Boy am I glad I made my decision!!!!
 

Last weekend one of my former pledge bros. made some very bad choices! During his night to do BADD duty (brothers against drunk driving) he did just the opposite. He got drunk at the house while on duty and on his way to pick people up flipped his car 2 times. He now has to drop out of college and get a full time job to make up for this. His parents dont have alot of money so he probably wont be coming back. My old pledge class is now down to 2 people. While I am sorry this happened, and I hope hes ok I am more now than ever glad that I quit. This just goes to show what I was walking away from. I hope he learnes from this horrible mistake and makes big changes in his life!!!! Just figured everybody could learn from this!!!

Ryan

More glad than ever that you quit. Showed what you were walking away from.

Whatever. Drop the SAE tag.

Ever think you might have been able to stop that had you been man enough to stick it out, intiatate, then bring about all the changes that you could foresee for the chapter.

Oh, geez, I'm sorry about that. Maybe your chapter needed someone like you to straighten it out.

Ryan, sounds like you got away from a disaster waiting to happen.
 

Ryan, He is lucky that he didn't kill himself, or worse, someone else. Also, he is lucky to have WALKED away from that...he could have broken his neck and been paralyzed from the neck down.

Money can be "re-earned", but a healthy, working body is precious and priceless. I hope this nincompoop learned something and gained some maturity.

#1 -- as BillyMac puts it, you should drop the SAE name
#2 -- Well if you go back through rush to pledge another house you now know what to look out for. If you felt your leaving was the best decision for you, then it was. When you decide to go Greek the most important thing is finding the house that fits you best. Not all people are right the first time, just learn from your mistakes and move on! Best of luck!

LHT
Kevin
MT #5
University of Central Oklahoma

I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT!
 

I agree. . .TOTALLY. It's HARD to be a Brother, no matter what the letters. It's easy to make comments after the fact.

We all sweat blood and tears for our organizations, no matter NPHC, NIC, NPC, or Other. . .no matter how salty the tears or thick the blood, we persevered.

How easy it must be to say "I told you so" and how hard it is to HELP YOUR BROTHER.

Ryan, I'm glad that you walked away while you could. Who knows what worse things could have happened. I feel bad for the guy though. Hopefully, he and others have learned a lesson from this. Don't drink and drive!

KABillyMac, I couldn't agree with you more. Well said! Drop the SAE tagline and think that maybe you could've helped this guy. Here's a stupid question...who let the drunk guy go out and pick up people??? And we wonder why we have outlandish insurance and problems...sorry, I'm just disgusted.

Dude, I've met some of the SAE's at Ryan's school. They aren't worth walking across the street for, nevermind blood, sweat & tears.

However, I do agree that he ought to drop the fraternity tag.

Daaammmmnnn all the hostility!!!!!!!
 

There must be some unwritten rule that it is a disgrace if someone walks away from their GLO, no matter how bad it gets...

Re: Daaammmmnnn all the hostility!!!!!!!
 

That's not the point at all. Anyone is free to leave their GLO. However, out of respect to the organization as a whole, the person should definitely remove any screenname or signature indicating their former affiliation once they leave. Also, it doesn't look good to badmouth the organization once you leave. I believe that is the message people are trying to get across in this thread.

Ryan, from everything you told us, it sounds as if you were really unhappy in your house. I wish things had turned out differently for you, but I hope that this experience has not tainted your view of the Greek system (or SAE) as a whole. I encourage you to look at other houses that may be a better fit for you, and to try and remain friends with those in the SAE house who you were close to. :)

Re: Re: Daaammmmnnn all the hostility!!!!!!!
 

Now, that I do agree with. It's pretty darn easy to get another username.

Ryan, I am sorry to hear about the Young man who got stupid!

Congratulations on making a decision that seemed to be a long time in coming!:eek:

Do not let what you experienced turn you away fro the Greek Life! You can see what what it means to all of us!

Look around and see what else is out there! I wish You could find what I found if you get the hint!

Remeber a Big Nice House does not a Fraternity or Soroity make but the people in it!

I just wish I could get my Brouthers to realize that!

I still would like very much to meet you face to face as you are a member of one of the greatest Greek Orgs. G C !

I also agree, check with John Hammmel about changing your Tag and GC Name!

But stay on this site! We Love Ya man!:D

Dionysus----- Now, that I do agree with. It's pretty darn easy to get another username


LOL! LOL! LOL! THAT was sooooo funny!

This was just an unnecessary comment. And then w wonder why greeks don't get along and have some the perceptions that people give us. Is It really right to judge a house, based on some members? They might not have been the nicest of ppl, but who knows what they did for the house. After all from my understanding Ryan liked the majority of his house, just not his pledge class and some of the ACTIONS of his brothers.
All houses have people who put in less of an effort or none at all. It's life, deal with it. but unless you havent done anything to try to help it, you need to keep your mouth shut. I'm not gonna bash the kid. His actions were idiotic.
We've all made mistakes (some huge like this one) in our lives and he's paying for it.
Ryan, I hope that maybe you look at Greek Life again with a different group. After all like some said, one house may be wrong for you, but another might not. And that you continue on GC...However, this kinda post really wasnt too cool.

Pardon me! I take umbreddge to both of You JWOW, and UM girl!

We do not know what went on there!

And if the guys were asswholes, who are you to decide about who knows anybody!

There is someone there who has an opinion and Knows something!

Doo NOOTT put down as we all have stones to throw and we all live in the glass house!
Righteous is as it does! Shit runs down hill and it dont take long to figure out you are on teh botton of the food chain!

Well fish and chips in the cooker!

I do not throw stones, I throw boulders! They are bigger!

He has a life to live and he has to make the Mind set!

If I read this wrong Then I am sorry!

TTFN!:cool:

Regardless, RockChalk's post was a little insensitive and unnecessary considering the severity of the situation.

First before I address some issues, the reason I still use this name is because I dont forsee myself now that I am no longer greek coming here often. Now to address issues, if those who bashed me followed what happened you would understand I in no way bashed the organization. I love SAE, if I was at another campus I would probably still be in. Out of respect for my former GLO I will not re-rush it was SAE or nothing. There's respect! Its not about being a man, college surprisingly isnt about GLO's its about a degree and an education. I realized towards the end that I didnt have time to try and change their whole system positively, so I respectfully left. About 1 week after I left I was IMed by my former pledge brothers about how mature they were and how they made good decisions, they then proceeded to use every insult in the book. In particular the former brother who did this, made most of the taunts. I ended that conversation by saying, "I wish you all the best of luck with both college and fraternity, please respect that it just wasnt for me". About 1 week later MR.Mature, Mr."I'm a man and I'm gonna stick it out" made a horrible decision, Mr."I'm a man" risked not only his life but that of the bros. he was supposed to pick up. The only blood and tears he would have caused would have been his and his bros. blood, and the tears of their parents and loved ones. I wasnt at the house, I had already been gone, and on top of that I'm not his mom I can't always be there he should know to make the right decision. I if bashing anyone bashed my former pledge bros. bad decisions., I simply posted this so maybe we can all learn from it and at least one good thing, knowledge can come form this! So read it for the lesson not a chance for you to start giving me you left bullshit. It doesnt change me, I will still verbally bitchslap those who trash being greek without knowing anything about it, like i said it just wastn for me!!! Thanks Tom for sticking up for me, if you are ever up in lawrence hit my cell!!!

Ryan, if you haven't read the thread you posted in the Chit Chat forum before you de-pledged, you don't need to be Greek to post on this website and we welcome your posts anytime. I totally understand if you don't want to contribute, however coming back posting a thread called "Boy am I glad I made my decision" while still under the guise of your SAE screenname has obviously been interpreted by some people as an "I told you so." We understand why you chose to de-pledge and we're sorry it happened, but you're still using the SAE name while insulting one of its chapters and that's not cool. If you still plan to use that handle for the purpose of this thread then I suggest you at the very least delete the signature.

I dontk now why this keeps being an issue? I am not dogging my chapter, or my national fraternity. I do not like my pledge brothers, the way they act, or the choices they make. I refuse to join and be associated with them. I will take away the sig. when I get a chance until then, lets deal with the issues not the screen name. I still hold SAE's principals with the utmost respect!

Oh the irony, LOL! I wasn't even trying to be funny THAT time.....I was just stating a fact. ;)

Yeah, you read my post wrong :) I pretty much said what you stated.
I said that Rock was WRONG for saying that the SAE brothers at the school werent worth walking across the street for, and we wonder why people say the stuff they do about us Greeks when we bash each other like that.

Then I said that I wouldnt bash the kid who drove drunk cuz we all make mistakes (or having learning experiences as I refer to them) and that the kid is paying the prive for it. As you stated we shouldnt be throwing stones...

Finally I said that even though I do respect Ryans decision, it is his and why should he be someplace that he doesnt want to be, that he will hopefully think about joining another house and not let this one experience ruin his perception of greeks, HOWEVER, I did feel that this post, like many others, was a little unnecessary. I even said I hope he continues GC.

Hope that clears my post up and my apologies to Ryan if he thought I was bashing him, Far from it.

Ha Ha... i just re-wrote my post :rolleyes:

Here is a news flash for you, haus. Your not an SAE. I would suggest dropping the tag. As this is none of my buisness, I will let a member of SAE take it up with you.

And yes, no matter what you say, you know damn well that you came here to say "nah nah nah nah I told you so...." So now your the bigger man. You walked away. If you didnt like it, I dont blame you for a minute. What I do blame you for is disrespecting the thousands of SAE's with this complete crock of aardvark shit that you call a post. You went from " hey I dont think I like this and im gonna quit" to "hey one of my FORMER pledge brothers just hit a telephone pole" in about 2.5 seconds.

Again, news flash, and I hope this stings..........

YOUR NOT SAE

Now, you got your wish........

Yep, you made a little "oopsie" Tom-
 

BUT I FORGIVE YOU!
I was replying ONLY to Dionysus post. Her comment on how easy it is to change your user name. It just struck me as really funny-all things considered. Right Dionysus? Glad you saw the humor that I did! You KNOW I was teasing you!

Re: Yep, you made a little "oopsie" Tom-
 

Right, JAM.

UMgirl: first off, I'm not Greek, so this isn't a case of Greeks bashing each other. I only said that because I found it unreasonable that so many people expected Ryan to stick it out, regardless of the costs to his mental or physical well-being. I should have phrased it differently, and for that I apologize.

However, I stand by my opinion that the SAE chapter at his school is not exactly a model chapter. We have many fine chapters here, but SAE is not one of them. If Ryan chose to give Greek life another try, I'm sure he'd have no trouble finding a chapter that suited him. It's a shame he had to get sucked in by the one bad apple on our campus.

And you are entitled to your opinion...but I don't think anyone was claiming that they are a model chapter. However, since I do not attend that university I choose not to make assumptions about the chapter based on the opinions of a former-pledge. The incident was horrible and irresponsible, it is terrible that it happened. But I wouldn't want anyone judging my entire chapter and saying bad things about us just because a few people acted idiotic.

KABillyMac, I'm glad that you are getting your frustrations out! Maybe your having a rough time at college, and you cant handle the end of the year? Maybe there's problems at work or home? Whatever is going wrong in your life, go ahead and take your aggression out on me. The reason I titled my post that, is because I could have been the one calling him to be picked up. I'm glad that I was lucky enough to realize my decision. Once again as far as reposting things, I do not blame SAE its a great organization I hear great things at other campuses. The house at my campus is starting to improve on areas that its weak. I still stand by the principals, and many bros. in the house were great. As far as Ardvark shit goes, your swimming in it right now. Your comment doesn't sting, here "I"M NOT AN SAE" omg I'm completely humiliated what ever will I do. I went from my pledge bros. are assholes who make bad decisions, to a former asshole pledge bro. made a bad decision, how can we learn from this. If the whole chapter isnt responsible for itself and the actions of its members be it frat. or sorority how can it survive? This incident could have shut down or put the house on serious probation and that would have been the les harsh thing. Soemone could have died, not even someone involved. I'm not here to cast stones, I have made mistakes too, but usually my mistakes just affect me I try not to f*ck around with things big enough that they affect others also. I will after this post not be here or change my screen name since obviously the severity of drunk driving isnt the topic, its screen names. The only reason I hadn't yet is because you wouldnt buy a convertible and move to the rainiest part of the world. And you wouldn't get a new screen name if you didn't plan to use it!

SAEguy (or not as the case may be)-

You said - "The only blood and tears he would have caused would have been his and his bros. blood, and the tears of their parents and loved ones. I wasnt at the house, I had already been gone, and on top of that I'm not his mom I can't always be there he should know to make the right decision."

It's one thing to ask a kid to clean up his room. Nobody asked you to do that! But if you don't think it's your responsibility, or at least partially yours as a member at the time of the GLO, to keep your other members safe, then I think you have the wrong idea of what fraternity/sorority life is about. Someone's signature here says "don't be your brother's keeper; be your brother's brother". That about wraps up what you should've done. You can quit a fraternity because you may not like it. But to have knowledge that a potential tragedy could happen and do nothing about it, then come here and say "boy I'm glad I quit! look at these losers" is really just callous.

I apologize if this is harsh, but this is about more than someone not liking their fraternity. It's about making sure that people are safe.

It may be because _ _ _guy is from Kansas, or it may be that he's a young kid who just made a very difficult decision only to learn- that decision may have saved his life or limb, but I do not judge him or his post as harshly as others. I can see people thinking it's a good idea to drop the SAE from his ID, but that wasn't the point of his post...as far as I could see. It seemed more of a way to reach out and explain to those who advised him to stay in his GLO, the reality of his situation. When news of this nature is "hot off the press" is it so unusual to speak in an urgent or intensified manner? Maybe a little more finesse' would have suited the majority of responders, but in light of the total situation, I find his breach of GC etiquette understandable, if not acceptable.

Hey, I have no problem with you depledging your fraternity - there are chapters that aren't worth their letters, and if you felt yours was one of those, I won't argue. But if you have time to post messages as long as the ones you've been posting on here, you have time to change your sig.

And you say, "I'm not using or going to be using my sig" WHILE you're still posting? Either do what you say and REALLY stop posting or go change the sig.

I didn't say they were. What I was saying is that some people seemed to think the problem here was with Ryan, when, judging by my experience, the problem lies elsewhere.

SAE- Kansas Alpha
 

While I respect everyone's opinion here on Greekchat, and definitely _ _ _ guy and RockChalk have a very different opinions than I do, I think SAE is being talked about very unfavorably.

My cousin is a recent alum of that chapter, and the brothers I met were nothing but quality guys. I am biased, but my cousin is one of the classiest, smartest guys I have the priviledge of knowing, and I know that he would never be a member of a fraternity the way it has been characterized.

2 Delt brothers were in a car accident on Sunday night following their Ms. Greek pageant...the older one ( a senior) died last night. Drinking and driving is stupid, folks...

Sunnygirl, thanks for throwing in your $.02...personally, I like hearing different opinions. :)

Ryan, PM or e-m me your cell phone # K?

Will give ya a call!

QUESTION???
 

If everyone will take a moment and remember, when we first met Ryan on GC, we were excited because he seemed like an upright-dedicated and serious person...a person any fraternity would be proud of. So, here it is...........Would it be possible for him to join any OTHER GLO at this point? I understand he may not want to, and I understand the other fraternities may be aware of the total situation. It's just that I feel there is a BIG loss here. Not only did the fraterniy lose the "potential" of Ryan as a brother, but Ryan lost the "potential" of being affiliated with the outstanding org-SAE. Is this then end of it all?

Hey he didn't like the house..nothing wrong with that...But you do need to drop the SAE

PHI ALMOST

JAM- Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't he still a pledge when he deaffilliated? If he was, I'm sure one of the other twenty or so fraternities on this campus would be glad to have him. I'm sure they'll understand that not everybody is going to like every organization.

I look at this differently.

As I recall, Ryan explained that he will not pledge another fraternity because of his respect and admiration for SAE. It was his chapter and pledge class he had issues with -- not the fraternity.

Question. If he had depledged because he couldn't afford to stay in the fraternity, or a death in the family caused him to drop out of school, or for some other unfortunate reason beyond his control, would you all still be asking him to drop the SAE from his screen name?

I wouldn't.

The man made a hard decision. Under the circumstances as I understand them, I'm inclined to give him a break.