of the soccer team" and I had never seen her so much as own a ball let alone leave the house in a soccer uniform that it was a fabrication. I saw mother and daughter outside one day and went over to "clarify" things... daughter'r immediate response was "OMG mom why would you put that down I haven't played soccer since I was 10"-- uhm OOOPS not only was daughter NOT doing her own legwork but Mom was making stuff up.

Mom rationalized it by saying that daughter WAS captain of soccer team when she was 10. OKAY... I asked for a more "updated" resume. Never got one so that solved that writing problem- daughter did end up pledging a house but I will never know what resume was used.

Thankfully they moved a few months ago because lets just say it was rather "awkward" neighbor relations after the "incident"

That's just so sad to me. I know that going thru recruitment is a stressful experience but it NEVER justifies lying in any way. That is just totall wrong and against all principles. I am glad that my daughter did not go thru formal recruitment but waited a few months into school and went thru COB- I think it was so much better for her. Now that she is a member she will get to see first hand in the fall exactly what going thru recruitment would have been like but on the other side. She is a first generation greek so she too is just learning how it all works- but I can tell you its made a wonderful difference in her life and she has met so many great girls- in fact 3 of her sisters she is sharing a house with in fall. As far as embellishing a resume I would hope that those who are writing these will take the job seriously and investigate if things just don't look and seem right.

I have seen a few recruitment resumes that listed an honor or participation in an activity that, while technically true, seemed a little more grand in the listing than I knew the activity or "honor" to be. I wouldn't have known that, however, if I didn't know the PNM and the high school.

I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of recruitment resumes (and subsequently the recs based on these resumes) are at the very least embellished, especially when the alum submitting the rec does not know the PNM well (probably a far more common practice now than in the past).

For in-state PNMs attending a school where many actives who attended their high school are sprinkled among the chapters, false info on a resume might be noticed even if the alum submitting the rec was not aware.

For OOS recs, especially those written by an alum who doesn't know the PNM well, and especially when there are few actives about who know the PNM or attended her HS, who knows?

In a large recruitment where thousands of recs are managed, those in charge of membership cannot possibly vet all the details of the recruitment resumes once received.

Resume embellishment -- even inclusion of false info -- is more common than not in the workplace, so I'm not sure I would expect the less risky (by comparison) prospect of embellishing or lying on a recruitment resume to be hugely less common.

Although if sororities are checking rushees' social media, I would think things like the soccer captain would rause a red flag if there were no mentions of the team, no liking it etc.

I have seen a few recruitment resumes that listed an honor or participation in an activity that, while technically true, seemed a little more grand in the listing than I knew the activity or "honor" to be. I wouldn't have known that, however, if I didn't know the PNM and the high school.

This has happened a few times to me also. When the mention that they are sr. reps on homecoming court, that looks good but I know that at our school all sr. girls who have participated in anyway, cheerleading, pep squad, stats, are eligible for homecoming court. So usually everyone except 1 or 2 are on court. Not such a big honor when you know that.

In our local panhellenic group there have, through the years, been embellished forms received for a few women going through recruitment a second time.

Usually their second rush is at a different school than their first. At least one of the woman was dropped during her first rush due to grades.

I can only guess these young ladies embellished due to a strong enthusiasm to 'belong' in an NPC group. If memory serves, none of those women were offered NPC bids.

Wish I knew what happened to one young lady who sent us forms and rushed THREE separate times. In her first rush (down south, very competitive) she was dropped for grades; second rush was informal but she was by then a 'known entity' and not eligible for certain NPC groups with the policy "Once Cut, Always Cut"; then she transferred for her junior year where she rushed a third time.

Can you imagine how quickly a woman would be cut if it got around most schools that she made up stuff on her recruitment application? GONE.

Background: during my first semester of freshman year, I attended a large Midwestern university. I transferred to a smaller, private university in January. I went through recruitment at my current school and joined a chapter that I love.

I just got a PNM resume from one of my suitemates at the first school that is very embellished. She went through recruitment last year and completed the first two rounds, but dropped when she got three houses that she considered to be "bottom tier" for the third round, when PNMs could attend up to six parties. Throughout the semester, a girl who had a decent record in high school slacked off and skipped class enough to be put on academic probation by the university. Ironically, the sorority of which I am a member dropped her on the first day last year (many members in that chapter are from her hometown. She had the grades, but her social reputation was...fairly bad.) She badmouthed that chapter (again, I am now a happy member of that same sorority!) as well as all of the others that had dropped her during recruitment whenever someone mentioned greek life. What's more, she was a pretty disrespectful roommate - always blaming other suitemates for things, playing loud music, demanding that people get out of the shower...etc.
So, last week, I check my email, and there is a virtual "packet". She did not ask me to write a rec letter; instead, she simply emailed me her resume and other files. When I opened it, I noticed glaring errors. Her high school GPA had been notably inflated, among other smaller things.
I am now pondering what to do. Should I send in nothing, and leave her to her own devices during recruitment? Should I send in a letter of non-recommendation? If anyone has any sort of advice on this, I would truly appreciate hearing it.

Would you want this girl as a member or your chapter? That should answer your question.

Mullingal .. you might also check to see if current collegiates of your organization are allowed to write recs. Some organizations allow it and some don't.

And even if your organization does not allow collegians to write recs, I would still consider getting in touch with one of that chapter's advisors or the sister who handles recommendations. Like Just Interested said, if you wouldn't want her to be a sister and there won't be any social blowback for you not recommending this girl (and it doesn't sound like there would be), now is the time to say something. It doesn't sound like she'll make it far with this chapter anyways, but if I were in your situation I would rather be safe than sorry.

Are you going to risk your sorority giving this liar a bid? Because it COULD happen.
I hear this often from alumnae.
"Mama said never to say anything bad about anybody; I didn't want to send a 'no' rec on her, bless her heart."
Or they think if they don't send a rec, the girl won't get a bid.
Why risk it? Write a no rec. DON'T write the details. Add a Post-It note: CALL ME. Or go to a member of your recruitment team - the advisor is ideal - and privately detail to her why you would object to this girl becoming a member.
The "no" recs are more important than the yeses.

Heck -don't put a post it note on it- Write NO REC CALL ME across the top! I've only done it 2-3 times and am about to do a another 2 or 3....

As usual, GreekChat is very intuitive about these things - she got two invitations out of a possible ten for the second round and immediately dropped.

We all dodged a bullet!
Thank you for writing that rec. Or did you?

Ugh...this reminds me of a pledge sister/roommate who we still refer to as "the embellisher." She lied to us about her high school accomplishments--she said she was captain of her sports team (nope), president of her class (nope), etc. She didn't think we'd find out, but most of her her high school classmates joined the sorority next door to us and we were friendly. Then when she applied to graduate school senior year, she flat out lied on her resume. We lived with her and knew the she spent her free time either with her boyfriend or at with us; her resume said she was a concert pianist, a tutor at 2 elementary schools, and a volunteer at a local crisis center (that one was technically true as it was our philanthropy and she went once a year). We still don't know why she did this. I'm too afraid of getting caught!