Pre-Marital Sex is...
 

....wrong or right in your opinion?

Why or why not?


Jamal5000 :)

..is wrong in my personal opinion. As a Christian, I take all aspects of my spirituality seriously. I believe that God created sex as something to be shared within the bonds of marriage. I especially feel this way now because I didn't start off believing that, I lost my virginity early and had more than 1 (or 2 or 3) sexual partners. I believed as a lot of Christians do, that I can get by with having sex with someone I really care about, or intend to marry, or that God really wouldn't care about me having sex because I wasn't on drugs or killing anybody. I came up with every excuse I could think of. I've been celibate (no sexual activity) for 3.5 years, and while it's been difficult, I'm happy that I'm following what I believe is the will of God.

Wrong. Because it causes unnecessary hardships that God never intended for us to go through.

this is a really difficult question. those that take the religious perspective i can certainly respect. i can also understand those that don't have an issue. i guess for me the answer is a bigger picture. i know sin to be sin! it does not matter if it is sex, drinking, etc.! i believe that we are destined to sin and are caught up in a constant battle to overcome our desire of the flesh. i suggest that individuals develop a relationship with the Christ, accept what he allows and the savior will then give us the true desire of our hearts.

No comment...only thinking...
 

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....:cool:

Re: No comment...only thinking...
 

A penny for your thoughts Soror. You can PM me!

Re: No comment...only thinking...
 

It's gettin colder in here -

:p

2'D exactly! I PM'd you back. ;)

Re: No comment...only thinking...
 

we're waiting - - -

Re: Re: No comment...only thinking...
 

STILL No Comment! :p

:D

I believe it is wrong... It is also rare to find a mate who has waited to have sex until they are married. It seems to me that it has become the norm not to wait, it is almost shocking for people to see someone who has.:eek:.... I know it is morally wrong, but it is something few people can say they haven't done. So I pose this question, if you saved yourself for your wife or husband would you be disappointed if they hadn't done the same? :confused:

technically...
 

it's wrong, but I'm going to be BRAVE enough to say

1. I tried it...
2. I liked it...
3. I'd probably do it again, although right now it's been a long time since the last time.

But as always, I can't wait until I meet that ONE I was destined to be with.

Word... yep.


112

Re: technically...
 

The BEST answer yet! :D ;)

LMAO! :p

:o

Not with the way society is today....

A little off the subject.... but in the same ballpark.... I was watching Elimidate today. For those that haven't seen it, it's a show where a person goes on a date with 4 people at the same time, but during the date, they gradually eliminate people. This guy, although he was asking some very provocative questions, chose the girl that said she was a virgin. His reasoning: he said he just felt a chemistry between them - and that was w/o her making statements about what she would do to him, etc.

:eek: hmmmmmmmmmm....

I think that it is wrong. I think that I should have waited until I was married and until I knew that I loved the person. I believe that people should make love; not have sex or ... well you know the other word. Making Love is the most intimate thing that you can only share with that one special person.

It is something to think about.....

:rolleyes:

TODAY I think...
 

that it's cool. I'm not even going to touch on the religious/spiritual aspect of it, because there are other sins that I commit, so no since in singling this one out. Anyway...

I am glad that I didn't wait until I was married. I used to think that that was a good idea. But I only want to marry ONCE, and I would be horrified if my husband couldn't satisfy me sexually. And that whole thing of 'if that's all you know, it'll be good,' is a crock of crap. Men are just like shoes: I wouldn't buy a pair of shoes without trying them on, either. At this point, to me, sex is just another form of expression. Expression of love or expression of lust, whichever, the Outcome (notice the capital O) is the same. ;)

Re: TODAY I think...
 

Pre-Marital Sex is....
 

...a personal choice. What is wrong for one person may or may not be wrong for another. Morals, ethics and beliefs are not shared by everyone nor are we all members of the same faith. Therefore, all of these things are personal and individual as is this decision. No mater what, I think it should be treated like all decisions. You should make your choices in the context of your beliefs and your personality. Do what's best for you. You do you. (Not literally- that would be another topic all together :D)

And I definitely feel what Ideal08 had to say as well as a few others on this thread.

Re: technically...
 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by OneOneTwo
[B]

1. I tried it...
2. I liked it...
3. I'd probably do it again, although right now it's been a long time since the last time.

LMAO!

I don't want to get married and know nothing about this person sexually. I don't want to marry someone who I'm sexually compatible with. I think it would be good to know if you are sexually compatible before hand. I'm not saying sex the most important thing in a relationship but it is important. ;) :D

FUN!!!
 

:D

Re: Pre-Marital Sex is...
 

Right......as long as you're mature enough to handle it. If you have to question yourself then you need to wait until it feels right.

I also think it's a beautiful experience as long as it's with the right partner.

Re: Pre-Marital Sex is...
 

IMO, WRONG. I think sex was intended for two consenting people who love each other and share a deep level of friendship and intimacy on the MARRIAGE level.
When you have sex with someone, you're sharing apart of yourself that's supposed to be sacred because two people are becoming one. I can't speak for all women, but for a lot, it takes a toll on emotions.
The more people you've had sex with, the more your emotions are spread out all over the place. John has a special place in your heart cause he was your first. Joe's got a place in your heart cause he was the best. Jimmy's got a place in your heart cause he was the biggest. Jeff has a place in your heart because even though he wasn't all that good in bed, he was a good boyfriend. :rolleyes: Come on now...by the time you get settled and ready to be married, you'll be emotionally drained:( , not to mention all stretched out of whack:eek: :D And no man wants something that's been all used up and stretched out (can any men attest?). With candy or foods you may want to sample before buying, but sex and marriage isn't the same. I may only be twenty years old, but the best advice about sex and marriage was given to me by my pastor and mother. Wait on God to lead you to your mate, and you'll be satisfied in all areas of the relationship, including sex.

Re: Re: Pre-Marital Sex is...
 

Girl, lol, lemme tell you something. I used to think this EXACT same thing. But think about it. If a BABY can come out and it shrink back up.... Ain't no man packin' like that!!! And even if, there is always vinegar (so I've heard)... ;)

Y'all Are Crazy...But Seriously...
 

I agree. We all have this dream that this person will be "the one", and it rarely happens that way. I've only been with one guy, but needless to say we are no longer together. Since I'm not one to have casual sex, I have to fall in love with someone else in order for me to have sex w/ them, or else I will have too many unreciprocated emotions involved...But at the same time, I would prefer to know what I am going to be stuck w/ before I marry a guy ;)

Wwweeeeellllllllll, lookey here lookey here. been so long on GC i feel like a born again virgin. and my first time back we's :D all on my favorite subject.

I've had sex before marriage .
I've had bad sex
I've had good sex
shyt I've had "oh my, goodgod whatabody sex" damn ---hod on i'm haveing a visual, oookkkkay now i'm having a moment.------ damn that was like whoa.
all this sex was before i got married
hmm :confused: i stiil ain't married so i guess all my sex is be fore marriage:D ;) :D ;)

If sex is a crime then give me the death sentence, but if you r not careful then sex can be a death sentence if your married or not


jIHAD


a tisket a tasket a condom or a casket

Re: FUN!!!
 

Only YOU would respond like that....:D

Re: Re: Re: Pre-Marital Sex is...
 

LOL. true enough:D

Honestly, religiously speaking I dont think its anymore wrong than all the other sins in the world but I am waiting (hopefully) until I get married. To me its more of the fact that its such a huge irreversible step and you cant go back from it. I think females especially are so much more bound to males after sex that maybe its best if more of us did wait. But as far as the physical aspect, I dont understand why people say they dont want to wait until they are married to find out if they are sexually compatible with their partner. I mean if you are in love with this person and you want to marry them, why wouldnt you be compatible with them. I mean if you are even attacted to someone and that attraction leads to something physical, don't you know before hand as in foreplay if the sex would be good. And if it isnt dont you love the person enough to work with them, teach them or something. But then again maybe I am living in a fantasy world where you know you have to LOVE the person to marry them, we all know thats not always the case, sadly. I still think sex is or at least should be a small part of a marriage. At least last then 50%. If all you have is sex, I mean soon or later thats going to get boring or you going to get old and please dont tell me about all people having "relations" because thats quite scarey,lol.

Now that was some funny isht!! LMAO!!!

Re: technically...
 

LOL. How can something wrong be so dang good.

How about Oral Sex
 

How about Oral sex, even if you are married. Some consider it a sin...

Re: How about Oral Sex
 

IMO, oral sex is just as bad as having full-on sexual intercourse (although with oral sex many say that a lower amount of emotion is involved :confused: ). Sex is SEX--no matter what form of it it is...

Pre-Marital Sex is NECESSARY
 

I don't think its a sin to have sex for fun...as long as both people are honest about there intentions and consenting. I Personally, try and ONLY have sex with a person I'm in a committed relationship with. I don't think casual sex is as worthwile and pleasureable as loving/committed sex.

Sex is VERY important to maintaining a marriage. If the sex suffers, there is a HIGH probablility that the relationship will suffer and the relationship will end. Marriage statistics show that.

Women and men have alot of issues when it comes to sex. In my adventures in fornication have found that out. Alot of these issues aren't solvable. Some of these issues take a long time to resolve, and some people don't WANT to resolve these issues. For example, I know some women who don't like giving oral sex. I know men who don't and won't as well. The fact is many MANY MANY people enjoy recieving this kind of pleasure. If you can only be intimate with one person forever (marriage vows) and they woun't do this...you will be unhappy, resentful, and want to roam. Forget all that "understanding" stuff. It is unfair to demand someone to perform a sexual act they are against. It is also unfair for a person to not beable to be satisfied in the way they desire. If you don't do it...someone else will. this is just an example.

Many people aren't sexually compatible. You can "TALK" about sex "HYPOTHETICALLY" till your sacks are blue, but all my fornicators out there know... sex TALK and ACTION are TOTALLY different. Ladies especially should feel me on that one.

Nevertheless, I think you should work out your issues while you're dating and not committed(trapped). You all can see if you are sexually compatible and if you all can satisfy each other. Sexual gratification is a big issue with women and one of the main causes for them to "roam" too (don't sleep). Once you know that you can have great sex with your partner then that is one MILESTONE in marriage that you have less to worry about. Of course there are other elements like trust, common interests, compassion, etc., but we're talking about sex. Just because you have great sex dating, doesn't mean its smooth sailing in marriage, but you will at least discover what the other person is willing/not willing to do. You will discover their issues and work thru them (if they can be worked thru). You will get a feel for them sexually.

I look back to some of my past episodes and all the issues that some of my sexual partners had, their restrictions, inhibitions, and inabilities. I can only imagine how miserable I would be if I was locked into a marriage with these women. Some were really nice. But lets not kid ourselves. Sex is IMPORTANT. I don't care how nice and sweet you are, if we aren't sexually compatible It WOUNT WORK. I'd rather roam as a bachelor then roam as somebodies husband...its sounds foul...but THATS REAL!!!!!!!

I think me and APhiAce is reading from the same book... so many truths in his statement, I couldn't have said them better myself, especially...

"Women and men have alot of issues when it comes to sex. In my adventures in fornication have found that out. Alot of these issues aren't solvable. Some of these issues take a long time to resolve, and some people don't WANT to resolve these issues. For example, I know some women who don't like giving oral sex. I know men who don't and won't as well. The fact is many MANY MANY people enjoy recieving this kind of pleasure. If you can only be intimate with one person forever (marriage vows) and they woun't do this...you will be unhappy, resentful, and want to roam. Forget all that "understanding" stuff. It is unfair to demand someone to perform a sexual act they are against. It is also unfair for a person to not beable to be satisfied in the way they desire. If you don't do it...someone else will. this is just an example."


So I guess now the real question is how many of us talk to our women (or for the ladies, how many of you talk to the men) about what you expect from sex. I make it a requirement that all women who I have the potential to be ACTIVE with share with me what they like and don't like and I do the same. I ain't no mind reader and I'm not going to do ERE'Ding so that needs to be discussed up front. I also tend to let them no that I'm anti-abortion so if I help make the baby... SHE KEEPING IT.

This way, it won't be no chit later on.

112

Well, if "she keeping it," I trust that you will be a responsible father and you "supporting it." ;)

Re: Re: How about Oral Sex
 

But some believe that oral sex is a complete sin even in marriage

APHIACE's comments are intersting to say the least. He seems to think that sex is about a physical compatability or ability to gratify yourself and your partner in a relationship.(Can you satisfy me, can I satisfy you PHYSICALLY). I know that many times, that's how we in America are socialized to view sex, as a commodity that we exchange in order to estimate the value of a person. From this we get statements like "Test drive" and "taste the milk before you buy the cow" these things are done in a market place of commodities. It's a shame because sex is soooo much more than than. Let's look at God , the first being to every have sex!!!

In creation, God is said to have made mankind in his own image and likeness, even stating in Gen 1:27 that he created them "Male and Female" we see here that if male and female are created in God's image, then male and female must be in God. Later on, when describing how Adam and Eve would relate to each other, it is written that "a man will leave his father mother an be united with his wife and the two will become one body"(2:24) we see here that the love that is shared by Adam and Eve will give them metaphorically one body, but in God there is literally a union of the genders, male and female. And from this union in love, creation was created. God made Love to God and from that love came for human life, beauty, more love, "the earth and the fulness thereof", knowlegde, EVERYTHING. Therefore, when a man and a woman come together, in love, making love, the potential to create life is there, but more importantly, we are as close to essence of God that we will ever be (worship in the ultimate sense of the word). So when we see sex reduced to mere musings of physical gratification and "compatibility" it is just evidence of how far we have fallen from the divine destiny that God wants for us.

I, as a married man, understand the importance of sex in married relationships. But let's not limit sex to the physical compatibility issue, more importantly, sex reveals to each partner things that only God knows about that person. The connection made is on a spiritual level, for you are only joined physically for a short while, spiritually, the union is not broken, even in divorce (that is why Jesus taught that divorce was not from God, but from Moses due to the hardenss of people's hearts.) I say married because of the vows that you take when you marry state that this union that you are about to enter is until death do you part, but many of us know that love surpasses death, (do you stop loving a deceased loved one?) that 's because love is the most powerful force on the planet. The marriage contract is a social one, the marriage covenant is a spiritual contract that hits at our relationship with God. That means it endures forever, or until we meet God in that Glorious day of rapture, where all relationships will be lifted to the intmacy of oneness with God. Sex consumates this covenant, uniting people at their most intimate level, spiritually.
Just my 2 cents

I am not a religious person. I see nothing wrong with having sex before you are married if you are prepared to handle the emotional repercussions.

Casual sex though, seems pointless to me. You can't tell me that you can be comfortable in that situation or that it would be a lot of 'fun' if fun is what you were looking for.

One last point: I have to agree with Ideal08. I do NOT want to get married and then discover that my man won't do x,y, or z in bed, or has some weird fantasy that I am not comfortable with. I don't want to get married and come out feeling like "this is it?" Granted for some sex is not about 'fun', but it really really should be a part of it. If you are not enjoying it regardless of who you are with then there is a problem. And just because you love someone doesn't mean that they will be able to bring you great joy in the bedroom - especially if they have some sort of hangup.

Basically, my point is grown folks are going to do what they want and I am not going to judge them for it as long as it is with another consenting adult. I expect the same courtesy from others but if they can't give it then oh well too bad, so sad, I won't care anyway, lol.

And to OneOneTwo- what exactly would you do to keep the woman from having an abortion? Chain her to the bed? I hope you wrap it up eeeevery time cause I would hate to find you in a bad situation caused by carelessness. Pregnancy is not the only thing you can catch.