Compatible? If not, I don't want to be XYZ...
 

Okay you all. I saw something and I was like, huh? So, I need you all, ALL of you to help me out.

If you are interested in a organization, you go to their stuff on campus, you know what the ORGANIZATION is about, you see what the chapter does on your campus. You then meet members of the chapter on your campus. The thing is, YOU ARE NOT "FEELING" THEM, or not "feeling" some of them (personal issue(s)). Do you allow that to determine if you want to pursue membership with that organization by way of that chapter? Isn't it about the ORGANIZATION? Can one not overlook the diversity if you will, of its members and focus on the organization?

The thing is, you are only on your campus for a few semesters, anyway. After that, you carry on with your work as a member of XYZ. Then, what if you go to another organization and you like it because you "feel" the members, but they (THE ORGANIZATION) are not doing jack you know what? Then what? Are you fulfilled?

I remember (from hearing stories from older Sorors) and kind of like in our situation, who you ended up with, those were your "people". If you didn't "feel" or were not "compatible" with someone SO WHAT...you did "feel" them, you know!

http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/.../aktion030.gif *Like Horshack for "Welcome Back, Kotter"* "Ooh! Ooh! I want to answer!

First off, this really happened to me. REALLY. The chapter on my campus was chock full of members that I was not "feeling." For real. I felt, as did others, that they didn't have the best interest of the org. (as a whole) at hand. They were all about some petty-type stuff. On the other hand, they did have programs that they were doing and they were really trying to make things happen. In the mean time, I did have the opportunity to get cool with members of another org. They were cooler than a fan! BUT, being cool was not my main focus. It was not the org. that I wanted. Besides that, they did NOTHING as far as community service, programs, etc. WTH? :confused:

I had to remind myself CONSTANTLY that, even if I hold/held a grudge against the members of the chapter of the org. that I wanted to join, the org. was MUCH bigger than them. For some reason, I don't think that THEY realized it, though. I would love to continue, but DISCRETION is KEY! ;)

Two ways to look at it
 

I see this as having two options, You can either continue to pursue the undergraduate organization and push for change if you make it in or you can wait on graduate membership. Notice that there is not an option to switch to a totally different sorority.

In this scenario, you are saying another sorority as a whole is not doing anything....while I cannnot fathom this as being true.....I'll continue with my opinion. As you grow, you begin to undersand that an organization/movement is larger than any one person. I think this is one of he main things people forget when it comes to EVERYTHING! So while you may have great fun with the 20 or so people that are there now, what about when you pursue graduate membership and those people are possibly no longer there.

You have to look at the BIG picture when making a lifetime committment to an organization. I think people are looking too much at the temporary reward/gains than can be attributed with joining XYZ and totally forgetting about the time commitment, financial commitment and the labor of love that goes into making the organization grow and prosper.

Yea,
 

It is difficult to join an organization and called folk Brother or Soror when you don't like them and when the chapter does not do anything. I know that I would have pursued another organization because my father is in a differenty org. than Alpha but the chapter of my fathers frat at my school were dumb as hell and were not leaders. There is more to life than chasing women and looking pretty:D Moving on - - - it is difficult to understand the big picture that Alpha or any other organization is more than a college chapter when you are not yet a member. Anyway, I say all chapters should represent a standard for the entire organization.

Re: Yea,
 

Professor, I feel you on that statement. All chapters SHOULD represent for the ENTIRE organization. However, there are chapters out there that would swear XYZ would shut down had they not been accepted. They also turn people off with those attitudes. At my school, there were orgs. that were openly shunned because they played into the stereotypes, etc.

On the other point, yeah, it is hard for SOME non-members to think "outside of the box" (i.e. their college chapter). But, I also think that falls on the heads of those that were just doing it for the letters, t-shirt, jacket, etc. For me, being as serious about it as I am, it's hard for me understand people who don't think of an org. as an ENTIRE entity. I can't even count the people that I know that swear to the Lord above that they would pillage and kill to be a member of an org., but the second that they get rejected, etc., kick up a one man/woman campaign about how much they HATE XYZ, not LM chapter of XYZ. Or what about those that graduate and would rue the day that they attempt grad membership.

I know that things happen and personalities clash, etc., but I also know how bad I want this to even let stuff like that affect me.

IMHO I feel that you can't let a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch. No matter what you're involved with, there are going to be people you don't totally agree with or "feel" so you have to weigh what you feel is more important...........SOME of the people or the Org as a whole.

I mean just think about it. There may be a job that is everything that you want.Money, benifits, perks, blah, blah. There's one catch......This person you can't stand is going to be working there with you. Are you going to try and create a middle ground with that person ? Or are you going to let that stand in the way of the chance of a lifetime??????????

I agree w/ Exquizit & Refined Diva. Basically, if you are looking to join an org. for the 'long-term' ideals it upholds, then you'll get over the few bad apples (of which every org. has, regardless of arena--they are everywhere...at your job, school, etc.)...and instead you would remain mature, maintain your composure, & try to improve the situation (which means you would work as hard as you could to possibly obtain membership and make changes within the chapter)...

It's not like you're going to be in college forever anyway...

Organizations as a whole are larger than any one particular chapter. Although every chapter should strive to represent their organization in the best manner there are chapters out there in every organization that aren't hitting on much. If you have XYZ in your heart and you like what XYZ stands for, having a couple of brothers or sisters that you may not mesh with should not stop you. Actually, if you desire XYZ and you feel that the chapter at your school is not what it should be then you should look forward to possibly helping them to turn things around.

Funny, this came up. I was just speaking with one of my mentees about Greek Life. I advised him to interact w/ members of ALL 5 D9 fraternities both on and off campus. If he feels that the org as a whole is something he wants to be a part of FOR LIFE, then he will make the right choice.

However, reading some of the comments in this thread, I think people overlook the importance of the chapter of initiation in relation to your Greek life. Your chapter of initiation makes you the XYZ you will be. (*ducking blows*) If your chapter grudgingly passes on right knowledge and protocol or has a history of hazing or prepledging or is just plain triflin', you will have to deal with those experiences. It takes more than one person, possibly even more than one line, to change a chapter.

Some people would rather deal with the foolishness of an undergrad/collegiate chapter than to dare submit at the alumnae/alumni level.

Not to mention, your intake process has a tremendous effect on how you view your org as a whole, whether you stay active or even if you affiliate with an alumnae chapter.

I agree with some of the stuff that mccoyred has presented, but some of it I can't really "amen" to.

When I was an undergrad there were situations which made many of my lss bitter when it seemed as if everything was beginning to "gel". Many of us graduated being bitter. However, SOME of us went on to become GM after graduation and eventually transferring into a Graduate chapter. If I would have let the feelings I had from my LATTER experience as an UG take over, I probably would not have become active with a graduate chapter or as a GM (after graduation) and would be "out there" like many of my sorors AND many of my lss.

So, I really do not think that my UG experience determined if I wanted to remain active or not. I think it was SOMETHING I HAD TO DO!

What do you (Greeks) feel about the relationship of UG experiences determining your active or nonactive status or how you view your organization?

I was told once that if it is(your yearning to be loyal and true to XYZ) in your heart who can stop you ?

Anyway,as a being you will deal with many personalities you may not like, should that hinder you from wanting to be successful and moving on with life?...NOOOOOO. IMHO, you can't change the people but you can be apart of the process that makes the changes.

With much respect....
As for experiences in UG, shouldn't it be taught to you the importance of remaining active? If not, and your views on how you feel about XYZ has changed, then where is the loyalty and who will lead the way?

Re: Re: Yea,
 

:eek: SAD but SOOOOOOOO True!;)

First impressions are lasting impressions
 

First off,

An organization is only as good as the members representing it.

Second thing,

"A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump" (I Cor 5:6)

Third thing,

If members want the best prospectives, they got to be the best members they can be.

Imagine if EVERY chapter of XYZ wasn't takin' care of business and blew it off by saying "Well, our entire organization isn't like that, just us." Since every chapter is independently being about trivial and superficial things, it destroys the credibility for the organization, basicially because "the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing"

I think that all too often, members of BGLO orgs use that line as an excuse to be irresponsible and act a fool, using yesterday's news (read: the history of the organization) as the strength for the organization while doing nothing for the org today and probably not tomorrow either.

BGLO members need to stop riding the coattails of their founders and the past and make a difference for today. OK, you're just one chapter. Why set a piss-poor example and create a bad first impression for your org when you can channel that energy into making your chapter THE BEST chapter in the org.

Again, if you want the best, you got to be the best. And you can start by getting your priorities in order.

Re: First impressions are lasting impressions
 

Frankly, I take offense to some of this, when I know there are many members doing great things for their organizations. Shucks, I know what I am doing and what I have done, (including my chapter) so I definately take offense. I know we are not riding our founder's coattails, but continuing the legacy with modifications that adapt to the current day, some 94.5 years later.

I agree, AKA2D'91.

Re: First impressions are lasting impressions
 

Okay, I just have to say that I find this post AWFULLY assumptive.

There can be a number of things that make an individual chapter a poor reflection of the organization - sometimes due to factors that cannot be helped. Oftentimes it is not that a chapter chooses not to take care of business... but how do you really know how much work a person will actually do before you bring them into your organization? The truth is, you don't. Somebody can come with credentials and qualifications out the wazoo, but turn out to be a real slacker once they get in the chapter. I personally have never heard ANYBODY go to an interest meeting and be like, "My name is Sally and I just want to let you know UP FRONT that I intend to stop doing community service and make myself a weak link in your chapter." I mean, really... some of these situations can't be helped, and you make it sound as if most chapters just bypass the business and make excuses for it. I don't know ANY chapter that makes a conscious decision to just BS around and not handle their business... but it's hard to handle business when only a few people are business-minded, you feel me?

And as for the advice as far as what BGLO members "need to" do... can't that go for ANY organization? I'm sure that no organization (BGLO or otherwise), is without its own flaws and weak links. For you to claim we are "riding the coattails" of our founders is a gross assumption and somewhat disrespectful, in my opinion.

Back up a minute...
 

I'm just going to have to be a lil' blunt about this one with no intentions to disrespect anyone or hurt they feelings.

My interest in ABC has nothing to do with making new friends... hell, I can do that my damn self. I see that being the problem with a lot of fellow interests or aspirirants as some of you call us. That's the reason some folks give for switching (which I talk about in the Why Switch Thread) when they get into a fight or altercation with a member of the organization.

Let me ask this, if all your friends jump off a cliff would you jump with them? That's what you are doing when you join an organization because you are "compatible" with the members of the chapter that happens be on your campus or in your neck of the woods. My big brother/role model on campus and in my student government organization is a DEF and despite the fact that the man was almost my twin, that DID NOT make me want to be a DEF. I respect him for what he and DEF do on campus, but DEF does not share the principles of life that I and ABC do. And that's where that ends with me.

Now that's not to say that I don't want brotherhood... that's what I'm here for. And the brotherhood I want cannot be obtained by joining such fine organizations like the Boy Scouts or 100 Black Men or what have you. The reasons you want to be an ABC (or whatever org) have to be personal, spiritual even GOD DRIVEN (at least He put them into my thought for a reason). And you are not going to get that if you join an organization because your friends are in it or because you didn't like another organization and want to fight them or because you like the organization because they step good or really active in the community.

I will close by saying that I was told by a member of ABC Fraternity that I WAS NOT going to like every member of his fraternity. I may not like some of the members of the chapter I am eligible (by school or location) to get into... and if I'm fortunate, I may not even like my potential dean, line brothers, big brother's, brothers in different chapters, other greek members etc. And I would like to add that you are not going to like all the interests/aspirants either. All this to say that everyone in ABC FRATERNITY, INC. was not the same! It's all about what you can bring to the organization and if I ever (and boy do I mean ever) the chance to be part of that organization... I plan on bringing a whole lot...


Q Mike Slim Daron
[singing]Leavin' Bad Boy For Life...

Well said, 112.

To OneOneTwo...

You mentioned in your previous post..

Now that's not to say that I don't want brotherhood... that's what I'm here for. And the brotherhood I want cannot be obtained by joining such fine organizations like the Boy Scouts or 100 Black Men or what have you. The reasons you want to be an ABC (or whatever org) have to be personal, spiritual even GOD DRIVEN (at least He put them into my thought for a reason). And you are not going to get that if you join an organization because your friends are in it or because you didn't like another organization and want to fight them or because you like the organization because they step good or really active in the community.

To say what organizations will and will not enhance the issue of "brotherhood" among black men is a baseless and unsusbstantive statement in and of itself. If one has no knowledge of the inner workings of 100 Black Men of America Inc., he should not comment on it.

Also to say that reasons for wanting to be in a fraternity are based on the personal, spiritual and god-driven is also baseless and unsubstantive. I have never met one fraternity man on my campus who even spewed a word of religion out of his mouth, as I was on numerous occasions sought out by fraternities for my qualities, having been developed on a personsal and professional level with my involvement in 100 Black Men of America Inc. and by members of an NPHC fraternity's auxiliary group.

Believe me, membership in 100 Black Men of America Inc. is on a totally different level from fraternities. We do not conduct informationals. We don't have the lawsuits and the divisions. There is no such thing as paper or real in the 100. Membership can only be acquired through what one sees in your community work and your professional life, and yes the majority of the men within the fold of membership in 100 Black Men of America Inc. hold not only a bachelor's degree, but also contain other degree extensions as well. Membership is by invitation only, which means that the concept of "many are called but few are chosen" is ruled out, because the few are already selected. The current national president is a member of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity Inc., and I would bet you 10 to 1 that he does more work with the 100 than he could ever think of doing with Omega.

Is there a degree of brotherhood in 100 Black Men of America Inc.? I would bid to say definitely, but business, in all aspects of the organization, is considered before brotherhood. Therefore, you will never see a man of the 100 disprespect a fellow member because he doesn't feel that there is a measuring stick by which to measure a fellow member with. We are men of culture, principle, and real standard, so you will never hear of any man of the 100 being a renegade, ghost, or an outcast. Fraternity men approach the 100 for membership. I say all of this to say that you shouldn't correlate our organization with Boy Scouts, we align more along with the Boule. We are EXTREMELY SELECTIVE. We have a list of famous members, but that is not the important aspect here, our work in the communities we serve speaks well enough for itself.

Off the soapbox, and I'M OUT...:cool:

As a mature woman and member of DST it would be easy to say that DST is the only choice for me, but frankly as a 17/18 year old college student, and with sorors and AKAs in my family, my exposure to both organizations made both of them very viable options for me when I was young. With all due respect to younger sorors and prospectives this mindset of being 100% devoted to one organization as a prospective is relatively new to me - my reference was to have some interest, admire from a distance, attend an interest meeting, and HOPE to be invited to a tea - it was at that point that I made up my mind based on what I saw and perhaps at a few prior campus events, had I been disenchanted with DST, I wouldn't have turned my nose on another organization and I probably wouldn't have waited for grad chapter initiation.

KNOWLEDGE 1:

I think that you miss the brother's point. He wasn't knocking 100 Black Men, he was saying that it wasn't a Brotherhood in the sense of a fraternity. As someone who was invited to membership in 100 Black Men, I fully understand the group. It consisted of many Greeks in my area, but I was too busy with frat business to join (basileus, Grad Advisor). I also must disagree on your statement about your Pres being an Omega. Whether he is doing community service in the name of his church, lodge, NAACP, or 100 Black Men, he is doing it because he IS AN OMEGA!! That will always be part of the equation.

On topic, I disagree with Prof and Rainman. When I was seeking Omega, the chapter at my school was not about business or scholarship (they were still the coolest brothers on the yard), however, that did not deter my view of Omega as a whole. I made sure that after I crossed that I would effect change in the chapter. We selected better candidates and started living up to the national mandates. Years later, I am still happy about my decision.

DoggyStyle's Right...
 

Unfortunately, the original answer that I had did not make it to the post because my computer went haywire... but DoggyStyle pretty much said what I wanted to say.

I was not attempting to disrespect 100 Black Men by any means. I was mearly stating my answers in regards to those men and women seeking membership in either one of the National Pan Hellenic Council organizations or one of the many local/independent Black Greek Letter Organizations.


Q Mike Slim Daron

One person can make a difference
 

Our chapter was on the bottom end before our summer '90 line crossed (the last Lamps). It was the Alphas running the yard at UAB with the Kappas and the Bruhs having their own fan clubs equally second (no Sigmas chapter at UAB till '95)..

Then, some highly motivated gentlemen crossed the sands in 1990 and changed the game. By the time we crossed in '93, the Bruhs were 1st in Philanthropy, 1st Socially, had the SGA President, Black Student Awareness Committee President and 5 of the Bruhs were head RA's...

The people who influence my decision the most to seek Omega were in my church (and my best friends Father). So, whether or not the Bruhs were triflin' or not up to standards with Community Service, GPA's or Party'n, I was gonna be a QUE !!!

And like someone stated before, you're immediate prophytes who bring you in are the biggest shapers of what you hold dear in your organization...

Re: Re: First impressions are lasting impressions
 

2D & Sweetest Diva, to set the record straight, regarding the "ride the coattails" remark, I was referring primarily to those chapters that weren't TCBing; if it does not apply to you or your chapter, turn a deaf ear. Nevertheless, there are chapters out there that, knowingly or not, aren't handling their business, and that is NOT assumptive at all.

However, your points still begs the question: Why should a person be "committed" to join an organization whose local members sets a bad example? For those who held off and joined later, more power to you and congratulations on your perserverance. But should others be penalized because they did not share your perspective? Just food for thought.

Sweetest Diva, in your defense, I admit that it is a two-way street; both parties, the prospective and the chapter pledged must be compatible. Yes, I know that the prospective pledges the ORGANIZATION, not the chapter. But why get off on a turbulent tumultuous start in joining an org if you don't have to?

Okay, I'm off the soapbox. Just wanted to straighten out a point on the whole riding the coattails thing.

i've always felt that the Organization is what you're joining not one chapter. I've spent more time in grad chapters than ug so it would have been unwise to base my decision on one chapter, besides in college we can all be a little "immature, stank and unproductive" at times. i respected the organization and my founders vision and i've been priviledged to make it my own.
i do see how some would not join if the chapter was not representing, it is an individual decision in the end.

/lane swerve

psst...you bumped a thread that is nine years old.

They are talking about NPHC (historically Black) organizations. It has NOTHING to do with NIC or NPC groups. The NPHC method of recruitment (actually they don't recruit) and member selection is pretty much the opposite of what you experienced.

(Once again not understanding the ****. You're too refined to spell out bullshit, but will say "sucking off d-bags" which is a heck of a lot more offensive.)

AzTheta, there is no lane swerve there. :)

Fsu2012 has a sob story and doesn't care in which thread the story is told.

:D thank you, thank you very much, DrPhil!

Didn't think about his sob story. Saw the dates on this and went "huh?"

He's pretty much crying about what he cried about in that other thread. LOL.

WE CAN'T CHANNNNNNNGE...WE CAN'T CHANNNNNNNGE.....

But, his brothers were janitors! They've gotta change! They've JUST GOT TO.

Stop before we make him come back. :eek: :)

I had forgotten all about this old thread. Interesting and funny stuff in this thread. Woohoo.