The Greek Legacy
 

Everyone that joins a Greek Letter Organization would loved to see a family member choose their organization to continue the legacy. What are your opinions on this matter, and what has been your experience as well?

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Imagine the miracles we would see if we just had a little Faythe!

It is funny because a friend and I spoke about this as we were having lunch today. He is a Nupe and for some people it is very important to keep the family tradition of joining the same org. I said that as long as my children PLEDGE one of the great eight (PLEASE, NO DISRESPECT TO ANYONE, IT IS JUST MY WISH) I would ba happy. If they want to do something else, then I will be as supportive as I can. Maybe what made me want to join my org. they will see in another one. My friend said that his son better be a Nupe but, he then added that he plans on being so a good role model and make sure his children are around positive Nupes, so that hiw son grows up wanting to become a part of it. My niece does my sign and call- I cannot wait for her to goto high school and invite her, NOT FORCE HER to become a Rhoer. After that, it is her choice.

Ghostface,
Just a question to pick with you a little (just outta fun). BUT.....what if your child joins the one that you don't recognize? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I would be honored if my brother joined my fraternity... too bad there's no chapter at his future school! My Grandfather was in Triangle and my Uncle in Beta, but other than that no men in my family are members of GLOs. My Mom is in ADPi though.

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andrew watters
Theta Chi – ucla

My Grandfather on my Dads side told me once he was a phi sigma kappa or that he was in a fraternity that changed to phi sigma kappa. His college was in Mizzouri. Mizzou, I think. My Uncle on my Mom's side is a Phi Delt from U of Maryland and his wife is a Delta Zeta from U of Maryland. One of their sons, One of my cousines rushed a fraternity at UVA this spring but I'm not totally sure. He did mention it at our holiday get together. I have one younger brother who graduated from VCU. never went Greek. I understand because its not for everyone. My sister-in-law was with Alpha Gamma Delta I think at VCU but then she went inactive and graduated. Not sure if shes considered a member or not. If I had a son or daughter. I would love it if they did rush a greek organization. I think its a great experience. It would be even better if I had a son who rushed Beta, but then I would support him no matter what he decided to do.

Kevin Mullinix
Beta Theta Pi Alum
Epsilon Mu Chapter
George Mason University

[This message has been edited by kmullini (edited May 21, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by kmullini (edited May 21, 2000).]

Gypsy: I never said I don't recognize a particular org. As I said If my child wants to be part or XYZ org., I would be supportive, but I would prefer for him/her to pick one of the Great Eight-
Maybe what I saw in my org. she will see in another one.
Hope I answer your ?

Most of the women in my family are DST with a few AKA's. The men are Q's and a couple of Kappas. If I have kids I would prefer that they choose: boy--APhiA or KAPsi and for the girl--DST or AKA. None of my immediate family members are greek (mom, dad, bro, sis) but lots of cousins, aunts, uncles and so forth.

My sister just pledged in the fall of '99. Phi Beta (my GLO) doesn't have a chapter on her campus, and as an arts-centered fraternity I don't think it was exactly what she would have joined anyways.

I would have loved to have her join my GLO, but was just as happy to see her join one that she is happy with. When she was rushing + then pledging (I'm not sure what they call their intake process now) I did find myself studying up on her GLO quite a bit, and I think she made a good decision going greek.

To my knowledge, we are the only members of GLO's on either side of our family. And sure, I would love for other members (future or current) to join my GLO, or any GLO. But if they didn't I would be okay with that, too.

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SilverTurtle@greekchat.com
Phi Beta Fraternity
Phi chapter

Thanx Ghostface!!
But you have brought up a good topic. It's good that you are giving your child the free will to do what she wants (I think you said she), but what about those who push their children to do certain things. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I agree with GFK. I have a daughter that I would love to be a part of my organization when she goes to college. Hopefully she will learn from me and her "aunts".

As far as those that "push" their children, I think that all greek parents try to persuade their children to one day become a part of their organization. But personally speaking, I will respect my child's wishes in whatever organization she chooses and support her. I would want her to someday be my soror because it is something that is in her heart rather than something she feels I forced her to do.

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>>>"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised... Proverbs 31:29-30

I myself would only choose for my daughter to pledge one of the African-American sororities
that exist in today.I myself hope to one day pledge with the ladies of pink&green but my very best friend plans on pledging DST and she of course wants her to pledge that but I say what ever makes her happy

Well no one so far seems to share my view...I'd rather any of my legacies not join my org.

Here's my reasons:
Hopefully I'll be close enough to them that I don't feel like I NEED to be her "sister" to be connected and close.

I kind of like the fact that my sorority offers me a SEPERATE family from my real one.

I want them to experience thier own ritual and sisterhood.

If they ever deactivate or are expelled I couldn't help but take it a little personally that they'd be rejecting or are rejected from my org. Even though I'd have sense enough to know better.

Plus I'd hate for them to feel like they only got accepted because they were a leg. I have sisters that never mentioned that they were legacies of various glos because they didn't want that to happen.

Of course if they did join my glo that would be okay. I would just not try to push it at all.

Socalgirl: I don't think anyone mentioned that they want their siblings to join their respective org. in order to feel closer to them- If anyone sees a GLO as a mean to close the gap with their kid, then that is very sad. I do not think anyone of us would NEED our kids to join our org. for that reason.

GFK: you said Great Eight, not Divine Nine.

Why? Just curious and confused...

Sal

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@~~^~~~~
Subtlety is the key ;o)

As a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. and being the woman I am, I would hope that any daughters and sons born to me will become ZETAS and SIGMAS respectively. I am just that biased. Especially if they're asking ME for new member fees. My money is ROYAL BLUE AND WHITE. If they secure their own funds, they can decide otherwise.

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Sweet Deliverance's PHI-losophy:
"What you do or do not do today determines what you can or cannot do tomorrow."

I said Great Eight because that is what I said in my originalmessage. I don't know much about them- I DID TRY TO INFORM MYSELF ABOUT THIS ORG. But the information I found in the book THE DIVINE was not of much help- I have other reasons. E-mail private if you want- I do not disrespect Iotas, but I amsooo used to say Great Eights- When I was on, I HAD to learn info about everybody else, meaning Great 8. Also, since I do not know any Iotas, I do not have a particular image of them- Saw many of them in Philly- But I am not impressed enough to want my child to pursue it.
I seriouly apologize if I have disrespected anyone- If anyone can share some knowledge- Please do so.
Peace

Legacy>Well of course, I would want my child to follow in my footsteps. However, if they decide to go another way, even after I brainwash them ( http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gifjoke!), then who am I to object?

GFK>Iota Phi Theta's website has the basic info on them. I went there and thought it was pretty informative. The address is http://wwww.iotaphitheta.org

As long as my children go greek they can join any organization that they want to. Although organizations are different they all strive to create a better person. The important thing is that they go greek.

Wonder,

If your children don't want to or just don't go greek will this sadden or dissapoint you?

SoCal girl, I respect your feelings, but I am confused about a part of your quote.

My original quote:

I will respect my child's wishes in whatever organization she chooses and support her. I would want her to someday be my soror because it is something that is in her heart rather than something she feels I forced her to do.


[QUOTE]Originally posted by SoCalGirl:

Hopefully I'll be close enough to them that I don't feel like I NEED to be her "sister" to be connected and close.

Were you just speaking personally, or in reference to what we have stated?
My terminology of "soror" was used in reference to her someday joining my sorority. It made no mention of needing her to be a soror to be connected and close nor did any of the other replies. I should hope that parents and their children already have a special bond.



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>>>"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised... Proverbs 31:29-30

I would strongly urge my son (nephew, grandson, cousin, etc.) to join a fraternity, as I feel it's one of the best decisions I ever made. However, I would want him to pledge the fraternity that he likes the best and is most comfortable with. That does not necessarily have to be my chapter. For example, if he went to a school where the chapter of my fraternity was not very good--low membership, low grades, etc.--then of course I wouldn't push him to join there.

SoCal, I know exactly what you mean! I would want my daughter (if I ever have one) to go Greek - but I almost would rather she went to a campus where my org was not, so there wouldn't be any pressure, from me or from the chapter there.
A girl in our chapter pledged because her mom was a sister. She's a nice girl and I'm glad she's part of us, but sometimes I just wish I could feel a little more like it was totally her decision. Her mom really seemed to push it. I guess I could be judgemental about that, but the thing is, I think it would be hard NOT to do even if you tried.

What is the "great eight"? Just curious.

DCGirl>The Great Eight refers to the 8 traditional organizations that used to compose the NPHC. In 1996 another organization was added and now the term used is the Divine Nine. For more info on these 9 check out: http://www.nphc.org

ZetaAce



[This message has been edited by ZetaAce (edited May 22, 2000).]

SoCal: being a legacy doesn't necessarily mean that ur in. not all orgs have that policy. and those that do can decide whether or not they want it to be known.

I'd be so happy if one of my sisters chose to persue my sorority...but they're not interested in ANY sorority. I don't believe in pushing Delta on anybody...It's something you have to want for yourself. As far as my future offspring are concerned I'd be supportive of any decision they make.

I'm starting to feel a little woozy as I sit here, imagining my yet to be conceived daughter in another NPHC sorority http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

GFK & TickledPink:

"Hopefully I'll be close enough to them that I don't feel like I NEED to be her "sister" to be connected and close."

Sorry about the confusion but I wasn't refering to a previous post. This is my feeling based on what I've personally seen.

Some girls in my chapter were initially snubbed by thier mom's for months because they pledged a different GLO. That was heartbreaking to witness.
Also I've seen our advisors get so excited when a new legacy is born because "when she grows up mother and daughter will share our 'special bond'". That has always made be think that it would be so sad if you had to be your daughter's "sister" to feel bonded to her.


HARLEMGIRL-
Your post:"SoCal: being a legacy doesn't necessarily mean that ur in. not all orgs have that policy. and those that do can decide whether or not they want it to be known."

My post:"Plus I'd hate for them to feel like they only got accepted because they were a leg. I have sisters that never mentioned that they were legacies of various glos because they didn't want that to happen."

THE KEY WORDS HERE ARE "FEEL LIKE"! As in to BELIEVE BUT NOT KNOW FOR SURE! New members wouldn't really find out until after they were initated what the policy is. Since I'm in a GLO I know that this rarely is actually what happens. And OBVOUSLY I'd know if this was my org's policy or not! Plus I have NEVER said what GLO I am in. So how exactly am I "letting it be known" what the policy is?

SoCalgirl, thanks for clarification.

One of our chapter consultants is having her mom initiated as an alum (whether the mom is going to do jack squat for the sorority, who knows) and she "is so excited because now we'll share that special bond!"

All I could think was, good Lord, woman....you were in her WOMB for 9 months...wasn't that bond enough???

SoCal...I can't believe that a mother would actually snub her OWN DAUGHTER over this!!! How shallow is that? Yes my GLO means a lot to me...but I would never put it above the happiness of my own flesh and blood! You have no idea how sorry I feel for those girls!!!

unfortunately, it happens. when i first crossed, i said that my daughter (when i have one) BETTER pledge DST or don't pledge at all. i've grown up a little since then and i realize that my daughter(s) are no different than anyone else, she'd have to make that decision for herself. if she chooses something other than DST, i will love her and support her emotionally regardless. financially, however, she's on her own UNLESS she is in a SEVERE jam. My money is going to one organization only.

Zetaace: Thanks for the info. But.... See, I always found that by reading one cannever make a choice as of what org. tojoin. I would like to get to knw diff. members from diff. chapters- I would like to read updated info about them as well- I am sorry but I need to be impressed- I am just being honest-

I also pledged the same sorority that my Mother, and Aunt's were sisters of.
I suppose it was a natural choice on my part--I had no urge to be a part of the other sororites on campus.

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Http://www.geocities.com/hotformulab...o_my_world.htm – Michelle's World

I would be happy if a relative of mine (particularly a daughter) chose to pursue the same goals as I do, if it's what she wants. The worst think I could imagine is if A.S.K. is something she (hypothetical daughter) pursued because she felt that mom did it, so she has to. I would think if the yearning is not sincere, a true sisterly bond couldn't form, and might even jeapordize the relationship already in place.

I think my chapter will be faced with the legacy question for the first time this fall - one of my Sister's younger sister is interested in pledging her candidacy. It'll be interesting to see how the sisters handle it!

I do not believe that a person should be able to ride in on momma's or sister's coat strings. I am a delta and if my sister or daughter wants to be something else that is fine with me. If she wants to one day cross those burining sands then that is wonderful. But not everyone is cut out to be a Delta, so if she wasn't about the public service then she wouldn't get my vote or support. Greek life should be an aspect of your life.....it should not be the only thing your life is about. So I wouldn't pressure my sister or my child to do something she wasn't ready for or couldn't handle.

I pledged the sorority that my mom was a part of, and I am so HAPPY with my choice. She didn't pressure me, but when it came down to it, how could I persue another org. when all I wanted to be was right in front on me? I want to be a strong, humble, beautiful woman full of knowlegde, I wanted to be an AKA. You can never know how happy I was at my neophyte show when I was able to send an ear piercing, ground shaking, glass shattering Skeeee-Weeee to my mom--correction, my new SOROR!

My aunt is a prestigious member of Zeta Phi Beta, since my mother or grandmother are not affiliated with thi org. am I a legacy?

My husband is a Que and I am a Delta. We are expecting a little one and I'm certain that this topic will arise (years from now). We would absolutely LOVE for our child to become a member of our organizations and would fully support them financially if they choose to do so. On the other hand, if they choose to join another organization, I might be a little upset intially but I will respect their decision. They WILL have to foot that bill themselves, though! My husband...I dont know...he's already trying to find some baby boots that he can paint GOLD!!!

Congratulations, 1derful!

If your husband is anything like mine when I was expecting, he's gonna buy those boots. LOL! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Once their minds are set.....that's it, girl!

May you have a beautiful, HEALTHY baby! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

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Sincerity, Loyalty, Unity

gypsy: I will be extremely disappointed if my children dont wish to go greek. I expect them to at least check out the greek organizations on their campus. If they don't find an organization that they are comfortable with I will accept and support their desicion. However, I do want them to at least check out the organizations on their campus. I think that greek life adds a whole new level of learning that you can not get in the classs rooms, or other organizations. True other types of organizations add to your learning experience but a greek organization adds in different ways. (Im not saying other organizations are bad by any means, I just want the greek experience to also be a part of my childrens lives).

typically, a legacy is the daughter or sister of a member. nieces and cousins are not necessarily considered a legacy. but you should check with a Zeta to be sure.