Too young for a sorority?
 

My friend (from another school) has a 14/15-year-old sister who was supposedly being homeschooled up until this semester. (I say supposedly because she hardly ever seemed to be doing any work!) Over the holidays, she decided she wanted to go to the local university, the one that my friend goes to. Since that university's admission policy basically only requires that you be a living, breathing human, she got in. Welllll...since then, she's been partying a lot and recently she mentioned something to me about wanting to join a sorority. In fact, she told me that one certain sorority had already bid her. I don't think she's joined yet, but just for my peace of mind, do you think any sorority would actually allow members that young? It just seems so strange to me! True, that campus has only local sororities, I'm pretty sure, so they may do things differently. I hear they party A LOT--which I've been to a few parties up there and that seems to be the case. I'm just scared that this girl is going to get in over her head...she's hanging around college-age people, and she isn't even old enough to drive yet! She's a really nice kid, though, and that's why I'm a little worried. I can't just go up to her parents and be all, "Hello, are you CRAZY?" They don't really seem to be that concerned about what she does, so it pretty much falls on my friend (her brother) to watch her but that doesn't make me feel any better! :p

So anyway, what do you all think about this?

Since the sororities are apparently all local, I don't know if the same rules would apply to them as would to national organizations, but that still doesn't mean it's a good idea. I wouldn't personally bid a 14/15 year old unless that person was some kind of prodigy. Then again, in the history of my fraternity, some of the most notable and well-thought-of alumni (i.e. Bunting Brothers, etc.) were young when they joined. Of course, this was in the mid to late 1800s at the time. These days it probably wouldn't work quite as well.

Something else...
 

Oops, I forgot to mention that even though I love this girl, she 1) isn't exactly a prodigy, and 2) she seems to think Greek life is all about partying. She grew up in another country, so she wasn't exposed to it much until she came here, and then the example set by the groups at that university probably isn't the best.

ok I know that we had a situation like this in my house.. there was an awesome girl that we liked but she was 17, we couldn't bid her due to insurance reasons/ liablity so I think that no national sorority woudl be her for that reason but I mean if she is a local then I don't know what their policy... also it is sad that she sees greeks only as party animals when rather that is NOT what we are about.. sure we all go out and have fun but honestly does she think that there would be 150+ year old organizations that are based on Partying? I wish her the best of luck and please keep us posted :)

My chapter has bid many 17 year old girls. I really cant see us going any younger though. These 17 year olds had either skipped a grade or had really late birthdays, so they were about the same maturity level as the 18 year old girls. 16 and younger just sounds too young.

We had a member who joined at the age of 16. She had a regular h.s. diploma and graduated from college in two years and went to law school at 18. She didn't work out for the sorority, although not because she was immature and partied too much. She just spent so much time on her classes that she didn't have enough left for the chapter.

I don't think the age HAS to be a problem - it depends on the girl. Especially if she was home schooled she may have been more sheltered than most teenagers and is now doing the "I'm on my own and I'm going to have fun and do what my parents didn't want me to" thing that _lots_ of freshmen do, home-schooled or not.

So I think her maturity, not her age, is cause for concern. Although it's hardly unusual for a 14 or 15 year old to be less mature than an 18 year old.

I pledged when I was 17, without a problem. I don't see a problem with bidding a mature 17- or even 16-year-old. I wouldn't go any younger than that, though.

Age Ain't Nothin But A Number
 

Hey Everyone!!!! Representing alpha Kappa Delta Phi!
Well, I was a 17 year old freshman when I pledged my sorority, however I don't believe this experience can be one applied to everyone. Pledging regardless of age is something to be taken seriously and really depends on the person. Through my two and a half years of being an Active member, I have seen some 21 year olds with less drive than 17 or 18 year olds. I believe that this girl seems to be misled from your description, and regardless of her age, that needs to be your main concern in giving her a bid. However, in the future if a 15/16 year old presents a strong enough desire, sense of knowledge, and sense of direction, who are you to say that he/she can't handle pledging... Perhaps your strongest member may also be your youngest member... For reference, I was an 18 year old President of my chapter... That just shows you that AGE AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A NUMBER!
In eternal Love and Friendship!
Brown Suga

I am pretty sure National Security Advisor Condeleeza Rice joined Alpha Chi Omega when she was only 15 or 16 but from what I have heard, she was indeed a prodigy. More often than not, a 14 or 15 year old simply wouldn't fit into a college sorority. She'd simply be too young.

Wow, going from homeschooling to college at 15 with visions of parties dancing in her head. Talk about going from the frying pan into the fire!

We had a girl who was 16 when she pledged (she had lived in other countries and had a normal hs. diploma, but she didn't even have her drivers liscense yet!) but it worked out really bad for her. While she clicked with lots of her pledge sisters who were 17 and up, she had trouble bonding with the older sisters. By the end of her sophmore year she ended up "de-sistering", mostly because she didn't want to follow the sororities rules and regs about drinking and stuff like that. She also never wanted to do anything but PARTY. I think, in the end, she never graduated from college.

From this experience, I just don't think that some 16 years olds are in the right mindset to join an organization.

We have pledged several 16 year olds (including one of my littles) and it hasn't been a problem. The thing is that you have to evaluate each person as an individual. For instance, I have met lots of 18 year olds that were way less mature than some 16 year olds...it all depends.

I figure the best thing to do is try and "educate" her about sororities. She doesn't seem to know anything about them except for the fact that they wear letters and drink (not all--I'm talking about the ones at her school!), and even though I really like the girl, I do not think she would want to join one if she knew the commitment involved. That isn't her fault, though. I don't think her brother is very active in his fraternity, except when the kegs come out (that makes him sound bad, but he's really not), so that's probably where she gets a lot of her ideas. She just seems very naive to me, and I'm afraid she's going to get into trouble. I just think the whole situation is a little bizarre (she should be going to the prom, for crying out loud, not to university!), but that's just me.

I have recently worked with a chapter that pledged a girl who was 15. Tri Sigma has no rules or age limits. That would be considered discrimination. Anyway, this girl lived in Arkansas and went to school there...she was very smart intellectually, and graduated H.S. in 2 1/2 years. She went to college, pledged and became Recruitment Director her sophomore year. She was 16 then, partying some, going to school...doing ok, but that year it just hit her. She missed Prom, she missed her friends and felt out of place. So, she went back home and said she'd be back in college when she was a little older. The pressure just got to her.

well Im 17 now and had I gone to school as soon as I graduated I might have pledged at 16 but I waited before going to school. I don't find anything wrong with pledging anyone thats like 16 or 17. 15 may be a bit young but they can be pretty mature too. I know a 15 yr old thats very mature. but then again it all depends. it may be harder for someone younger than 16 b/c of not being able to drive and things like that but other than that I dont see anything wrong with it.


nichole

True one may make the comment that age is just a number and yes thats all it is...but maturity has everything to do with it.

You cant distcriminate on age , but I think a certain level of life experience is needed before one really understands the coolness (hehehe ok) of sisterhood. At 15 and homeschooled, reguardless of all the partying she does know to catch up, she doesn't have enough social skills or any concept of social responsiblity.

And if she is attending college so early academics should be her main concern...not a social life...

Besides all this...how does anyone our age relate to a 15 year old? Plus I wonder how her mother feels since she still is responible for her as a minor.

When I pledged, two of my pledge sisters were 17. They were the youngest sisters in the sorority for three semesters. We pledged the last semester that first semester freshmen were allowed. Under 17 seems a little too young to me to commit to a lifetime of sisterhood especially if her idea of a sorority is an endless party. :p

i think there is a ton of differences between someone who is 14 or 15 than someone who is 17. since you keep stressing that she enjoys partying a whole lot - doesnt really seem like quality sister material in my eyes. yeah everyone likes to party , but when it comes down to it, and i need the advice/comfort/help/whatever from a sister, going to someone who is 14 or 15 seems absurd to me.

How do her parents feel about all this? I know that if I were a parent, I wouldn't want my 15 year old daughter hanging out at frat parties. Talk about a disaster waiting to happen! :eek:

volgirl2376 i think there is a ton of differences between someone who is 14 or 15 than someone who is 17. since you keep stressing that she enjoys partying a whole lot - doesnt really seem like quality sister material in my eyes. yeah everyone likes to party , but when it comes down to it, and i need the advice/comfort/help/whatever from a sister, going to someone who is 14 or 15 seems absurd to me.
I'm with you on this one! This is asking for trouble. I too was a YOUNG 17 when I pledged, but EVERYONE seemed "younger" then. Yes, there will always be exceptions, but from the descriptin given, this particular girl is walking jail bait consuming livations underage. This will go on for HOW MANY YEARS???

To put her into a situation with mature young women SEEMS to be more than she can handle at this point in her life. To throw hormonal fraternity guys into the mix...

exactly justamom! i mean for a girl who is 14 or 15 who loves to party...what if she "partied" with some fraternity man who wasnt aware of her age - he came to the party and figured everyone there was almost 18 and up. Her parents press charges...lives are ruined....bad situation!!!

I feel like I can't say too much more about this on a public forum because this is my friend's family, after all, and I think they're nice people. But one of the things that makes me worry the most is that she hardly has any parental supervision...they run a business and are busy most of the time, so she's pretty much on her own. She still lives at home, but since the family doesn't close the business until after midnight, she's used to staying out late and I guess no one thinks anything of it. It's hard to explain without saying much...you can PM me if you want, because it's sort of complicated!

I guess the point of this thread is that I am worried about her because she seems to young for this, and the fact that she didn't even finish middle school doesn't make me feel better!

you know - i dont think any sorority (local or national) in their right mind would extend a bid to a 14 or 15 yr old girl....one who hasnt finished middle school. i could see a 17 yr old...or even a very bright 16 yr old who finished high school and was involved in lots of activities. i know this girl is a family friend, but she sounds like she is nothing but trouble waiting to happen. i dont want that to hurt your feelings...in any way, im just giving you my .02 cents!

I agree with volgirl. It sounds like giving this girl a bid would be very bad for her and the organization.

While going down to the Chapter on visits, I met this very sweet young lady who always hung at the Parties! I asked her what Soro she belonged to and she told me she was a Senior in HS!

While pretty as a button ( Remember JMOM ) I politltly told her not to come around until she became of some age!

Have not seen her since and miss her! Wonder what she grew up to be!:confused:

Re: Something else...
 

UM....Two Words: RED FLAG. This is a disaster waiting to happen, and it WILL happen.

I can say with complete confidence that it's definitely not the right time for her to join a sorority. As we all know by now, sororities are not all about partying. I remember being really surprised and impressed by the level of responsibility I came into by joining. It was hard work at times! Yes, we had a ton of fun too, but her assumptions are indicative of her lack of maturity. I'm not saying that as an insult, I mean, come on!! - she's young! She should be flirting with high school boys and going to school dances, or whatever 15 year olds do~.....Now, when she gets closer to 18, maybe she'll have a better idea of what sorority is really about. Personally, I can't help but wonder what on earth her parents are thinking in sending her to college at such a young age, but I'll get off my soap box.

If you really care about her well-being, have a candid chat.... and more importantly, I would also consider contacting the Panhellenic Director at her school and give her a big heads up. For me, this has nothing to do with age discrimination - in this case it has to do with a huge liability, a complete lack of maturity, and a lack of genuine interest in the concept of sisterhood and philanthropy! Decision are made to cut girls/women for a wide variety of reasons - logical/illogical/fair/unfair...I can't think of any sorority I've ever come into contact with that would want ANYONE, regardless of age, who just wanted to party. Furthermore, I highly doubt that this girl is even able to comprehend the concept of lifelong sisterhood at this point in time. :rolleyes: If she were 16 and had a strong, educated interest, was willing to put in the effort, and could bring something to the organization - that is a completely different story! :)

This may end up resolving itself though - As Volgirl said, no one in their right mind would let such a young girl in! It is the antithesis of responsibility!!!

Good luck and please keep us in the loop.

Two more words: Jail Bait! :p I can just see if we would have told the 20-21 year old guys walking into our mixers "oh by the way, there is a 15 year old here, so mind your P's & Q's"...they would have freaked!

Most of the early entry college types (I mean 13-14, not 16 or 17) I've heard of have very little interest in partying, it's all about studying. I really question whether these parents are sane or know what they're doing. One more argument against homeschooling, IMO...

Not only could guys get in trouble for the whole statutory rape thing, but a chapter that was insane enough to give a person that young a bid could get in heaps of trouble as well. An entire chapter can already get in major trouble for its underage members drinking. Trust me, I have seen it happen. So it would be a bad scenario if they got caught drinking with someone who isn't even old enough to drive!

I really doubt that any sorority, local or national, would give someone so young a bid. So hopefully your worries end right there.

From a guy's perspective worrying about something like statutory rape (which in my state can be defined as loosely as the underaged person removing her socks in the adult's presence from what I understand) is about the last thing I want to deal with at a party. We have enough problems with immature 18+ year olds as it is, why invite trouble?


LHT,
Kevin