Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
 

Well, since all my friends are out right now, I'll vent to GC. My boyfriend and I just broke up. Yep, its over. Yep, I'm completely hysterical. Yep, I'm gonna go to my parents for the week. Yep, I'm pathetic.

The one friend I talked to (she's in FL, I'm in MI) said that we were both being stupid and to give it a week but I guess I'm too involved in it to think that way.

So, just needed to get that out. Hope everyone else is having a good night...

Awe Girl! We can all sympathize!
I'm so sorry this had to happen on a Friday night. It's the pits breaking up! How long were you together and what was the breakup over? You don't have to say, but I'm sure there is someone on here who could relate.
Take care and keep yourself busy and as happy as you can!
You deserve the best!

Hootie

Let's see... We were together about 2 1/2 years. He's without a doubt my best friend. He's been cranky and sulky all week about school and work stuff too. Technically, I suggested it but I was angry and was like "if you want to break up with me, just do it, don't shut me out". this was on voicemail (not the best, I know) and when he called back he was like yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

In all honesty, it was a matter of both ouf us being pissy and cranky. He wasn't even thinking of it until I mentioned it and hadn't exhibited any of these tendencies until now.

Sidebar: we broke up this time last year too. I think its in the air. That lasted for a whopping two days.

Thanks for listening.

Take your home phone off the hook or otherwise be unavailable to calls and SLEEP on it .. . . the longer the better. And then get up and go run or train or something . . . it will clear your brain.


Good luck, one way or another.

It's so weird. Part of me, actually most of me, is convinced that its a matter of a little "away time". Especially due to the circumstances. Trust me, there was no way anyone could see this coming.

Part of me wanting to go to my parents is the whole being unavailable thing. If I'm not two minutes away, it may make someone think.

A cool thing to do as a therapeutic tool, would be to write a letter to your ex as honest as possible. Never send it ofcourse, buts its supposed to be catharictic.

Yes! Those work so well. It helps you to get all your feelings out. It feels so much better to get all the anger and emotion out on paper. Just remember....DON'T send the letter...that could make things worse.

I just need to see this in writing. I am not ok. I'm not feeling fine, I am sitting here crying and I've accepted that. I have decided that I'm not going to stay at my parents because the spare room sucks and the bed is really uncomfortable.

So any more advice?

Two things:

Either walllow in it on purpose. I mean make it dramatic talk to yourself about it really get yourself worked up . . in other words let it out. But just make sure the music is on and the phone is off.

Or, or after, go do some stuff, whether its the mall or something else you might like to do, get your nails done, walk somethin . . but don't stay cooped up trying control yourself, it just makes it worse.

I agree with James, do something. Take a bubble bath, go see a movie, go for a walk, workout, eat some ice cream, talk to your girlfriends, go shopping, clean out your closets. In other words, keep yourself busy.
I'm really sorry that you are going through this. I hope that you feel better soon.

Day 2

Well, I haven't broken down yet today. Granted its only 8:05 am but I'm taking baby steps. I took the pictures at work down and my desk is very bare. One of my friends reminded me of a few things I had forgotten in all the hysterics. All I can do is wait and see, and seeing as I have the patience of a 2 year old, this could be tough.

Anymore ideas (I'm going to rearrange my closet Wednesday) to help me pass the time?

I'm sorry this happened.

What helps me is to 1) get my feelings out at lease once, 2) have a good cry, 3) keep busy, preferrable in something I enjoy, but work will do.

Hey...how are you doing?

I always find that a good run does wonders, if you're into that sort of thing. Otherwise, shopping is good. Or reading a good book, maybe, or cranking up the music and dancing around like a madwoman, or going out with friends... :)

I think I'm single handedly supporting J.Crew right now! At least I'll have the pleasant surprise of packages at my door this week.

I realized that I forgot to take one picture down. Its of his toolbox (don't ask LONG story) but its acutally kind of funny to look at. After reading some emails from friends, I've felt a little bit better.

I still wish that *if* its true that this is a matter of time and stubborness, it would get over quickly. I want to put my damn necklace back on.

What was funny is that last sunday we were discussing that "40 Days/40 Nights" movie and he was like "I couldn't go 40 days without hugging or kissing you. That would be hell". Yeah.

My cousin's close friend threw all the sheets out and got a new comforter when she broke up. He was cheating and she wanted a "fresh" start at least with the sheets.

Day 3:

If one more person asks me how he is, i'm going to scream and then most likely hit them. Its not their fault I know, but no one ever asked about him before this, why are they now?

Another breakdown last night. Considering we never go more than 2 days without talking, this is not so fun. Here's to hoping I don't run into him tonight when we both have class.

Have I mentioned lately that we WILL get back together;)

Just remember that what you are feeling is normal. You need to feel the pain and you will get through it.

Not to sound too "new age" but do something nice for yourself and make sure you are taking care of yourself too. Don't do anything destructive that you may regret down the road.

It seems to me that if you keep breaking up, maybe he's not the one? I don't know but I know it's easier said than done but at least you know NOW instead of ten years and three kids later.

Please try and feel better and please take care of yourself.

This answer would be the same if we hadn't had what I've come to refer to as "The Unfortunate Phone Incident".

Without a doubt in my mind, heart, body or soul, I know that he is the one. I guess I've known it since we met, but since we were both in relationships, we tried to hide it. I was VERY close to marrying my ex and as sad as it is to say, I never felt this way about him. I didn't see grandkids playing in the front yard with him. I definitely could see us making arrangements for who was picking the kids up on what day though.

Rob and I have a connection that though the past 7 years of being friends then dating has blown both of us away. I guess it goes beyond knowing, I feel it.

I'm not trying to say that we don't have any issues. every couple does. doesn't help that we both are bull headed and stubborn.

Thanks, everyone for listening and giving advice. Until this is resolved, I'll need it.

So you haven't spoken to him?

I know from reading your replies in this post that you said it was something you just sorta said and that possibly his response was sorta just something sudden (that you were both in bad moods).

I dated a guy for a year and a half and towards the end when things went sour, I kept asking him if he still wanted to be together. Finally one day he told me that if I didn't stop asking that, that someday he might just say "yes" without thinking.

I don't know if this is something similar, but perhaps you two just need some space because of stressful situations not relating to each other? It's so hard to say. On one hand you want answers and want to know if you're really done so you can move on, while on the other hand you might feel compelled to beg for him to reconsider. I know oh too well how you feel and what you're going through as I wrote a lot of my feelings on GC a long time ago.

And considering the extent of your relationship it's not easy to turn around and not have that "best friend" in your life anymore. I do know this much, if it's really over it will take you a while to get over it. It's only natural. They say it's like a death because sometimes you're in denial while other times you're angry.

I know I spent countless night crying, bawling, sobbing into my pillow. It seems that it's worse when you're alone and not around friends and family. So what I always did was kept myself occupied. I surrounded myself with friends and family who loved me because it helped.

It's not best to just try to forget about the situation all together because eventually you'll have to come to terms with it. But sometimes it's too much to take in at once, so deal with in doses. Do something good for yourself, spend time with friends, and try to keep a beautiful smile on your face.

Just remember we're all here for ya!
Hootie

I haven't spoken with him. He's been oddly absent from AOL too. Anyway, it seems that about 9 each night is the worst for me. I haven't seen ANY of my friends since this happened either. I'm kinda upset about that but hey, if they can't do it, they can't do it.

Rob is very strong minded. If he had been thinking about this, he would have done it before any "prodding" from me. We talked about it in my class tonight (odd I know) and my prof was like "Considering all the other stress factors and the fight, it probably had very little to do with you".

Day four is almost here...

I will be the first to say that I suck at relationships, but why put your life on hold? If you really want to know how he is feeling why not ask him? If he does't want to get back together at least you know and you don't have to keep wondering. I know this is easier said than done.

Day 4 is not starting out well. This is the first time I had trouble sleeping and cried in the morning. Boys suck.

Have I mentioned that I haven't seen (let alone heard from) my friends yet?

so sorry you have not heard from your friends-maybe give one of them a call and go have dinner or something.

Hey, Karen -- how's it going today?

Well, he called last night and we talked and I went over there. We didn't argue and were actually rational. He mentioned that I hadn't called him and I said that was because he told me not to.He went over what he was going to work on to better
communicate with me what he is feeling and wanting so that I don't get confused and I don't have to read his mind. He asked me what I needed from him and I told him. The best thing is that I think for the first time (in an argument) we truly listed to what the other person was saying, wanting, and
needing. I didn't leave feeling like I had to say "talk to you (insert day here)" or see you (insert day here).

I put the necklace back on (huge relief since I kept reaching for it) and even though I got home late, was able to sleep.

Thank you to everyone who was listening and offering advice. I totally appreciate it!

I'm glad to hear that. You sound much happier, and I hope everything goes well! :)

girl, i just read all of your trauma...how sad! but, it sounds like things are getting better! and i'm glad i didn't read any of that until it all got worked out or else i would've been a wreck until the next day's post. i hate hearing that stuff b/c i have been through it myself, and it's just sad.

best of luck! please still keep us posted!
monica

I hope that it all works out for youand your boyfriend. You're lucky that your situation only lasted four days.

Communication is DEFINATELY the key. Unfortunately people like to talk and never listen! I'm glad the two of you were able to work things out like adults and save a relationship that sounds like was worth saving! :)
Keep us posted if anything progresses or changes! I'm glad we could all be here for you too!

Have a great weekend!

Hootie

We may be going to Florida in two weeks. We went last year and it was one of the best times we've had (even though we stayed with his grandma). I think some quality time away just the two of us would be great.