Top Ten Responses For Telemarketing Calls
 

(some of them are :rolleyes: and some are funny)

10. When they ask "How are you today?" Really tell them! Example: "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. If they ask why, tell them your attorney said to make sure you got all that information for the law suit.

8. Again, if they give their name, cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my Gosh! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... Would you be my friend?"

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not possibly just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say good bye - and hang up.

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your mom?"

And first and foremost:

1. Tell them to talk VERY, VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down so you can remember what they said.

OMG those are too funny! I am going to use some of them!!! Here is one,
ask them what they are wearing that should creep them out enough to leave you alone. Oh better yet tell them they have a sexy voice! :D

Hilarious!
 

That list was too funny!

I eliminated telemarketer calls by getting Caller Intercept with my local phone company. Anyone who's phone number does not show up on my caller id cannot get thru to me. It's wonderful! My friends that live far away (and whose number would not normally show up) can punch in my code to let the call ring thru. I recommend that service to anyone who hates getting telemarketing calls.

Peace!

I worked in telemarketing for the longest 5 months of my life (Would you like to buy a Kirby vaccuum cleaner?) and can vouch for that you will really piss a telemarketer off by doing any one of those things :) I've heard them all. Seriously, the talking really slow is the worst thing you can do to a telemarketer - so... take note :D

My # 1 response.....

CLICK!

Re: Hilarious!
 

lol. Thank God for technology! With our feature, they can get through, BUT they have to either 1) say their name/company 2) press a number and allow the name/number to be shown.

I LOVE IT! It's worth the extra $$$ monthly.

rotfl
 

I have call screening on my phone, too. But I may have to take it off just to get a chance you use the lines from this list. Thanks for brightening up my day!

I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard, that list is hilarious!

lmao!
 

I laughed so hard at some of those!!! My fav is to let them go on with their whole sales pitch then when they ask "Do you have any questions?" I say "Yeah, What color draws are ya wearin?":o :D :p :eek:

I telemarketed for four months. It was horrible. They actually wanted us to sell accident death and dismemberment insurance. Who in their right mind would buy that over the phone?

Anyway, I don't even give them any tired excuses. My mother is famous for telling people that she's out of work. If you give an excuse, they'll just say you weren't home and put you in for a call back in a few days. I tell telemarketers straight up "I don't want it and take me off of your list." By law, they have to and they also have to give a toll free number where you can call if you have any questions.

Re: Top Ten Responses For Telemarketing Calls
 

I am cthu! I just love these. http://www.plauder-smilies.de/rofl.gif

This is just wrong!
 

This is not even right! I was a telemarketer for like a month (I hated it with a passion!) and it was just so horrible when people hung up on you and played games and stuff. People were just so rude. I'm just trying to stick up for all the telemarketers out there:D But seriously as a receiver of those calls, I'll definately have to try some of these b/c they are really too funny, especially my favorites in the quote!

When a telemarketer asks me if the person in charge of making the household decisions is home, I just tell them "No". That pretty much shuts down their phone call :D

Speaking as a curent telemarketer I really don't think that you should play games with them because were trying to make money just like you. But if you REALLY want to stop the calls POLITELY ask the person to put you on the DO NOT CALL LIST and to send you the information in writting that your name and number has been taken off the system. I stress politely because the person can keep you on the lisit and you would keep getting calls.

:D Okay these were too funny!!I think I will have to use them.I am at my desk laughing away!!I hate telemarketers callign everday. You tell them no,but they still call.

My friend had a telemarketer to call for her Dad and tell her Mom she was his girl friend.They really wanted to sell some magazines!!

I guess we all do what we have to do, but...
 

that's unacceptable, lol. I worked in telemarketing for a few weeks, maybe a month. I needed to save money for my trip abroad. I quit. Why? I wouldn't do the rebuttals. If someone told me no, I said THANK YOU and hung up. Then I just couldn't do it anymore. It's the Golden Rule. Don't play games with them? Like they can't just hang up. Girl, please, lol.

These ARE great!! :D :D I guess that my MAIN response is ALWAYS what Prayerfull said hers would be... CLICK!!! That's right, I just hang right up. But here are some lines that I've used when telemarketers would catch me off guard:

1. After they give their pitch, I tell them to call back to talk to my husband (because I KNOW that he'll tell them off).

2. I act as if I have a hearing problem. I would say (in a loud voice) "HUH, WHAT DID YOU SAY?", "CAN YOU REPEAT THAT?".

3. I continually ask them to hold on.

4. I give my 3-year-old son the phone.

5. Let them give their sales pitch and then just flat out tell them I'm not interested and to not call back.

6. When the credit card telemarketers call, I always tell them that my card is maxed out or I got rid of the card (that usually does it).

But here are some that I'm thinking about using:

1. Act as if I'm in the middle of an "intimate" moment with my hubby.

2. Turn my music or television up and let them try to talk to me over the music or television.

3. Act as if I'm arguing with someone.

4. Ask them about employment opportunities and act as if I'm really serious about it (Yeah, right!!). :D :D

See, now, LOL, you got issues! #4 is my ultimate fav. Tell me you really didn't do that?! I wonder how long that convo lasted?!

And #1 wold be hilarious! They'd be like "Oh! Did we catch you at a bad time?" #3 would be funny too.

Oh yeah, Sisterfriend, I've done #4 and after a while I didn't haveto worry about THEM hanging up because MY SON would say "BYE-BYE!" and HE would hang up. :D :D

I mean, if they just HAPPEN to call and my husband and I are... BONDING... then, so be it. My husband is NOT someone who likes to be "disturbed" during times like that. He'd be quick to tell me to get rid of them. :D :D Now #3 would be kinda hard to do because my husband and I have NEVER argued (and we've been together for 11 years). I would probably haveto wait until I'm fussing about my daughter cleaning her room or something like that.

But they ARE good, aren't they? :D :D :D

Re: I guess we all do what we have to do, but...
 

Well to each is own... But I'm currently a student an its hard to find a job that pays $15 a hour just to call people an offer a special promotion. Why is that unacceptable? To me unacceptable is selling drugs, sex and/ or stealing not trying to make an honest living. I do agree people could hang up but, whats the point of hanging up when that same person is going to get another phone call the next day. I just think that it is better to tell the telemarketer to put you on the "do not call list" instead of playing games just to get another call. But then again that just the way I look at it :)

I'm not sure about other states, but in GA there is a way you can get random telemarketers to stop calling.

Check out www.ganocall.com

You have to pay $5 to be covered for 2 years but it's well worth it. The only catch some companies can still call you- they are:

-Businesses that have a previous or current relationship with the customer;
-Recognized charitable or religious organizations; or
-Political pollsters or candidates for public office.

I love it when they ask for the "lady of the house." When I was growing up, we gave the phone to my youngest sister, who is ten years younger than I am. Now I tell them that the lady of the house does not have speech capabilities...but she does have four legs and a tail and a penchant for tuna.