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-   -   Should I Colonize Or Wait 'til Next Fall... (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=143815)

Anonymous Student 09-12-2014 11:06 PM

...
 
Hello! I'm a non traditional, 21-year-old freshman at my university this year. I moved the weekend before school started because I was still working a job back home and missed formal recruitment. I'm sure if I had gone to college straight out of high school (back in 2011) I would have never given sororities a second glance but, now that I'm older I really see the benefits of joining. My Grandma was a Kappa Alpha Theta (so I guess that makes me a legacy), however, Pi Beta Phi is colonizing this year at my campus and plan to hold their recruitment this October (since they didn't participate in formal). I would have never imagined myself to be so torn up about this. For one, I've read about multiple experiences on both sides that formal and colonization have had extremely positive outcomes but, I can't help but worry if I go for Pi Phi that I'm putting all of my eggs in one basket. I act outgoing, but deep down I'm really insecure and have a hard time talking to people because I feel like no one "really" wants to talk or hang out with me. I just want to feel like I actually belong somewhere. So I wonder if Theta would be the better choice (or another sorority during formal recruitment) because they're already established and could show me the ropes unlike Pi Phi where I'd be learning the ropes with the rest of the girls. I just don't know and I don't feel like I can get enough information to convince me in making a choice. Also, if I wait 'til next fall, I'll miss out on the chance to help start a chapter from the ground up. That'd be something to talk about. I don't know. If anyone has any advice or tips, they'd be greatly appreciated!

Thank you.

thetalady 09-12-2014 11:16 PM

Quote:

Hello! I'm a non traditional, 21-year-old freshman at my university this year. I moved the weekend before school started because I was still working a job back home and missed formal recruitment. I'm sure if I had gone to college straight out of high school (back in 2011) I would have never given sororities a second glance but, now that I'm older I really see the benefits of joining. My Grandma was a Kappa Alpha Theta (so I guess that makes me a legacy), however, Pi Beta Phi is colonizing this year at my campus and plan to hold their recruitment this October (since they didn't participate in formal). I would have never imagined myself to be so torn up about this. For one, I've read about multiple experiences on both sides that formal and colonization have had extremely positive outcomes but, I can't help but worry if I go for Pi Phi that I'm putting all of my eggs in one basket. I act outgoing, but deep down I'm really insecure and have a hard time talking to people because I feel like no one "really" wants to talk or hang out with me. I just want to feel like I actually belong somewhere. So I wonder if Theta would be the better choice (or another sorority during formal recruitment) because they're already established and could show me the ropes unlike Pi Phi where I'd be learning the ropes with the rest of the girls. I just don't know and I don't feel like I can get enough information to convince me in making a choice. Also, if I wait 'til next fall, I'll miss out on the chance to help start a chapter from the ground up. That'd be something to talk about. I don't know. If anyone has any advice or tips, they'd be greatly appreciated!

Thank you.
Why do you feel that you have to choose between Theta and Pi Phi? Is Theta doing COB this semester? Unless I am missing something, you can interview & rush Pi Phi during colonization. If it does not work out, you can participate in formal rush in the fall and consider ALL of the sororities on campus, not just Theta. During formal rush, you do not rush with only specific sororities. You would have a lot more than just the 2 eggs in your basket :)

Griffins&Quills 09-12-2014 11:18 PM

Since you say you missed formal recruitment this year, I would at least consider looking at Pi Phi, going to some information sessions, sign up for an interview and see what happens. After all, as the old saying goes, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. With a colony, you get the ground up experience and you may have the opportunity to hold a leadership position sooner because you are older.

If Pi Phi doesn't work out for you, then you can try informal recruitment in the spring, if your campus offers it and/or formal recruitment the following fall

thetalady 09-12-2014 11:59 PM

^^^ What she said ;-)

AOII Angel 09-13-2014 12:16 AM

As a 21 year old, your best bet would be joining a colony as they actively look for women of all ages to approximate a normal chapter make-up. At your university, a 21 year old would have a difficult time getting a bid when the average PNM is 18-19 years old.

DubaiSis 09-13-2014 01:31 AM

^^^ This. Your chances of another opportunity as a 22 year old are pretty slim, unless you are at a primarily commuter campus that has a primarily nontraditional student population. Since you said Pi Phi is the colonizing chapter, and they are only colonizing at one place (so far) this year, you clearly are not at a commuter campus. I would absolutely put all of your eggs in this basket and hope for the best. If it should happen to not work out, then you can look into COB opportunities or trying again through formal rush next year.

/eta Sorry, my carrots were aimed at AOII Angel's post.

33girl 09-13-2014 03:46 AM

You have to realize that pretty much everyone you're going to be taking orders from will be younger than you. Your big sister will most likely be younger than you. If you don't have a problem with that, you need to find a way to convey it effectively in rush.

Bluebell4 09-13-2014 04:01 AM

As one of the posters above stated a colony tries to represent the makeup of a established chapter and will extend bids to a greater number of older women. You must remember that if you do receive a bid next year in formal recruitment you will be 3-4 years older than the greater majority of your pledge class. That being said a colony will need women who can bring experience to the table. If you have held jobs and.had real life responsibilities in the past you will probably be able to translate that quickly into positions of leadership if that is your goal. You may not be able to get a feel for the chapter at this point because it is new - this is a wonderful opportunity to work with the other founding members to make the chapter what you all want it to be. If there is a represtative of Pi Phi on campus already seek them out and have a chat with them - that's why they are there.

LAblondeGPhi 09-13-2014 06:51 AM

Quote:

Does age really have an effect on whether or not you get a bid? During orientation, there was a Greek Life lecture and they said that anyone can rush, sophomores, juniors and seniors. Why do they prefer 18 or 19-year-olds?
This thread from earlier in the summer has several pages of thoughtful answers to the question about older college students going through recruitment:
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ighlight=older

I'll repeat one of the things I mentioned in that post:
Because of your age, chapters are going to be concerned that you'll join, not like it, and drop out. Or that you won't be a very involved member because the activities will seem too juvenile or out of sync with what you want to do. You need to convince them that you've done your research regarding activities and requirements, and that you're fully on board. This includes study hours, philanthropy events, recruitment events and mixers with 18-year-old fraternity men.

Depending on the campus (I haven't looked up what campus you're at), being a sophomore in formal recruitment will severely limit your opportunities. Chapters want members who will be around for 4 years.

You seem to be really fixated on the idea of joining Theta during formal recruitment next year, so you need to do some research about the chapter and your odds of getting a bid next year from them.

For example: have you met any women in that chapter? How do you know that you'll mesh well with the personality of the women? There are plenty of legacies every year who really want to love their legacy chapter and then find out that it's a terrible fit.

Does your campus typically bid sophomores or older pnms during recruitment? You need to figure our your chances of getting a bid next year if you go through formal recruitment (hint: search GreekChat for info on about your campus).

Does Theta typically bid more or fewer sophomores than the average chapter during formal recruitment?

I personally think that the Pi Phi colonization is your best bet, and you'd be a fool to not at least go through the process.

Also - if you are INITIATED into an organization, you can never join another org. If you accept a BID to an organization, you cannot pledge another org for a calendar year (in this situation, I believe you'd still be eligible for formal recruitment next fall - someone correct me if I'm wrong). If you go through recruitment and do not accept a bid (sign a bid card), then there is no restriction on pledging another org.

amanda6035 09-13-2014 08:21 AM

I was a 22 year old college freshman who returned to school after serving in the military. When I started school there was only one sorority on campus, and I had no desire whatsoever to conform to someone else's rules and regulations after I just got out of the military. Not to say they didn't try, but I simply wasn't interested.

Fast forward to Spring semester, after my birthday, and Christmas break. First week back on campus, there were fliers everywhere for a new sorority colonizing. I had no idea what that meant, except that the fliers indicated that those who joined would have a big role in how it developed. I finally decided to go to an informational meeting just to see what it was all about... and long story short, I never looked back.

I'll tell you what they told me: They DO need some older members for colonies to balance out a bunch younger members. You wouldnt want a colony of ALL 18-19 year olds. Even a year or 2 makes a difference in your life experiences, leadership, and role model ability.

It was one of the best decisions I ever made. And I know for a fact that I wouldn't have had the opportunity anywhere else as a 23 year old salty sailor veteran. I wouldn't trade my experience for anything. Was it hard? Yeah. Was I envious of established chapters at larger schools who had more of the traditional sorority experience? You bet. But I still wouldn't trade it because every struggle and ever victory was worth it.

pinksequins 09-13-2014 09:21 AM

This is not USC (South Carolina - no Theta chapter) but probably a reinstatement of a chapter following a suspension or like period. That said, colonies provide the best opportunity not only for older new members (regardless of class standing) but also for "learning the ropes". OP, colonies are advised by carefully selected young alumnae (typically out of college a year or two) who spend the better part of the first year with a chapter because all colony members are learning the ropes. This helps ensure the success of the colony as well as a positive experience for the colony members. If you are shy, the individual interview process for colony membership also may work better for you. Lastly, legacy status is not assurance of selection by the legacy group.

BlueCarnation 09-13-2014 09:32 AM

OP, my grandmother and all her sisters were Thetas, and my grandparents met at a Sigma Chi/Theta mixer in college. I KNEW I was going to be a Theta when I went to college (I knew nothing else about sororities except Theta). You know what? I was cut by Theta. Just because your grandmother was a Theta doesn't mean you're going to be a Theta.

This is nothing against Theta--I have many friends who are Thetas, it is a fantastic organization that any young woman would be lucky to be a part of, and I actually have a soft spot in my heart for it because my grandmother was in it --but my point is: Just because you're a legacy to a sorority,it does NOT mean you will automatically be selected by that sorority. I went in with that mindset and it almost cost me a chance of being in any sorority.

I agree with others that your age may work against you. I know that is hard to hear. But I suggest giving Pi Phi a chance, and if you don't like it, try formal recruitment. Good luck!

FSUZeta 09-13-2014 09:34 AM

It sounds to me that you are trying to talk yourself out of being part of a colony, before colonization activities even begin. Give yourself a chance to like Pi Beta Phi. You have to go to their meetings, parties, and preference ceremony (or however they do colonizations). See what they are about, hear their plans, and meet the other interested PNMs. Most often, a colonization is the best chance for an older young woman to receive a bid-it really doesn't matter "WHY ?"...it is what it is.

pinksequins 09-13-2014 09:41 AM

FSUZeta is right! In addition to the special attention from the consultants, there will be a full social, philanthropic and team-building schedule that will rival those of the existing groups.

dukemama 09-13-2014 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinksequins (Post 2291357)
OP, Pi Phi has a wondeful website for the new colony at your school. Take a look at it.

What she said. Also, they have a Facebook page you might want to check out as well.

Katmandu 09-13-2014 06:01 PM

Quote:

But why is age such a huge issue? I'm still a freshman, if they're concerned with how long I'd be able to serve the chapter?
Chapters might be concerned because you are already 3 years older than the typical freshman and would be 25 as a senior. Chances are your tolerance meter for dealing with 18 year old women and men would be in overdrive by then. It really varies by campus, and I don't have the energy to investigate where PBPhi is colonizing this year. On a traditional campus PNM age can be an issue. On commuter and less trad schools, prob not much of an issue.

Greek life telling you sophs, jrs and srs can rush doesn't tell you what your realistic chances are... just that you can sign up. It's like the girl with the 2.8 HS average. Can she register? Yes. Will she get a bid? Maybe, but it will probably be quite limited opportunities. Colonies are unique experiences. You should at least investigate. Legacies don't carry as much weight anymore, especially from further up the line.

misscherrypie 09-13-2014 08:23 PM

Take the potential opportunities that being part of a new colony recruitment would give. Please, give it a shot.

I would have loved to have had the same potential opportunity. I too, was a non traditional student, although several years older than you. Unfortunately, it wasn't in the cards for me. You have a great opportunity open to you....I suggest that you grab it.

ChioLu 09-14-2014 08:12 AM

What a wonderful opportunity to be part of a new colony.
Pi Beta Phi will be looking for all ages and grade levels, so it will give you a chance for better consideration than if you wait a whole extra year for Formal Recruitment (as Formal can be really "ageist").
I would take this opportunity by the horns!
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
(And let GC know how things went.)

Good luck!

Blue Skies 09-14-2014 10:14 AM

As an older, nontraditional student, your best chance is with the colony. Pi Beta Phi is a wonderful organization and I believe that you would never regret joining, should you be given that opportunity.

AnchorAlumna 09-14-2014 02:36 PM

Let me add that being a part of a colony is a VERY bonding experience. It's also a real privilege and honor.

Anonymous Student 09-15-2014 04:06 AM

I just realized that there was a page two to my thread but, I’m also very amazed by all of the advice and support that I’ve received. This has been much more responsive than other forums I’ve posted to in the past. I definitely hear all of you loud and clear and I’ll be honest, this isn’t the response that I was initially expecting. I was expecting people to say, “Go to formal recruitment so you can visit all of the houses!” I never considered my age as a factor before I came on GreekChat. So I’m definitely convinced, and am really pumped now about going through the final stages of recruitment next month! I already bought my dress for preference night ($30 on Amazon)! On a side note, I haven’t purchased the cardigan to go with the dress yet...does it look like a PNM is trying too hard when she tries to wear the colors of the sorority she’s trying to get into? Anyways, again, I just want to say thank you to everyone who replied to my thread, it was really fun reading everyone’s point of view on the subject. And wish me luck! I’ll update the thread when I find out if they’ve accepted me or not. :)

Titchou 09-15-2014 06:55 AM

Yes, wearing the colors of the group is considered a little "too" - if you get my drift.

LAblondeGPhi 09-15-2014 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titchou (Post 2291805)
Yes, wearing the colors of the group is considered a little "too" - if you get my drift.

Well, I think if you wore just a burgundy or blue dress, you could be fine.

But you should definitely avoid these outfits:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6143/...b484b41c_z.jpg

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/73...7aface7011.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LL1EqRtP0V...ealmaroonb.jpg

http://photo.chicisimo.com/thumbs/fi...ain-single.jpg

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LVggmSVMZm...Cole+Pants.jpg

AOII Angel 09-15-2014 07:42 AM

Good luck!

FSUZeta 09-15-2014 08:10 AM

Please come back (or better yet, stick around and read the recruitment threads-there are a few colonization threads that might give you some insight) and let us know how everything goes. Best wishes!

DubaiSis 09-15-2014 08:11 AM

I probably wouldn't be as on the nose as that. Be seasonally appropriate and the correct amount of dressy in whatever colors look good on you and wear it with pride. Good luck!

Anonymous Student 09-15-2014 01:20 PM

So I already picked out my dress. And mostly because I already own the black version and it's a very comfy yet flattering dress (I wore the black one at my Dad's wedding so I have the skinny white belt too). So I was thinking maybe a white or black cardigan and white or black heels/flats. Not sure yet but I'm thinking blue and white would look cute together and keep it bright.

Anonymous Student 09-15-2014 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta (Post 2291813)
Please come back (or better yet, stick around and read the recruitment threads-there are a few colonization threads that might give you some insight) and let us know how everything goes. Best wishes!

Hey, are there any particular threads that you think I should read? I mostly posted my thread in the first place because I was having issues finding enough info about colonizing.

adpiucf 09-15-2014 03:26 PM

Coral or Yellow would be super pretty for a cardigan with that dress. Good luck! Agree with other posters that the colonization is your best shot. If you don't receive a bid from them, register for formal recruitment.

Sciencewoman 09-15-2014 06:52 PM

I wouldn't wear white shoes in the fall...stick with the black shoes with a black dress.

I like the idea of a colorful cardigan.


I'd LOVE to see my Pi Phi daughter's reaction if I suggested she try to recreate this ensemble:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6143/...b484b41c_z.jpg

wsucalsigmakapp 09-15-2014 07:06 PM

Best of luck in your colony recruitment!! If I am correct on what school you are at, and I believe I am, you will have a wonderful time being Greek! Pi Phi is a wonderful organization, and I really think you will enjoy what they have to offer!

Alpha O 09-15-2014 07:51 PM

I agree with everyone about colony recruitment being your best shot and it's great to see that you're so positive about it. Wishing you all the best in the recruitment process!

Quote:

Okay, so this is the dress that I picked out:
[link removed]
And mostly because I own the black and it's a very comfy yet flattering dress (I wore the black one at my Dad's wedding so I have the skinny white belt too). So I was thinking maybe a white or black cardigan and white or black heels/flats. Not sure yet but I'm thinking blue and white would look cute together and keep it bright.
If preference is scheduled for the evening, I would probably wear the blue dress with a darker colored cardigan, such as black. The blue dress with a white cardigan sounds really cute but the outfit would read daytime to me. Likewise, white shoes read daytime summer to me and since it's September I'd steer clear of those.

Alternatively you could wear a darker colored dress with a more brightly colored cardigan for pref, but I would avoid solid black dresses. Firstly, in my experience it is common for the sorority members to wear solid black (or white) dresses for pref. And secondly, I think a colored dress will make you look more youthful. :)

33girl 09-15-2014 08:36 PM

Please don't wear a white cardigan, belt or shoes. It's autumn.

Anonymous Student 09-15-2014 09:22 PM

Okay, so black belt, shoes and cardigan. And for the first day I plan on wearing my skinny, dark denim jeans and a blouse. I haven't decided on a blouse yet but I've narrowed it down to two choices.

Anonymous Student 09-15-2014 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wsucalsigmakapp (Post 2291942)
Best of luck in your colony recruitment!! If I am correct on what school you are at, and I believe I am, you will have a wonderful time being Greek! Pi Phi is a wonderful organization, and I really think you will enjoy what they have to offer!

If you're referring to the school in your username than yes. ;)

Hartofsec 09-15-2014 09:36 PM

Quote:

Okay, so black belt, shoes and cardigan. And for the first day I plan on wearing my skinny, dark denim jeans and a blouse. I haven't decided on a blouse yet but I've narrowed it down to:
Those read a little too summer to me, especially the second one.

Of course maybe I'm being a little too southern "mom." I still observe the "no white after Labor Day" rule too, lol.

IndianaSigKap 09-15-2014 09:40 PM

This school is NOT in the South, far from it. Also, white heels are being shown in fashion magazines. Wear what you're comfortable wearing. I absolutely take fashion risks now and then, but in a go-to situation I wear something I feel good wearing, something tried and true. I promise you that the women in charge of the colonization are much more concerned with what's on the inside than what's being worn on the outside. Be your best you and enjoy the experience!

Hartofsec 09-15-2014 09:56 PM

One other thing -- after you have received feedback on your choices and made your selections, it would be a good idea for you (and for us) to remove the links to your choices so that you are not recognized during recruitment.

All the best to you -- let us know how it goes. I think you made a great choice to participate in the colonization!

Hartofsec 09-15-2014 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndianaSigKap (Post 2291983)
This school is NOT in the South, far from it.

Wouldn't it be cooler there in October (and less like summer) than in the South? We are talking about a location a few hundred miles from the Canadian border, right?

It certainly does seem far from the South -- just not in the summer direction. :)

33girl 09-15-2014 10:48 PM

It also rains a lot. Rain + white shoes = hot mess (regardless of the time of year)


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