A question (don't flame me, please!)
 

On a lot of college-oriented sites (NOT this one, thankfully) Greek vs. anti-Greek debates are pretty heated. One thing I hear the Greeks say a lot is "well, you're all just jealous because you didn't get a bid" or words to that effect. Does anybody actually think that non-Greeks feel that way?

Well, I'm sure there are one or two people like that out there, because there are ALL kinds of people out there, but I don't think that's the case for the vast majority of non-Greeks or anti-Greeks.

a lot of the "anti-greeks" are actually people who did NOT get in the house they hoped.

The "you're just jealous cuz you didn't get a bid" can be cutting. Make sure you are willing to hurt someone you don't even know before saying it.

The majority of non-Greeks that I have met, when they do have a negative attitude towards Greeks, isn't because of not recieving a bid. It's usually because of an interaction that went bad that they have had with a Greek. But at the same time, they accept that not all Greeks are the same as the bad experience they've had. Just like not all non-Greeks think we're bad people just because we are Greek.

My friends that are not greek don't understand why I went greek, their thinking is that I was brain washed. When I was in Colorado this September I went to visit the chapter in Boulder and my friend refused to get out of the car. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with a sorority-it hurt my feelings b/c she has never given greeks a chance. I am her friend and I am greek and an overall good person so I don't know why she has this dislike for us. There are 2 other girls in our social group that were in sororities and they are awesome (a KKG and XO). Someday I will have to ask her why she is so anti-greek.

Basically, I feel that this is just a trite statement in response to the cliche GDI statement "At least I don't have to buy my friends"... or something to this extent. It's a cheap effective blow.

deep thinking
 

I often try to figure out what thought process might be behind things like anti-greek opinion. I wonder if in a few cases it has to do with a fear of rejection. They may subconsciously want to have the friendship and activity they see greeks having, but are afraid that they won't be selected for membership. Therefore, they try and rationalize that fear in their heads by saying "Oh, you're just buying your friends" or "What a bunch of rich snobs." Does that make sense?

This also goes along with the bitterness exhibited by people who rushed, but didn't get a bid. Again, trying to make themselves feel better by saying that "it's all dumb anyway."

Kelly the arm-chair psychologist strikes again! :)

......Kelly :)

(Hey! My BA was comprised of 33% psychology courses! At least I'm 33% qualified? ;) )

I think "you're just jealous" is a dumbass accusation and only reflects ignorance on the part of the accuser. Arrogance doesn't do anything to help our image, you know.

I think we are all guilty, to different degrees, of labeling people.
I must confess before my daughter rushed, I put my 2 cents in on the chapters at her school. Why? I knew many, many of the girls in different sororities running a time span of 8 years due to the high pledging rate of our area. Plus I had two nieces ahead of my daughter. I KNEW/KNOW the area girls since they all attended the same schools and even though the total population doesn't reflect it, the "inner circle" is rather small. When I saw who was where, I definitely talked to her about the choices she might face.
Ialso made no bones about a few chapters that had members who were less than "stellar" representatives of human kindness.

Honestly, some sororities DO have the negative stereotypical members that can turn a GDI off. When you see a pattern, is it meaningful? Not in all cases, but certainly in some.

I don't think the "You're jealous" is a very wise response. It may be true in some instances, but it just makes the poster look like they fall into the snobby category.
Why would a GDI be so vehemently opposed to Greek life?

TV/Movies must be cosidered a source.
Perhaps they have had run ins with a handful of members they KNOW and carry that impression with them.
They had an unhappy rush (or someone they care about did)
The higher the profile of a group on campus, the more the gossip,
good or bad, flows.
SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE/NEED ORGANIZATIONS
The true GDI doesn't go around bashing-they just don't care until you ask.
I really believe the GREATEST influence goes back to feelings in High School. This is where they or people they cared about were "pegged" and more than likely, were unhappy with the way the popular crowd defined them or others. They may see Greek life as nothing more than an extension of HS where the names have changed, but the dynamics remain the same.

My father joined a fraternity, but my mother didn't go Greek. My mother thought sororities were filled with elitists and rich kids.

I initially had my mother's sentiments as well. Why? Because society paints Greeks in a negative light. I used to think sororities were about conformity, and that you had to come from a wealthy background. Then I went to college, and boy was I wrong! Sure, there were definitely a few gals who fit the stereotypical sorority girl, but most of them were smart, fun, beautiful (inside AND outside), and down-to-earth.

So now here I am, a proud member of Greekdom!:D

RockChalk, I know of only one place that would put that up!:)

Are You West of KC Area?:confused:

If so, there are a few of us Ks folks here finally!:)

I think it all depends on the situation...

When a friend of mine who went through rush hell said "sororities control your life" I knew it was a jealousy thing, because two years previous she would have loved nothing more than to have received a bid and had her life "controlled."

Then there are people who hate Greeks just on the principle that it is an insitution that selects its members. These are the people who when you remind them that they also choose who they want to live, work and party with, and that they shunned Weird Waldo who wanted to date them, just sputter around and say "Welllll.....that's just different!" :rolleyes:

And there are people who have seen the bad seeds of greek life and had bad encounters, who I can't blame for having a negative view. I did. Hell, a lot of what's on this site made me not want to participate. But I did because I met my sisters and found out they weren't like what I'd seen before, at all.

It's not just a matter of jealousy or hypocrisy, some people have valid reasons and/or no reason to believe otherwise.

Yeah TOM lookcs like we have another Kansas person on the boards!!! :D "Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk go KU!!!" lol Glad to see the kansans stepping up

I think that a lot of the anti-greek sentiment is like what JAM said about it being a continuation of HS.

I was in the middle of the social pack in HS and I know that occasionally I riduculed those who were extremely "popular" and I more than once overheard those who I would consider lower than me just rip on the in crowd for a variety of reasons. Usually it was about the intellectual qualities of the cool kids (which for most were rather nonexistant but I digress) or the cool kids' chances for success later in life.

For us who were goign to college and we knew that we'd be sucessful in the future, I think there was an ideal that college was going to be a place where our intelligence was goign to finally be appreciated instead of being a ticket to lower social status. College was going to be a place where the cliques were virtually non-existant, where there was no delineation of who was cooler than the others, somplace where you were just friends with who you were friends with...

Then to come to college and find a whole system of people who think they are cooler (and I think that for the most part every GLO member thinks/feels they are better off for going greek - otherwise we wouldn't defend our choice so vehemently). Further the line is well drawn, and it's more noticable as to who is part of this system.

Finally I think what really frustrates independents is that they can't complain about Greeks not being intelligent, not being involved, not going to be sucessful. So they pick on things like "I don't buy my friends" or what not.

Now this obviously doesn't apply to every independent, as I know we all have friends who don't feel this way. I know that all my HS friends kinda just said "Whatevs" to my decision, and I think they understood that going out of state was a part of my decision. Perhaps if I had been going to school with them and joined they might felt different b/c it could be construed as a "i'm leaving you behind" sort of deal.

That's my 2 cents, and I think it makes sense but I could be way off base.

There are a bunch of reasons why those who aren't Greek may have negative opinions of those who are.

Many opinions have been shaped over the years by repeated exposure to a stereotype. Whether it be on the news, in movies, or just from things they've heard, for most of their lives people hear about the stereotypes of Greek life, hear about the bad things, and it gets to the point that when they think "Greeks", one of the first things that comes to mind is bad. It's a sort of conditioning that occurs before even stepping foot in college.

Also, some people get burned by the Greek system in less direct ways than being given a no-bid. Some people see their best friends go Greek and feel slighted. Some don't get into a party and feel slighted. Some have brothers or sisters who have had a negative experience, and again, feel slighted.

This isn't to say that those who are against the Greek system are right. There is a board full of us who will defend our organizations/ideals to the death, and there are many many more of us out there who represent what is best about Greek society, and in turn, what is best about society. There are those (we know who they are) who have rather weak, narrow-minded arguments about why they don't like Greek Life.

There are those, however, who seem to be pre-conditioned to that idea, and who are never given the chance to change (like brooklineu was).

Now, I was fed positive experiences far before I got to school. My mother was in a local sorority, and my uncle was a Zeta Psi. My father (who it turned out wasn't too happy about me pledging) never fed me the anti-Fraternity rhetoric. My mom and uncle talked up the system to me, and when I walked into Boston University for the first time, I had a pretty good idea that I would at least rush at some point, if not pledge.

Part of it is a question of what you're brought up with, and the attitudes you have going into school.

Collin

SAEGuy, chalk up another Kansasan!!!!!!:) Send me you e-m so can get ahold of you as weather SEEMS ( ? ) to be getting nicer and make make a run to KU! Do you live in teh House?

KS Member, to you know Dean Hagan? Better say yea and tell me who he is as is a freind! I know you are near the LXA House as take off Emery to get to ours!:)

Cannot beleive where AGD are Planning to build thier new house on the Mountain side!