A drama filled, rollercoaster Back to School themed recruitment!
 

Hello!

I went through recruitment a few weeks ago and it was definitely the most emotionally draining and amazing times of my life and it's weird because i've met some women I know I will be close to for a very long time during recruitment, but also i've made painful memories that are difficult to bring up in just one short week.

I had an older sister in Greek Life and she is currently a senior at the same school I go to, so I had a lot of background knowledge (which probably ended up hurting/helping me in the end) and I'd visited her countless times, so i had made a lot of acquaintances and friends in sororities as well. However at this point, my sister was at the end of the rope with her sorority and was having a lot of problems and was probably dropping. She said she knew me too well and did not want me joining this chapter because she knew it wasn't for me and said she new for a fact her house had some tricks up their sleeve, especially for legacies.

I tried not to listen and go in with an open mind. But I knew quite a few girls in the house and wouldn't put anything like that past them, but still. It was only fair to go in with an open mind.

This year at my school, more girls had signed up for recruitment than ever before and the whole campus (well everyone in Greek Life or PNMs) were buzzing about it and excited to see how it all turned out.

So anyway, recruitment began on a sunday and was just programming and campus tours and that was the same on Monday as well. I was super nervous and just really eager to visit chapters and get to know them for myself and showcase my personality.

Tuesday was the day! Today was open house day and PNMs would either be visiting 6 houses or 7 houses, since there are 13 on campus. The first day, I visited 6.

The first one I visited was Princeton. I had heard a lot about this chapter, both good and bad, but i'd say this one was probably the most "infamous". But I didn't care at all. I just wanted to go in! They opened their doors and a sea of beautiful women poured out of the doors and they were chanting loudly in their cute skirts and wedges. Their song was catchy and I would die if I had to talked to 900 women for 2 days wearing wedges in the heat, but damn they had some great showmanship. I had really great conversations there and the women were really nice and funny and the conversations flowed like no other. These girls definitely knew what they were doing. This house was definitely one of my top favorites.

The second one I visited was UMich. These girls have had the highest GPAs on campus for several consecutive years and I was really intimidated going in because I had a 3.0 GPA and felt like I had no chance here. The conversations were lackluster and the women I talked to were only talking to me about random things like what I did during the summer, where I worked, what kind of music I liked and what concerts I went to. Everyone speaks so highly of them that I thought I would have a fantastic conversation, but it just wasn't there. But I had visited this chapter last spring when my school had something similar to a Greek Preview Day and they were very nice there, I just probably talked to the wrong girls, which was fine.

The next chapter I visited was Ole Miss. I had also heard many things about this house. They had the second highest GPA and were pretty academic, but also know as the "party girl" house. And the party girl rep didn't really phase me because they can't be too crazy if they have the second best GPA right? My conversations here were iffy. I had 2 really good ones and 2 bland ones. I felt lukewarm about this house.

The next chapter I visited was LSU. This one was probably my second favorite, if not favorite house of all of them throughout the whole week. I had an amazing conversation with every girl I talked to and they were funny and interesting, but I still answered questions about school, involvement and what I would bring to a sisterhood. When I was talking about leadership, a girl actually stopped me to say she looked up to me! I loved this house so much and I knew a girl from high school in this chapter and my sister made it really far during recruitment with this house and two girls even recognized me as her sister, so I felt like I would definitely make it far with these girls.

The next one up was Wake Forest. I had a better time than I expected here. I liked them and they were nice and our conversations were pretty good. However, when I asked one girl about what their new member program was like, she said and I quote: "Yeah it's pretty dumb and long and there's a lot of pointless meetings. But luckily we don't have tests like some other houses." I liked this chapter, but that definitely turned me off and I was shocked she would say that about something so important.

The sixth and last chapter I visited was UGA. This chapter was AMAZING! I had a friend in this chapter and we even talked for a second while I was here. I had hilarious conversations here and I loved this house because they asked me fun things, important things, but also let me know about them which I really loved. I thought I definitely had a great connection with them.

Today was hard because even though they all weren't 100% perfect, I had a good time at every house and could honestly see myself in all of those chapters! How was I ever going to preference?

This day was exhausting and I could feel my voice giving out already, but recruitment was so fun! I'm extroverted, so talking about myself and talking with different people was really fun for me, but I was still just as nervous as everyone else and just wanted to see if the feelings were mutual and see who invited me back, but mostly to get the week over with and see what chapter I would be in.

QFP

Sounds fun!

Geaux LSU!

I love your codes, can't wait for the next installment!

Day 2 of recruitment!

Everyone in my Rho Gamma group was awesome! I was making friends and having some hilarious times with the girls in the group. We had 3 sophomores in the group. One transferred and didn't have Greek Life at her old school and the other two were going through recruitment the second time around.

I was talking to one of the girls who went through before and she said and i'll never forget: "Whatever you do, don't suicide or you'll end up like me doing this all over again." That really resonated with me and I held that advice all week long and it's almost like it was haunting me. In hindsight, now I laugh at that.

The first chapter we visited today was Duke. This chapter probably had by far the most tent talk about them. They are on social probation with the university and aren't allowed to do anything with other fraternities and sororities like date functions. This didn't bother me because it's not like they're in trouble forever and the social aspect is fun, but wasn't a factor in my decisions at all. Besides, I could party on my own with sistsers, so probation didn't even matter! The conversations I had were really sweet and the ladies here were very genuine. I liked this huse and all the women I talked to and I could see myself here.

The next chapter on the list was USC. I was so excited to go to this chapter. I had one of my closest friends and 2 other good friends in this chapter and I was so excited. The girls I talked to were great and we had hilarious conversations. Everyone I talked to was really genuine and didn't make me feel like I was just another PNM to talk to and get over with. My friends said hi to me when I was there and I loved it! They had the cutest cups for the water too! They were in pink mason jars with white and pink straws. I don't know why I remember this, but I loved it! I really felt at home here.

The next chapter was Pepperdine. I also knew a very sweet girl in this house and a lot of the girls in my Rho Gam group said these girls were weird and they didn't like it here, so I wanted to see for myself. The girls here so so nice and sweet! They seemed genuinely interested and I had some pretty good conversations. I had one bad conversation where I had to do all of the questions, but I really liked everything else.

The next house was the one I had a pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat before I went to. This chapter was Rutgers. AKA my legacy house and the house my sister was in. Right when I walked in, they'd paired me up with my sisters big. The whole conversation was essentially about my sister, which wasn't a surprise because after 18 years of being under her shadow, it's nothing new. Then I talked to suprise! Her little. The conversation was the exact same as the first one, about my sister. In total I talked to 6 girls at this house and I felt like I couldn't even carry a decent conversation because someone kept on interrupting and saying: "OMG! You're ______'s sister! You look just like her! We're so excited to have you here! Are you liking Rutgers so far?" I felt really uncomfortable and it was really disheartening because I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt and think they would be genuine, but I knew they weren't. Just like my sister told me, they made me talk to every girls that I already knew, the prettiest girls and girls in exec positions.

The next chapter I visited was UCLA. I can't say I remembered too much about this house, but the girls I talked to were nice and I visited them during the Greek Preview in the spring and the women I talked to then were very sweet. They didn't stand out to as much now, but I still liked them there. I definitely wouldn't mind going to UCLA!

The next chapter is Arizona State. Even though I tried my hardest to listen to music and talk to rho gammas during breaks to not hear any sidewalk talk, I heard a lot about Arizona State. These girls were known as the "bottom of the bottom" and the things other PNMs were saying about them were very hurtful and i bothered me that they were just like any other sorority and worked their tails off to give everyone a great recruitment experience and people weren't giving them a chance. When we first got there, the president and recruitment VP at their chapter were beautiful and wearing SKY HIGH silver platform heels! They looked like disco balls and I felt bad for their feet! The first girl I talked to was kind of awkward and I had to ask all of the questions abou her, but then the othert girls I talked to were nice and interesting!

The last chapter of the day was Stanford. I remembered this chapter because their house is right next to Princeton and their door chant was so loud that I don't even remember Princetons! The women I talked to were really fun and bubbbly and the girl I was talking to used to be the recruitment vice president last year, so I felt super nervous talking to her because I felt like she knew exactly what to look for and could spot any BS from a mile away. Besides that I had awesome conversations there and really loved the house and everyone I talked to. But it was difficult talking to them because their house smelled like a strange combonation of flowers and bacon.... Either way, I looooved Stanford!

So preferencing was difficult because I honestly liked everybody, but I ranked them like this:

1. Stanford
1. Princeton
1. UCLA
1. USC
1. Arizona State
1. Pepperdine
1. Duke
1. LSU
1. Wake Forest
1. UGA
2. UMich
3. Ole Miss
4. Rutgers

I thought I honestly had amazing conversations everywhere and I was feeling confident in my decision and honestly even if I didn't get a full schedule the next day, I knew I liked basically all of the chapters, but couldn't seen myself in a couple. I was just nervous to see what my schedule would be the next day because honestly, you never know what to expect!

Sounds like you had a good time meeting the chapters... I look forward to reading more!

Ooooooooo.....ranking the legacy house dead last.

When I rushed my sister's chapter, they ASKED me each day if I wanted to meet a new sister or go with a girl I already knew. The day I (exhausted and OVER IT) said I'd like to go with a known sister is the day they cut me. I think it was probably more about me being exhausted and over it than them cutting me for talking to a friend, but I honor them for having given me the choice and not making my rush into my sister's rush part 2.

Lol at the house smelling like flowers and bacon. Note to house mom....during rush, keep breakfast odor neutral. Love your story!

Anxiously reading!

Philanthropy day!

Today was the day! I was so scared to see which chapters invited me back? Would I get a full schedule? Would the houses I love invite me back? Questions were flying everywhere! For some reason, Panhellenic at my school could have passed for directors of thriller suspense movies because they waited until the absolute last second to give us our schedules. Our Rho Gam passed us our schedules and I looked at it but didn't even internalized it, my eyes just glazed at it.

I was invited back to:

1. USC
2. UCLA
3. Wake Forest
4. Pepperdine
5. Arizona State
6. Rutgers
7. UMich
8. Princeton

I was absolutely shocked, both good and bad. Princeton and USC invited me back, which I was relieved of because they were amazing. But UGA and LSU dropped me. UGA was kind of a long shot since I guess they were considered a "top" house, but I did have a good friend in there and I was surprised I didn't get invited back to at least one round. But what hurt the most was LSU. I loved LSU soo much and honestly I would've been content being dropped from half the houses I got invited back to if LSU invited me back. But it is what it is and I still got invited back to 8/10 houses. That 80%.

But oddly enough, I got invited back to UMich, which was a huge shocker since they have the best grades on campus and my GPA was average at best and apparently they always drop the most girls because of their grades and being completey honest, i'd droppped UMich and Ole Miss because I knew they had the highest grades and I didn't think I had any chance of being invted back to them. But I still got invited back to UMich which was amazing!

But worst of all, I got invited back to Rutgers. I wasn't surprised because as a legacy, I'm pretty sure i'm supposed to be invited back to at least one round, so it wasn't a shocker, but I was still annoyed.

Meanwhile, all of my close friends in my Rho Gamma group got invited back to all 10 houses, but I kept reminding myself that I would only be joining one. Meanwhile, one of my friends in a different Rho Gamma group got invited back to only 1 and another friend in a different rho gamma group got invited back to 3. 2 of them she hated and one of them she loved, USC. Luckily we both loved them and got invited back to USC and we even went there together for our party!

So first I went to USC, who was amazing as I expected. at USC I was paired up to talk to all of my good friends in the house. I had great conversations with all 3 of them and the conversations went seamlessly and it was almost too perfect. I didn't remember too much about their philantrhopy or what they actually do, but I still had a great time there and going there first put me in a great mood for the whole day.

Next, I went to UCLA. Their philanthropy is probably one of the most popular on campus and I went to it with my sister last year and had a good time. I loved their philanthropy and their video was so sad. I only talked to two girls there and the conversations were kind of boring, but I still liked them. I was talking to one girl at UCLA and she spilled her water all over me! It was actually really funny and she felt so bad, but since I didn't have a full schedule, I had 2 breaks after this and had more than enough time to dry off.

After my breaks, I went to Wake Forest. Their philanthropy was also really sad and I actually had really good conversations there. A lot better than yesterday. I feel like they got to know me a little better today. But another awkward moment happened today! We were doing their craft which was pretty serious, concerning the topic and I was talking a lot with my hands and knocked lemonade all over the craft.... The girl was really nice about it, but I still felt awful! I was red the whole time and couldn't wait to get out.

I then went to Pepperdine. I liked Pepperdine and their philanthropy video was so sad because a girl in the Pepperdine chapter at my school was affected by it and their philanthropy was really close to home for her, which made them all the more passionate for it which I thought was really sweet. Everyone was talking about this chapter because today they served iced coffee which was awesome because sbeing at the houses longer and having to go back to back was so tiring. Anyway, I talked to really nice girls here and they told me about their philanthropy events, which sounded really fun. I really liked Pepperdine.

Next was Arizona State. Again, their philanthropy was really sad because it was a cause that a lot of people identify with and was close to home for me as well. The conversations weren't as good, but their craft was really fun. We made paper hearts out of dollar bills and put them into the jar of our choice which represented a specific chairty, which was awesome. Honestly their video was really long and their craft was so detailed that we didn't even have time to talk. I hardly remember this house.

The one I dreaded all day was Rutgers. When I got there, surprise surprise, I was picked up by somebody I already knew and somebody I talked to the day before. I wasn't trying to be outwardly rude because I have more manners than that and their philanthropy was one I actually volunteered for a lot during high school, so I showed interest, but honestly it was so hard in this house. Similarly, my sister called me the day before and said she got into a really big arguement with the girls in her chapter the other night during membership selection and decided she was not going to participate in the membership selection portion and just made hundreds of italian sodas all day long. Again, at Rutgers they kept on talking about my sister, which was confusing because she seemed to hate it so much and they kept on asking me how recruitment was going and how I liked Rutgers, which didn't seem right to me and was getting on my nerves because my recruitment wasn't their business and my sister knew I loved USC and she said she told some of her closer friends in the chapter that USC was my favorite, which didn't bother me because hopefully then they'd take the hint.

The next chapter I visited was UMich, who I was excited for because they were giving me another chance and it felt like I was giving them another chance since my conversations during Open House weren't that good. I loved UMich today! Their philanthropy sounded like a lot of fun and I liked what it stood for. And this was the first chapter that actually talked about their social calendar, which was interesting to hear. We talked about swaps, formals, Greek Week and Homecoming, which was interesting to hear!

Last, but definitely not least was Princeton! I was excited to be back here as well, because I had awesome conversations. They definitely pulled at ALLLLL the stops today. They played their philanthropy video, which seemed like it was a commercial or some type of ad because it was made by one of the girls in the house and they looked like models. They video was super short and then throughout the living room they had mini golf! They had those fake golf greens, hot pink golf clubs with hot pink golf balls that had their letters on them. Again, I was extremely impressed with their showmanship. They're considered a "top house", but I had a friend my cheerleading who was in this house and dropped last year. Apparently there was a bit of a scandal and some infighting and about a dozen girls either dropped or got dropped last spring. That scared me, but I still really liked them.

The next day was house tours and we could only got to up to 7, so I could only cut one. I didn't really care for Arizona State anymore, but there was no way I wanted to be in Rutgers, so I ranked Rutgers at the bottom, so I preferenced just like this:

1. USC
1. UCLA
1. Wake Forest
1. Pepperdine
1. Arizona State
1. Princeton
1. UMich
2. Rutgers

Today was a surprise and I didn't think i'd get the schedule I got, but I'm happy with the ones I got back. Now I waited anxiously to see how House Tours Day would turn out!

UCLA has such a pretty campus and I love awkward recruitment stories, so go UCLA!

I am cheering for Arizona State.... :)

Haha, obviously I'm cheering for UCLA.

I love this story and all of the juicy drama involved! :cool: I also love your attitude and can empathize with you...that's annoying that you feel "pulled" into Rutgers because of your sister. I can understand why you don't feel they're giving you a fair shot as an individual, not just as an extension of your sister.

Looking forward to hearing how this all ends!!

I have to ask - other than ONE obligatory comment about a PNM being an in house legacy, did I belong to the only chapter who was NOT permitted to discuss the original sister? Well, unless the PNM brought up her sister, that is.

As I graduated from Arizona State, I'm rooting them on.

House Tours Day!

I was feeling pretty good about Philanthropy yesterday and I was eager as usual to get my schedule for the day! Again, Panhellenic waited until the absolute last minute to give us our schedules back. I was the last name called by my Rho Gamma and when I finally got my schedule, I had no time to react.

1.Rutgers
2.USC

I had been dropped by 5 chapters. What did I do wrong? How did I get cut by so many? My Rho Gamma told us that many chapters drop PNMs for grades after the first round and if anytime during the week we were released from recruitment or got heavy cuts, we would be called at night to know before. So I was expecting the worse then and definitely didn't expect that coming today.

But being a sleep-deprived teenage girl that had a damper on her self-esteem, I cried. But I had to get myself together for my party at Rutgers.

So the first chapter I went to was Rutgers and half of the PNMs were getting house tours from members and the other half were having conversations in the living room. I was having my conversations first. I was talking to a woman and surprise! The first thing she said was: "So HereComesTheSun, I know you're _______'s sister. How's recruitment going. Are you liking it? Are you excited to be back at Rutgers? We really like you here and you're just like your sister, so you'll fit in great here."

She barely finished her sentence before I broke down crying. I couldn't take it anymore. Was I allowed any autonomy or freedom to be my own person anymore? It hurt so much and it was so frustrating because the majority of these women actually didn't even know my name and i'm pretty sure they wouldn't if I didn't have my name tag on. And even though I did just like everyone else, they still called me Baby (my sisters name or last name), Little (my sisters name or last name), _______'s sister or if they really just didn't care, my sisters name.

I throughout the week I smiled and said: "Hahaha my name is HereComesTheSun and I'd prefer that please!" But that didn't matter I guess. I felt permanently attached to my sister and Rutgers. I know i'm a legacy, so i'm considered as such, but this didn't feel right and it felt like this was being forced upon me against my will.

So I asked the girl rushing me if I could go to the bathroom and on my way to the bathroom, I saw my sister and she took me to the private bathroom and I bawled my eyes out in there. My sister told me that the girls in Rutgers were really trying to rush me hard because they knew I liked USC and they really wanted me. My sister again did not take part in membership selection or even talking to PNMs because she was growing so tired of Rutgers. So I finally got myself together and left the bathroom. The girl who was rushing me left and a woman I talked to early in the week on exec gave me a house tour.

She barely gave the tour and said to almost everything: "I'm sure you've already seen this" or "I'm sure you know about this from your sister.". But as she was showing me the rooms, she said: "We have 3 open spots in the house. Would you be interested in lving in?"

NO! I didn't like them at all and I've been in my dorm for 4 days! I wanted to get the freshman experience of living in a dorm and I told her that.

This house tour was a disaster and I couldn't wait to get out of here. After we finally left, I got to go on a break, then go to USC, which I couldn't wait for.

After my break, I went to USC and my day definitely got a lot better. The ladies were fun and sweet as usual and gave us a tour of the house which was beautiful. The girl I was talking to was really nice and funny and was asking me great questions and really getting to know me. She was telling me about how everyone in the house thought it was haunted and how they all stayed up the night before telling ghost stories of creepy things that happened in the house.

Then we started exchanging roommate stories and it was hilarious because my roommate talks in her sleep and there was a girl in the sleeping porch that walked in her sleep!

But I digress. I had a great time there and my friends gave me quick hugs and waves and it just felt really right there. I knew it before, but that day I could honestly really see myself being a member of that house, living in and even having a leadership position at some point because it just felt like home.

At USC, I felt like I could really be myself and I didn't feel like I had to be a D-1, all-star PNM like other chapters I visited. And they didn't make me feel uncomfortable or weird like other houses. Which is ironic in juxtaposition to Rutgers because I knew many girls at both houses and I know both houses liked me, but they both showed their interest and treated me completely differently.

Anyway, I had a great time and didn't want to leave. But after I did, I could do my preferencing early because I had no other chapters to go to for the day and since I didn' go to the maximum number, I just put down USC and Rutgers.

Later in the evening, we had programming where we learned all about preferencing and how the preference card was a binding contract that lasted up to a year with no exceptions and when it comes down to it, if you write all of the chapters you get, on bid day you get what you get. They told us a statistic that last year, 88% of the PNMs who maximized their options and put down all of the chapters they visited on pref day, whether it was one chapter, two chapters or three, got their first choice.

They really stressed the fact that you're supposed to maximize your options no matter what and not maximizing your options could be detrimental. I heard this before and even read it all the time on GreekChat and read the fact that if you did single intention preferencing, you would not be able to be made a quota addition, so this scared me into making myself maximize my options. Also, I remembered what the sophomore in my Rho Gamma group saying about how the biggest mistake she made was suiciding.

So I had all of that in my mind and the fear of tomorrow. Preference day.

Would I get invited back to USC? Would Rutgers finally drop me? Would I get invited back by anybody! This was probably one of the hardest days during recruitment because my mind was swirling with "what-if's"

1. I'm loving this story, and
2. A prime example of the blessing and the curse of being a legacy!

Keep it coming! Love hearing your story!

Ironically enough, my roommate who was also going through recruitment, was a legacy to Pepperdine and was absolutely in love with them but got dropped from them on this day.

Funny how things work :rolleyes:

This should be Exhibit A on how NOT to rush a legacy.

No one wants to be the "Baby" version of their sister or their mother, especially not in their first semester of college. Good Lord.

Ugh... agree 100%. I hope, hope, hope you are invited back to USC and that Rutgers cops a clue!

LOL, rush infraction much?

My thoughts exactly.

The legacy situation definitely IS a blessing and a curse! My daughter rushed this year and was cut heavily early on, possibly due to the fact that other houses assumed she would choose her sister's sorority. Luckily for her, she did pledge her sister's sorority and couldn't be happier! She did feel that her options were limited by being a legacy, though, so I can definitely understand how you feel! I can't wait to hear how this turns out!

Filling open spots in the house don't always = getting a bid. But for a rush this big it's pretty weird. I mean that they would even ADMIT they had open spots in the house. That would make PNMs wonder why that was even if they liked the chapter.

The fact that Rutgers is so clueless that older sister is fed up with the group is more disturbing to me than any of the dirty rushing.

Preference day is here!

Today is the day. Preference day is the final day before bid day and it seemed like that week dragged on, but went faster than the speed of lightning.

I put on my best dress, wedges and my favorite necklace and mentally prepared myself for what could have happened. I didn't get a call the night before saying i'd been released. So I could've been invited back to one chapter or both.

Before I left my dorm, my sister called me and told me she had officially sent in her resignation letter and went alum. I was not surprised at all. She told me not to feel pressured and to make the decision that was best for myself and only myself and go with my gut instincts. She said her gut instinct was to drop her sorority before initiation and go through recruitment a second time or do informal, but she got intiated instead regretted it wholeheartedly because now she is bound for life, no matter what.

That definitely scared me and my heart was jumping out of my chest before I left.

We walked to the area where we usually get our schedules and all of the color had been drained out of my face and I had no idea what was going on or what my schedule even was, but I was expecting the worst.

I finally got my schedule and the look on my face was priceless.

1. USC
2. Rutgers

The same schedule as yesterday. I was so excited I made it this far with USC because I had other friends that got dropped from houses they knew a lot of girls in during recruitment and I was so relieved that I got invited back to my number one again. But I still got invited back to Rutgers which amazes me to this day. I left a conversation midway to go to the bathroom andd cry and came back with my face red and tear stained and barely said a word, but I still got invited back.

Luckily I got invited back to USC so I could put my absolute best foot forward and really let them know that this was where I wanted to be and could proudly wear the letters for for the rest of my life.

I walked to USC very determined and one of the girls I talked to earlier in the week pref'd me and I absolutely loved her. She was so nice and I was excited that she was the one pref'ing me. This day was the longest so we talked about everything from how recruitment was going to what stores we could spend our ladt penny at.

She was a senior, so she was talking about how much she loved her chapter and how hard it was to go through recruitment for the last time because it's just another step on the way to graduating and becoming an alum and that made me emotional because the fact that she loved it so much and was so dedicated really made me 10 times more passionate about USC. So I started crying and she started crying and then we were laughing at each other and it was just really nice.

I was crying because I loved them so much and they invited me back every day. I was crying because the girl pref'ing me was so sweet and I didn't want to see her leave her chapter even though everyone eventually does. I was crying because I was afraid of bid day.

After the conversations ended, we went into their living room and other seniors in the chapter were reading letters and then they sang songs and it all was just so moving. My friends in the chapter cried and hugged me at the end and I cried again to and they told me everything was gonna be alright.

I left USC happy, scared, confident and content.

Then I had to go to Rutgers.

Rutgers was seriously scaring me because my sister is an initiated member and per national policy, legacies that make it to preference are automatically put on the first bid list. That scaring the living hell out of me.

When I went to Rutgers, a girl I already knew before who was also the Executive Vice President was pref'ing me. Like any other day I visited, it was awkward.

She asked me general questions like how I was doing, how recruitment was going for me but then she started asking me questions that had me very taken aback. She asked: "So do you know what houses you're choosing? Do you know what decision you're gonna make?" I was stunned.

1. Yes. I knew exactly what decision I was going to make.
2. Why the hell was it her business to ask me? I didn't ask her if they knew who they were giving bids to.
3. As an older woman who holds an executive decision, she should know better not to ask a PNM such a question

But besides all of that, I wasn't going to be outwardly rude or tell her what I was going to do because again, it just wasn't her business. So I just replied: "Yeah, i'm pretty sure what i'm gonna do But making my decision might be a little hard." She then was like: "Well, you look conflicted, I can reassure you." She then was talking about the chapter and all the the things they done and awards and competitions they've won and just how close their sisterhood was and how they weren't like the other chapters that were cliquey and didn't have what they had and I was honestly digusted.

They took us to their living room where girls were singing songs about the chapter and in between, she kept saying how conflicted I look and was telling me more about the chapter that I honestly didn't care about and I was just itching to leave and make my preference. I wanted to leave and crawl out of my skin.

When it was finally over, she gave me an awkward hug and said: "Hope I made your decision a lot easier!"

After we visited all of our chapters, we were allowed to do our final preferencing. I looked at the preference card and read the agreement one last time. One of the Rho Gammas asked me if I needed any help or needed anyone to talk to about what I was going to do and in hindsight I kick myself for not listening to her, talking to my own Rho Gamma because maybe things would have been different.

But all I could think of in my mind was the director of sorority and fraternity life saying 88% of the women who maximized their options got their first choice and I remembered the girl in my Rho Gamma group saying the worst mistake she made last year was suiciding. And I remembered what I had read on Greek Chat saying women who suicided were not eligible to be a quota addition of a chapter.

Tha scared me and so I preferenced USC as first and Rutgers as second.

I turned it in feeling confident about my decision and following the rules.

When I left, I saw my friend who had Rutgers and USC just like me and suicided just USC. She said: "Well if I get a call tonight, that means I didn't get a bid and if I don't that means I got one."

After that, I immediately regretted my decision.

Spoiler: She never got the call that night and now is a proud member of USC.

I hope you are writing the final installment of your story - I look forward to reading it.

Dying.

So did your sister turn in her pin/terminate her membership or take alumnae status?

Oh my goodness, this is more suspenseful than my own recruitment. Hope that you get USC!

I'm amazed that somehow, someone got me to cheer for USC, but here we are.

Ahem... please continue!!! I'm hoping you're wearing red and gold (wow - I really never thought I'd say that).

What? Don't leave us hanging! :eek:

Must. Finish. Now.

HereComesTheSun, please don't Wait 'Till the Sun Shines, Nellie to finish your story!

I was really hoping for the final installment. Also, I generally root against USC as a rule, but here I am hoping USC is victorious.

Well later that night, my stomach was in knots and all I could think about was how I made the wrong decision and I should have suicided.

Then at around 1 in the morning, I get a call from my sister telling me I got a bid from Rutgers. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me. I told her to stop kidding because my sister is a jokester, but she was being completely serious and told me that I was in the top 25 of the bid list and she talked to my friends in USC and I was on their first bid list, but not that high, so unless I suicided, I wouldn't have been in USC.

I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I was so shocked, hurt and confused. I talked to my Rho Gamma and she told me I was under no obligation to go to bid day if I didn't want to and if I still had just one little ounce of wonder if I got in USC to go to bid day breakfast, but after talking to my sister. I knew it wasn't a joke even though I hoped and prayed it was.

I went to the bid day brunch and we waited and waited to see what bid we got or if we're sticking to the theme, get their college acceptance. At the end when our Rho Gamma passed us our envelopes, I could see through and it said Rutgers. So ironically recruitment was like my actual college application process and I didn't get into USC. :rolleyes:

I started crying and I cried even harder when my friends were jumping next to me screaming because they all got their number ones and everyone ran out of the room to run outside to their new sisters and I just cried and then left. The worst part in the world was that USC and Rutgers are next door neighbors and just feet from each other, so I had to see everybody in USC screaming and embracing their new members and I had to walk with my tail between my legs to Rutgers.

It's still even hard to this day.

It's been three weeks since recruitment ended and I talked to my big and just dropped today. The straw that broke the camels back was when I went to the chapter and one of the older members said: "We know you really liked USC, but we put you in the top 10, so we got to have you instead of them." They said those exact words and that was the end for me.

I talked to the director of Greek Life at my school and explained what happened at Rutgers and what went on and she told me I actually wasn't the first person that this happened to and there are other girls that complained of this happening at Rutgers.

I actually talked to 2 other girls in my pledge class that were legacies and had the same exact thing happen to them.

I feel so disappointed with what happened and I honestly feel robbed of a good sorority recruitment experience. I wish I could make it a happy ending and I wish I could have stuck it out, but I couldn't make myself be a part of something that just wasn't for me.

It hurts telling this story and it hurts to have to see all of my friends in my hall go to swaps, get ready for chapter and have retreats and get excited for homecoming and getting initiated. But I stand by my decision, even if it hurts me.

I'm so sorry. That just stinks all the way around. :(