FOR GREEKS - Biggest Mistake?
 

To help those out who are seeking membership, did you ever do anything during your quest that you realize now was not appropriate? Trying to be tactful and helpful but not disrespectful sometimes is not an easy thing to do. I receive PM's and e-mails from some asking questions, making statements, etc. that they should not!

One thing that I did that I regret is that I had the nerve to call my Basileus and ask her for specific dates, etc. because I was tired of waiting :rolleyes:

What would you tell an interest not to do?

Never tell other Greeks you are going to "pledge" XYZ. You would be amazed how fast word travels. lol

Sorhors and sisterfriends,

I always tell my senior students in high school the very same thing (Never tell folks that you want to be a member of XYZ) Some listen however, many don't and then they come back to me look very sad because they didn't listen and their dream didn't come true!

The moral of the story is keep your business to yourself!

Serioussigma22:cool:

*******

I know of an interest who called our Dean of Intake the night before we emerged to ask her should she come over and learn the steps...we were like um, is she going to learn everything about the organization overnight?...I think the one thing you cannot stress enough to interests is to be DISCREET, don't be telling everyone and their momma you're interested in XYZ (or worse, tell them you're going to pledge it), and this includes, at least for my organization, wearing a shirt with a big butterfly in lavender or Carolina blue to our table in the union or our carwashes and whatnot.
Also, picking and choosing which events to attend that we co-sponsor-it's always easiest to show up to one of our parties, but much more meaningful to show up to community service projects or educational seminars. Also helps us remember their face.
Another thing I've seen that interests do is when we can't put a name to their face they get offended...??!!!!

I wish I had RELAXED.

All the Alphas in my chapter were very chill men and I was probably too uptight around them.

Hmmm...I already like the comments in this thread. :) I have one for REAL. Please do not say that you couldn't get into xyz NPC sorority so you'll "try one of the other sororities" just so you can say you're Greek. (No, we're not talking about another NPC - we're talking about one of those sororities that are not "real" like the NPC.) :o :eek: WHY would you think that's an intelligent thing to say? Word does travel and you have just blackballed yourself. (I'm almost embarassed for the child.)

We had two girls who were really good friends come in and talked to each other the entire time. We had to double rush (take in two girls each) since we had a smaller chapter and they ended up being together. Anyway, the entire time they held a discussion about whether they wanted to be Kappas or Thetas. In the middle of OUR party they were trying to figure this out. Any time the girl who had them asked them a question, they would just roll their eyes and answer rudely. My advice, dont' be a Bit*h just because you don't like a chapter.
http://www.baylorfans.com/forums/image

excuse the hijack...did they go Kappa or Theta or did they get booted altogether??

I have a quick question. I was emailed by the chapter advisor and tod that there would be a community service event next week, that I could go to. She told me to call her but I am nervous to do so. I guess im just scary b.c im wondering what time should I call or even the day. She seems nice though. When should I call her?

You could email her back and politely ask what time is a good time to call. I know it's scary, but don't forget your common sense in the process! :D

You can do it! :)

mistake
 

I guess you could say that a mistake that I had was being so scared. Scared to truly show interest because it might not be the most discrete way:rolleyes: At informationals I would walk around to all the tables so that no one would know which organization I was interested in. (Althought that could be kinda smart) I was scared to tell my DP that I was interested... and didnt know when to do it either. I would just tell anyone interested chill... some stuff doesnt even matter that much! But let the Ladies know because you do have to be INVITED...

Honestly, can't say I made any mistakes cause' I kept my mission covert:p I did what I was supposed to do and that was show up to (comm. service) events and keep quiet. Actually, now that I think about it, on my induction day, I had a non-greek friend drop me off which was a mistake because he wanted to know what happend. I told him "If you really want to know, join a fraternity." After he realized I wasn't joking, he got mad.

Ummm I don't think I made a mistake either. I guess if I had to do something again i think I would've attended some more of the chapter events. I remember one time one of the sorors asked me to come out and support one of their events but i totally chickened out. I mean that's not really a mistake as much as something i wish i could go back in time and change.

Things an interest should never do!!
 

OK I have been having an ongoing conversation with a co-worker for the past 2 years who is interested in ABC sorority. This might help some of you out there who are interested in whatever sorority/fraternity. EVEN ON THE GRAD LEVEL FOLKS SHOULD JUST SHUT THEIR MOUTHS AND BE DISCRETE AND "make yourself small" Don't talk so much. Follow this cause I'm going to give it to you in bits as I have conversated with her in the past 2years.

I walked into her classroom with my lunchbag with my letters on it. She looked at it and said "Sigma Gamma Rho", OH NO!!. I said,

"well what are you?"

"Well, it would have been ABC sorority when I was at such and such university but they were suspended. that was over 10 years ago but I will be joining a grad chapter in the area soon."



More to follow...

Sorhor Bluereign,

Wow! Why do people do that when they aren't anything and it might not even happen. I can't believe that a grown adult opened up her mouth and inserted her foot.

Serioussigma22


I'm waiting for the rest of the continuing story. . .!

Ya think grown folk would know better, but...
 

I have had a woman who I KNEW didn't have nobody's degrees, nor was she in college (had dropped out a few years ago) tell me how she was on line for an NPHC sorority grad chapter (all big and bad), and I was like, uh, okay, and left it alone. I could have made some calls and busted folk out, but it wasn't that serious. I ain't seen no pins or no letters since that "line" experience, but I just let that go.

You'd be surprised how many supposed grown folk don't handle business better than that.

I'm stayin tuned to see if ol girl from BlueReign's job works out though, cause I'm messy :)

Continuing..

"I feel that I am ABC material and I know what they are looking for and I fit the description."

I didn't say anything. I just let her run her mouth.

A few weeks later I am in a teacher workshop and meet 3 FABULOUS women. We have lunch and have a FAB4 pow-wow and just discussing what schools we have worked in etc. The one from ABC sorority says that she knows a teacher in my building that was at her school last year and that she hopes that she is ok now cause she was very difficult and always had a complaint about something. She said she was also always bothering me about when my chapter was going to have "another line". She never bothered to ask about any events she could attend, etc.

The next day I ask the teacher that I work with if she knew the lady. Oh she piped up and said "Yes, I'm going to be joining her chapter soon!" I started to say "that aint what I heard." I just let it go for then.


Stay tuned.

Sorhors,

I'm still blown away by the attitudes and behaviors of some or shall I say a few grown women. Bluereign this story is extremely interesting please continue. . . .

Serioussigma22:cool:

No, it's not just you!!! Tee hee hee :)

Continuing...
 

Some time after our initial conversation we're walking in the hallway after school and I asked her why did she want to be a member of ABC?

Her response: "Because they are known for being ___________ and that's what I am -- a ______________."

(insert negative stereotype in above blank)

And she was as serious as a heart attack.

Then she added, "And I don't want to do all that other stuff they have to do as members. I just want my letters."

That was last spring and I think a part of my jaw is still somewhere on that hallway floor.

We continue to talk and I ask her if she was acquainted with the few women in the building who are members of ABC. She states that she doesn't like any of them and would never talk to them about membership. I ask her if she would consider talking through with them over any misunderstandings that she had. (I had issues with one of the ladies myself).

But just for the response that she gave to my question was enough for me to think through for a whole weekend as to what my response would be cause I honestly did not know what to say to this dummy. When I responded (for those of you who know me) I wasn't as "pleasantly blunt" as I am known to be.

I'll be back later with my response cause I know all those who are reading this thread could use it!!;)

Kappa, but they were like, what the hell, ADPi cut us?!

Re: Continuing...
 

Oh my goodness!!!! Now you are wrong for leaving us hanging (especially those of us who know you :) )!!! I have been reading this thread and visualizing your responses, and I have been straight ROFL, Robin!!! Tee hee hee...

Sorhor Bluereign,

God willing, I'm gonna hunt you down during the Midwinter conference and I want the entire story and don't leave anything out. You know that we are all hanging and checking out the message board just to find out the end result of this woman's quest for her very strange version of sisterhood.


Serioussigma22:cool:

All I can say is that she's unbelievable!

Re: Continuing...
 

:eek:

:rolleyes:

My biggest mistake was not spending enough time working on one of my projects while I was going through my process. Well, I learned quickly that the "shortcuts" weren't worth it b/c the next week I had a new project, AND I had to re-do the old one. I actually have both of the times somewhere in my home where I can see them regularly. It keeps me humble and reminds me that the short way isn't always the best way.;)

And the story continues...
 

Got a quick break here so I'll tell you all who have been anxiously awaiting

MY RESPONSE:

What do you mean that you don't want to do any of that "stuff" they do. You just want your letters?! In the future be very, very cautious who you talk to and what you say. DON'T YOU EVER TELL A DUES PAYING ACTIVE MEMBER OF ANY GREEK LETTER ORGANIZATION THAT FOOLISHNESS! Don't you know that if I didn't like you that I could black ball you?

"Well how could you do that. You're a Sigma Gamma Rho."

And you are right about that. You don't think that we talk to each other? At any given community service event almost all of the D9 show up. We network. We have the NPHC. WE TALK!! I know members of ABC in different chapters in the area that are directly involved in membership for their respective chapters. All it takes is one phone call. The world is too small for what you said to me. And why not try to establish a positive line of communication with the members you work with first. What if you showed up at one of their chapter's events. You think they would have anything favorable to say about you concerning your interest in membership?

And further more if you are dating a man who was a member of any fraternity and you let that crap come out of your mouth it may make the difference as to whether he will take you seriously because he knows that you will never fully understand the depth of his commitment and time obligations to his fraternity.

"Well I thank you for telling me that but I don't have to pledge here in this area. It is my goal for '05. And I will make it in by '05. I'm just that determined. Even if I have to go to Texas."

And Sorors and friends who are reading this, I had nothing to say after that. The old term "6 degrees" doesn't even apply in the greek world. It's more like 2 degrees. Even in Texas. In the words of Fred Sanford -- I had to keep this to myself --- YOU BIG DUMMY!!:mad:

What an idiot!
 

I really want to believe this is a sick joke, because no one could be this stupid. At least I thought they could not be.

You are right. The D9 world is very small, and we do talk to each other. I think non-members get caught up on the perceived rivalries. Hmph. Many of us belong to the same churches and other civic/social organizations.

I hope this young lady heeds your words. You were very nice with her, more than she deserved. Otherwise, she is in for a very rude awakening no matter where she goes. I just hope she doesn't come to Florida. None of our organizations need dead weight.

:eek:

Wow.
 

That's all I have to say about that. You really helped her out by telling her that. I hope she heeded your advice instead of shooting her mouth off (like she did when you first told her - a classic dumb move, if you ask me. Don't nobody care if she go to Texas, like ain't no sorors who know people in her org over there) You know the three ways of communication: telephone, telegraph and tell a black woman :) . And I truly think our two degrees are more like one and a half sometimes :)

You handled that with class and she acted like a big dummy. I hope she handles her other personal matters with a bit more finesse. :)

Sistergreek BlueReign, I hope you keep us updated on this story! That is very interesting!! Something to think about...

Wouldn't you agree?

Sorhor Bluereign,

This woman really needs to get a clue. I really think that she doesn't believe that we all communicate and she's gonna end up remaining an independent. Please keep us updated about this very colourful person.


Serioussigma22:cool:

One things I almost didn't do was to actuually make contact. I didn't know how to go about it. Luckily, one soror who was in grad chapter at the time, was so nice and helpful and pointed me in the right direction. Without that I would have been too scared. The whole process of declaring interest seemed so sensitive; one wrong move and you could be done before you even began lol. The only person I was close to that was greek at the time was a part of a reactivation line, so she didn't have to go through the "normal" procedures.


I think that sometimes we become almost too untouchable. I've seen and heard of people looking down on anyone that asks them questions or declares interest. I think a lot of people just don't know the right way to go, and being just an inch more helpful would make all the difference in the world. I know that that soror that helped me really drove home the fact that this organization was where I needed to be. :D

I understand that sometimes people just want to know how to become a part of an organization, but sometimes people who are interested in a Greek organization need to employ Tact and common sense in their conversation with members.

Most sorors I know have no problem with a person asking how one becomes a Sigma Gamma Rho, but we do have a problem with a person who will show up asking when the next line is when she has no community service and no record of genuine interest in our org. Even then, most of us would politely tell the person how she can learn more about what we do.

You will always have members of orgs who feel the need to make gladiators out of aspirants, but sometimes aspirants need to meet the rest of us half way. That doesn't mean kissing butt. It just means approaching members about the sorority with seriousness and respect. "When's the next line?" is not seriousness and respect. :)

Sorhor TRSimon,

Your words are so true. Folks you have to use common sense and actively; but in a tactful way, research the organization, do your community service projects, attend the functions, have patience and wait for that organization to take it from there.


P.S. If the organization doesn't select you don't become one of the following:

A stalker
A psychotic person
Annoying to the members
A whinier to others (Your signficant other, friends and family members)
Don't try to latch onto another organization
And don't badmouth the organization because maybe you're not ready for membership.
Remember that membership into a D-9 organization is a luxury, a serious financial obligation and a lifelong commitment.


Serioussigma22:cool:

Re: What an idiot!
 

This should be a joke because I am still amazed at this woman. There is more to it. I just ignore her now.

I don't know why people think and act the way they do.:confused:

Bluereign,

She would be on my avoid at all cost list. I do hope that she realizes the error of her ways and grows up real soon.

Serioussigma22:cool:

crashing!!

My biggest regret was 1.) not being outgoing enough during recruitment. No one in my family is Greek and I live in the Northeast, so I was really just rushing on a whim and didnt know how I was supposed to act! I also just dressed waaay too casually.

My #2 regret is making it a point of conversation to tell every sister of every house that I was going through rush with my best friend of 10 years/roommate and her name. And that we decided NOT to join the same house under any circumstances (we do everything else together!!!) Well, my friend is THE ultimate rush crush (not that I'm bad by any means, but she's the recruiters dream, gorgeous, outgoing, well-rounded, etc) so I really think I was cut by houses who wanted her and didnt want to lose her because of our agreement. But I ended up where Im supposed to be, which 4 years later I still tell rushees "You go where you're meant to be...it really just happens!" And my friend quit her sorority a year later!