Retro Recruitment as we wait . . .
 

Hello, All!

I've been quite the lurker since my oldest went off to college in 2009. My oldest never considered Greek life, but my second, has been quite the Greek, serving as social chair, treasurer, IFC rep and IFC president. His senior year, he was chosen as outstanding Greek Man (!) and is now in grad school for Higher Education Management specifically, Student Activities! So, now he's learning to be a Greek Advisor!!

He felt that my own recruitment was a story that this forum would enjoy - - it's got everything. The GOOD, the BAD and the UGLY, about recruitment. So, as we wait for those NEW stories . . . here is a retro-recruitment story using the 90s Girl Group, The Spice Girls, to represent the GLOs on campus.

They are:

Posh – Very well dressed and elegant.
Sporty – VERY competitive and have a real “team” approach to sisterhood.
Baby – Very “Girly-Girl” and Cute. Very friendly
Ginger – The “Non-Sorority” Girl's Sorority; independent and bookish.
Scary – Nice sweet ladies, but definitely SCARY

(Of course, these groups had all kinds of wonderful ladies - but, as a PNM, “street rep” is everything)

My school was not very large (about 1200) and the Greek system compromised a little more than 1/3 of the women. Recruitment was held towards the end of October, after Homecoming. This gave the ladies a few weeks to size each other up – and enough time to pigeonhole (from BOTH sides) the ladies on the rankings and desirability.

The GLOs each had chapter houses, but no living-in. (We were told that old urban myth about brothels.) We would get to see the houses during House Tours.

An important thing to know was that my own sister was an officer in one of these groups and she took “the silence rule” VERY seriously. She was not (and still isn't) much of a gossip queen, so she had never made comments about the GLO personalities and she hadn't shared much about her own recruitment or membership with me. We lived on different sides of the campus and really didn't meet up often prior to recruitment, so I felt free of pre-recruitment bias.

I knew I wanted to join a GLO from the moment I had been accepted at the school. I was one of those ladies smitten with the idea of being in a sisterhood. Plus, this school was 3rd (!) choice on my list when I applied to colleges; I had been rejected by my first choice and wait-listed by my second choice. Those schools didn't have GLOs and I was going to dive into the culture of this school. (This should be a hint that I was well acquainted with rejection – In HS I was cut from football cheer squad my Jr year and the basketball dance squad my Sr year; I ran for SGA each year – never won) I did have a 3.98 GPA and was in the orchestra (clarinet) and choir. I also did community service as a “candy stripe girl” at the local hospital and competed in western seat horseback riding and barrel racing. I thought I was well-rounded and desirable.

EVERYONE will LOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEE me!! (Right?)

More Spice!
 

Recruitment 'started' the first week of school with a BBQ cookout in the “Sorority Yard”. (All of the houses (except 1) were next-door to each other on pie-shaped lots that backed up to a common backyard. One was directly across on the same street.) I signed up and went with a group of my floormates to check out the groups. I lived in the “sorority dorm” with many sophomores. I had chosen this dorm especially to meet these members. As I remember, we had a nice time and met many nice girls.

I wasn't surprised that my roommate wasn't at the BBQ as she had professed a disinterest in anything Greek (actually, anything extra-curricular). Those groups were exclusionary and haughty she had informed me. She wasn't (IMHO) a good candidate – she was a mediocre student, wasn't interested in ANY clubs or groups and (worst of all) she never took any care with her appearance; she never fixed her hair, wore make-up, shaved her legs or underarms or took daily showers (!). She smoked and REALLY liked guys and pot. What she didn't tell me was that she was a triple legacy to one (mother, sister and grandmother!) and her family was giving her the squeeze.

After the BBQ the next “event” was a “Powder Puff” flag football league that was formed by dorms. Having always loved football (my brothers and dad played in college) I was certainly excited. This wasn't a PanHel event, but as my dorm was 90% greek, it certainly was a way to “rush”. What I learned was that my dorm was mostly Posh, Sporty with a few Babys – but no Gingers or Scarys. I learned those Sportys were SERIOUS about winning. The Poshs seemed always worried about getting dirty and the Babys were the most supportive of everyone.

You just made my day :D

Yippee!!!!

Houses!
 

Plenty happened those first few months of college - - some was probably not the best decisions I'd ever made (like flirting up that cute frat guy - - who turned out to be the boyfriend of a Sporty). But, college IS a learning experience - and I learned a lot!

On to the House Tours!

The GLOs had shined up their houses for inspection – and there was to be no food or handouts or videos or tape recorded songs. Only their “Leaders Council” and the members of their House Committee could be in the house. We went to each of the houses for 20 minutes and then on to the next. We were not given 'tours', but the actives were stationed around the house to answer questions ABOUT THE HOUSE.

Each house consisted of a chapter room for meetings (large enough for at least 60 seated women – that was house limit.) a TV / study room, a kitchen, a patio overlooking “Sorority Yard”, bathrooms and, perhaps, a committee meeting room. The houses were not huge, but nice.

Here is what I remember:

Posh: Stunning house filled with antiques and Asian rugs. Highest quality tables, chairs, sofas, lamps dominated the lofted Chapter room. In short, it looked like a showroom. They had a 2-story house. Their upstairs TV room was open to the chapter room below and their upstairs study room had a deck where you could sunbathe facing the yard.

Sporty: Large meeting room with TONS of chairs, small fireplace. Large TV room with new TV. Many HUGE filled-up trophy cases. Large framed composite photos dominated every wall dating back decades. Beautiful outside patio area.

Baby: Another large meeting room with a few couches and TONS of pillows. They said they often sat on the floor or on floor cushions. Inspirational posters covered their walls. Upstairs were study/committee meeting room. They had the cutest bathrooms – somewhere, they found wall paper with their adorable mascot - it was to-die-for!!

Ginger: Their exceptionally large meeting room had a lofted ceiling. It was filled with sectional couches that could be rearranged to seat 1, 2, 3, or 4 at one time. One long wall had a large stone fireplace and huge window seats flanking each side. The small TV room had an old TV and a couch and club chair. The small entry hall was covered in black flocked silver wallpaper.

Scary: OUTSTANDING house! Double front doors that swung out on a sitting porch and opened into a sunken chapter room with a cathedral ceiling. A floor-to-ceiling rock fireplace with a hearth stretching 10 feet in both direction dominated one corner. Spiral staircases that led upstairs to their TV and study rooms. Beautiful furniture.

After talking among ourselves, we decided that Scary had the best house, Posh had a house like our grandmother's, Sporty house was OK and Baby and Ginger needed the most work. But, were we joining a group for their HOUSE?

The week after Homecoming, Recruitment started in earnest. The parties were as follows:

Friday: Chapter Night. Cookies/Punch only.
Saturday: Skit Night. More Elaborate Food.
Sunday: Preference Parties: VERY Elaborate Food.

There would be only one round of releases – after the skits. PNM could only attend 2 Sunday parties.

Monday: Bids given out and House Parties.

It was going to be an exciting week! We were divided into our groups by dorm floors with our RA s (Resident Advisers) and Pan delegates serving as Rho Chi's. About 150 ladies signed up for recruitment including about 20 sophomores. Among the ladies in my group were Tish and Deb ( they were roommates), Kathy (a HS friend of mine), Sandy (a new friend) and . . . . MY ROOMMATE????? Wait. She was anti-GLO - - Huh?

Yes, my hippie holdout, anti-establishment, pot-smoking roommate was going through recruitment. “It's all my family,” she admitted. “They want me to at least try it out.” All I can remember thinking was, “This won't be pretty.” And it wasn't, in more ways than one.

I am thinking roomie is a Posh legacy and ends up being all about Posh. Wouldn't that's be ironic?

Oooooo.

The 30 minute Chapter Party was to introduce the philanthropy, chapter history, accomplishments and meet some members.

We were waiting outside the Posh house as we heard them singing a soft low song about their GLO. Then we realized that a group had walked up behind us to serenade us from behind. I thought it was clever the way they startled us like that. One of the singers stepped forward to call out a girl's name and they proceeded to call-out their “pick-ups”. We entered the house to another song and were served snacks as they talked to us individually about their philanthropy work and chapter traditions. I didn't know my “pick-ups” but thought they were just the type of woman I wanted to be, traditional, ladylike and serene. Another song started and we were escorted out.

“Wow!” I told Kathy (remember, I had known her in HS!). “They're so elegant, I could really see myself there.” “Really?” she answered. “Because elegant is not exactly how I'd describe you,” she continued. “You're outgoing and funny. You enjoy dancing and outdoorsy things. You're a great friend. But, not stuffy and old fashioned like they are.”

Hmmmm. Did I see those things in myself? Or, was I trying too hard to fit myself into their cookie-cutter "image" because of the gossip that they were the most selective (ie, better)?

Trish and Deb thought they were archetypical 50s sorority-types, complete with pearls, but also could see themselves as members. Sandy remained unimpressed.

I remember as we were lining up outside the Sporty house, Trish leaned over and squeezed my hand. “I'm so in love with this group,” she whispered. She had been trying since the first day to impress Sporty. She had joined the football league – but wasn't athletic so didn't get much playing time. She always waved and greeted the members she knew. She was really infatuated with them. It was a bit of overkill and painfully obvious. She was also socially awkward and rather opinionated – this was going to be brutal for her.

We were taken inside Sporty to loud clapping and singing. That was a novel experience for me. I found myself picked-up with the girl who'd been the coach of our football team. After a few pleasantries about her great coaching and my athletic abilities she pointed out the trophy cases. “We win everything,” she stated. And it certainly looked like it! Their display was filled with trophies from Greek Week, Intramural sports, All Sing and Campus Skit Night. WOW! I don't remember their philanthropy, but I'm sure they had a trophy for that too. I was passed off to another girl I knew from my dorm, had a snack and then out the door. As we walked out and headed to the next house Trish was ecstatic and Deb was impressed, and I was really liking them. Even Sandy and Kathy were impressed.

Can't wait for more! :D :D

On to the Baby House! They were so much fun!

They opened the door and spilled out onto their porch singing a pop song with the words changed to their Greek Letters. The laughing and giggling never stopped with my pick-up. She lived on my floor and I fell a little in love. (OK, a LOT in love) After seating me with my snacks they had a large presentation to all about “What it meant to be a Baby”. I lapped it up.

I love, love, loved their philanthropy. I had even raised money for this group in High School. Oh, my! Yes!! NOW, I understood what Kathy meant about the Posh house. THIS was my new crush! They sang, they chanted, they clapped - - and they were so ADORABLE doing it!

Kathy also had a great party - - We left singing along to their exit tune (another well known pop tune) and I squeeeeeeled, "They're FAAAAAN-TAAAAS-TIC!!"

Sandy, Deb and Trish remained reserved. How could they NOT just be CRAAAZY about them????

“Too Baby-fied” was their answer. OK, I'll take that. I want to be “Baby-fied”!

What a fun read!

(Thank you FSUZeta, my English major son helped me edit)

The Gingers were up next.

The Un-Sorority girls didn't wear matching letter-tees like the Sportys, or pearls and twin-sets like the Poshes, OR cute same color dresses like the Babys; no, they had on . . . everyday jeans and tops. Not even in their GLO jerseys. (I doubted they even owned them.)

Whaaat?

We just filed in (no pick-ups!) and were seated while they introduced themselves as “the sorority for non-sorority women”. We were told all about their high-as-the-sky campus GPA, highest grad school admission rate, most leadership position in SGA and clubs, most PhiBetaKappa, Mortar Board and ODK memberships, bla, bla, BLAAA! Then, they took us to look at displays for their philanthropy and Chapter History. Then we were sung out the door.

“No, no, no!” I was emphatic. “I want to wear letters and sing cute songs!” But Sandy liked them. “I'm here for an education,” she stated. “And they are too; their focus is grades and leadership.” Kathy put her arm around me, hugged me and softly whispered that her feelings were the same as mine. Trish and Deb rolled their eyes. “Who wants to be a member of a group that isn't a group?”

I. AM. ADDICTED!!!!!

Finally . . we come to the Scary house!







Now YOU can learn WHAT it was that made them SCARY.










After years of falling numbers, they hadn't taken a single member the previous year! There were only 8 of them left on campus. Now, this was NOT due to some rule violation or social probation – no, they were wonderful sweethearts! They had what I now recognize as a “weak recruitment skills” chapter. Nice ladies who didn't have good leadership or strong interpersonal skills. And THIS is the reason NPC made such a good move with the RFM recruitment.

Then, the doors swung open to reveal two dozen drop-dead gorgeous women singing songs and we were welcomed into their beautiful, beautiful house. They had invited a stellar chapter from another school to help them with recruitment, it seemed a little disingenuous to us.


(But, what did we know? We were PNMs!)



They sang and clapped and praised their philanthropy, but it made no difference. We were silent as we left – really there was nothing to say. We all knew they were dying.

Later that night I got together with my roommate to ask her what she thought.

“It's all a bunch of bunk,” she said. “I can't believe my family is forcing me to go through this!”

She was impressed only with the non-sorority Gingers. “If only they weren't so intellectual and bookish.” (She hated studying) “Maybe,” she mused, “I should just join the Scary house. I could do what I want and my family can't say I didn't join a group.”

I was mortified. Weren't you supposed to be a sister and love your GLO? Who would join just to pacify someone else?

Loving this! Just what we needed as recruitments kick off!

More please!!!!!

I had made plans to join a study group the next morning in the library. While there, the talk turned to recruitment. That's when I learned the 'facts' from a sophomore gossip girl (incidentally, she had resigned her bid the previous year):

Posh would only take whatever quota would end up being. Posh was the best at recruitment, and they were at house limit already (60) – A poll of the PNM's would have revealed that at least half of them wanted this group.

Sporty was another strong recruitment group. They could take a few more than the projected quota before they reached the house limit of 60.

Baby was a medium recruitment group. Their “girly-girl” attitude was actually a hazard to them. Most college women wanted a more adult attitude by the time thery were upperclasswomen, so members lost interest in a few years. They managed to hit quota most years. (Still, Kathy and I LOVED them.)

Ginger was not as strong a recruitment group – but usually came within 4 or 5 of quota. They projected that alternative ideal of independent strong women. Some did like their attitude.

Scary was toast. We all knew it.

The skits started up that night! The skits were all based on Broadway musicals. I was so excited! I had been in the choir in HS and we had sung Broadway songs all the time. Plus, I participated in the Drama Club and we had done musicals every spring. There would be little time to talk to the members as they would hand us snacks, seat us and start the show.

I couldn't wait.

Posh: Once again, they surprised us by covering the upstairs opening to their TV room with a curtain. While we were seated in the chapter room, the curtain opened up with all of the Posh ladies crammed into the opening. They were all dressed as Victorian “Newsy-girls” and they sang songs to an awed audience. The way they cleverly used their open upstairs in the skit was amazing and one member was even raised up on a swing to the higher level, while singing!

No wonder they were considered the top recruiters!

Sporty: Their show had an 1950's theme, complete with poodle skirts and a soda shop. The “non-skit members” were dressed as waitresses and we were served milkshakes! I still could see myself in this group. I tried to tell my hostess this, but they had to get us out for the next group.

Baby: Once again, SO CUTE! They had a tropical island (Hawaiian) theme. Their costumes were adorable hula skirts and sarongs. I loved it and gushed all over my hostess! In fact, I was mentally picking out my Letter-tee!

Ginger: They had a dark-themed show (Chicago) – and I didn't like it. It wasn't bubbly and fun. They came across tawdry and a little low-life.

Scary: They also did Chicago! Their imported chapter had used it for their own skit. It was much better than Ginger's because it didn't concentrate on the dark-theme. They even had an entire line of tap dancers for the finale (All that Jazz).

At the end of the night I was confidant that I was Baby-bound.

That night was the only round of releases. The PNMs didn't rank; after we received an envelope with cards from our invite chapters, we could only accept 2 parties. You would sign the back of the two cards you accepted and then drop them into a box.

Mentally I ranked them as:

Baby
Sporty/Posh
Ginger
Scary

Hopefully, I would have a perfect round and get to drop Ginger/Scary and THEN I would decide between Sporty/Posh.






As you can guess, it didn't turn out that way.

On Sunday, we sat in the social 'parlor' in our dorm to open our envelopes. Here's how our cards went:



Deb: Posh, Sporty, Baby, Ginger & Scary. She regrets Baby, Ginger & Scary.
Kathy: Posh, Baby, Ginger & Scary. She regrets Ginger & Scary.
Sandy: Ginger & Scary. No regrets allowed.
Me: Ginger & Scary. No regrets allowed.








and,









Roomie: Posh. (her legacy chapter) – even Ginger & Scary released her.









AND don't forget . . . Trish.

This is such fun!

She wasn't there. She was dropped from recruitment. (now, Trish WAS a prickly personality so it wasn't a surprise. But it was sobering.) NOBODY had wanted her. The rumor had been that Scary wouldn't release any PNMs – and Ginger would release very few. But here, in our little group, were 2 who were released from both.)











I was DEVESTATED. What? ANOTHER disappointment.








3rd choice college = Last choice GLO?







Deb (who had the perfect recruitment) tried to console me with the thought that both of my remaining choices were excellent groups with long histories and great chapters elsewhere – but then she regretted those same groups. As an adult, I know she had a great point – but, as a collegian, it hurt.

EVEN my roomie would probably get her legacy chapter – the highest ranked chapter on campus!






Booooo-Hooooo!

Sandy told me to wipe away the tears and understand that I still had choices. (because Trish didn't) AND, it is what you do with those choices that show your strengths.

(Wasn't she great??)

They handed out schedules and you went to the parties you had invites for. I had the first round at Ginger and the last one at Scary. So, I went to get dressed for the preference parties due to start soon.


While waiting for the party to start at Ginger I realized that most of the PNM's in my group had only accepted Ginger's invitation because they couldn't regret. Well, this was gonna be my best bet for a bid – so I put on my game face and decided to make them LOVE me. Yes! I would be the best Ginger they could hope for.

The door opened and the first person out was . . . . my sister, Lisa. She wrapped her arms around me and welcomed me into their home. Yes, she'd heard that I had my heart set on the Baby house. Her suite-mate was a Baby and had specifically sought Lisa out to tell her I had been released. (Of course, this is not allowed, but it does happen)



Just like she didn't try to influence me before recruitment, she didn't denigrate the Babys either.


“We're so happy you came to our home,” she purred. “You're our #1 PNM! The other Gingers can't wait to call you 'sister' like I do. Your spunky and sassy attitude is just what this chapter needs. Your musicality and dance ability will go far at All Sing, Skit Show and Recruitment. And your GPA fits in perfectly. Here, YOU can be great.”


Then she proceeded to introduce me to her 'other' sisters and they each greeted me with a hug and a whispered, “Be a Ginger”. It was wonderful.

Folks might have thought I'd spend the time between the parties pouting, but I joyously went to the library to study.


At the Scary house later, the imported chapter was gone and only the 8 local members were left. Most PNM's had regretted, if they could. My hostess confirmed that their National Office was going to close their chapter unless they got 15 new members.

No way could they do that.

Their president gave a speech about becoming a member and setting the future course for the chapter, like joining a colony. It was a very sad situation. I remember crying.

I am very much enjoying your story!


And feel badly for the Scary house. What a tough situation for them.

All the PNM's gathered that evening in a large auditorium to sign their intention cards. We had to wait for all the cards to be signed and turned in (or the PNM dropped out) for anyone to be able to leave. It was a nervous crowd.

I SIPed the Gingers – I wasn't taking even the outside chance that I would get the Scarys.

Finally, we were allowed to leave; we were tired and emotionally drained. The next day would reveal our bids! I felt very secure in my choice as I did every time I had run into a disappointment – I would just have to make lemonade out of those lemons!


On Monday afternoon, we were to meet in the parlor room of our dorm to receive our bids. We found out that those PNM's who didn't receive a bid were called earlier and were not there. But, Sandy, Roomie and I didn't get those calls – we were in. So were Kathy and Deb.

Our Rho Chi handed out our bids. Even Roomie was excited.

(Really, those Poshes must have had an exceptional preference party.)

We opened them to loud whoops!


Sandy and I held hands and shouted, "WE'RE SISTERS!!"

Kathy (Baby) and Deb (Sporty) were very happy about their bids!

Even Roomie teared up a bit.

This is why importing a chapter is bad bad bad! No matter how small you are!

They would have been better off to start as they meant to go on and say they were looking for a group of girls to rebuild the chapter, rather than waste the rushees' time talking to women who they didn't even go e school with & come across as looking shady.

Now, let's have a little side trail over to Roomie's story.

She had gone through recruitment under duress and had joined the same way. Her family should have known what would happen – but, they were too intent on her being a different person than she actually was.

To tell the truth, the Posh house had invited her under duress too, as she was a triple legacy. Her family was EXCEPTIONALLY wealthy (think, Paris Hilton-wealthy); I'm sure they donated frequently to the Posh National. She absolutely DID NOT fit into their group. Yet, there she was, sitting on their perfect furniture, make-up free, untamed waist length hair, unshaven legs (and underarms) and (slightly) smelly. Not to mention that she believed in “free love” (oh yes, she used that moniker) and tried to get stoned every day. I'm guessing they didn't want her either.

What to do???

I know the Posh house thought she'd get a preference invite to the other houses and like them better, but the others all released her. As she was a legacy, I'm also sure she had to go on their 1st bid list. Sad, really.

But, I'll have to give the Poshes a hand for trying.

They really went out of their way to be friendly and inclusive. They coated our door with welcome cards and posters. They dragged her to their table in the cafeteria every day. They showered her with gifts. They dropped by the room to visit. (Rah, Rah! Posh!) But, it didn't work. Within a few weeks Roomie resigned her bid. She just WAS NOT GLO material.

Oh, here is my other question. If no one actually lived in the houses, who cleaned them?

It seems weird to have a house no one lives in. I can understand if it's a chapter suite or lodge, but with a townhouse or regular house, I'd think sisters would live there.

33: Oh yeah, we didn't eat in our house - - except for snacks or events. We had designated tables in the cafeteria. Events would have had a cleaning committee.

Our active members 'cleaned' the house every other Sat morning - - or you were fined. (You rotated through vacuuming, dusting, kitchen and bathroom duty)

The Babys/Sportys did the same - - it was rumored the Poshes hired a cleaning service.

Actually, it was fun, you could hear the other ladies' music in "Sorority Yard" and we usually ended up in a party . . .

Jolene: It WAS weird - the house sat silent and empty A LOT. One night a group of us went over to study (I THINK we finally got around to studying!) and totally freaked out campus security.

They didn't know and thought someone was trespassing.

After that, you had to tell the security office that you were there.

I just had a feeling roomie was a Posh legacy. But what happened to the Scary house? Did they close? Or did they get 15 girls?

Oh Yeah, and (this was in the south, so ya'll understand) we had Cockroaches and mice when I first joined - we had to add a line item to our budget for the Exterminator.

He use to tease us with the comment, "Those mice must have little tee-shirts to wear to your meetings . . . they keep coming back!')

(of course, they might get fined)

A few years later his daughter pledged us!

And now, . . . the reveal?







Nope.




There is more to this story.

As you know, before RFM, the weak recruiting chapters usually ended up folding within a few years as they recruited fewer and fewer members, just like what had happened to the Scarys - -

was THAT going to happen to the Gingers?

OR was my pledge class going to start to make a difference?

As we ran over to our new homes, we all noticed how dark and quiet the Scary house was. Then, we knew - - no new members AGAIN. So sad they would be gone soon. (They closed by Christmas and sold their beautiful, beautiful house to the school - today it is incorporated into a newer building as a lobby)

But we had a fantastic time that night.

The frats came by to serenade the new members of each group – so sweet and old fashioned! They had changed their sweetheart songs to be the Greek Letters of each house – Oh, my!

We had to formally sign our new member cards to accept our bids and then we went out to dinner together at a nice Italian restaurant in reserved room.

Later that week we had our first meeting with our Membership Educator who turned out to be my RA!! And I had guessed her to be a Baby!

My membership class had 14 members – 4 of them were sophomores. Quota had been 19. The Gingers were short again.

Here's how it shook out:

Posh: Took exactly quota. Including Roomie.
Sporty: Took a little over quota to reach house limit.
Baby: Took the most new members. Still one short of house limit.
Ginger: Took 14 new members. House at 44 – could take 16 in COB.
Scary – Nobody.

(Turned out, the gossip girl in the library DID know how it would go!)