Rethinking rushing due to Orientation
 

I just went through orientation a few days ago and everything was just awesome. That is, until the time came when all who are interested are allowed to go and check out the Greek Life tables set up in the student union. It was just a big line of the sororities and their scrapbooks and such. The Greek girls seemed pretty nice for the most part, but the thing that got me was how the other PNM's were acting. They were all so fake when we were going through the line looking at the "displays" and then after we were done going through, they trashtalked other girls that might rush. They were just blatantly rude and gossiping. Ugh. I don't think i could spend one minute trying to befriend these girls, let alone consider them a possible sister. I'm just so confused as to whether i should rush or not because like 1/2 of the "PNM"s were like this. Oh the drama!

My advice to you is to go ahead and give recruitment a try...remember you don't have to pledge if you decide it's not for you by the end of the week. Don't let the PNM's behaviors make your decision for you. You have to remember that the sisters in each sorority will be watching to see if the qualities found in those PNM's are ones they want in their sisterhood. They'll be able to see that you don't want to act fake and are looking for a true bond. And just as the sisters will be able to tell what you're looking for, you'll be able to look at each sorority and decide if the greek organization represents what you're looking to call your new home. Rush is hard because it goes by so fast and yes, girls may act fake, but in the end things just work out and you end up where you're supposed to be. Hang in there and give it a try...I think you'll find some great things about what greek life has to offer!

I can understand your frustration and confusion. When I was a freshman, I went through recruitment in the fall, and it was true that some of the PNMs were not as nice as I expected them to be. What you should take into consideration is that maybe these girls are acting this way b/c they feel insecure in their new surroundings, and started "talking trash" to make themselves feel a little better. (Or maybe they are just not nice;) ).
The point is that if you feel comfortable around the greeks and wish to know what rush is like, then go for it. As far as my school is concerned, you don't have to accept a bid or join a sorority just b/c you attended a rush event.
Also, sorority can change the way someone behaves (and all for the good I can tell you). I know that I would never want someone who disrespects other people for their differences as my sister, b/c she could easily say those things about me. Just go with your gut instinct, and it won't matter if you join or not, I am sure the sisters will respect your decision either way.

You can expect these incoming freshmen to still be in a high-school mindset! I remember some of the girls I went through orientation with did the EXACT same thing and I had some of the same thoughts as you. But I kid you not, some of the WORST ones ended up dropping out of rush after the 3rd day or so. Orientation is not an accurate picture of what college/sorority life is like. Everything is still very new, and people are still testing the waters. My advice to you is to definitely go through rush anyway. Some of these girls may end up in your rho chi group... some may even end up being your pledge sisters... but I promise you they will mellow out once they've seen what college is all about. Sorority life is not superficial at all. As cliched as it sounds... chances are these girls are acting like this because they are uncertain of themselves and want to fit a stereotype. I saw it last year, I know! Once you actually get there and see how things REALLY are... you will not regret it. Don't miss out on the best part of college because of a few bad apples!

Amen to everything posted above!

Some of those snotty girls will be cut from rush really fast--I know, I rushed at UAF! Or if they get cut from the few they want, they'll drop.

Also, the comments on freshmen talking trash because of insecurity are too true. When you look back on your freshman self in a few years, you will die of embarrassment recalling some of the things you said and did to look cool.

Snobbery at UA is by no means confined to the Greeks. You'll find a ton of it in the dorms, especially among the girls who feel they're "too good" to go Greek.

I would say that if you want a wide range of choices, rush now--you can always drop out of rush. UA, however, is one of those schools where if you don't rush fall of your freshman year you can forget about ever getting into most of the sororities. They mostly want freshmen and few have any openings for informal rush.

Please don't base anything on what you see or hear at orientation! I had such a terrible time at orientation...I probably never would have enrolled in college if I had thought that my actual experience at the University would mirror my time at orientation! I had an airhead roommate, I got lost twice and the people I met who were going through rush were snobby.
But then I came to school and everything worked out fine. I think that you should go ahead and rush... remember, you can always quit if you decide it isn't for you. You've got nothing to lose and a lot to gain. :D

I agree with most of the ppl here..GO AHEAD AND RUSH! Don't take what other "pnm"s do too personally...Finally, go out and have some fun!

echo to all above
 

college is all about new experiences. definitely give recruitment a shot. and remember to be true to you. keep an open mind and don't listen to the noise around you. just let your heart guide you. you may be surprised at your success and happiness.:D

Go for it. Don't let the fake/catty attitude of other PNM's get to you - concentrate on the sisters. Sometimes PNM's will backstab other PNM's, thinking it will increase their chances of getting a bid by ruining someone else's chance :rolleyes: but such women are often cut early on.

When you get to later rounds, especially pref, take a look at the other PNM's who have been invited... anyone invited to pref is a potential sister, so sororities choose very carefully whom they invite, and these women are potentially your pledge sisters. If you see a lot of PNM's obviously being fake, catty, rude, etc. - it might not be the sorority for you.

You learn a lot about people when you go through recruitment. The girls who may seem snotty right now may just be trying to impress someone, granted their doing so poorly, but trying to impress nonetheless. Try not to base them solely on first impressions...some haven't quite mastered giving good first impressions. If Greek life interests you, and you feel comfortable around the girls who are sisters, not the ones who wish to be, then you owe it to yourself to find out what it's really all about. By participating in recruitment, you'll learn a lot about Greek life, about the sisters, and even about yourself. Go for it, you're under no obligation to pledge simply because you rushed. Good luck hun!

Go for it!
 

The university that you are going through rush at sounds a lot like mine. When I went through my orientation, it was so much like what you described, you took the words right out of my mouth!! I thought about it a lot (I rushed last August). I had already sent in my money, I don't know if all schools have a rush fee, but ours did- so I said what the heck I don't have anything to lose and I had the opportunity to gain so much. So many of the pnm's seemed fake and their conversations seemed so superficial. I was praying that most of them would not become my sisters! The icing on the cake was when the girls of the panhellenic council modeled their outfits to show us what kind of clothes were appropriate for rush. I remember thinking that it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know what is acceptable and what isn't. I guess that it was good to show us what types of things to wear so that we were all on the same page, so to speak but when they separated out and said this is good for round 1, and this for 2, and so on, I thought that was a little much.
I say definately go for it. During rush you will probably think, okay I know that these girls do not smile all the time and are not always this happy. I looked for the sorority that was the most real and down to earth.
From reading some of your posts, you seem like the type of PNM that lots of sororities are looking for because you are in it for the right reasons, not just the partying, etc.
Sorry so long, but keep us updated on everything that is going on.
When does rush start for you?

Love Ya'll!!!
 

Man, you girls really are great at making someone feel better. I just read all of your replies and they really made me stop and think for a second. I think i will give it a try, not positive yet, but i think i will. It sounds to me like a lot of people share my feelings, which is very comforting. The only backfire is that some of the sororities seemed just as snotty as the other chicks. Ah well, maybe not, i'm probably just overreacting. I did feel really welcomed by a few of the groups but becasue i am not stick-thin, platinum blonde, with perfect make-up...i felt looked over a bit by some. I'm sorry if i'm throwing a pity party for myself, i really don't want it to sound that way, i'm just concerned considering this is like my future right here.....ah sigh. Thank you all again for your many words of wisdom, you all are magnifico!
~Tara~

P.S. If you reply, make them as loooong as you like....the longer the better (well that didn't exactly come out right)...you know what i mean...thanx!

(Oh ya, and rush starts the 20th i believe)

Tara,
Got my fingers crossed for ya! I know you will do well in rush.

TG

Thanks so much TrojanGirl!!!

Seriously, if you felt like some of the chapters weren't what you want, you're ahead already! (Assuming you didn't feel that way about all of them.) You're going to have to make a lot of choices during rush, and there are a lot of chapters to sort through, and you're doing yourself a favor by realizing early on what sort of chapters are right for you.

Hate to sound stupid, but where are you going to school??

Just Do It!
 

When I went to college I never thought I would rush! I had the sorority stereotype stuck in my head and didn't think I fit into that one little bit. Oreintation was scary and there were a lot of girls trying to impress...but Rush is when everything becomes real.

Trust me...from being on both sides of Rush, the houses know and so do you. You will know where you fit and where you don't. And the houses will see right through those fakes...if that is what they want...too bad for them...if they want a real sister...I think you will be in luck! You sound like a great person.

Go through, have a great time, meet some real friends, and hopefully you will find a house to call home!

Good luck!

Stacy
Zeta Tau Alpha;)

UCLAgirl, you're a rushee too?
Welcome. I hope you both stick around and give us the play by play of your rush experiences. We love a good rush story around here. Also, chances are no matter what happens someone around here has seen it too and can give you some great advice.
Good luck and above all have a great time!

Tara,
I just wanted to say that you sound like a great girl and don't let them stop you!!! I will be a PNM too -- but not this Fall -- and so I definitely know what you mean about girls being fake, etc.

Please still go through rush!! I bet you will join an awesome sorority where you will be happy to call it home :D. Please keep us posted!!!

UCLA Girl, I wish you the best of luck too :D. Please keep us posted on how rush goes for you!!

Tara,

Going through recruitment is not a contract to join a sorority. Go, look around, make some new friends, and decide at the end of recruitment whether or not it is for you. At least you'll have tried...and I have a feeling you'll be glad you did! :)

Skip the boards ONE day and miss a great thread!

Tara, evey single reply is WONDERFUL! Listen to YOUR heart and you will make the right decision.

Ladies, I salute you!

Alot of times the PNM's that trash talk other people are 1) insecure about rush themselves or 2) OVERLY secure about rush (that can really bite you in the butt...).

Don't worry about them. Go through rush and see what the sororities have to offer. That's the whole reason that there are different sororities. If those girls are nothing like you, chances are they won't like the same sorority that you click with anyway. Plus, if you don't like it, nobody is forcing you to join.

Have fun!

Wow, thanks for all the great advice everyone!!! I'm very thankful for you all. Oh by the way: shadokat-i'm going to the University of Arkansas-Fayetteville. and UCLA Girl, we need to keep in contact during rush...i think it could help us through it...haha. And thanx for letting me know that what i'm feeling is not out of the ordinary.
Tara

if anybody wants to talk to me through AOL or something, my screen name is BarrelSlicer (it's a rodeo thing....) Thanks a million!

Tara (and UCLA Girl and all PNMs who may be lurking out here!):


Please keep sharing your recruitment experiences with us here on GreekChat. It looks like Arkansas has a phenomenal greek system, I've been looking at their website this afternoon. (It's at http://uagreeks.uark.edu/ if anyone is interested.)

We're all here to support and cheer you on during the experience. It sounds like you've got your head in the right place to make the best decisions for you during recruitment! Just keep your mind and heart open, trust yourself and have fun...and remember we're here to help.


Christin

this is a little off topic, but there was a thread at one point which told the rush stories of the actives/alums. if someone could find it and bump it back up i think it would be great for the PNM's to read before they go through rush so they know what they feeling is completely normal. if not, we can always start the thread again.

http://130.94.21.174/gcforums/showth...&threadid=2210


maybe this is it?

nope, that was "embarassing rush stories"...this one chronicles everyone's story.

ok, i couldn't find it...i'll start a new thread. share your stories!

Hi Tara! Please go ahead and go through formal recruitment, then follow your heart. The last thing that you would want is to not even try and then regret it. Trust me, I know!

As a high school senior I was advised by a fraternity friend to wait until my sophomore year to go through recruitment. Not knowing any better, I took his advice. (My school would take sophomores in recruitment, so that wouldn't have been a problem.) My freshman year in the dorms some of my neighbors were greek, and they were catty, rude, and used to talk behind their sisters' backs all the time. I saw the behavior of these few women and decided not to even try recruitment the next year. Of course, as college progressed I met so many wonderful greek women who were nothing like that, and now, six years later I am pursuing alumna initiation. And I truly regret letting the actions of a few change my mind.

I know our situations aren't the same, but I would definately recommend you at least try. In my life I have rarely regretted the things that I have tried, but I have regretted the things that I haven't tried.

Jenn

YES! That's exactly what i'm thinking right now. The only drawback is that now (as of last night) my mom told me that she doesn't see the importance and neccessity of Greek life, thus she's not very supportive. This s hurting me right now and i'm torn wether to heed to her wishes or just show her that "i'm a big girl now" and i can make my own choices. Ugh, i swear my life has been nothing but sheer drama for the past year.....

Tara,
I'll let you know something that it took me a while to figure out. At one time or another, everyone is insecure. As you have discovered, freshman year and recruitment are two of those times. People behave very differently during stressful, new experiences. This might explain the type of behavior you have seen demonstrated. Don't allow the behavior of other people to change your feelings about greeklife. Go into recruitment with an open mind, put your best foot forward, and enjoy yourself. Good luck! :D

As for your mother, give her all the information about how many successful women are in sororities. Show her the NPC website and the websites of greeklife at your college and their chapters. I suggest that you save some money so you can pay your way.

cream wrote As for your mother, give her all the information about how many successful women are in sororities. Show her the NPC website and the websites of greeklife at your college and their chapters. I suggest that you save some money so you can pay your way. More excellent advice!

Mention the scholastic part of Greek life and how it would be especially beneficial to you. You will be meeting women who actually graduate from college, have a GPA to maintain and associating with leaders on the campus. All that should warm a mother's heart! ;)

If they have designated study hours, mention that too!

Ya i think she is just scared that me, her baby, last one off to college and (i like to think) favorite child ;-) ), is off to college. She has a frame of mind that soroities are the spawn of satan...not really..i tend to exaggerate, and hat all that they are is drinking. She still thinks all of this even though she attended the parents meeting for greek life.

Tara,

My mom was less than thrilled when I let her know I was interested in sororities. There are still so many stereotypes floating around, and at first she thought that greek orgs were no more than "school sponsored drinking clubs" (which is SO far from the truth!). But, it was my decision, and if a sorority was what I needed to complete my college experience... she understood.
Your mom realizes that you're an adult now, and although she may not particularly endorse the idea of going greek, this is one of the first of many decisions you are going to be making in the years to come. Chances are, once you get into it, she will too, right along with you.
My mom laughed and cried with me throughout rush, and even printed out my GC rush story to show to her friends. She knows how much my sorority means to me, that I have made the best friends of my life. This past year it has been kind of like a support system, a home away from home. Since you're going to school so far away from home, maybe you should tell her you need something like that.
Is she worried about "social hour" cutting into study time?? We have to maintain a certain GPA in order to be in good standing with our chapter (I think that's pretty standard for ANY sorority... am I right, ladies?), and there are sisters from almost every major who are more than happy to help you if you're struggling in a particular area. It's a win-win situation, either way.
I hope things start looking up for yall. Don't be afraid to rush!!! :)

OK, i had a long discussion with my mom last night about rush and sororities in general. I explained to her all of the positive things that sororities and sisterhood do for a person and how i feel like i need to do it. So she said "go for it" and she'd be right behind me everystep of the way if i needed her. So i suppose that makes it official, i'm going to rush. Yay! So now i'm relieved b/c i feel like i'm not gonig against my mom's wishes...because guilt is the last thing i'll need to add to my emotions come rush week. Well, thannk you all for your help, you're some of the best people i have come to know.
Sincerely~Tara

Tara, we're all glad to hear it...and we can't wait to hear your recruitment story! :)

Please Keep us Posted!!!!!!! We want to hear your step by step recruitment stories!!! I hope you are excited, and have lots of fun!

I'll be sure to keep you all posted. I move into the dorms August 17th and i think rush starts the 18th....so i've got a little ways to go, but i'm still extatic (sp?). I finally found some recs for ADPi and ZTA, but i really need one for ChiO so hopefully all will fall into place by the 17th. Thanx for all of your support!

Hey Tara, which dorm will you be in? I was in Pomfret.:rolleyes: It gives you these really muscular legs.:rolleyes: