Weight an issue . . .
 

I have been told by a few people that are in various sororities, in various places that weight is a very big issue. I am not so much concerned with the overweight 'thing' but more with the underweight 'thing', if it even exists. I am 5ft 2in and (about) 95lbs. What I have heard is that girls with weight issues once a week (or on regular intervals) have to be weighed in. And then must act accordingly. Is this really an issue ?
-lea

This is another baseless rumor...ignore it. Visit web sites of various national groups and you will see young women of all sizes, shapes and ethnicities.

Use your own best judgement when going through recruitment - that will be your best barometer to determine which group is right for you.

Absolutely false. Just another one of the numerous rumors that anti-Greeks like to fabricate. Sororities accept women based on whether or not they believe that they'll be active, helpful, and respected members of their organization. They don't select based on weight, and they certainly don't have a weigh-in every week!

Don't listen to those rumors, Fayissi. They aren't worth your time, trust me! :D

The ONLY reason my sorority would ever be concerned with someone's weight is if we were concerned about a lack of it.

We have had one or two cases of girls with really really serious eating disorders, and when it became clear that they had a severe problem and needed medical and psychological testing, steps to intervene in the situation and get the girl counseling were taken.

Other than that sort of a situation, where it's our responsibility to look out for the health and well-being of a sister, we would never concern ourselves with a girl's weight, whether she be 95, 150, or 400 pounds.

I can honestly say that I think your concerns are unwarranted. again, the only time that I have ever heard of weight being a problem is when someone exhibits symptoms of an eating disorder.

I never heard about the weighing in, but weight plays a part in all aspects in life and so I do think weight is an issue during recruitment at some schools.

I would look for well groomed members, size doesn't play a part in that. Some chapters would like to think that they are a bunch of thin women, but in reality we all come in different shapes and sizes so it is impossible to have a chapter of all skinny girls.

In my years in the sorority world, eating disorders or more common than being over weight, but both are important issues that should be addressed in a chapter setting.

Do think girls would stay in a chapter where they had to be weighed in once a week? I know that I wouldn't.
It is not true. In my chapter, we have many shapes and sizes. The only girls that we are worried about are the ones who rapidly lose weight.

ooh ooh wait

so: "you don't weigh in my personal wannbe unrealistic unhealthy range, so you're not cool enough to be my sister anymore..."

that about right?

That's not what brotherhood/sisterhood is supposed to be about.

You should worry about those who rapidly gain weight too. Any drastic shift in weight/diet/intake/ or over all health should be checked out.

"ooh ooh wait

so: "you don't weigh in my personal wannbe unrealistic unhealthy range, so you're not cool enough to be my sister anymore..."

that about right?

That's not what brotherhood/sisterhood is supposed to be about."

well said SAEActive well said

Weight is definitly not an issue with any sorority that I've seen here or anywhere...dont worry its just a rumor..as long as youre healthy and don't have an eating disorder you have nothing to worry about and even if you did have an eating disorder your sisters would only want to be there and help you out.

Nichole

Weight
 

I know this is an old thread, but am bored at work so I was just reading some old threads and I thought this was a very good topic. Weight is not an issue in deciding who should be a memeber in one organization or another. To base acceptance on looks is outrageous and I know that women and men for that matter, would not want to be a part of an organization that used weight as a requirment for membership.
I think that weight should be discussed with your sisters of brothers though. I think discussing issues like eating disorders with you fellow sisters or brothers is imporatn because it is a serious problem especially among college aged women. I think people should know tha signs and symptoms and be able to recognize them in a fellow member and be able to get help for them. To have people of all shapes, sizes and ethnicities is part of what makes greek life so special.


Pi Phi Love and Mine,

Emily

Its kind of odd isn't it, that we aren't concerned with another person being overweight?

It is socially desirable to be thin, but we recognize the health risks both mental and physical of being too thin through a negative eating pattern.

It appears to be less socially desirable to be overweight, and we categorically refuse to think in terms of health risks both mental and physical to being overweight from a negative eating pattern. At least in terms of intervention.

And yet even being 5 percent higher than the low point average number for your body fat percentage can greatly increase your health risks.

And we won't even talk about the mental health aspects.

And the higher you are the greater your risk in the severity of the problem.

And yet we don't intervene or comment very much about that do we?

I can only imagine its because weight is as much a social issue? You can walk up to a girl and tell her . . you are much thinner than normal/average and talk about it . . . it is considered really bad to walk up to a girl and say you are much heavier than norma/average and ask to talk about.

Am I right that we allow a lot of our friends and Brothers/Sisters maintain an extremely unhealthy state because we are afraid of hurting their feelings?

It seems an odd act of faithlessness on our part not to try to help a friend who is jeapardzing their health in a way that is easily remedied. Especially when we are so quick to intervene in other health matters.

Doesn't this disregard for that person's health actually make us into bad friends/Brothers/Sisters?

Its a question I ponder.

If someone suddenly gained 60 pounds over a very short amount of time (say 2 months) yes, I would say something to them, because that's definitely a health issue.

But there are people who are heavier and perfectly healthy.

Decision
 

James who makes the decision to start getting rid of their excess weight though? Is it turning to someone and saying "You're fat" that gives them the desire to lose weight? I wouldn't think so. Every time I'm at the gym I notice who has been there for the last 3 years and I also notice people that come and go. I think it's the people that have been there for three years that have made their own decision to improve their health. I think the guys that come and go never made that decision to dedicate time to their physical health.

I think we can push our friends and brothers into working out by saying "hey do you want to go to the gym with me?" but that's about as much as we can do and even that has its limits doesn't it?

-Rudey
--And honestly I think a lot of emphasis is placed on how your future new members look. Of course it's the overall package...everything from their grades to what they would contribute to the chapter that is what the decision is based on, but looks are taken into consideration.

Being too thin and bein too fat is not healthy. We all know that. Weight has always been an issue or me. At 11 I was dignosed with Juvenille diabetes. Later I developed bulemia, and then depression. I am still struggling with all three and trying to cope on a day to day basis. Those that suffer from bulemia are usually the right weigh for them or overweight. I am overweight, yes I'll admit that (mostly because you can't see me). I would hate for a "thin" person (I use thin in quotation marks because obviously what I think is thin is quite destorted) to come up to me and say hey you're fat go to a gym, just like I wouldn't go up to some one who seemed to be underweight and say you're too thin, eat soemthing. What we need to do for our brothers and sisters is to be able to recognize the signs and symptoms of an eating disorder or disturbed eating (yes there is that) and be able to act accordingly. None of us are professional doctors, nurses, dieticians or therapists (well there might be some Alum on here that are, and maybe if there are they can come forward and share some information on eating disorders with us). But we can go for help. We can go to a counselor on campus or a doctor on campus and ask for advice. I would not want to see my sisters hurting themselves becuase of what people think a socially acceptable with and image should be. Remember there are people who might seem overweight to you, but be very healthy. Same goes for people we might think are underweight. You can't tell just by looking at them. Those with an eating disord are going to suffer in silence, they will think nothing is wrong with them and won't get help. We have to help them understand that they are hurting themselves, but still remember wwe can't force someone to get help. Makeing sure you are there for your brothers and sisters is the most important thing. They are most likely to come to you when they need help.
we are al beutiful in someway and just because we all can't fit into a size 2 and have bulging muscles doesn't make us any less worthy. We can be fat, thin, short or tall, we all have something to contribute.

Pi Phi Love and Mine,

Emily

At my school, I can tell you that weight is not at all an issue. All the organizations have sisters that range from XS to XXL. If you are truly concerned by this stereotype, take a look at some of the sisters when you go through recruitment. If you feel as though they portray the image you fear, then perhaps that's not where you belong. Get to know the sisters, they truly are the key as to what your life in their organization would be.

*completely off topic*
Lady Pi Phi, you are a diabetic as well? I read your story. I can only imagine what kind of situation you are in. I commend you for showing your strength. I was diagnosed when i was 13 months.

*ok back on topic*
Don't let the weight issue stress you out. The girls on our campus are all shapes and sizes. The key is finding who you fit in with socially and personality wise.
I think the only weigh ins that greeks do are for playing tug o war for greek week and there is a weight limit. :rolleyes:

chideltjen,

13 months!!! wow, that's young. I know how difficult it was for me when I was 11. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you and your family. How are you handling your diabetes...if you don't mind me asking?

PPL,

Emily

lady pi phi.

i pMed you!

Reviewing the thread I wonder if people are getting my point.

Again there seems to be a social issue that prevents us talking about weight in a meaningful way.

33girl yes there healthy people that are way overweight. Just as overly thin people are likewise healthy. Healthy means not visibly ill.

Excess thinness affects cholestrol levels, bone density and other things.

But we can't seem to discuss the long term health risks that are associated with being overweight. It tops the list of all most every major category of things-that-will-kill-us-faster.

So again, why is it so hard to have a dialogue about the issue? Isn't that failing our friends?

Are we being bad friends??
 

I thinkwe are being bad friends if we continue to let the people around us "eat themselves to death".
But James, have you ever tried to talk to a person who seemed to be overweight and you wanted to help? I would venture to assume that the majority of overweight people are depressed about their weight and might very well be overly sensitive. If you were to speak to them about their weight they might take that as you calling them fat. Not to say that they are, but sometimes you can be the most tactful person and things can get blown way out of proportion.
One cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Instead of speaking to them directly you might approch them subtly. If you were to go out dinner with an overweight friend instead of taking them to a bar and grill where most of the food is high in fat, adn saying to them, should you be eating that burger, you should be eating salad, while everyone one around them is eating that burger. Take them to a vegetarian restaurant or a health food restaurant, where the food choices are healthier, and eat healthy with them instead of telling them what they should and shouldn't eat.
When fraternities or sororities have dinners, the house should make sure that there are plenty of healthy choices available, or make sure all the food is healthy.
There is no easy way to let an overweight friend or even underweight friend for that matter, know that you are concerned for their health
I don't know, maybe I just rambled on here. I thinkwe just need to find out how we can be sensitive to our friends that might have eating problems so we can help them instead of making them feel more isolated.

Actually, its much easier to bring it up with guys . . . Most guys say they used to be in great shape lol. So its easier to motivate them.

I have never brought it up with a girl except in the context of goals and training.

I got a complaint once when I was talking with a girl over training routines (she was actually quite thin and older) when she was telling me her problem areas and I agreed that i could see them.

But if there is no way to bring up a dialougue about these types of issues people are going to have needless physical problems and mental anguish.

I have no good answer.

I agree with the whole choosing a healthier dinner place, but believe it or not, you will find that most people that are overwieght do not consistantly over eat at all.

In fact they often eat less than their thinner friends. I am not talking about the morbidly overweight of course.

Yes, well, we can be quite sensitive. I mean, some people no matter how hard you work your arms/abs/thighs are just NEVER going to have the definition they want--their bodies aren't built for it.

Instead of saying, yeah I can see them, a better approach is-- "DIet and targeted toning could help you feel better." You're saying yeah I can see them without hurting feelings, you're giving her a plan of action.

ABSOLUTELY. I routinely eat more than my overweight friends. But... then again, I am active--I work out everyday and have a fast metabolism, am burning more calories, so require more calories.

:)
Amy/on my way to Hawaii momentarily. ;)

Other than the same sort of bashing you'd get anywhere if you showed that your weight bothered you I don't htink there's any weight issues in the greek system.

I know that this is an old topic, but I think its interesting that there is 2 pages of people saying that weight doesn't matter. BUT> we all know that barbie sorority on campus. The one where the biggest girl in it is a 4 and they are all beautiful....Don't pretend like I'm making this up. You have to ask yourself if you can find sisterhood amoung these girls. But, yes, in situations weight can come into play. It makes me happy that everyone who has replied doesn't find it a problem in there chapter though.

I see no reason why there can't be a certain "type" that a sorority has. There are plenty of women that will fit any "look". And as long as the Greek system is strong enough than a house that caters to any specific image or interest can be at quota.

On Campus's with weaker Greek systems, there might be a problem.

But honestly a house with a reputation for thin attractive and friendly girls is going to have no problem filling recruitment quotas

I have seen houses with reputations as being heavy, have serious problems filling membership quota.

*shrug* It might be unpalatable but it doesn't make it untrue.

Weight is a very sensitive subject, but to say it doesn't exist as part of the "selection process" is kind of hard for me to believe.
Health aside, we are bombarded with pictures of what our society deems to be attractive. Being outside those images draws attention and can appear exagerated. I would venture a guess that overweight people catch our attention more frequently than an average, attractive person. Look at a photo. If everyone has blond hair except a few, you notice them. Same thing, if everyone has similar physical characteristics the few who stray from the norm, draw attention.

At LSU, there are the "blond" sororities and the "brunette" sororities. I've joked with a few about how "tiny", as in size 2,
a particulr sorority is...and that is a characteristic of the girls they attract. Stereotypes exit and just saying they don't, won't make them go away. It is sad, but weight plays into it.

Of course in every sorority you will find examples of variance in hair and eye color, level of intelligence, leadership and weight. When one characteristic becomes prevalent, in my opinion, we see stereotypes evolve. I don't know if this would apply to smaller Greek systems where PNMs are short supply.

I definitely agree with some of the comments made here. To think that weight does not affect sorority membership is a complete joke. Take a look at the National websites. How many overweight girls do you see on there? How many girls above a size 10? (I think a size 8 would be stretching it on some.)

Everyday I work with eating disordered women. The ones who are obscenely thin *do not* think they are. The ones who have compulsive eating disorders....yeah, they know they are overweight. They do not need a "friend" to tell them about it. I feel that if they approach you and ask for help, there is no problem. However, if I were in their situation, I would have a huge chip on my shoulder to have a size 6 friend give me weight loss tips, regardless of her intentions.

JAM: To comment on your wondering if smaller Greek systems & stereotypes. My college system was very small....about 80 girls going through recruitment. These girls were their own person before, then they "evolve" into their GLO's stereotype. They will completely change their looks, behavior, etc...to fit in with that house's stereotype.

And their is pressure to do it too. One house is known for the fact that all of their pledges "mysteriously" drop 15 pounds during their pledge period. And they tend to recruit "little" girls anyways. Sounds a little fishy to me....Then I found out (through our advisor, who is friends with this house's advisor) that they put the pledges on a weight loss program. Their reasoning? "We want to make sure that you live up to XYZ ideals."


Nothing fires me up like eating disorder/weight issues... *clicks "submit reply" and goes back to dreaming of Ben & Jerry's*

Moxiegrrl-And their is pressure to do it too. One house is known for the fact that all of their pledges "mysteriously" drop 15 pounds during their pledge period. And they tend to recruit "little" girls anyways. Sounds a little fishy to me....Then I found out (through our advisor, who is friends with this house's advisor) that they put the pledges on a weight loss program. Their reasoning? "We want to make sure that you live up to XYZ ideals."

I've been thinking about this and I keep coming back to it. On one level, they have a concept with potential, but it's so distorted, it's now something really UGLY!

I think it would be great for nutrition and health topics to have a place in the chapter meetings, maybe even help ward off those Freshman 15. Group physical activities-there are two gyms that a lot of the sisters belong to one focuses on stepping the other aerobics. They are motivated because it's a group thing and it's aiding in their overall health. I know their dinners are prepared with calories in mind compared to the dorm food. Anyone can sign up for the house meal plan. I know my biggest enemy at that age was BEER! It's cheap, it's available and it will add weight faster than peanut butter. (It can also break you out)
Anyway, proper nutrition and exercise are part of a healthy lifestyle (so I just spouted of an ad). Giving the girls the tools and the motivation is one thing. Doing it for that certain "look" is quite another. One works from a position of positive the other is all negative.

Weight matters in all aspects of lif and sorority membership is the same. I also think it depends on campus. At my school it was an issue and I think smaller or larger women can be assets but the main concern is personal presence and being polished. We had chapters that were certain types and they have been pretty strong and we have some that don't have a type and are as strong.

It doesn't matter to me, I just don't think any chapter would want to be known as the chubby girls and in todays world it looks like everyone is getting smaller and smaller so I'm sure eating disorders are more of an issue and I would rather my sisters be healthy than rail thin.

I agree with including nutrtion and exercise programs in chapter planning, but I think it is important to keep it more focused on improving members' health (and mood since exercise can make you happy!) rather than presenting the information with the emphasis on weight control. Eating a healthy diet and participating in regular aerobic exercise can improve self-esteem and improve one's health independent of weight loss whereas focusing on weight loss is more likely to alienate women who already feel separate because they have a more "unconventional" body type (unconventional for a particular school's system, not unconventional in the general population) while it may drive sisters who are already obsessive about calories and maintaining an unhealthily low weight further towards developping a full-blown eating disorder.
From working with women with disordered eating patterns, I've realized that it is not enough to try just to drop unhealthy patterns -- it is great to replace them with something else. No one of any size or weight should have to focus all their energy all the time on maintaining or achieving a certain ideal.

I think that "health" is sometimes used as a euphemism.

We all know chapters that wouldn't be caught dead with a size-10 girl at pref, much less in the pledge class. I've never known a selective system where big women were not cut more harshly than smaller women. I'm sure all the members of those skinny chapters would deny that they are cutting for weight...they'd say they want "healthy" pledges or "athletic" pledges or "pledges who take care of themselves."

The reason I don't always buy this explanation is: Do these same sororities cut women who smoke? That's a lot more unhealthy than an extra 20 pounds, but most groups I've come across do not inquire about smoking. I find that those skinny sororities are often full of smokers--and for that matter, tanning salon addicts, another extremely unhealthy practice. This is really about looks, not health, self-respect, or anything else.

I appreciate the few actives who are honest about this, and say, "We are looking for bright, motivated, kind, ATTRACTIVE women, and we define attractive thus." But most don't admit that this is what they're doing. Heck, at my best friend's alma mater, there's a chapter that may as well have a local by-law banning anyone over size 4...and their national creed mentions judging candidates by their moral worth, not their appearance!

Obviously, sororities are entitled to pick whoever they want to be in their group; it's the hypocrisy that bugs me.

Ivy

It's unfortunate that there are organizations out there that will recruit women based solely on the size of their jeans and how beautiful they are. I am not nieve, I know this goes on. However if this goes on on your campus, you have to ask yourself if this is the kind of organization that I want to belong to? If it is fine. To each his or her own. If it's not, then find somewhere else to go, or start an organization of your own. It can be done. I think it's great idea if GLO's discussed healthy lifesyles. Being at university is tough on everyone and it's difficult to find time to excersise and eat right. However, forcing your pledges to go on a weight loss program is awful. Being "overweight" doesn not mean that you cannot look beautiful, feel great, dress nicely, etc, etc. If a sorority has to force girls to go on a weightloss program because they are not living up to XYZ's ideals, maybe XYZ has to rethink it's ideal.

Emily

Lady Pi Phi,
I whole-heartedly agree!

As a formerly morbidly obese woman, I can attest to two things:

*A heavy person KNOWS they are heavy, you don't have to remind them.

*You never know what issues are behind the obesity, so stop judging people.

I will tell my personal story. Food, for me, was my drug, my alcohol, my cigarettes. It was and STILL IS my chosen drug of choice, an addiction. I ate to numb the pain of being abused as a child, nearly raped twice, and a social outcast. I was made to feel undesireable, thus making me hurt, so I ate to numb the pain, which made me feel bad, which caused me to eat more, which caused me to gain weight, which made me undesireable....ETC! So, as you can see, it's a vicious, painful cycle. It took me 26 YEARS to be ready to lose weight, what makes you think that just because you make a comment, that will work? It has to come from within, a place in ourselves so private and overwhelmingly personal, that only you know what trigger will set it off. For me, it was holding up a plane, making over 50 people a 1/2 hour late, becase they had to bump someone so I could fit in two seats. The humiliation and shame was all I could take. It was my wake-up call.

Obesity is usually a sign that there are deeper issues there, and the harsh, brutal treatment and judgement society feels so willing to give and thinks that for some ass backwards reason is helping, doesn't make it ANY better!

I fight with my self image everyday, because so many someones told me I wasn't anything worth their time, their love, their compassion. So, maybe that overweight girl you see coming thru recruitment is looking for friends who won't judge her, a place where she will finally feel ok. When someone becomes your friend, don't you feel a bit better about yourself? So too will she, and that may help her love herself more, start treating her body and soul with more respect, and help her lose the weight because it is unhealthy, not because society told her to.

I chose to lose weight because, just as an alcoholic who has hit bottom, I realized that my life was out of control, and I needed help. I got it. I still struggle everyday to pass up that cake, just like someone who gave up alcohol has to pass up that glass of wine. It's harder, because I HAVE to eat, my drug is in my hand 5-6 times a day.

Being heavy is made to be a sin, a crime. You are seen as a moral failure, and weight prejudice is the last acceptable form of vocal prejudice. It needs to stop. Just because a person has something about them that is different than the (illusion of a) norm, doesn't mean that there isn't beauty in them. There is, in all of us. Just as you would want someone to see in you, look for it in them. You may just see an angel looking back...

Just a quick note: when I was heavy, no one looked me in the eye. Now, people are saying I have beautiful eyes. It's probably the nicest thing about my new life....I can't stop looking into people's eyes.

thank you so much for sharing your story. it's sad, but very encouraging. i am an overweight person and i completely agree wilth you. i don't need to be told i'm overweight and that it is endangering my health. i know this. i get it all the time from my father. he thinks that if he tells me i'm fat i'll try to lose weight. he also tells me what to eat when we go out. excuse me!! i'm 22 years old!! i don't need to be told what to eat. i'm not a child. i know what i should and shouldn't eat. what i don't understand is why i'm staying the same size even though i only eat 3-4 meals a day that are properly portioned and i get the recommended amount of exercise. now, please don't come back on here and give me tips on what i should do to lose weight, cuz i'm tired of hearing it. i've tried everything in the book and i still don't lose weight. my weight was an issue when i went through rush. it was something that sisters looked at when considering me for their sisterhood. of course those are the chapters i didn't want to be affiliated with, but the fact is it happened. i know i'm overweight, but i don't think i'm ugly. i think i'm quite beautiful actually and it's taken me a long time to be able to say that.

shelley j
sigma k

ps - if you want to see what i look like, pm me and i'll send you a picture. then you can tell me how badly i need to lose weight.

in simplier words -
it's like telling an alcoholic or a drug addict they are an alcoholic or a drug addict. they already know that. you don't need to rub it in.


shelley j
sigma k

I envy you! I wish I was at that point, but I'm not yet. I try to, I'm told by MANY people I am, but until you believe it, you don't own it. I compliment and congratulate you on that...

Even if your weight isn't due to anything traumatic, it's hard to lose it. And heavy people are aware they're heavy, and many of them are trying to lose it, without much success. My mom struggled for years with her weight before successfully shedding her excess pounds. She's hardly stick-thin now, but she's healthy and comfortable.

If appearance is your concern for your chapter, be up front about it. Chapters range all over from wanting girls who are neat and clean to wanting beauty queens. But if health is your concern, it's not just the heavy girls. I know that in college I was at a "healthy" weight but it was all fat, no muscle. Not healthy! Health can be addressed as a chapter or by a small group of women. Start walking together, for example, or make a pact to do exercise tapes together. But nothing is going to happen unless the individuals participating want something to happen, and they are supporting each other rather than criticizing each other.