Gaaaa, heartbreak!
 

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I'm right with you. Broken hearted.:( I haven't fallen asleep before 2 AM since it happened. I'm Miss Insomnia. I wish I could give you advice, but I don't have any.

Valkyrie,
I'm so sorry to hear about your heartbreak :( I think the best thing is to cry, scream, beat up your pillow, whatever....just get all of your emotions out. THEN, seek out your girlfriends and keep busy with them.

I know it's not easy, and I wish you the best of luck, sweetie.

time heals
 

ditto to all earlier advice...
also understand time does heal.
although that's not a lot of comfort right now.
lol
mmcat :rolleyes:

I'm right there with you Valkyrie and Cream. If you find any "cures" let me know. Or if you just want to chat, PM for my id and email...I'm sorry you guys are feeling this way right now too.

*hugs for everyone, and hands them a pint of Ben and Jerry's*
They are the only guys you REALLY need ;)

Breaking up is never easy, no matter if you know it's going to happen or not. I now it's very hard right now, but this will actually make you a stronger person. I'm sorry to hear about your situations, if you need to vent or need to talk to someone my AOL is on or you can PM me.

Me too!
 

I'm going through the exact same thing.... all of the sudden the guy that i'm in love with decides that he can't be a good boyfriend to me. He's undergoing some medical problems, etc. and i'm trying to stay by his side, but he basically just is distancing himself, and says that he wants me to be happy.
I know in my heart that this is the way things need to be, and i know that i'll be fine in the long run, but it hurts and sucks right now. I'm trying to keep busy starting a small ebay business and taking a few trips to see some friends. But it's so difficult.

I am totally with Allie on this one. They say that time heals all wounds, but my money's on ice cream. :D

Seriously, though, I'm sorry to hear about your heartbreak, valkyrie. Go out and do something nice for yourself and do your best to keep busy. That's the best advice I have.

Surround yourself with your friends and family more, avoid too much isolation.

You guys are all so awesome. Thanks for being kind and supportive. :)

I'm sorry to hear about your heartbreak. :( I've been there too.

The thing NOT to do is sit at home and cry. That may be all you want to do right now, and that's fine... but after a while, you will want to get out and get yourself distracted. Spend time with your friends, go shopping, take up a new hobby, etc.

Don't do anything stupid, either, like crawl into a bottle... not that you would, but it should be said.

Chin up. "It's always darkest just before they turn on the lights." :)

Three words: SHOP, SHOP SHOP!

When you are ready to hang with the girls, shopping and girl movies are the best cure for any illness, problem or anything else. Even if you don't buy anything, there is just something about shopping with friends who understand what you are going through.

I also get my sisters (biological and A Phi) to go get me videos and TCBY and have pity parties on my couches.

Sorry things didn't work out!

DZRose said,

"I am totally with Allie on this one. They say that time heals all wounds, but my money's on ice cream."

I heard it was, "Time wounds all heels."

The ice cream is not a bad idea either.

Feel better.

The suggestions already mentioned will go a long way towards helping you come to terms with the overwhelming nature of the feelings you're having right now. It is important that you take that time to really BE sad for a while. You can't heal at all if you don't grieve. BUT, those activities like eating, shopping, pity-partying are temporary distractions and should only be utilized within these first few days. Allow yourself 2-3 days of intense grieving, then set into action a plan of repair. This is your opportunity to take the time that you had previously spent on this "relationship" and focus it on YOU! Call the salon,& make an appt. with your stylist, get a massage, develop a workout plan (getting involved in a running group or aerobics class--anything with a group of people helps a LOT!), clean out the fridge, dump all the junk food & make a pledge to yourself to be healthier.... Take this time to treat yourself the way YOU NEED to be treated! When you feel & look great, you become a magnetic personality that others desparately want to be around and you'll have them all drooling at your feet! Now get out there & be a beautiful soul!

a few things....

1. sleep aids....tylenol pm works great, esp. with a glass of wine, and if you can get a perscription: ambien is highly recommended. Because you can't function if you don't sleep, and if you can't function, you can't deal with the loss and begin healing. Sleep is very important!!!

2. I know you are having trouble eating, but insted of trying to eat a meal 3 times a day...eat about every 2 hours just a little snack. and try to keep that snack healthy: apples, summer fruits, cheese and crackers, soup, bowl of rice....it will keep your blood sugar and metabloism up.

3. exercise. Chemically, you can change your mood by increasing your endorphin levels. Even if you just go for a 10 minute walk. It will begin to eliviate some of the stress. Swiming and yoga work wonders for me.

4. If nothing else works, and you are just so angry that you can't see straight, go find some glass bottles or old glasses or mugs, and find a place where you can throw them until they shatter. And every time you put one in your hand, you can deem that one of the symbols that represents the relationship and as it shatters, you can begin to see it no longer exists.

can you tell i am really into the psyche and nutrition...i know, iam a freak!

Ice cream does work wonders, unfortunately the side effects will force me to go shopping for a new larger wardrobe if I eat it too much. So for now I'm going to avoid it.

I guess that I shouldn't feel that bad because I ended things. It's just sad. :(

I say go find someone to hook up with ASAP!!!!!! That seems to be the best way my friends and i have done it, the new person helps keep your mind off of the old one.....

But be cautioned.....This could also have the reverse effect, like once in my case. I had been talking to this girl for about 2 weeks and finally when we werent drunk and passed out and so she intiated a sexual advance to me..... I let her try to have her fun but it couldnt stay ( if you know what i mean). All I could think about was my ex and how much i loved her and i still felt like i was betraying her......finally I pushed the girls head off of me and told her to leave. I never heard from her again. I then told my ex and she started crying, then like a little bitch, i started crying. I dont know what it is about those ZETA's and DeeGee's but any sense of machoness goes flying out the window when i get involved with one. I swear all my boys/brothers start making fun of my ass for being sweet/romantic towards a woman i'm involved with.

I know :(
 

Yeah, I broke up with my SO on CHRISTMAS DAY! And I am STILL not over it....I guess because we've slipped back and forth between that friends and lovers zone too much. He's infinitely special to me, but in my heart, I know we need to be apart for now...*sigh* I know all too well what you are going through....I dived into working out...Really helped me feel better about myself and my prospects, though. I recently joined a gym. It's nice being able to read the menu AND order now !! LOL!!

i figured i'd bump this up, because i'm sure that those of us who are having a rough time aren't done with it yet.
i haven't spoken to mine in a week. he won't return calls, emails, etc. I can deal with the breaking up, but i need some closure and resolve. I can't deal when things are unresolved. It's been a week, and i think it's even worse. All this evening i've been bursting into tears with even the slightest though of him. ANd i unfortunately can't shop or join a gym b/c i've very strapped for cash right now. I just don't know what to do.
i'd like to hear what others are doing to cope...

Valkyrie and the rest of you heartbroken souls,

I am so sorry about your unfortunate circumstances. I know how hard it is-have been there a couple of times. I know people say don't be alone get out there-but that is the only way I heal is by myself (and with a good therapist :)). I went through a bad break up 2 years ago and had to constantly see my ex everyday b/c we worked together. It was horrible to say the least. A few months later it was time for my HS reunion-I think this was the turning point for me. I went and had a great time and looked damn good plus I had a little baseball player on the side :). I never looked back-a few months earlier I would have never thought I would make it through but I did. I still work with my ex and we are very good friends-that is also something that I thought would have never happened.

You will make it through

Karen

I know how you feel...
 

Hi everyone,

I am going through the same thing. My boyfriend got really drunk and made out with another girl. Then, he decided we weren't working out and instead of trying to resolve things, he broke up with me a week before our two year anniversary! He used the old excuse that he needed time to figure things out. His roommate and several of his friends have told me not to give up on him because he still loves me but he's scared because we're at the age (we're both turning 26 next month) where we should be thinking about marriage and houses, but he's not ready for that and he's worried that he won't be able to provide for us. They also say he feels really guilty for cheating on me and he thinks I deserve better than him. That may be true, but I love him and want to work things out. It's so hard to let go when all of his friends are telling me that we belong together and he will come around soon. I'm not waiting forever. My friends and family have been an amazing support system throughout this whole ordeal. There's also a great message baord where you can go and write whatever you are feeling and get great feedback and encouragement from people who have gone through it too. You should all check it out: http://members.boardhost.com/Tigress/

Good luck to everyone!

Here's an update...
 

We got to talking last night and I told him I deserved someone who loves me and is willing to be with me. I told him I deserved to be happy. He asked if I thought he could make me happy. I told him that I knew he could, but he had to be willing to try. He said he wasn't ready to commit to anything right now. He thinks that if we get back together, we'll get stuck in the rut we were in before we broke up and start fighting again. We've been hanging out for a month now and it's like we are getting to know each other all over again. We've been getting along great and things between us have never been better. I told him I didn't want to pressure him to make any decisions. I just wanted him to know how I felt and couldn't hold it in anymore. He said he liked how things were going and we're really getting along and we're happy. I said I liked it too and things didn't have to change when and if we get back together. He said we should just keep doing what we're doing and we'll play it by ear and see what happens. He told me to be patient. I told him I learned that I don't need flowers, letters, or to talk about marriage, I just needed him. I told him that I love him and asked if he still loves me. He said he wasn't willing to say that yet, but then he said, "You know I do." He's told my best friend and all of his friends he loves me. I'm the only person he hasn't told.

I told him I didn't want to look stupid if he meets someone else and I get thrown to the side. He said that won't happen, and though he talks to other girls, he won't have sex with them or hook up. I asked how he would feel if I met another guy and dated him. He said, "If that's what you feel you have to do, but I'll kick his ass." What is that???? He told me not to worry, because he's not dating anyone. I asked if he was dating me, and he said we're "seeing each other". We have plans to see each other tomorrow night and Saturday. He also asked what the plans were for my birthday next Tuesday and 4th of July. So, we're dating I guess. But what is holding him back? Since when is love not enough?

Valkyrie, I know how you're feeling because I went through it back in January...and I still can't say I'm 100%. My advice: cry it out. Sometimes a good old fashion cry can do wonders. Sometimes I would put on a song that reminded me of my ex and I would just cry until I couldn't cry anymore. For some reason, It always made me feel a little better.

Good advice Leslie! I cried a few days ago, and I feel so much better. I wasn't even crying over the break up, but I think that I needed the cathartic release.

I have one good cry let it all out and then I move on.

simple
 

forget Ben and Jerry's. Call up the hottest guy you know and ask him out.

I realize this is no consolation, and it may sound a bit gruff (and I apologize for that), but you really haven't lived until you've had your heart broken.

It will only get better from here. Keep your chin up. :)

get drunk with my friends
let them tell you she sucked anyway
go fishin







btw, ben & jerry's new Dave Matthews Band flavour, "One Sweet Whirled" is delicious. Vanilla Coke compliments it, nicely.