I don't want to be a ABC anymore... WTH?
 

What do you all think makes someone not want to be a member of the organization they belong to anymore? I don't mean, only becoming INACTIVE, but removing yourself TOTALLLY from the organization. :eek:

Is there EVER a situation or event that would warrant such a decision?

I just cannot see it.

:confused:

I knew a soror that "removed" herself from my undergrad chapter for a while. All I know is that it had to do with religion and a guy she was engaged to. :confused: However, they broke up and she was back 100% the following year.

From what I have observed or been privy to in the past, a lot of folks who totally disassociate themselves from the sisterhood or brotherhood do so because they believe that it goes against religious doctrine. Some believe that we are cults:rolleyes: and that our "rituals" are paganistic. Some believe that we are practicing the worship of idols due to our valuation of symbols, colors, etc. :rolleyes: Ultimately, I see nothing in Delta that goes against the Bible. Delta, as all of the orgs do, seeks to practice sisterhood/brotherhood, service and scholarship. God teaches us to love our neighbors/brothers/sisters as ourselves. He teaches us to help others. He also wants us to be smart. So as far as their being a conflict, again I see none but I do know some ministers who "TWIST" the word of God to be against our orgs as well as other "modern inventions".

"far as their being a conflict, again I see none but I do know some ministers who "TWIST" the word of God to be against our orgs as well as other "modern inventions". [/B][/QUOTE]


As far as being a Christian, the principles/foundation of Delta do not go against the Bible. I never understood Greeks who disavowed their organization because it is not Christian or is idol worship. My philosophy is that anything can become an idol (i.e., your job, your love for money, sex, TV,, internet).

And the ministers who think that being an a Greek organization is not biblical are not members and do not understand the organization.


#7 Snuggles
DST - 12/93

A college acquaintance of mine was rumored to have written to her organization's national headquarters to "turn in" her membership. Because of some very painful situations (both emotionally and physical) that she experienced at the hands of her sorors both during and after pledging, she decided that she no longer wanted to be part of the organization. I thought it was sad, because she was both a scholar and a role model, and probably would have been a great asset to the organization as a whole. We all know that you are supposed to look at the bigger picture (the national organization), but I think her chapter experiences were so painful for her that she didn't want to be associated with the organization at all.:(

I know someone personally who disassociated herself from the sisterhood because of her experiences on line.

One person on her line suffered VERY SERIOUS injuries, to the point where everyone on line was paid by the grand chapter to keep their mouth shut about the incident and promise not to bring suit against the sisterhood. Needless to say, everyone took the money and the injured person never returned back to school.

None of the women who crossed that year are active.

Let's stay away from that Religious aspect. I don't understand that either as a justification. :rolleyes: I think we've gone down the religion/greek street before. :rolleyes:

I mean c'mon, you turn in your membership because you sustained...I don't get it! You made the choice to allow a,b, or c to occur, then you say you don't want it? Something isn't right....:confused:

:rolleyes:

Well, from my experience, I know people who are just bitter about their process. There is a point where there is no turning back, so the only choice is to sustain. And I won't go into any detail about that, but yall (Greeks) know what I mean. I know a person who is so bitter about the divisiveness w/i the organization, coupled with her process, that she has no desire to be active within her org.

What I DON'T understand is how, exactly, one turns in their membership. The way I understand it, once an AKA, ALWAYS an AKA.

While I may be able to understand some people's reasons for being inactive for a time, I just don't agree with simply REMAINING inactive FOREVER (or removing your name or whatever). I just don't agree with that. In my opinion, you made a pledge (oath, etc.), KEEP IT!!! I still harbor some bitterness about some stuff from time to time, but you get over it, and you MOVE ON!

Now, I can see being bitter about a process...

But this other part up there, I can't even get with. :confused: I mean has she been on EVERY level of the organization and ACTIVELY participated in the bizness of her organization on the local, regional, and International levels? :confused: Or was this just an EXCUSE to "get out"?

:confused:

I don't see it. I'm starting to get more involved locally and regionally, and I don't see it...I cannot see where someone with that frame of reference is coming from.:confused:

Soror 2D, I agree with you, I don't see it either, but she did. So much so that she doesn't even greet her sorors when she sees them because of how she is treated after they find out how she was made. But I also think that it is just where she lives, because I've never experienced anything like that. As far as I can tell, ain't nobody on it all like that. However, try and put yourself in that person's shoes. If EVERY soror that you met in your area turned their nose up at you (RIGHT after you crossed), how willing would you be to go to ANY events or work with ANY of these women? I know if that had been my experience, I would have completely re-thought my decision. Because really, you don't know what you're getting yourself into until you are in, you know what I'm sayin? And then to have such negative experiences RIGHT AFTER crossing, what, exactly, would make you WANT to remain active? Unless you move? And who's moving to find a better chapter?

Now, my opinion on the mess? The ladies (and I use the term loosely) turning their noses up at her probably aren't even active. Because you tell me, who is turning away people who are willing to work w/i the chapter???? And this gets kinda off the subject of this thread, and onto the other thread that you started, BUT, it is all a part of why people are inactive or choose to disassociate themselves from the organization. If you are not being treated SISTERly by your SISTERS, why would you want to be a part of the SISTERhood? I understand that everyone is NOT going to like you, but come on, now, you can still be sisterly.

Basically, everyone's experiences are different, and most often the differences are regional. But that's just my take on it.

Chile Puhleeze!
 

You don't know me berry well, do you? :p
She probably shouldn't have been chosen anyway! :rolleyes:


On that other stuh, you are right! :D

Funny yall should bring this topic up...
 

Please read the following:

January 29, 2002



Patrick W. Burke
National Executive Director
Alpha Phi Omega National Service Fraternity
14901 E. 42nd Street
Independence, MO 64055



Dear Pat,

I am writing to you to inform you that I wish to renounce my vows I took to be a brother of Alpha Phi Omega, and therefore ask that my membership numbers be taken off the rolls (Member #238281 and Life Member #17092). Thus, I wish to dissociate with the Fraternity.

This was by no means an easy decision to make, as it took over a year to deliberate to come to this decision. While I have enjoyed my time as a brother of Alpha Phi Omega, it has become painfully obvious over the last three to four years that because I pledged Alpha Phi Omega in a manner similar to that of historically Black fraternities and sororities, I have received a much lesser degree of respect and worth as a brother by those who pledged under more “traditional” conditions, despite the fact that I saw everyone as a brother irrespective of their personal status.

I have attempted to help bridge the gap between brothers at mainstream schools and those at Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs), through education and discussion, but few, if any brothers were willing to listen or receive such. As such, I am a brother in a culturally divided fraternity, where there is no possibility for compromise, and brothers embrace groupthink in the name of diversity. While I believe in the cardinal principles of leadership, friendship, and service, I cannot serve in an organization under these conditions.

An additional reason for my dissociation is the fact that my spiritual convictions have made me grow increasingly uncomfortable with being in a brotherhood bond with atheists and homosexuals.

I would like to thank you and all the brother of Alpha Phi Omega for 10 great years of leadership, friendship, and service. I have learned a lot, and hope to take the positive experiences I learned to another level soon.

Sincerely,

Jason M. Jones

Note: while I did have a phone conversation with Pat and technically I am still on the membership rolls of APO, I no longer identify myself as such (you may have noticed the lack of APO referencing and related topics I have posted over the 10 months). I gave all my 'nalia to a fellow brother and will put all my GLO energy into building Beta Kappa Lambda Fraternity in the future.

Just my $.25, oops, I mean 2 cents:D

Since Rain Man is not a line name or GLO related name, I will keep that.

RM

Hello Sisterfriends and Memberfriends of all BGLOs. I've been a silent observer for over a year now:eek: but I felt compelled to reply to this topic.

The other day, I was talking to my aunt and told her of my interest in XYZ sorority. She became furious with me for wanting to join any sorority! I hadn't seen her that mad since I was a little girl. Anyway, I talked to her later after she had calmed down, only to find out that my AUNT was a member of XYZ sorority. Mind you, we are very close, so this came as a shock to me.:eek: Although she hadn't gone to the extent of Rain Man's reply, my aunt has basically disassociated herself with the sorority. My auntie was very vague as to her reasons, but I was under the impression that it had more to do with pledging experiences than religious reasons.

skywalker20_99, I'm not sure if you ever mentioned this elsewhere but what college did you attend?

Hi Sorors, SF's, fellow greeks and guests!
 

IMHO, there IS no reason to turn your pin in upon taking your oath to the organization you choose to join!!!

With that being said, I have seen "others" in organizations that have ostracized certain members 'cuz they came thru one way or another. When I saw the challenging, the tests, the neglect, the resentment, the hurt, the anger hurled at these members, not to mention that it IS hazing as defined by the NPHC, it broke my heart... But no one ever told these folks to remember what was the "REASONS" why they joined... And those reasons change from time to time, chapter to chapter and life circumstances to livelihood...

Remember, why do folks leave the Church, Mosque, Temple or Shrine?

Maybe 'cuz we live in a pluralistic society and several folks died so that some folks can BE flaky like dat... I dunno...

I think we can all say that our committment to some things are extremely limited... Just look at the Untied States divorce rates... Look at the increases in children caught up into the foster care system 'cuz their folks wanted other thangs... Shoot, if a mamma cain't be committed to her child, then dayum, how can we ask someone be committed to our organizations?

Which leaves me to leap and bound to the fact, that all the HBGLO's in the NPHC were formed during a time of oppression and that our relevance is being tested today by the mere fact of how all of our intake processes have had to change...

So some ippy dippy interest rolls upto us half-baked and makes MIP (today as required by Nationals) then flakes out and turns in her 'nalia 'cuz she wasn't strong enuf relative to our foremothers... Then... What??? Maybe, IMHO, we need to do our own private investigations and research bout flossy assed negroes... 'Cuz I'm tired of the faked funkers! It's time to find those who can step... Hopefully UP!

Re: Hi Sorors, SF's, fellow greeks and guests!
 

It is strange that you should say such a thing. I hope you do not take offense by this...and I will probably be banned from the forum..but I hope you get to read this...I find it odd that time and time again I have read about members "bouncing" so to speak over trivial reasons and that it's time to do this and that, time to up the quality of membership, then when one applies, and this probably sounds self-absorbed, but oh well, when one applies, she is looked over because her "strength" is unsettling, or somehow causes those with the power to grant her membership to believe that because she is so outspoken about certain issues, she will indeed be the one to "flake out" so to speak. It is just odd to me. Even though I have read time and again that chapters are different, it just doesn't seem to justify a "quality" prospect that does "step up" by adhering to you public policy being unjustly overlooked:confused: then have one that got in "flake out" and walk :eek:

OK here's another situation
 

When I was in high school, my close friend and I ALWAYS talked about becoming greek. She wanted to be an AKA, and I always wanted to be a Delta. Yeah I guess you could call us in "in the closet greeks, throwing up the signs, doing the call, making up strolls, (and I am pretty sure there were a LOT of you that have done this so don't even front :) anyway. She tried for AKA THREE times, and FINALLY got chosen the third time. I was SO happy for her b/c I knew how bad she wanted this, and she was happy for me when I finally made it as well. Although we BOTH truly LOVE our organization....she took it to a NEW level. I mean she had AKA plates, spoons, cups (actually it was a set,) She had an AKA bathroom (with the towels, the mat, and I don't even know where she got this from or if she had it made, but she even had an AKA SHOWER CURTAIN :eek: Her ENTIRE house was Pink and Green, her closet consisted of Pink and Green, she even had a pink and green cover for her bible. I have NEVER in my life seen so much pink and green. This was about 4 years ago. Well I went to go visit her and all of that stuff is GONE, and I couldn't understand why. she told me that she knew in her heart that the love she had for AKA was wrong. By that she meant, she would devote more time to her sorority then God. She said as much as she hate to admit it "she worshiped AKA" Now she said that she prayed about it, and she felt that she needed to reevaluate the situation and the love she had for her organization. I told her that it's o.k. to love something that you worked hard for (and believe me ya'll she WORKED HARD for AKA) but she told me this is true, but something is wrong when you realize that you are doing more work for AKA, Delta, or any other organization EACH and everyday, but don't do any thing for God or God takes the back burner. I mean just going to church every Sunday ain't gon cut it. She also said that she would pray every night and ask god to allow her to become a member she was involved in a lot of church activities, (president of this, chairperson of that etc), and after he granted that for her, she gave up her positions in the church and isn't involved in church activites like she used to and she doesn't pray no where near as much as she used to when she was asking to be accepted into the oraginzation) and she spent more time with AKA then going to church, spending time with her family, and she even lost a couple of friends because of this ordeal. She wouldn't hang out with them anymore because she wanted to be with her SORORS all the time. and it was putting a strain on her marriage.

Now with this Particular situation, I think she should have stepped away. I mean I love me some Delta, but I am not,
I repeat NOT going to allow it to affect my friends, family, and my relationship with God. I think everyone's situation is different.
That's just my Humble Opinion.

AND I'm OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since I started the thread....
 

I'm going to reply to Reiki. Soror may and may not come back and reply in her own UNIQUE way, but in the MEANTIME...

1. I don't think you'll get "banned" JUST YET...

2. Just because someone is "outspoken" doesn't necessarily equate that person with possessing STRENGTH...Because some people can talk a good game, but that's it. ( Can we say "hot air"). (Boooooooooo!)

3. I'm sure the practices of ALL organizations are odd, when one is on the OUTSIDE looking IN.

4. The only way a person will know the INTERNAL dealings of an organization is when he or she becomes a member of X,Y, OR Z. Meaning that I do not expect a non-member to understand the differences within our own organizations.

5. An outsider will have his or her beliefs as to what justifies this or what justifies that, but again, what a non-member thinks does not make the Greek World turn. What a non-member speaks about will not be discussed at our regional conferences this Spring. What a non-member sees as the truth, the way and the light will not mean diddly squat at Boule in July.

I'm sure it's safe to say that this is not limited to our organization. I do not think that non-member's ideals are placed on agendas, etc of the other 8 organization's "to do" list. :confused: If I am wrong, would a member of that organization please correct me? :confused:

This is not a thread about GAINING membership, nor will it go there. The POW tells you we don't discuss that. If there is an issue take it up with THAT chapter. Contrary to popular belief, we (Graduate and Undergraduate chapters of Alpha Kappa Alpha, Incorporated) do not operate ENTIRELY the same way.

Re: Since I started the thread....
 

2. Just because someone is "outspoken" doesn't necessarily equate that person with possessing STRENGTH...Because some people can talk a good game, but that's it. ( Can we say "hot air"). (Boooooooooo!)


My exact words were:

then when one applies, and this probably sounds self-absorbed, but oh well, when one applies, she is looked over because her "strength" is unsettling, or somehow causes those with the power to grant her membership to believe that because she is so outspoken about certain issues, she will indeed be the one to "flake out" so to speak.


so...I'm not sure what you meant by that, but I will leave it alone...


3. I'm sure the practices of ALL organizations are odd, when one is on the OUTSIDE looking IN.

I'm even more not sure what you meant by that, since I was referring to AKA_Monet's comment about the quality of membership and how in her opinion that "quality" is lacking and simply saying that in my opinion, as an "outsider" perhaps that is the problem with people "bouncing" as soon as they graduate or "see the light"...but I will also leave my comment at that...

4. The only way a person will know the INTERNAL dealings of an organization is when he or she becomes a member of X,Y, OR Z. Meaning that I do not expect a non-member to understand the differences within our own organizations.

Since it has been said time and again that members bounce for various reasons and that quality is "lacking", I as an "outsider" did not see that as an "inside" dealing since it is a very well noted public fact, that is why I commented.

5. An outsider will have his or her beliefs as to what justifies this or what justifies that, but again, what a non-member thinks does not make the Greek World turn. What a non-member speaks about will not be discussed at our regional conferences this Spring. What a non-member sees as the truth, the way and the light will not mean diddly squat at Boule in July.

What a non-member thinks does "make the Greek World turn", because it is former "non-members" that make up the "greek world", that is all I was referring to. I don't know anything about your conferences, so I am not sure where that came from, but I will leave my comments as such.

I made no comments concerning membership, nor had I any intent of taking it there..I am assuming you were referring to me since you replied to me, but if not, my apologies.

Re: Re: Since I started the thread....
 

I'm LMAO. The entire post was in regards to MEMBERSHIP.


http://www.plauder-smilies.de/happy/roflmao.gif

I had to get a smilies for this one.

Since I'm a Special Education teacher, I have to remember that I need to "water things down" sometimes...
There are not any MEMBERS of organizations soliciting the ideas of non-members to handle THEIR business.

Re: Re: Re: Since I started the thread....
 

I'm still not following you, so perhaps I am a bit slow today. I will leave it be. Peace...

Personally I would rather have someone own up to abandoning their organization and renounce than remain inactive for 20, 30, 40 years!

Something to make you go hmmmmm...
 

hmmmmmmmm! scratching my head

Another way of looking at things.

People are going to do what they want..
 

People are going to do what they want to do.... We are not going to change them at all.....

People have their own reason for being inactive and/or rejecting their letters. I stop listening a long time ago..... (not saying that the reasons aren't good....:eek: ) I understand the religious reason given by two GC members regarding their friends; however, why can't one just adjust (I spend a lot of time on my job (I'm an attorney), but hey...I'm not going to quit)....the same with the individual who was just plain 'tired' of the 'system'......why not try to change it (and change is not going to happen over night).

Just my .08 cent. I'm not going to go so far and say that these people shouldn't have been made....that's not my place to say (especially not in such an open forum). And no matter how we 'improve' the system, we are going to still have people that 'fall' through the cracks. This happened pre-90 as well as post-90. People don't wear their future plans or intentions on their forehead at Rush. If they did, a lot of people wouldn't have been made in the first place (a whole lot of them....sorors who were in attendance at Boule' 2000, check the statistics.....they were eye-opening. If you need the numbers, hit me up!).

I agree with this b/c think about it....why do you join an org (any org) in the first place? To be ACTIVE, right? At least that should be the intention. So I feel like yes, you are supposed to be a member for LIFE, but if you aren't doing anything (and don't plan on ever doing anything), why should you remain a member (for LIFE)?
This leads me to one reason I think someone would leave their org. Basically, some folks don't see themselves EVER being involved like they know they should be. I have had some experiences in my own sorority where this has happened. To me, it's a really lame excuse, but hey, some people just suddenly wake up :rolleyes: and see that they are just WAAAAAY too busy to be in the org. Uh yea....WHAT EVER! :mad: ;)
Another thought I had... some people may feel that although this is for LIFE, they may feel like greek life is "inappropriate" (for lack of a better word) after undergrad. Ya know, some people may just wake up and say "why am I involved in this again? I'm too old for this." For those of us that are very involved and LOVE our orgs, that sounds ridiculous. But it's very possible that the older some get, they may feel like it's not the thing to do anymore. **However, as we know, there are those that LOVE their orgs even MORE as they get older.** Go figure! Different strokes for different folks. :p

Overall, I just think if someone is NEVER going to live up to the oath, pledge, etc that they took and be ACTIVE, then why should they continue to be a member? I don't know. Looking at it from a *President's* perspective (:D), if you aren't going to live up to what you pledged to do and you KNOW that for fact, then "good-bye...you are the weakest link" :rolleyes: ;) :)

peace

Just to put it in context, I've been reclamation chair for the past four years so I'm a little prickly on the subject so my views may soften when I transition out of that office! Right now my motto is GIVE up the pearls if you can't LIVE up to the pearls!

LMAO, while :rolleyes: !

Looking at it from a *ACTIVE member's* perspective....
I had to insert that, because for the last few weeks, I've seen first hand where a FEW are actually "representing" and others are not... and what others are NOT doing, is falling onto MY shoulders...:rolleyes: I CAN FEEL YOU ON THAT sentiment . I don't know about "good-bye" but they are the "weakest link".

Head and Shoulders to remove those flakes...
 

Soror AKA2D91--I concur 1908%!!! :)

Ms. Reiki--

The issue about vocal interests being chosen versus not has more to do with leadership abilities than talking out of turn. Leadership comes in many forms. Just because you are a hater in some respects does not mean that my Sorors do not have talents that are strongly utilized in the organization... It was probably those outstanding qualities that made a Soror of mine including the absolute minumum requirements: GPA and units.

There is also the issue of "diamonds in the rough". Maybe you lack that kind of luster, but I know many interests that shine. It is the "way" she carries herself publically. For all I know, the lady may be "closeted freaky", but if she exudes confidence, respectable demeanor and leadership in crises, then all of that can be forgiven. If you doubt it, then why is the former NYC Mayor Guiliani been lauded after 9-11??? Dude left his wife for another woman!!! It is just best to stay outta of grown folks bi'nuss...

So, it ain't about membership restrictions on trivial pursuits... Background checks are done... Just like I stated on another forum, chit gets around... We can figure out who you are and we do often compare notes with other GLO's... Don't sleep on us...

I cannot tell you how I have come to find out about folks through the web... I know when some folks intakes are and who is on line at what school... THAT is why we ask folks to be discrete. Lay low. Wait, you NEVER know...

As for I ain't never said such a thing and it would behoove you get your fact skrait before rollin' in upon my Sorors accusing them of activities they did not commit...

But I will comment on your lack of comprehension since you want not to be like my Soror Ideal08 said, "think outside of the box": folks bounce out, some stuff can get hectic. Life is hard sometimes. Maybe you have been oh so blessed to have a perfect life, but some folks don't have it like that and come up on hard times... Some folks become disenfranchised. They joined in something they weren't prepared for and life just put stones in the road... Who knows. But for whatever reason, we live in America and we have right to change our mind no matter what consequences ensue. Not everything can be laid out neatly all the time... That is the process of maturity. That is why folks get old with gray hairs. I dunno...

Haters have no baring on who is in our organizations or not. So they don't make our worlds turn. Life circumstances may, but haters don't. And if a hater rolls up into my Sorority claiming we did this, that or the other before a Rush, after the investigations as painful as they are, I know for a fact my Sorority will prosecute a hater and they will never become a member... That has happened and there will be a lawsuit against a hater soon on my coast... So don't every think that if you speak foully about my Sorority or any other that you won't be marked for automatic exclusion... 'Cuz my best friend is a part of another BGLO sorority and just asked me about a woman and how she hated on BGLOs while in college... YES, this is a grad/alumni chapter. YES, we do compare notes, often...

This is my $1908 cents worth.

AKAMonet, Ph.D.

Re: Head and Shoulders to remove those flakes...
 

Perhaps there was a misunderstanding, in both directions. I have never applied to Alpha Kappa Alpha...and I am not sure if you were calling me a "hater" or not, so I will not wrongly presume so, though if you were, you are far from right. I'm even more not sure where you are coming from with all the other comments you made, and I don't mean that to be facetious either since as I stated I have NEVER applied to Alpha Kappa Alpha. If you would like to know who I am...I will gladly send you a private e-mail. That is not an issue for me. I haven't accused your sorors of anything on this board yet. I responded to your comment and offered my opinion on why some people may "bounce" or not stick around... i.e. quality of membership. That was not an accusation of any sort, that was my analysis of the situation as presented in subsequent posts leading up to yours. "Think outside of the box"? I am not sure exactly what "box" you feel I've placed myself in, but I commented solely on the situation(s) presented in this thread...nothing more...I believe this thread began as "I don't want to be an ABC anymore" and some people listed reasons why some members bounced, so the other things you mentioned...I wouldn't know about since I am not an AKA intrestee. Perhaps then I should not post here, since it doesn't seem that freethinkers are welcome...

Peace.:(

Many people are not disenchanted with the organization and its founding principles, but with their chapter and what they had to go through to become a member or go through to maintain membership. Further, people use their religious convictions to judge the actions of INDIVIDUALS within the organization, as opposed to choosing to associate themselves with those members who most closely follow the ideals of the founders---our organizations (even the smaller ones) are too huge to take the actions of some and disassociate ourselves with the whole.

People have been known to "depledge" themselves...which goes deeper than disassociating themselves---this means that they do not acknowledge that they were EVER a member and try their best to forget everything they've learned. I agree that once a member always a member TECHNICALLY, but now we have a bunch of people running around with some of the same knowledge of these organizations that we have, but not claiming the organization AT ALL. I think I'd rather someone not claim the org. AT ALL, as opposed to having 'nalia on their car, but being inactive and running the other way or not speaking when another member of the org. speaks to them.

Re: Re: Hi Sorors, SF's, fellow greeks and guests!
 

Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't think your post was worthy of your being banned from the forum. Your post was very general, not that this thread is about what you're speaking of, but there are many reasons for prospectives not being extended membership.

As people we ALWAYS think we are qualified (often over qualified) for membership. That remains to be seen, though. It is important, regardless of your qualifications, to remain humble. We want people who will step up...but we don't want people who can't put their pride aside long enough to be taught and given direction---know-it-alls, etc. Now, going back to THIS topic, you never know what someone will do AFTER they become a member---we're not psychic and people always manage to surprise us. It is often a matter of weighting our options---someone you think can be an asset to the organization can be the one to "bounce" or not do as they should----someone who may be overlooked many times could be the person who's true and will work hard for the lifelong commitment. We're imperfect people, so it goes without saying that the selection process will be imperfect. I assume you're not Greek (I don't assume you WANT to be Greek), but people always have so many criticisms from the outside looking in, and when they become on the inside (if they want to be on the inside), they make the same mistakes they criticized the members for. It's not easy to be on the inside OR the outside---which is why we shouldn't really speak on or judge things that we don't completely comprehend.

Re: OK here's another situation
 

All things in moderation. There is a thin line between being a religious person and being a religious fanatic. There is a thin line between loving your organization and not having a life outside of your organization.

Re: Re: Head and Shoulders to remove those flakes...
 

Yes, the topic was posted, BUT how many non-members posted to this topic? THAT'S THE POINT. YOU, as a NON-MEMBER really do not have a SAY. What pertinent information can you give regarding why someone disassociates himself from his or her organization?

You may talk about it among your friends, but that's about it.

This is a subject, where I personally feel a NON-MEMBER should only look, listen, and learn SILENTLY.

I don't have a problem if someone posts, but when an issue is for the most part a GREEK topic/issue, then OTHERS should keep their thoughts to him or herself.

I didn't think I needed to post FOR GREEKS ONLY every single, solitary time, but I guess I will have to next time :rolleyes:

Then I must apologize for my post, I didn't think that only greeks had an opinion about the topic. I'll go ahead and delete it, sorry.:(

Re: Re: Re: Hi Sorors, SF's, fellow greeks and guests!
 

AKA_Monet stated:

So some ippy dippy interest rolls upto us half-baked and makes MIP (today as required by Nationals) then flakes out and turns in her 'nalia 'cuz she wasn't strong enuf relative to our foremothers... Then... What??? Maybe, IMHO, we need to do our own private investigations and research bout flossy assed negroes... 'Cuz I'm tired of the faked funkers! It's time to find those who can step... Hopefully UP!

That is all I responded to...nothing more. The thread did not begin as such, nor had I any intention of making it a thread about membership. I responded to AKA_Monet's comment...specifically the one I have quoted word for word above. I still am not making this a topic about membership. My analysis was, as I stated earlier, that perhaps "ippy dippy interest(s)" are the ones "bouncing". I have yet to introduce any personal situation, and simply offered my analysis of the situation as presented in this thread. AKA2D has made it very clear that as a non-member, my comment was out of place on this board. Cool..got it. The other stuff I don't, so I will not exacerbate an obvious misunderstanding.

Peace.

Re: Re: Re: Head and Shoulders to remove those flakes...
 

Cool.
Peace.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Hi Sorors, SF's, fellow greeks and guests!
 

Just trying to figure out why you quoted me on that one...




:confused:

Hello Everyone,

I was in-active my last year as an undergrad, but in no way did I blame SGRho for what made me choose to become inactive. I just knew that once I graduated, I would one day become active again in a grad chapter. I have known of sorors who have disowned SGRho, because of issues that went on and I think that is very unfortunate. Now when I said I went in-active it was the hardest, most stressful time I think in my life. I cried more times then I hate to even remember and two years later, I can still feel the tears well-up when I think about it! :( As many Greeks know... it is not easy to become a soror. Love it with all your heart, soul, and then try and mesh with those who could care less about it. And now a days it is even worse, because I think that we as African-Americans have really lost the meaning of why SGRho, AKA, DST, and Zeta were founded in the first place. (This thought always kept me going and although I was in-active I still paid national dues and in my own way supported my chapter, just from a distance). I
can not speak for all sororities, but I do hope that we try and bring back those who have fallen by the wayside. I think we sometimes have to be reminded that you can not hold on to what so and so said or did to you etc. You have to look deep inside yourself and as long as you know you are trying to do right, then try and fix the negative. And if you can't...then you may have to ignore it. Because the one lesson I learned was, you should never let anyone take away your love and time from your sorority due to their ignorance. Eventually they will weed themselves out and disappear.

Not to be long-winded, but I did want to comment on the non-greek comment issue. Not to sound mean, but I agree that an outsider looking in...really should not comment on a subject such as this. Because it is not so black and white. I say this because no matter if your mother, bestfriend, aunt, sister has informed you of troubles within their org., they probably are not telling you everything...nor should they.
Trust me when I say..if you think you have a clue of what is really going on in a sororties' chapter..."YOU DON'T"! My husband is a Kappa and my sister is a Zeta and I still would not even dare to try and find out or say what I think would have been going on in his frat or her sorority now or ever. It is just a matter of respect.....

Tenacious1922

I will state, first and foremost, just for the record, that I am not Greek, so while my comments may be unwelcome, ignored, deleted, etc. I just cannot refrain from making them.

I will state simply and honestly, there is a tone in this thread, and this forum (among others) that is truly disheartening. It seems like the general attitude has become, if you're Greek, your opinion on such and such topic counts, if you're not then shut up. Now I don't necessarily agree with REIKI's posts, but I respect her right as my sister in Christ to make them without disrespecting her. When I look at a person, I don't see Greek or non-Greek, I see a PERSON, but lately when I visit Greekchat, (which is not often these days) I see grown women, who go on and on about the tenets of sisterhood, responding to other women in ways that can only be described as non-sisterly.

Not to be preachy, but wasn't there a time in history when our opinions didn't count because we are Black, when we were ridiculed and labeled for something we could not and cannot control? This is exactly what we do to one another when we decide to respect someone based on their Greek or non-Greek status. New posters like REIKI, who have been nothing but respectful, come to forums like these and get the impression that their thoughts, however articulately expressed, are not welcome in a public forum. And let me add, that while no one has been outrightly rude to her, there has been a significantly negative tone to most of the posts that addressed her. I know my sentiments are unpopular, and are not in keeping with the "stay in line, and agree with us, or get out" tone on Greekchat, but I sincerely hope they are reflected upon and taken in stride.


Nubian

I could almost see your analogy...but you're comparing a message board to how Black people did not count in Amerikkka---this board isn't that deep and the comments made on them are not representative of anything.
I appreciate your honesty and, as your sister in Christ, I agree with some of your statements. However, while we are all people, there are some things that we do not understand or comprehend. Therefore, it is not a good idea to point the finger or critique something simply looking from the outside. That's a LIFE lesson...that's nothing unique to Greekchat. The tone on Greekchat may appear rude at times, but it usually comes out of amazement (and sometimes amusement) that people would offer their opinions to something without grasping the overall concept of the discussion. Everyone is welcome to silent monitor and even add comments here and there (this a public forum). There are some times when even MY comments are not welcome on certain forums. For instance, if I am on another sorority's forum and I respond to something that was addressed to members of that sorority or that most closely pertained to members of that sorority. Sure, I could add my $19.13, but my comments may be taken out of context or I could be waaaaaaay off base and not even know what I'm talking about.
There are more similarities b/w the sororities than there are differences, BUT there are key differences that a non-member often does not have the privilege to see. Similarly, the Greek world is more similar to the outside world than many think, but the differences are often not seen to non-Greeks and non-Greeks do not have access to such information. Therefore, non-Greeks can not offer insight as to why a Greek would disown their letters or why a prospective for membership would NOT be chosen. They can GUESS or even say what they THINK happened to a friend of theirs (people rarely recount the story as it really happened, though...it's hearse). So, in these cases, an opinion's like an ass####, everyone's got one and some opinions are best thought but not typed.

That concludes your LIFE lesson folks, hope ya took good notes ;)