Legacy disclosure
 

Apologies if this has been discussed before, but my search didn't turn anything up. My first daughter didn't have my chapter at her school, she had a very nice recruitment and joined the house she loved. That resulted in my younger daughter being a legacy at two chapters at her SEC school. She disclosed her legacy status on the Pan form as requested, and I'm so relieved to say that she also had a good recruitment with full schedules and lots of happiness at the end of the day.

I hear from lots of Moms that their daughter's experience was so different, and they strongly believe that it is foolish to share your legacy status with anyone other than the legacy houses. I'm curious as to how prevalent the issue of being cut hard and early due to legacy status at another chapter on campus really is?

Times have changed. Sororities have to cut so many girls early on that I would not want my daughters' multiple legacy statuses on their recs. Over the past few years, I have known of many PNMs who were cut heavily after first parties (because of their outstanding records, almost certainly due to legacy status). Some of these were cut by their legacy groups after second parties, leaving them nowhere to go.

My understanding of this (from my daughter who is an active in a sorority) is that there is more danger of being cut when one is a legacy multiple times to one sorority (i.e., triple, quadruple legacy status), as in these cases it is assumed hat the loyalties lie to the one chapter and therefore it is a waste of time and energy to recruit someone when there are so many girls of high quality to also consider.

My daughter will go through recruitment next year. So, you guys suggest that her references should not mention her legacy, at all, except to her legacy chapter? Does the same go for other Greek affiliations?

Such as, she has three aunts (my sisters), two are ABC, one is DEF and I am HIJ. We all went to different schools.

I just leave all of that info out of her resume?

Sorta seems sad. . . . .

Thanks!

Since my group has a place for on the rec form, I always include legacy info if I know, whether the pnm includes it or not. I feel like I am lying to my group if I don't.

I do the same. It never occurred to me that legacy info was not being included until I read this thread.

Especially if the PNM is a multi-generational legacy/has a sitting sister at that school I would guess it's better to list the information in the rec and emphasize her open-mindedness rather than leave it up to them to discover this information on their own and draw their own conclusions.

^^^ I agree with everything you said. I think almost everyone's form asks this, so it's not a good idea to hide it.

I like the idea of including her open-mindedness. That works for me. And my daughter. As much as I would love for her to pledge DDD, she and I are both very much aware she needs to be open and find her home.

Thanks!!! :-)

My older daughter pledged in 2006 and my younger in 2009. When we wrote up their resumes, we included ALL of the "alphabet soup" in our family ... great-grandmother, grandmother, mother, aunts, cousins, even father and uncles.

Our thinking was that we wanted every sorority to understand that my girls came from a very strong Greek background. We thought it was important for every chapter they visited to know up front that the commitment about to be undertaken had a long tradition in our family.

Both of my girls had a full dance card each round. My advice is to not hide your stripes.

We did the same...proud of being a strong Greek family. I know that many don't agree with this position, some say due to a painful experience. It's so competitive now and the PNM groups are so big, it does make some sense that legacy status in another house could become another factor in narrowing the field. I had two girls this year specifically request that I not include legacy info on my rec form for them (both SEC schools). I would assume the size and competitiveness of the recruitment in question plays a big role in whether or not this is a thing.

I wonder if some girls do not want it included because they do not view that particular chapter as being strong/'top tier' on their campus. Either way, I would say include it and emphasize the candidate's open mindedness. Since sororities are more successful when the actives stay involved, I would think a strong Greek background would be a plus and an indication of dedication and knowledge of what is expected.

Yes. Leave all of that out of her resume and any forms she has to fill out. You and your sisters should make sure that you turn in legacy forms or rec forms to your sororities. (Not all sororities recognize nieces as a legacy.) That way she gets the benefit of legacy status at her legacy sororites, without scaring off any other chapters that she might be intereted in.

If your PNM pool is so full of your own legacies that you have to cut some, you don't really care about other people's legacies.

As a parent or a PNM, I'd just leave that space on the form blank. If I am writing an alumna rec, I list all the legacies of a PNM, but state whether or not she is open minded.

My daughter is going through recruitment next week. We listed both legacy chapters on her resume. She is a legacy through grandmothers and great-grandmothers. We talked about leaving this information off the resume and decided to be honest and include it. I'll let you know later if it was a good or bad idea!

I hate this frame. A resume is an opportunity to present your case. You put stuff on it that makes your best case and leave off stuff that hurts your case. Leaving off legacy information isn't dishonest. It's just making sure you are stating your best case for membership.

If a form asks the question and you don't answer, you aren't lying. You declining to answer. Frankly, I think that question should not be asked since it is harmful to PNMs in the current environment. We used to ask to make sure that legacies got the special attention they deserved. It was designed to make sure that legacies came to the attention of their legacy chapter. It was a helpful question, not a harmful. I don't find it dishonest to decline to answer a question when legacy information really is only the business of the PNM's legacy chapter(s).

Asking if someone is a legacy is like asking how much money their Daddy makes or where I go to church. The chapters might be interested in that information, but they really don't deserve an answer to the question. If I need to you know that, I'll tell you. Otherwise, I'm not answering the question.

I agree with you now that I'm much better informed, KDCat. I believe that sharing legacy status, other than with legacy chapters, is never a positive and more often than not is a very significant negative. It gives chapters with historically strong recruitment another reason to cut a PNM, as they don't want to assume any known risk linked to the bids they send out at the end of the day. With PMN groups that are 1000 -2500 girls strong, they'll have multiple girls that look fabulous for each coveted spot. If one of those great PNMs is known to be a legacy at one or more houses (or worse, a double or triple legacy), they are the great girl who is going to get cut.

It makes sense from a practical perspective. Even with PNMs who have an open mind, chapters know that if the girl prefs two or three houses inclusive of the legacy house, there is a good chance that the girl will be at the top of the legacy chapters list resulting in a likely match, even if the PNM didn't rank them first. Others that know this process better than I, please correct me if I'm off base here.

This is a bit of a generalization, of course, but something to keep in mind. I was happy to honor requests not to include legacy info on recs. I often leave SAT and ACT info off as well, if that is not provided to me.

That's not how bid matching works. If a PNM ranks a group first and they are high enough on that group's list, they go to their first choice. If they are not high enough on the first group's list, they would go to another group or be a QA in some cases.

Yes, the PNM is matched to her choices not the chapter to the woman.

Understood, thanks.

Is this really even an issue outside of a dozen or so campuses that are steeped in tradition? It is so totally outside my frame of reference I am having a hard time even imagining it.

I know our form asks for greek affiliation of parents, but so far I've never written for a woman who comes from a strong greek family.

I know at least at my smaller, less competitive, West Coast school it's kind of a "thing" to see who can "steal" legacies - all in good fun, of course, but a girl's legacy status wouldn't count against her - if we wanted her, we might fight even harder.

I am torn on the topic. We disclosed all legacies for both DD's and I think I would still do it again but I think having a sitting sister at the same school (a mildly competitive school) was actually more challenging for my younger DD. Sisters of sitting sisters/recent grads almost exclusive pledge their sister's house. In my younger DD case it did turn out to be a good fit in the long run but how awkward is it to be asked at a non-legacy house that has been at the top of your list "So are you and your sister friends?" That's a no win question. Yes translates to some as I want to pledge her house and No can mark you as a girl with all kinds of potential drama.