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I am a sorority girl
I am a sorority bitch. My daddy is a Lawyer and my mommy stays home and goes shopping to keep me up on the latest fashions since I am nearly 20 minutes from the mall here at college. I have highlights in my fashionably short hair and my skin is always bronzed despite the three feet of snow outside. Good thing I have a Jeep Grand Cherokee or I'd never make it through the elements! I wear diamond studs in my ears and enough silver jewelery to blind oncoming traffic. I have a frat-boy boyfriend. My frat boy boyfriend and I met freshmen year at the rec center. I spend a lot of my free time at the rec center. I realized after i gained the freshman 15 that working out has got to be my number one priority if I am going to make it through college and still fit into a BeBe dress at graduation. I work out at least once a day and go to the rec when it is the most crowded, that way I am guaranteed to see people and be seen. I love sports bras. I love the way they look with my Adidas running shoes (You know the frat boy grey ones) and my patagonia shorts. Sometimes when I'm feeling fat I'll wear my Derby days t-shirt instead, or something that has my greek letters plastered on it somewhere. I am very motivated, or at least pretend to be. I carry a coach planner and you'll notice that all major social events are highlighted in pink marker. That way I'll have plenty of time to figure out what I am wearing for our date party on Friday. I often complain about how busy I am, how stressed out school makes me, etc...But only because all my friends and my frat-boy boyfriend and his friends do too. I go out every night. Last night I stayed in though because all my black bootleg pants here at the dry cleaner and I chipped a nail which put me in a wretched mood. All my friends told me this morning that last night was pretty "RANDOM" anyway. Today it is 65 degrees! Time to shed the patagonia pullover and the North Face Jacket! I shower and do my hair every morning before I go to class. I have enough MAC makeup to open my own store. I call Banana Republic "B-REPS" and buy my black pants at "BeBe". I wear bootleg everything. Somedays I try to look like a frat-boy and wear my bootleg khaki's with my boyfriend's COCKS baseball hat. I use words like "sweetheart" and "baby" often as ways of showing my affection for others. Daddy pays for all my credit card bills. Last night daddy called and was angry that I went over my limit. I tried to explain I was having a bad day and I really needed that new cardigan, but he just wouldn't listen. Sometimes he's so insensitive. I love sex. If I say I don't I am lying. If I go to a late night party, I have intentions of hooking up. If I cry, it is my first time. If I scream, I am being dramatic. If I talk about sex, I am a tease, If I don't I am a closet whore. My frat boy boyfriend and I dont have sex. We make love. HE says there is a big difference. Well, enough boring details of my life... I am running fashionably late so I'd better cut this short! I'm off to meet my sorority bitch friends for coffee to gossip about our frat boy boyfriends and talk about how much we hate the girls in other sororities. Oh shoot, has anyone seen my pea coat! Gotta go now, talk to you soon "HONEY"! :eek: A bit disturbing.... |
This is the one I was emailed
I’m a sorority bitch.
I wear Gucci sunglasses. Hell, even my eyeglasses are Gucci. All of clothes are designer…be it Abercrombie, American Eagle, Bebe, or anything from Bloomingdale’s. I fake bake. I watch “Friends.” I complain about Monday night chapter. I binge drink. I drink lots of hard alcohol. I get pissy if there’s not enough alcohol in my drink. I take shots. I throw up in frat house bathrooms. I throw up and then I drink some more. I drink too much. I talk about how wasted I was last night really loud in class. I was really wasted last night. I go out every night. I don’t go to class. I don't know all of my professors’ names, but I know all the names of famous designers. I know where the mall is but I don't know where to register for classes. I live in my big beautiful sorority house. We have fancy dinners, chefs, busboys, and maids. I live with my best friends in the sorority house. We have a chart that shows when we go to class. Whoever is missing one gold star has to go that 8am Friday morning class that we all share. I only get good grades on papers because my sisters have copies of them. I have a cell phone. I talk on my cell phone on the way to class. My cell phone often rings in class. People know I am popular because my cell phone rings so much. I don’t associate with anyone but frat boys, with the occasional friend from high school. I shack. I have lots of different guys' boxers because I shack. I have a frat boy boyfriend. I shack at frat houses. You will see me walking down fraternity row in my black platforms and a tube top and capri pants at 11 am on Sunday morning because I just woke up. I wear Victoria’s Secret underwear… at least it will look good when it's on the floor. When I am involved with non-frat boys everyone thinks it’s weird. I think it’s weird when I’m involved with non-frat boys. I make out with fraternity boys at frat parties. I can be found at a frat house on any given night at 1:30 am. Late night, duh. I spend hours doing my hair before I go to class so I can get that "messy" look. When I'm feeling lazy I throw on my sorority anorak and a pair of Reefs (the sorority girl uniform). I go to the gym with makeup on. My hair looks perfect when I am at the gym. I go to the gym in pure spandex. I act like I'm working out really hard when I am at the gym, but really I am only checking out frat boys. I diet. I eat salads and lots of chocolate cake. I wear sorority t-shirts everywhere, but especially to the gym. I have the perfect outfit for every crush party. At pimps and hoes I don't even have to dress up.I shop as much as I can. My car is an obvious sorority girl car-it has a big sticker on it or a plate holder on it with my letters. I drive a really cute car. I spend more money on my purses than you did on your computer. I only use my computer to email people. I get my nails done. I have a cigarette case to match all of my Kenneth Cole shoes. I have MAC make up. I have a Tiffany's bracelet with my name engraved on it. I’m spoiled. I have lots of frat guys’ phone numbers on my tack board. I talk about everyone. I gossip about my sisters. I cherish the Greek pages. I talk about my sorority in class. I will ask you about your sorority in class. I will let everyone know what sorority I'm in. I am a Chi Hoe, a Phi Sniff Sniff, an STD, a Dirty Girl, an AE Fat, a Phi Moo, or an Almost Chi O. You wish you were like me. I know if you were really cool you would rush. If you did rush and dropped, we didn't want you anyway. I wear cute clothes to go get my mail. I have sex with frat boys. I always know what's going on. And if it's going on and I don't know about it, it must not be cool. I will ask you what sorority you're in and I will try not to laugh if your sorority sucks... or if you’re not in a sorority at all, wow, I'm really sorry. What do you do if you're not in a sorority? Do you go out if you're not in a sorority? Do you have any friends? Where on earth do you go to drink? I have thousands of photographs. I am kissing a frat boy or drinking alcohol in 80 percent of the photos. In the other 20 percent I am too drunk to hold a beer any more or I just got finished kissing a frat boy. If you have a frat boy boyfriend and you're not in a sorority he's probably getting on me when you're not around. I like getting on other people's boyfriends. It makes me feel really good about myself. I am prettier than you, I sure as hell dress better than you, and damn it, I'm cooler than you. I’m a sorority bitch. I thought it was hilarious! Even if you're offended, you must admit the salad and chocolate cake thing is funny. And shacking...come on, who doesn't have one or two hilarious "Walk of Shame" stories? |
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I think these things are pretty funny and just laugh at them and like Leslie I have a few things in common with the lists.
Ya gotta be able to laugh at yourself :) hehe |
Oh, I agree with laughing at yourself. Definitely. No need to get all huffy and puffy over little things! :D When searching for "I am a sorority girl" thingy, I did not expect this. I guess I was expecting a better portrayal. Ha!
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for example, a friend of mine earlier this year walked across campus at a time of day when lots of people were going to class wearing stilettos, purple NU track pants, a yellow north face fleece over a tube top, and carrying a tiny bar purse. There was just no missing her and just no missing what kind of a walk she was taking... |
I hate to admit it, I definitely know girls who fit this to a T. Some are in my house, some aren't even in sororities (but talk bad about girls who are in sororities).
I can safely say that I've never been on the "Walk of Shame". Part of it was my group (most of my central circle of friends aren't Greek and don't do the bar/fraternity party hookup thing), and the other part of it was that I started dating AlphaChiBoy (tee hee) second semester freshman year, so I didn't get to experience that scene. My campus is so small that everyone would see me walk across the green separating the fraternities from the sororities, so maybe that's another deterrent. :D |
Kinda impossible to do the walk of shame at a commuter campus. However it's always fun to:
while ur hookup boy is in the shower, walk downstairs to put on ur zippy and shoes, and run into his fraternity brother roomate. That's walk of shame enuff for me. Or when you're dropping off some of the guys that crashed at ur sister's house, and a bunch of the guys are outside of the fraternity house. This leads to whispers, questions, and sometimes rumors. |
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this is sooooooo true at my school. you always hear a theta saying "hey baby." there is 6 of them i would see on a daily basis, and they always called me "baby"... |
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I call almost everyone "Babe" b/c I just happen to be really bad with names!
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Huh. I'm not really offended by this or anything, but it was just so different from my Greek experience that I didn't find it really funny, either. What is this thing with bootleg pants? Is this something new since I graduated in '98?
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I thought these were hilarious! Hell, I'm 30 years old and I fit most of them!!!! In my day, it would have been more like this:
I am a sorority bitch. My daddy is loaded and my mom taught me everything I know. I have lots of Daddy's credit cards. I use them in J. Crew, The Limited, and the men's Polo department at Dillard's. I wear lots of Polo.....everything I own has that little f*cking horse on it. Even my scrunchie white socks that I wear with my Bass bucs. I wear gold jewelry.....lots of it. I have big gold hoop earrings that look so sophisticated when my hair is all slicked back in my big bitch bow. I have lots of bitch bows and I have hair scrunchies in every imaginable color and pattern. I buy plaid grosgrain ribbon at the sewing store to make hairbows out of too. They match the letters on my sorority sweatshirt and my bitch bag. I have a killer tan......I go tanning at least once a week, sometimes more. I leave parties at midnight to make my tanning appointment, then come back. I have a cool car. It's a Nissan/Toyota/Acura/Jeep Wrangler/VW Cabriolet Convertible. Daddy bought it for me. I have a CD player in my car (installed aftermarket of course.) I carry a different Coach purse with every outfit, and I carry them to class. I carry them to fraternity parties and I lock them in the room of the guy I plan to shack with. We go to bars and drink Hudy Delight and this really cool new drink called Zima. We like to dance to "Jump Around" by House of Pain and "Jump" by Kriss Kross. We have to be able to laugh at ourselves.......I think if we admit it, all of us see at least SOMETHING of ourself in those!!!!! :) |
This is so funny. I know that this really isn't true, but I have been told by non-Greeks that this is how they think of us.-- "And oh my god, I am sooo still a virgin. It's still moral if its oral. I talk really loud on my cell phone so that everyone knows what I did last night and all about the exchange that is planned for tonight and how I was so drunk, gee I hope my six inch layer of makeup that was plastered to my face lasted after all that puking. What would I do with out my sisters to hold my hair back? (And my sisters are great for me to compare myself to, so that I realize how much more realistic my fake boobs look, compared to hers.) This isn't really true, but oh well. |
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I knew that my sorority sisters were my best friends the night I drank way too much and my best friend stuck her finger down my throat so I would puke and then my three girls took care of me all night long... and apparently I was swearing at them and fighting their help the whole way!
Oh, the bonds of sisterhood... |
we had an elon sorority girl one....
I am an Elon Sorority girl. Everymorning I get up, walk to my house, or kick my frat boyfriend out so I can get ready for class. I shower, makeup, and dress appropriately for the time of day class it is. If it is an 8am class, that is the only time it is acceptable to wear a greek week t-shirt or formal t-shirt to class, unless it is the week of rush. You only ever wear your letters on Wednesday, when all the greeks wear your letters, and you should only ever wear your letters with bootcut dark jeans, khakis, or black pants. Nothing else is acceptable. After my 8am class, I go back to the house to wait for my sisters so we can go to lunch. I can not go to lunch with anyone other than my sisters, and we all have to go together, and at least one of us is wearing an "110%" pin or an "I love" pin, so everyone will know who we are. For lunch, we all eat salads, a diet coke, and lofat frozen yogurt. We take bagels back to the house so noone will see us eating carbs. At lunch, we talk about other sorority girls and how much we don't like them and our frat boyfriends. If it's nice out, I don't go to my afternoon classes. I will go sun myself by the lake in my bikini, or on the back deck of the house will all my other sister's who have cut class. Frat boys will come talk to us. We will flirt and giggle. For dinner, we all go to West End Station. West End is a bar that serves food. We go there at 4:00 and snicker at all the people who aren't greek that are there. We order artichoke dip and french fries. These are good drinking foods. We begin drinking at 4:00 and continue drinking until the bar gets to crowded or it never picks up. We call our sober sister's to come pick us up, and take us to a fraternity house. Only when you are at a fraternity house can you hang out and be friends with girls in other sororities. But, you stay away from any girl that might be there who is not greek, they are called "GDI"...not "God Damn Independants"...its "God Damn it, I didn't get in". At the fraternity house, we play beer pong, and the older sister's with fraternity boyfriends sit on the back porch and make fun of the girls that are there that aren't in a sorority. we dirty rush the PNM's that are cool and that we like. We diss their friends that aren't cool enough to be in an elon sorority. We stick to our stereotypes. The easier girls from one sorority are hooking up in front of everyone, the pot heads are out back smoking pot, the dorks...well, they aren't there. And then I either go home with a fraternity boy, or invite the fraternity boy to come home with me. |
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I get my pictures back from exchanges and dances, stand with my sisters in a crowded area of school and cry out things like "Oh my god! I don't even remember taking that picture!" and "(name of sister standing with you), how drunk were we in this one?!"
My world crumples when I have lost my black eyeliner. During serenades, my popularity is at risk, seeing which fraternity will give me the most flowers in chapter in front of my sisters. I have to work out the day of social events to account for the alcohol calories I will be consuming that night. I go to get my hair highlighted at the same place as all my sisters do. Freshman year, when I visit my other pledge sisters in the dorms, I leave white board messages signed "ZLAM, PPL, ITB etc..." When a sister goes tanning, I ask her who was working that day. Oh, Kristi? I LOOVE HER. She is SOOO CUTE! When I go tanning, I show everyone(especially guys) the little sticker imprint to show how dark I got. If I had a bad day, I would sacrifice a day of food expense for a manicure or a new Abercrombie top. But also... I have learned to be very diplomatic in the intense politics of greek life. I have grown more compassionate with every philanthropy. I love children. I will drag my hung over nasty self out of bed on a Saturday morning to work a food drive or a humane shelter... and I will have an incredible time with my girls. |
Funny letters. Especially Derby days t-shirt.
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"I will drag my hung over nasty self out of bed on a Saturday morning to work a food drive or a humane shelter... and I will have an incredible time with my girls."
I wish critics of Greek life could witness this (well, we'd be hungover and gross-looking, but that's besides the point. ;) ) I was so incredibly hungover for "Service Saturday" but still dragged myself over there as my roomates laid out. And I've seen my sisters slave over so many worthwhile causes while other people can't imagine us doing anything but hooking up and drinking. And hello...DANCE MARATHON! 'Nuff said. |
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This one is way true. I swear all of us could be a US Senator now with all the skills we garnered - both in house and out... I can diffuse ANY situation between brothers. You may call me Kofi Annan. I am the UN. |
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