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From "The Book of Horrible questions"
People do a lot of thinks for money.....
How far would you go? 1) For $100,000: A funeral is taking place. You do not know anyone at the funeral or anyone involved with it. As a family member is making their heartfelt, teary sppech, you must run into the midst of the crowd and yell, "I'M GLAD HE'S DEAD! HA HA HA HA!!" and then run away. Would you do it? 2) For $7,500,000: Your mate will be kidnapped and held hostage in a filthy bed and will be given only the most basic of foods for ONE YEAR. There is a guarantee of no physical harm as well as no sexual contact. When the year is up, YOU will rescue the mate that you profitably condemned and reap all the loving benefits of doing so. No one will ever know you had anything to do with it, and you just made 7.5 million dollars, although you risk the chance that he/she may suffer some degree of recurring trauma (i.e. waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, screaming). Would you do it? 3) For Men:$1,500,000 For Women: $1,000,000: You must attend a hard-core prison for one month with no special protection or provisions. You will have no criminal record when you are released. Would you do it? 4) For men and women $2,000,000: Same as above, except you must do something to piss off the Aryan Brotherhood (for men) or Hell's Angels' sisters (for women). Would you do it? |
Awwww haaaayyyyyyylllllleeeeee naw!
No to every single question on the list. Unequivocally. |
I have to be honest people:
1) Yes. I mean $100,000 is a pretty good sum of money. I figure this has to go down as one of the worst days of the family members' lives...this can't make it much worse. The day is already etched in their minds forever. 2) This one depends on how filthy the bed is. I mean if we're talking some unchanged sheets and dirty pillow cases........He would get the basic of foods (a lot of people don't get that in this world). Anyway, one year is not that long. With the 7.5 million we could always get him some counseling for the trauma that may not even occur. So yes, I would let my man be kidnapped. 3)Yes. One month is not that long. 4) I'd have to say no to this one however. I'm not trying to piss off the Hell's Angels' sisters :eek: for a mere 2 million dollars. Maybe 10 or 20 million. |
Thinking about all the student loans I'm going to have to pay back...
I would spend a month in prison or piss off Hell's Angels sisters. I couldn't do something to cause somebody else pain, though. Like SexyMocha said, a month is not that long in a prison.
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for all of the above...
hmmm... where do i sign up? LMAO
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ONE WORD
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**rubbing hands together** **evil grin** **wicked azz laugh** |
1. no, i couldn't do it. knowing my luck, i'd be haunted by that dead person's spirit until i died. y'all know if it's a funeral for one of us and someone tried a stunt like that, it's gon' be some fighting up in there. i wouldn't even be able to enjoy spending that $100k
2) ditto ct4's response. 3) ok, i'm not even gon' front. i'd have to do something to immediately get put in solitary. the thought of being someone's "toy" in gen pop makes me shudder. if i can't go to solitary, i aint going. why is there a $500k difference between the men and women's take? |
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OH THAT IS JACKED UP. !!!!!!!If it were a funeral for one of my family members, You'll get beat down. and YOU won't be looking to good when they take a picture of you holding your money. *shaking my head* That's messed up, :mad: :D It's funny but it's messed up. Now the second one I could do. We would prolly be having problems anyway, cause of his baby mama, and he prolly turned into a couch potato, getting all fat, and need a diet anyhow. and in that years time, he would have enough time to lose weight, think about what he's taken for granted, and learn to eat healthy. :D :D :D :D :D :D That's my 7.5 million dollars and .00 cents in LMAO:p |
I would definitely let my man be kidnapped (he probably did something that I don't know about to deserve it anyways, lol), and I would say nanny-nanny-boo-boo to the hell's angels sisters. I don't think I would laugh at the funeral (not for 6 figures anyway ;) ), and I would NEVER go to a "hard-core" prison. No one can really understand what prisons are like until you visit them. Trust me I have been to a few, from juvenile detention, to one of the roughest in my state. Even the lightest ones are much worse than people think. No amount of money is worth putting yourself through that. And Novella, the sexual violation factor is the same for women, if not worse. The dynamics of prison relationships are quite interesting.
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I must be a punk because I wouldn't do any of these, especially not three and four. Numbers one and two are just so cruel that I wouldn't be able to live with myself afterwards. To me, money is just not that important. In reality, I don't think I would do any of them.
Is the money tax free? |
LMBAO!!
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1.) HECK NAW!!! That's just not even right, messing up somebody's funeral for your own benefit...But on the other hand... 2.)...Giving your mate nightmares and cold sweats for the rest of his life is a miniscule price to pay for being able to pay off BOTH of your student loans...I would do this one in a minute!!! ;) 3.) I don't know..."Hard-core"...I'm crazy myself, though, so I might be able to handle that one...But I wouldn't want to come out worse than I came in, so no... 4.) Who are the Hell's Angels??? I may do this one, though, unless the Hell's Angels can be found only in "hard-core" prisons... |
Good answer, lovelyivy84!!!!!!!!!
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1. I'd do it because I doubt I'll ever see these people again and there's probably a family member who is thinking the EXACT SAME THING....but can't do it cause they're family
2. I'm not sure about this one. Yes...to get back at him for anything he has done or will do in the future. No...only because I'd miss him terribly. 3. No. Only because I want the same amount the man would get. 4. If it's anything like Oz on HBO...nope. And there's no protection? Oh hell naw!! |
this isht is hilarious!
I KNEW it would be funny, cuz Soror SexyMocha posted it! LMAO!
1) Yep, sure would. I'd feel bad about it, and I'd get over it, but I'd do it. Preferably at a funeral where English isn't spoken. :) 2) Now, I understand that he will have no sex, but what about me?? One year, no cranks? I'm straight. 7.5 mill is a hefty sum of money, and it's quite tempting, but I couldn't do it. The thought of my man in a dirty bed is gross. What if he catch some mess?? Ugh, naw. What if he hangs himself during the year? :( I'm paranoid like that. Hmm, but 7.5 mill is a hefty sum... I might have to think about this a little longer. What is basic foods?? In The Matrix (yall know that's my movie, lol) that mess looked gross, LOL! 3) One month is not that long?? Speak for ya'self!!! HECKEE NAW!!! Nope. No. HEEEEEECK NAW!!! I'm not going to jail, not for a night, not for a week, and dang sure not for a month. Toot-a-loo money, toot-a-f***in'-loo. 4) See #3. |
Lemme tink...
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#2~~ HELL YEA! SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS! That is a lot of money to buy a lot of therapy. 3# ~~ That is a tuffy. I have seen movies about women in prison. The latest HBO movie with "Brownie". I just can't go to jail. 4# ~~ Oh, no. Women shank you like a man would. Oh, no. Can't do it. |
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Women can be sexually violated too. Oh, no. I just can't go to jail. |
Re: Lemme tink...
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Re: this isht is hilarious!
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2.) See...What you do is "crank" with someone else, and pay them to keep their mouth shut about your "cranking sessions" ;), or not, shoot, I would be like "Honey, I thought you were dead! What was I supposed to do?" :o :D...Heeheehee, that's bad too, though...If he catches a disease, well, have him tested before he returns to the sack...That's $7 mil, y'all!!! Well, I ain't got no man right now, so that's my attitude about it!! |
Re: From "The Book of Horrible questions"
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For the luv of $$$
Money isn't everything, but it keeps the kids in touch...
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Re: Re: From "The Book of Horrible questions"
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I found this link on the Federal Bureau of Investigation's Web site: http://foia.fbi.gov/hellsang.htm |
I am too soft
#1) No way... death is a serious issue. I just could not do it. Besides, what if those people at the funeral got mad, followed me, and then tried to kill me or something. In ths day and age folks trip like that!
#2) As a former psych major and degree holder, such an event would be traumatic. Not withstanding the emotional turmoil my "boo" would suffer, would the people holding him captive torture him verbally? Do the sheets have bed lice? Are there vermin and roaches? And deep down inside, he would not be the same man he was when he went it. I could not chance his mental health and the realtionship. The money sounds REALLY REALLY nice, but my honey is priceless. #3) Heck no. I have visited Riker's far too many times to discuss. I would die after day 4. So the money would not even help me ;-) #4) Probably not. Those folks are not even worth my time or enegry, regardless of the amount of money. |
Re: I am too soft
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Re: Re: I am too soft
LOL! I bet. And your Dad had to be super tough cuz Riker's is super-hell!
Riker's is no joke and folks come out of there REALLY messed up, moreso before they went in. Even hard-core criminals dont wanna go there. Ya feel me? Quote:
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I definitely feel your comments, girl!!!!!!!!!!!
I remember in '96 when my father took me, my uncle, and siblings to Dallas, TX to visit my aunt and cousins. The entire time we were there, he was bragging about how he worked at Riker's and would tell people, "You ever heard of Riker's Island? I work there, and it's the biggest detention center in the world." :rolleyes: :p I would sit there like, "Please God save me and the rest of these people from the hot mess that is my father's breath!!!" :eek: :eek: :eek: I could also see some of these people looking at him like, "If he's bragging soooo much about his job, he must make a lot of money. I wonder if he'll spend any of it on me." And you know he did, especially on the neighborhod kids who called him "Uncle Jimmy" just as my cousins did. Don't get me wrong, I had a ball down there and after about 24 hours, I started to sound like them. My father and sisters looked at me like I was nuts and was like, "Don't do that, you don't sound right." I didn't care, I was having fun with my cousins and they liked it when I had the accent, so I kept it for the two weeks I was there. :D :D :D
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Re: Re: Lemme tink...
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Oh, Jesus lord, lord, lord...I just can't go to jail! |
$$$$$$
1) I could not do that the look on the relatives faces would haunt me for the rest of my life...besides I don't even have to know someone real well to be saddend if they lose someone close to them
2) Yes...I would get them a full health check before they came home and every night they were held captive I would ask the lord to keep their sanity. 3) No..I do not want those spirits around me..prison is serious and not worth the trouble 4) No...I love my life |
For the NEED of money...
To question #2...Can somebody come and get his a$$ now? Please? I'll pay you :D .
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Re: For the NEED of money...
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He's priceless, but...
Soror Ideal08,
He'll cook, clean, and massage your feet before you go to bed (which makes him priceless), but since he's currently a GROWN man with a cold that wouldn't phase a three year old...he's cranky, whiney, and telling me what his momma would do if she were here. All of this is why I'm willing to cut a deal with you to take him off my hands :D. So how much will you charge me? And I don't mind if you torture him a little bit :D. |
# 2 looks tempting. But I don't think so. Maybe double it and it's a thought.
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Re: He's priceless, but...
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Re: Re: I am too soft
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To the questions: 1) That's just too mean for me. 2) That almost sounds like a vacation. 3) Living with my parents is all the jail I can take. 4) same as #3 |
For those interested, "The Book of Horrible Questions: Everyone Has a Price, What's Yours?" by Smith & Doe can be purchased in any bookstore or at www.amazon.com for $9.99. It provides hours of fun!
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