Trash-talking PNM?
 

What would you do if during rush you had a PNM who went around saying nasty things about other PNMs? For example, if Jenny the PNM said, "don't give Sally a bid because she's a slut," would you believe her? Would you talk to Sally and ask her what's up? Would you cut Jenny?

A BIG red flag.
 

I would definately cut Jenny. Who needs a sister who talks sh*t about other people from the get go? She was probably lying and it will only get worse. Even if Sally is a slut, it isn't her business.

Re: Trash-talking PNM?
 

If it were me, I'd cut Jenny. My reason is simple: we don't need gossip or drama in the chapter.

cut Jenny, and find out if her comments about Sally have any validity, if they are true, cut her too.

How would you go about doing that? Would you talk to Sally or someone else?

Also, would you let Sally know that somebody had gossiped about her? Personally, I'd want to know if someone was talking shit about me, but I can see where someone else might not.

I doubt that Sally would say "Yay I'm whore!", even if she is. You'll probably have better luck talking to someone else. Even then, you may not get the TRUE story.

And in the quick formal rush process, how on earth are you going to find out the "truth" about someone? If you don't already know them going in, well, they're going to be on their BEST behavior for that week. You can only judge them by what you've seen during that time, and all you know here is that one rushee is mean. Even is some other girl is a slut (which we cannot verify), we know that this first girl is trying to get what she wants by being down on others rather than being up on herself.

Cut Jenny, and judge Sally on her own merits.

cut Jenny, and give me Sally's number. J/k ;)

Omigod, this was great! LOL!!! :D

i would personal cut jenny then call an alumnae from sally's hometown and get the low down on her reputation. Unless ( big unless) pnm jenny is a close friend/relative of the sister she told it to...in which case she was probably just trying to warn you... and didn't know that it wasn't proper to talk about

say bye bye
 

absolutely no reason to trash talk anyone....
mmcat
:rolleyes:

Cut snippy little Jenny. You don't want her, and you don't need her. Usually, people only say something like that when they're jealous of someone. Jenny obviously sees Sally as a threat. Look out for any red flags from Sally, like if she keeps asking what fraternities you have mixers with and keeps coming back to the topic of boys, boys, boys. Trust me, if anybody in your chapter went to the same high school as Sally and she had a bad rep, they'd know about it and bring it up. Let as many members meet Sally as possible, and go with your collective instincts.

no troublemakers
 

cut somone that looks like they will potentil cause trouble in a chapterhouse as that;s something that nobody wants.

Oh, how I wish that was true! I've seen girls not bring it up because, "the rest of you seemed to like her!" GRR!

Oh, how awful! If someone had firsthand knowledge of something like that, she knew she could and should bring it up. If she had shown herself to be level-headed and trustworthy in the past, we believed her. And I can't remember any member ever steering us wrong.

What did you all end up doing?

Cut the gossiper, thats all you need is someone who will cause problems for the greek system later on by talking trash about a member of another group.

There is NO reason for a PNM to talk bad about another PNM, rush is a time for you to get to know her and her to get to know you, not for her to let you know about all the other PNM's. She sounds like she has a self-esteem prob to me!!

On the flip side of that issue, we've had girls dead set against PNMs because of something that happened their freshman year of high school when everyone else liked the girl, and usually it was something about their feelings getting hurt over some guy/friend/locker/bus seating/lip gloss issue that was really stupid to begin with (no offense to my sisters or anything, but it makes me want to gnaw my ear off when I hear "BUT SHE DID ________ WHEN WE WERE IN ________ GRADE."). While I think it's important to know if someone has a history of acting in a way that your chapter would not like to encourage (ie. selling crack from their mom's house would be a valid complaint), I would hate to have stuff that I did when I was in high school used against me, especially if it's like with some of our PNMs where they were all of 14 when it happened. :rolleyes: My mom still complains about me at that age, and I'm 21 now.

I definitely think you should cut Jenny, trash talking about other rushees is flat-out rude whether it's true or not, but at the same time, I'd keep your eyes and ears open for issues regarding Sally's reputation if it's important to your organization. I know a lot of people who've gotten bad reputations for no reason at all, and a lot who have earned theirs, so it's sometimes difficult to separate the facts from the fiction in a case like this.

I think a PNM has enough on their hands just getting themselves through the process without berating somebody else. It's definitely taboo to trash anybody, even another house she's rushed. The best thing a PNM can do is focus on the positives. Like others have said, nobody likes a gossip or a backstabber.

Cut the gossip, keep the whore. :p

I wouldn't cut either.

They're new members who could use the chance to LEARN what is accepted and what isn't accepted in the real world. I bet you all made mistakes at one time or another about saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong people. I'd give the gossiper a stern warning, and keep an eye on her from there on.

The "slut", on the other hand, isn't exhibiting obvious signs that she IS one, or else there would be no reason to need to listen to the gossiper. I would place less priority on checking up on the "slut" than keeping an eye on the gossiper. Loose lips sink ships.

-MK

There are girls who call most anybody they don't like a slut so I would be careful about giving too much credence to her comment. I don't think I would absolutley cut the gossipper just for that, but I believe that remark takes her down a few notches and coming from a chapter where rush is highly competitive that would cost her dearly.

I wouldn't make a big deal about Jenny, but I would make sure to cut her. I wish during Recruitment you could say that we, as a group, don't appreciate that kind of topic of conversation and get the point across, but I would be scared that it would start a fight and she would then trash talk about your group.

The PNM in question, I would check her rec again and make sure that she is as good as the rest. You never know why someone may disklike a girl and want to ruin her chances not knowing that the behavior will ruin their chance as well!

I'm a BAD rusher, so I would probably do something wrong, that's why I am the punch girl! I always have to think ALOT before I speak!