NPC Rush at "bigger schools" and therapy
 

I know that there are some schools and campuses out there where getting into an NPC sorority is considered to be of the utmost importance, in terms of one's "social survival".

My question pertains to:
a)the girls who don't get a bid, or
b)get a bid from a sorority that they don't want and so they decline it

Is there any kind of therapy or counselling in place by Panhell to help these girls cope with their dissappointment? Or is it up to the rushees themselves to seek out counselling through the university's student services, etc?

I would be really interested to know whether Panhell has any sort of "coping mechanism" in place. Thank you!

Okay, this is going to sound a bit mean I guess, but think of it this way: if the girls are so picky about who gets into their NPC groups, and spares no feelings in cutting girls over tiny things, why would they care about the after effects?

I'm sure there are some schools out there that *do* have such a program in place. And I applaud those schools. Its really devastating to have your (temporary) sense of self-worth crushed, because ~800 girls have decided you're not good enough after only meeting you for 30 minutes.

The Rho Chis claim to "be there for you" if you get cut from all the houses. When mine gave me "the call" she read a prepared-sounding statement about how there are other groups on campus that I should get involved in...But otherwise, there is no such program at LSU.

to my knowledge, there is no Panhell run "coping mechanism", however, each campus being different, it IS widely possible that sororities and fraternities alike, or the actual college/university run their own type of program on campuses. I think that if Panhell would bring such a program to every campus, it wouldn't be widely accepted, for no other reason than why would girls/boys wanted to be comforted by the same organizations that turned them down for membership. I think an outside therapy would be more accepted and benificial to one seeking it. I would think that maybe they would feel more comfortable speaking with someone not directly related to a greek organization. Maybe an outside source could work WITH the sorority/fraternity rush in case they are needed. That might be benificial and is definatly worth looking into.

Thanks to those who replied. I understand that it *would* be devastating, perhaps to the point where some devastated rushees have taken their own lives over it.

On the two campuses I have the most recruitment experience with, the Rho Chi's extensively counsel young women that are either dropped by certain chapters or do not receive a bid at all. The NPC recommends that all efforts be made to place all potential members. Unfortunately, this is not always possible.

I forget the actual number, but this last year at FSU, a very, very small percentage did not get placed at all. More than half of these were intentional single preference. There were over 1000 women signed up for Recruitment.

Barb

I personally have a problem with Rho Chi's giving council to ladies turned down, for one reason, they are members of a greek organization and don't exactly know what these young women are going thru, the other reason being simply that they are not a qualified therapist and have no background in counciling. Try as you might to have psychology majors be Rho Chi's, they still are not qualified in this area. I would feel terrible if a Rho Chi said the wrong thing causing a young lady to feel even worse, ultimatly hurting herself, the Rho Chi, or having a vengance toward greek organizations.

In my experience, Rho Chi's are instructed in basic counseling as it relates to bid-matching situations. They are instructed to report serious issues to the Greek Life office/director on their campus.

Yeah, that sounds better, it can still be scary though if you really think about it, but that is definatly a better scenario.

A question:

If no one single preferenced, dropped rush, declined bids from houses that were not their first choices---would every woman who went through rush be "placed" in a house?

Not necessarily. If there are tons of rushees and not enough spots open in the houses, some rushees could still be left out in the "cold". So you see, how potentially devastating Rush can be some girls.

With the modern bid-matching, everyone completing recruitment will be placed. It could be that a woman's preferences cannot be matched during regular bid-matching. In these cases she will be asked if she will accept a bid from a chapter not on her preference card. If she says no, she is eligible for snap bidding OR informal recruitment.

Barb

I went thru rush 3 times, and the first 2 times, I was crushed. I was asking "What the hell is wrong with me??", when really, it was just not meant to be at the time. I was persistant and kept trying. It hurt like hell when XYZ turned me down the first time. I backed away from all my friends because I felt like scum. Now, if only someone had TOLD me that this happens, especially at informal rush, I would not have felt so bad. I had no clue about rushing. I thought everyone got in, and how could they not love me?!LOL So what am I saying? I handled it and moved on and up. It gave me a tough skin and gave me the attitude that came shining thru finally, the self confidence. I was a weak pansy and needed the rejection to get a spine. So, personally, I would not have used this sort of counseling you are proposing. I would have felt talked down to and humiliated. Now, is this how other women may handle it? No, but I am glad I used the experience of falling to teach myself that I can pick my self up!

I was a Rho Chi last fall, so I can give you a little bit of info about my school. We had lots of training for counseling our women. Although we were not certified, we did go through multiple weekend retreats and weekly meetings. We were given handouts of common questions, bounced questions off each other and also did role playing. We have a great counseling center at our school as well that students can go to for free.

Concerning us not understanding these womens' situations because we are IN a GLO, it is a good point, but just because we are in an organization now does not mean that we got our 'first choice' or that we weren't cut from the system completely our first time around. And everyone (or close enough) has been cut by someone they thought they really liked. We may not be in the exact situation, but we've been through a lot and seen it happen to other people as well.

As far as the frequency of women not getting a bid goes, there was one women last year who did not recieve a bid. Our school does a matching system where you rank your top two. If you don't get either of them, you are eligible for a snap bid, but you won't necessarily get one. For women who dropped out, we call them that morning and ask if they will accept a snap bid from xyz sorority. For women who don't get a bid anywhere(extrememely rare) the Rho Chi will go and talk to the woman in person and hopefully will have a snap bid on hand. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/redface.gif) All my women recieved bids, however the ones that dropped out without signing their cards, I personally called and informed them of the sororities open rush parties. We always have a few chapters who don't make 'quota.' One of those 'dropouts' is now my little sis and through her we got 3 more beautiful women. What an asset! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/redface.gif)

I think CutiePie2000 poses an interesting question, and I think that would be a wonderful program for any university to institute, hopefully through the Psych or Health Services department though.

I know for a fact that, at a Texas school a couple of years ago, a freshman student jumped out of a dorm window to her death the week after rush was completed. Fact: her dorm was 95% Greek. Rumor: she went through rush and did not get a bid.

No matter what the motivation was for this young lady to do what she did, if the rush rumor is true, that stress could have been the last straw. Maybe a post-rush counseling program would have caught the signs and intervened????

Kinda OT, but does anyone remember that horrible article in Allure a few years ago about William & Mary's rush?

The author (who was obviously not Greek) had no idea why or how the rush process worked, and bemoaned the fact that at the end of rush 40 girls didn't get bids. He mentioned snap bidding and one of the unbidded girls responded "That's only for the loser sororities with the hideous girls." Ummm...maybe that attitude is why you didn't get a bid, honey!!

I wish when schools release the figures of girls who don't get bids, that they would also mention the women who are offered a chance to be a part of Greek life and turn their noses up in the air and reject it because it's not the richest or most popular sorority on campus. Sororities are accused of being superficial; sometimes the rushees also suffer from that flaw.

(hopping delicately off my soapbox)

Hmmm, I've been trying to think of how I could best describe some situations I've seen. On the one hand, it's difficult when a rushee turns up her nose at numerous chapters because they aren't cool enough for her. Sometimes these chapters are just newer or smaller or don't have all the Miss University candidates but they're good, strong sororities.

On the other hand, I have seen (and I'm sure several other seasoned Greeks have too) some really sorry groups, both fraternities and sororities. It may be due to lousy grades, not caring about the group, a cheap reputation, group drug use, extremely low morale--more often a combination--and even the most naive rushee thinks,"I do not care to go down with that ship." Almost every group I've described was gone from their campus in 1-2 years.

What has got to be hard for a rushee is to be told,"You didn't get a bid from your top 2 but this group you (and almost every other rushee) cut the first day wants to give you a snap bid." And it happens! When I rushed, there were 2 groups that asked everybody back every day and no one was interested. One group got 16 new members (quota was 42) and they lost over half before initiation.

I guess that's why I can't decide what I think about this issue...because on the one hand you have rushees who disdain almost every chapter on campus and on the other hand you have groups who have honestly earned the disdain of every chapter on campus.

I have been curious about this. Why would rushees get cut at all before pref day? I think this is severly limiting the women's exposure to the chapters and the chapters' exposure to the women. I think every woman should get to go to every sorority chapter's rush event until pref...Does anyone have a logical explanation as to why cutting would occur before pref day?

Although chapters do choose not to invite back certain rushees, the rushees also cut chapters. In addition, at least 10-20% of registered rushees never show up for the events and a similar figure drops out of recruitment.

Every day of an invitational, the rushees can only attend a specific number of chapters, thereby making the 'cutting' process one of mutual selection. Also, a potential member can only attend 3 preference parties, so it's doubtful that there would be 1400 members going through prefs at the same 3 chapters. Not to say it couldn't happen, but it would be very unusual.

At campuses with extremely large Greek systems (and the new members to prove it), I've heard they sometimes hold pref ceremonies over two days so as not to overwhelm the chapters.

Barb

I go to Indiana University, which has the largest and most competitive rush in the country. There are 19 houses here. Every year about 2000 girls go through rush, while about 800 get bids. Therefore, at IU you are actually a minority if you recieve a bid. Not all Greek systems place nearly all of their rushees.

I have read this figure before and it makes me heartsick!! To think of 1200 girls being miserable...I could just scream. My org had a chapter there for a few years and they closed it because they felt they couldn't compete without having been there 50 years and having the huge house. My take on it? Have several of the nationally smaller sororities come in together (so it's not one org standing alone) and get started and then worry about the houses. I would wager there are women who would like to have the sorority experience, who don't necessarily want to live in that kind of house....well I'm rambling, and I don't know how feasible that would be, but you have to take that first step before you go forward.

Anyhoo - carnation -yes I agree with what you said. There was a sorority I didn't go back to after Meet the Greeks because they had a well-documented reputation for hard hazing (and they were all about 6 feet tall -eeeek). There's a big diff between groups that are legitimately scary, and groups that are full of nice, bright girls, but aren't "top of the top" on campus. The latter was more what I meant.

Someone above mentioned that a Rho Chi has no way of knowing how a girl feels when she is cut. Just because a girl is in a sorority doesn't mean she wasn't cut from other sororities or was offered a snap bid. I know a Rho Chi who was cut altogether before on pref night and was then snap bidded. From what she told me, she knows the crushed self-esteem of being cut first-hand and has been able to help a lot of girls cope. I agree that there should be some kind of program to help girls cope after being cut. I've seen some that didn't recover for weeks.

Well i have something to say about Rho-Chis at my school, actually really only about one- mine!! I was going to go through fall rush, its formal here during that time, anyway i had already turned in my application and everything. Well about two weeks before rush was going to start she started calling me to tell me the dates and what not. She called me a total of two times- and was VERY rude,unfriendly, she basically sounded bored and like i was a waste of her time. I was already uneasy about rushing and she made it worse. I never met her, just talked to her over the phone, and i am not saying that she was trying to be rude or bored- maybe she really sounds like that... i dont know- but it didnt make me feel any better. Well now i am determined to go through spring rush, informal rush since its something i have been thinking about for a long time. I am not sure what will happen, but i am going to give it my best. I found out what sorority she is in, and it is already making me not want to join that one because of her- but i am willing to meet more members in her sorority to see how they are. I regret not rushing just because of my rho-chi and the "attitude" she had, but at the time i was just feeling really uncomfortable even talking her. Plus she had told me once that her and our rush group were all going to go to a football game together before rush started and that later she was going to call me on where to meet. Well she never called me- so i dont know if my group even went. Lastly- when i decided i was not going to rush- i called her and told her that i had changed my mind, and it wasnt a good time for me. Well she wasnt home so i left a message on her machine and asked her to call me back leaving my number. Yes i know that maybe one of her roommates heard it and forgot to save it, but it just adds to my list. On a final note, i am not saying this about all rho chis- just letting you know my experience with mine!

It may have the largest rush, but let me tell you something, "you ain't seen nuthin' 'til you've seen rush at Ole Miss!"

A-men on that!! I went to Delta State, a small school near Ole Miss, and have seen and heard about Rush there. You're right. It is AMAZING.