Greek affiliation in wedding announcements...
 

Okay. This is bugging me. In the Houston Chronicle, it is a very big deal to announce your wedding and inlcude your greek affiliation. That's all wonderful and everything...

So why do people always have "Attended the University of Texas and was a member of Chi Omega..." or whatever? *WAS* a member? That gives me issues.

I can't stand it when people think that their sorority or fraternity was for 4 years of good times. I *AM* a Delta Zeta, and I always will be...

There, can you tell I'm PMSing hardcore?

Lol, I LOVE reading the Houston Chronicle weddings on Sundays!! Drives Mr. XO_Princess crazy though....

Anyhoo, you're right, most do say WAS. I have seen some though say IS. People probably don't think when they write out their announcements.

I am not even putting an ad in the chronicle. I am only submitting one for the Southbelt-Ellington Leader. That's the one that people in my area read as far as looking for wedding announcements. And there will likely be one in the Rapid City paper as well since his mom lives there. If the Chronicle was cheap, I'd do it, but I am not paying 1000 bucks for strangers to know that I will be married, where I went to school and that we're greek. I don't care what they think...but I will continue to read the announcements.

Just a thought: I am moving to New England after I get married...Do they do the same thing in their papers, greek info?

I had to check that out after this post. I find it very amusing that they put greek affiliations in the announcement. I've never seen one like that in Michigan. I've also never seen so many girls have Vera Wang gowns in one paper either!

You should have seen a couple of weeks ago when the debs were in the wedding section...

It is sometimes in our annoucements down here too. But I never thought it was strange. I would put it in if he was Greek too, I think that's super cute.

Also, when women say they were XYZ, that bugs me SO much!

I think I would want it to read" where she became a member od Kappa Delta Sorority....not where she was a Kappa Delta..."

New England
 

Hey dzsaigirl:

I am originally a Southerner who moved to New England (Boston), and I've never seen greek affiliations in the wedding annoucements up here.

Everything is a little more low-key on the social aspect than the South...many people don't even know what fraternities and sororites are around here! It definately isn't something you hear or see alot about.

Where in New England are you moving?

Interesting! Where I went to h.s., I used to type wedding announcements for the local paper, so I know that a) people couldn't write their own and b) if you put your Greek affiliation down, they wouldn't print it anyway. But listings were free. Here in Seattle, I don't know if anyone puts wedding listings in the paper at all, and it they do they're just paid ads.

DZSaigirl-
Hah ha! I saw the one with the debs in it...just rolled my eyes and kept on reading....but you're right-it is so freaking expensive to place your ads!! Mr. XO_Princess and I were looking at the rates and having coronaries...but, I'll probably wind up announcing there anyhoo...along with Dallas and Ft. Worth...ack, the cost makes my blood pressure go up.

Here in my little Southern town, they do put what Greek org and college. I put it in my engagement and wedding announcements in my and hubby's hometowns.

One way to find out if there is a "new" Alpha Gam in town, lol!:)

Oh, putting the sorority in wedding announcements is definitely done here in Georgia, plus I put it in my announcement in the Houston Chronicle over 20 years ago! People put other college activities in their announcements too.

When Hubby and I got married our announcement in the Florida Times Union listed our greek affiliation. I have also seen it in the Tampa Tribune.

Re:Grammar anyone?
 

I understand what you mean in this post, and totally agree that there is a definate need to remember that we are members of our organization for life.

However, looking at it from a completely grammatical view...well it's a very basic rule not to change verb tense (I was taught never to change tense within a paragraph). It looks pretty bad to change tense in one sentance. Therefore since they usually say they attended University of Texas, it only makes sense that they would continue using past tense. Who knows, copy editors may notice it and make the change.

Hope this didn't burst your bubble, but I think it's a decent explanation as to why it occurs.

Actually, that is incorrect! It is perfectly okay to switch tense in a sentence if that gives meaning to it.

"I went to SMU and I have blue eyes" - I didn't have to say I HAD blue eyes, because that still holds true, get it?

The verb tense rule refers to the general tense of a paragraph. Like you can't talk about your day in the past tense for part of the paragraph and then in the present tense in the other half. You just have to be consistent. But that has nothing to do with things that actually DID happen at different times, or when one situation has passed and the other is still happening.

News copy is a bit different than real writing.

I have a book here called the "Broadcast News Handbook" (and I'll grant you it's a bit different from print journalism but I imagine this aspect would be similar.

So sayeth the Broadcast News Handbook:D

"Don't use more than one tense in the same sentence for example, you wouldn't write 'Police arrest a Carrville man and charged him with arson.' You place both verbs in the past tense, but your best bet is to use the present tense with both words (unless the arrest happened some time ago and we're updating the story)."

I hope that helps.

that is exactly the same as my example...You would need to say arrested and charged since both things took place in the past. However if someone WENT to a school but she IS a member of an organization, WENT and IS can be used in the same sentence even though they are of a different tense.

dzsaigirl,
I love reading the wedding announcements in the chronicle. I was going to ask you if you were going to put yours up, but i read that you arent. Is it really $1,000???? :eek: that is ridiculous!!!!

its so funny how almost all the the brides-to-be are members of a sorority. Its actually odd to read one that isnt greek!

OK, actually BOTH of you are right, because you are giving different examples. In the first one, the sentence was: "She went to College X and was a Mu Mu." The second half is not a stand-alone sentence because "was a Mu Mu" does not have a subject in front of the verb. In this case, you probably COULD switch tenses, but it would sound awkward "She went to college X and is a Mu Mu."

But in the second example, where both halves of the sentence have subjects, "I went to College X, and I am a Mu Mu," switching tenses is more natural. However, it makes a longer sentence by repeating the subject, and journalists hate longer sentences than are necessary.

You could just get around all this by saying, "She went to College X, where she joined Mu Mu." (I suppose this leaves open the possibility she was kicked out, but then let's HOPE she isn't mentioning it in her announcement.)

Geez-- do I remember how to post a non-confrontational reply :D

Here in my part of the South, greek affiliation actually is a space provided on the form for wedding announcements. Unfortunately, they still put "...where she was a member of Alpha Chi Omega Fraternity for Women" -- even though I put in huge black lettering "I AM a member of AXO..." and highlighted it.

Our wedding announcements are still free though.

Oh, and they don't do the gown thing here -- they used to like when my parents got married years ago, but not now. Now its:

Mr. and Mrs. announce their daughter to...son of....the bride graduated....and was....the groom....bridesmaids were...groomsmen were...reception given at....rehearsal dinner given at....after a trip to....the couple will live in....

And that's that.

I think the reason people put "attended the university of whatever and was a member of abc sorority" is because yes, they went to that school and while they were there they were a member of abc sorority. now, after graduating they are an abc alumna. i think people who are reading the announcement might see "attended the university of whatever and is a member of abc sorority" will believe you are still in college - even though you dont says "attends". ok it made sense before i started typing and i think i lost myself.

basically i dont think its a huge dishonor to say "was a member"...because in college you were an active member...now afterwards you are an alumna.

FYI,
The Kansas City Star lists Greek Affiliations in wedding annuncements on Sundays as well.

dzsaigirl,

I was just recently married and I included that I am an Alpha Gam. I am from Jacksonville, FL and I annouced it in the Florida Times-Union. However, when the announcement was published THEY changed it to "was". I think this is because it sounds better and makes sense to those who read it and are not greek. I didn't really take offense to it because it happens to everyone. I wanted to include it none the less because I am proud of it. Hope this clears up any confusion.

Erin

In most southern cities they do include the Greek affiliation with the engagement announcements, deb articles, philanthropy activities, etc. Sorority affiliation is definitely a part of the social scene. Whether you are a social buff or not, it puts us in the paper in a favorable light and may contribute to the popularity of sororities in the south.

With regard to "is" or "was" I think its more in reference to whether you are an active member or an alum. My guess is they view being in a sorority as a phase that is associated with being in college. Rightly or wrongly, I can see their reasoning, because there is a difference in the level of involvement when you are an active vs. when you're alum.

I love...
 

...the fact that there are Greeks who acknowledge that we will ALWAYS be an XYZ. It warms my heart! Do your thing dzsaigirl!

I've been reading the Sunday paper / wedding announcements for the past 10 years and I have never seen a mention of greek organization (East Coast paper). But- I did read an obit that mentioned the woman's greek affiliation.

Please let us know when you move out East! We need more greek spirit out here!

Up in the north, this has to be pretty rare. I have never heard of putting your greek affiliation in your wedding announcement. I don't plan on doing it. That's just the way things are up here. The whole "social-scene" is not a common way of life up here, and that's why many of us are surprised. No one says who designed their wedding dress. If people are wealthy they announce their wealth and stature by having an incredible house or car; you wouldn't know it unless you saw this person because people up here don't advertise stuff like this in the paper. The only time I include my affiliation is if I am in the paper for an academic achievement. This whole idea of these wedding announcements is foreign to me, but I think it would be cool to live in an area where this stuff is common. I know that the ways of life are different just from the sheer fact of having an Aunt that is a Zeta from UT Austin, and still lives in Dallas. I hear about all this stuff from her and it just boggles my mind. I am going to have to ask her if she had an announcement printed up and if she included her affiliation.

Oh, and don't waste a grand on a wedding announcement! I can't believe they're not free!! My family and friends will know and that's what's important to me. I guess I may not understand since we don't do this type of thing up here.....but I can't fathom spending that on a blurb in the paper! Pamper yourself and your bridesmaids at a spa or something!:)

I remember reading a wedding announcement that stood out in my mind. It said something like

...the groom graduated Phi Beta Kappa from The College of William and Mary and the bride graduated Phi Mu from the University of Virginia.

No offense to Phi Mu, a GREAT fraternity, but I thought the wording was weird. Kind of like mixing apples and oranges.

DNTKE, yep we in the KS. Mo. area do things right!

Graduated from A U and is a member of XYZ Org.

I for one am not a was member of my Fraternity but am a Member of My Fraternity!

Once again, the middle part of the country prevails for doing the right thing!:)

I for one am proud of what I did and what I am still doing with My Fraternity and will be in my OBIT!:cool:

obsessed...
 

I am wedding obsessed...now I have another paper to search through for fun wedding stuff! As an East Coaster, mommy and I use to read the wedding announcements in the NY Times every Sunday, the whole greek affiliation I never noticed in them and probably wasn't ever there either. Oh well....

btw...only having gone to a few weddings, what's a double ring ceremony??? :confused:

That's where the bride and the groom both have a ring. I guess sometimes the groom doesn't wear one? That's strange to me.

Aren't they all double ring ceremonies?? I've never seen one that wasn't.

You're right that GLO affiliation is often given in the South -- it certainly is in NC. As for tense, the way I often see it is:

"The groom is a graduate of the Faber College, where he was a member of Delta Tau Chi Fraternity."

or

"The groom is a graduate of the Faber College and is a member of Delta Tau Chi Fraternity."

FWIW.

Double-ring ceremonies only became really common in a lot of areas in the 70's. My father has never worn a wedding ring.

I just filled out the generic form through my local newspaper to announce my wedding. It was questions that I answered and they actually write the announcment so it could also be someone who is not Greek and doesn't know the difference.

Very curious to see if this is still done.

We're still debating whether or not to do hometown paper engagement/wedding announcements. The ones I've seen in the past few years haven't featured Greek affiliation.

Greek affiliation is alive and well in the Dallas Morning News wedding announcements!

The option of naming your fraternal org(s) within your wedding announcement still exists in our local papers; despite their rare occurrence, I always look for them.

Death notices will occasionally list sorority/fraternity affiliation, even local groups. Readers do, however, get a mistaken impression when membership in Alpha Omega Pi at Alabama or Sigma Kai at Southern Cal is misspelled.

I have never seen this in wedding announcements in my local paper in Rhode Island, and the Providence Journal doesn't print wedding announcements at all that I've ever seen. I did see an obituary where the deceased was said to have been a member of Chi Omega at the University of Rhode Island, which I thought was pretty cool.