Crush- the Night from Hell
 

So tonight was our Crush party...we had it at the Barking Dog, a really really sweet local bar. We had the whole upstairs floor to ourselves, a great DJ, and our own bar. Awesome place. I'm Risk Management Chair, so I was Sober Sister tonight. I got there early and gave the bouncer the guest list to have at the door- 206 people. Feeling very satisfied with myself, I get my water from the bartender and go upstairs to put the box of t-shirts by the DJ to hand out later (very cute: a shamrock and the saying "Some guys have all the luck- AXO Crush Spring 2002).

Well, yadda yadda, people start showing up, I'm standing at the base of the stairs going up to our event talking to my ex-boyfriend for most of the night- I'm making sure that people are basically staying upstairs and are ok to drive if they are leaving. The topic of t-shirts comes up, and I go upstairs to get my ex-boyfriend one. Box isn't there. Mild heart attack. Search all around the upstairs- box still isn't there. So now 150 t-shirts are missing as well as my purse, which was at the bottom of the box since there was no coat room. Now, I start to panic. $1400 in t-shirts.... my California drivers license and credit cards... and I'm thinking, what the hell is someone going to do with 150 t-shirts??? I get the one of the bouncers, who tells me he moved the box from one end of the room to the other- god knows why, but he did. We go upstairs to where he moved them- no dice. Box is gone. I freak out and our VP and I search the entire bar- kitchen, employee room, office, storage, everything. Nothing. We find my purse hidden behind the jukebox next to the kitchen. Everything is there, thank god, but our t-shirts are gone. I'm searching outside the bar with the owner in the bushes (it was 45 degrees and raining) for them, hoping some boy thought it would be funny to hide them... but nothing.

By this point I am close to tears and the damn photographer keeps getting in my face trying to take my picture. I yell at him to get the hell away from me, I am not feeling especially photogenic at the moment. I go downstairs to talk to the owner about the possibility of a staff member taking our shirts. This would be the point when a pledge of fraternity XYZ decides it is a FABULOUS idea to put his hand through the front window of the bar. He gets taken outside and schooled by the bouncers, and I'm trying to figure out who he is to see if he was on the guest list. I argue with his brothers for about 10 minutes before they'll tell me his real last name. I check the list, and he's not on there. So the bouncers apparently weren't doing their job checking the list we had given them... but one of them tells me that my sorority is paying for the damage (a shaved-glass window worth about $3600, according to the owner). This would be when my heart starts trying to escape from my body again.

My ex-boyfriend, who is a senior in XYZ, steps up and hands over his credit card to the owner, and tells him to put the cost of the damage on his card. Phew. I'm telling the owner we have no liability because he was not an invited guest and it was the responsibility of the bouncer to check the list, and since that obviously didn't happen, it's their own fault. Right around now, the staff is herding everyone out the door, cause it's closing time. I stay and discuss everything a little longer with the owner and get it straightened out- he's not holding us anywhere near responsible. Okay. Feeling better.

I'm the last one outside with my boyfriend and some friends, and we start walking to my car. I see a group of boys in the middle of the road... brothers of fraternities AB and CDE. These two groups ALWAYS have beef with each other on some level, and this time was no different. Two guys are trying to fight, and the brothers are just egging them on ("Let 'em fight one on one" and "It'll be good." Where the hell am I, Fight Club?). Anyways, a pledge of CDE brushes against a brother of AB and AB comes out swinging. They start to fight and none of the brothers are trying to stop it. A cop car rolls up. Evryone is yelling "COP!" but again, no one tries to break it up. The cop busts them up and has them against the wall. SIX MORE COP CARS roll up and arrest the two fighters. This was all RIGHT OUTSIDE the bar, so the cops are asking questions to the owner, etc, and ask to speak to me because the CDE pledge is underage and very much intoxicated. He is on the guest list, but listed as under 21, so we're ok... it's the bar's liability at this point, it is just another bar fight.

But all in all, a crappy night. I found out later that the XYZ who punched the window broke not only his hand but his wrist and arm as well...

Something like this happens at every sorority event at my school... the fraternity boys come, and someone starts a fight. Last semester at our crush one kid hit another in the face with a beer bottle over an intermural football game, and the kid needed surgery. The two fraternities carried this issue to EVERY sorority event for the rest of the semester- at my roommate's Crush, 2 weeks later, the cops had to come with a paddy wagon.

Does anyone else have this at their school, or are the fraternities here just overloaded on testosterone? Who decides that punching a window (or anyone else) is a good idea? And WHO TOOK OUR DAMN SHIRTS???

argh. Okay, had to vent there. Thanks for bearing with me y'all!

DAMN! That was the night from hell! I have never seen anything like what you described happen ever. When I was in college, I know that two fraternities had a beef with each other. They had one fight and it was over. IFC or IGC intervened and put an end to it immediately. This type of conduct is completely unacceptable and should result in some sort of punishment.
I hope that you find your shirts. Maybe you should check out e-bay.:rolleyes:

Oh, sweetie, I don't have much sound advice to offer you...but I just wanted to tell you to cheer up. Things are bound to get better, because from what you say they could not have gotten too much worse!

I really hope the shirts turn up. Thank goodness you found your purse!

All I can say is (and I don't know how realistic this would actually be) is to not invite members of XYZ back to any social events for X period of time. Please not disclaimer :D

LHT
Kevin

I agree with ktsnake. Tell your sisters that until they shape up their shit, they're not invited to your stuff. Your sorority is lucky that you didn't get in any trouble, thank god!! Bar owners can be real pricks about stuff sometimes.

I hope you find your shirts and things work out :) At least you have a great story to tell your grandkids 50 years from now! ;)

whoa... that's rough.
i must say that not much violence happens between frats here. everyone seems to get along pretty well. there are the occasional squabbles with VMI cadets that come to parties, but other than that, everyone is happy in our little greek world. the violence that does rarely occur is limited and the participants usually recieve social probation.

sorry to hear about the shirts... i would have totally flipped out. i hope that they turn up...

don't worry... things will get better!

Wow, what a night:eek: :eek: We never had a problem that i can remember between fraternities like that. Sounds like they have a lot of growing up to do and I definitely would not invite them to any more parties b/c of the liability until they straighten up their act. Hope you find the T-shirts they sound really cute.

All I can say is WOW what a night! I think I would have passed out after all that!!! I hope things get better and I hope you find those shirts. UDZETA :eek:

Crazy story..I would have been SO stressed out!!

Sorry to hear about your rotten experience! :(

THAT WAS THE MOST EXCITING STORY I'VE READ IN A LONG WHILE!!! Did you find the T's---your purse???

I was with you every step of the way! I've read some horrific stuff on this board, but WOW-what a NIGHT!

Holy moly! The night from hell! We've never encountered anything like that before. The guys are usually pretty good on our dated functions. The only problem I can remember was a guy not in a fraternity trying to pick fights with guys, but other guys (actually in fraternities) totally took care of it so the sisters in charge didn't have to deal with unruly, big guys. As far as the t-shirts, I really hope you find them! We always just give them out before or after the event. If it's before, the girls can give them to their dates whenever and when we get them after wards 1 of 2 things can happen:
1) The date was awsome and it's a great excuse to see him again, or
2) The date was bad and the sister can pass his thing down to her little/grandlittle, etc.
It works out well that way. I'm sorry all that happened to you, though, you must be a cucumber, though, cause you're still standin to talk about it!

I am proud to say that we don't really have problems at our date parties with the guys. All of our functions end at midnight. (Is that customary among all sororities?) That may be one big factor in preventing fights. No one really gets to a function until ten or ten thirty so they only have on and a half, two hours to get all wasted and aggressive. By the time they do, it is time to go home.

Although, at mens steps (bid-day) we all pair up with a fraternity and go to cheer on their new pledges as they announce which bid they will accept. This past fall there was a huge incident between two fraternities and the whole thing ended up being shut down. It was really sad for the new guys who didn't get to go through because they missed out due to their active guys behaving like animals. Apparently that is pretty usual for mens steps. Hmmm.......

Wow, your night sounds horrible! I hope that you find the T-shirts, or at least what happened to them. We don't haven anything near what you described happen at my school.. I think that maybe the testosterone level is a tad high with those guys!

OMG Girl that is absolutly awful!!!! ugh I can't believe that would happen!!:eek: I really hope you find those shirts sweetie!

Nichole

Kill those frat boys. Seriously, I would do it for you if they were my brothers and pledges. Lying about the pledge's real name? Those guys would have been out of my gang in two seconds flat.

As for the rest of it, sorry to hear it all happened in one night, but I guess that's what happens when you put a lot of stupid people together. Definitely report those fraternities to your school's greek council (or whatever passes for a greek council) and that will either get them straightened up right away or they'll get their charters yanked real good.

Some people just get the idea that they're so invicible and nothing can touch them -- you just may need to speak up so that they can get in touch with reality.

Thanks, everyone, for your sympathy and suggestions... unfortunately, eliminating these boys from our function is not a viable option. The 3 fraternities involved are the top 3 on campus, and over 3/4 of our sisterhood date boys in these chapters. There's no way they would stand for it. It's come up before, as a way to reduce this sort of thing, but it always falls through.

In the days since, the 2 fraternities that fought in the street have been quasi-fighting all over campus... a group of CDE boys will roam around looking for ABs to start something with, and vice versa. They've been broken up by public safety numerous times. One of the younger ABs, a sophomore who dates one of my sisters, was so riled up after he left Crush that he FOUGHT THE PAPA JOHN'S deliveryman who was leaving the dorms as he was coming in. God only knows what this poor pizza man said to set him off, but the AB literally jumped him and it took 3 brothers to break it up. Quite mature, eh?

We wrote a letter to XYZ about the window breaking, expressing our disappointment in their concern for our liability and disregard for teh well-being of our chapter in allowing a pledge to get so out of control (apparently he was seriously frightening some of my sisters, sexually harassing them, and no brothers intervened). Hopefully something will come of that.

No word on the t-shirts... we're looking on Ebay, though :) My advisor called the guy who made them and he felt so bad he offered to redo them at half of cost, about $4.50 a shirt if we wanted. Unfortunately, the chapter is pretty strapped for cash, and the remainder of our social budget is going towards Formal, so we turned it down, but it was a really sweet offer.

Our campus Greek advisor is pretty biased towards the fraternities here... they can basically do no wrong, but god forbid any sororities should have new members wear pins. Seriously, he reported 5 sorority chapters to their Nationals for hazing because of "the obvious segregation between sisters and new members that was indicative of deeper hazing practices." Yet fraternity boys can walk around for weeks dressed entirely in camoflauge, covered in ketchup, mustard, chocolate sauce, and mud, unshowered, speaking in the 3rd person, and never feeding themselves (they must be fed by a pledge brother), and they come up smelling like roses. It's really very unfair.

Grrr.... hopefully things will calm down soon though :)

Gag mc maggot!! The only time we ever had a prob at a dated function was when ex boyfriend showed up (as a date of another sister) and current boyfriend got upset, and c.b. punched a hole in our wall. (Not like he was a big stud, our wall was just wussy) C.b. was a good guy and paid for it. Just another reason you should have events in your own houses and not public spaces LOL.

Seriously I TOTALLY understand how even if they are jags, you cannot cut them out cause they are on top. Hopefully XYZ will be nice enough to pony up some $$$. Oh, and your Greek advisor is a sexist dickhead, or wishing he could get a handful of some of the fraternity guys' packages, or both.

I want to cry for you! What a night from hell! I cannot believe that the greek men in your community would be so inconsiderate. If I were you I'd take this issue to IFC and to Panhellenic. If they do this at other sorority functions they should be forbiddin to attend them! They could have cost you thousands...not to mention a bad reputation with the bar!

I hope everything gets better!

Hootie

Heh, I'm sorry, that does sound like a nightmare. What's even worse is the clepto-freaks stole your shirts, but looking at the brighter side, at least it wasn't the WORST thing that could happen at a greek-sponsored event. If you think that's a nightmare, take a look at the greeks at Rutgers, nothing but crap up here.

Well, hopefully the next time you guy have an event, things will be more secure and smoothe. Goodluck!

RUgreek