Funniest fortune cookie you've ever gotten?
 

I had lunch at a local Chinese restaurant today, and thought of this question...

What's the funniest fortune you've ever gotten in a fortune cookie?

I have two... The first I actually got today at lunch: "Tonight will be a lucky night." Add the "appropriate" words at the end and you'll see why I was ROTFL! ;)

The second is one that my husband got, and kept: "You will be hungry soon. Order takeout now." :D

I opened a fortune cookie and it was defective since it had no fortune in it. I freaked out at first thinking, "Well this is it, I have no future.":( I got over it a few minutes later.

funny you thought of this...
 

...because it just so happens I have saved the last several fortunes I recieved when I ordered Chinese delivery at my dorm last semester. I have them tacked-up on my cork board. None of them are funny, but here goes:

"You will be recognized and honored as a community leader."

"You'll accomplish more if you start now."

"Union gives strength. Work collaboratively."

"Slow and steady wins the race."

"Rome was not built in a day. Be patient."

"Pleasure awaits your company."

It's kind of eerie (in a good way) how they all go together so well as far as predicting success/work-ethic, etc.

1. In New Orleans my then-boyfriend (now hubby) got the following:

"He likes to flirt but with you his intentions are honorable."

2. This one is only funny when the "in bed" is added on the end...

"Success in the end eclipses mistakes along the way."

I forgot the very first (semi) humorous fortune I got:

"You will receive a fortune cookie."

"you need to lose ten pounds"
- needless to say, they didn't get much of a tip

Sorry yall, but I don't remember my fortunes! However does anyone add the silly phrase "in bed" after reading their fortune outloud? We do that all the time and it makes for some funny fortunes!

Hootie:D

My friend got “Even a blind hog can find an acorn in the mud from time to time” or something like that. For quite sometime after that, we always referred to his girlfriend as Acorn.

whats funny is when you add the words "in bed" after each fortune. i know it is perverted, but i can't help it, its funny. most of them seem to go with it and if you have a twisted like me you'll think they're funny!

Re: funny you thought of this...
 

hehehe....

[B]

"You will be recognized and honored as a community leader." IN BED

"You'll accomplish more if you start now." IN BED

"Union gives strength. Work collaboratively." IN BED

"Slow and steady wins the race." IN BED

"Rome was not built in a day. Be patient." IN BED

"Pleasure awaits your company." IN BED (haha this is the best one)

That's funny... I do it all the time too.. And I always save all my fortunes:

The best one: "Every wise man starts out by asking many questions"

Some years ago, my boyfriend was in town visiting. A day or two before he returned home to England, we went out to a Chinese restaurant with my family.

When Neil opened his fortune cookie it said, "Happy events will take place shortly in your living environment." He then starts laughing and jokingly says, "Yeah, I'm going home." Everyone laughed. We went around the table taking turns reading our fortunes. Then, when we got to me, I cracked mine open and burst out laughing.


"Happy events will take place shortly in your living environment."


:D


.....Kelly :)

"Friends will always walk in dust -- You will always ride."

i got that one once.

how funny, so many people use IN BED
i wonder how it was all started...

a couple of visits ago, the three of us that went to lunch together all got the same fortune...but i don't remember what it was

The funniest one my mom got was: "Your family is one of nature's greatest masterpieces."
I don't know if this is really that funny as much as it is weird, but one time I got "Do not intend to hurt others but prepared to get hurt." Gee thanx Empire Szechuan.

My friend told be about that one (in the 6th grade). She got it off a TV show. 90210, I think...

It's not really funny, but happened to me after I read it was pretty funny.

"You are at your best when you have both feet on the ground."

The following day, a guy tried to piggyback me and I slid right over his jacket...head first into the ground. I had a nasty bump on my forehead and the scar is still there.

I miss Chinatown in San Francisco!

I had a fortune cookie tell me that "To be happy you must stop being disdainful." I am admittedly a little on the cynical side,but to have a fortune cookie give me psychological advice is a little disarming.

I just got Chinese take-out the other day, and my fortune cookie said "You and your wife will be happy in your life together." :eek: :confused: I guess that means I'm going to have to get married in Massachusettes.

I didn't get this one but my male friend did.

"Never promise more than you can deliver."



....in bed!!!!!!

I win!!! I once got one that said:

"Help! I'm trapped in a Chinese bakery!"

I saved it, laminated it and tacked it to my message board..

I just hope they were joking.. :rolleyes: :eek:

You're best friend is having sex with your fiancee...add the "in bed" part and its hilarious.

IN BED?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Wow, that's some fun place!!!


I've actually gotten the "that wasn't chicken" one, too. What was worse was that I had ordered Kung Pao Chicken, and the waiter had abbreviated it on the check as "Kung Pooch"!!


When using the "in bed" part, the best one I ever got was, "You are always the life of the party!" :D

I got one last spring that said (no joke):

"Promote Literacy. Buy a Box of Fortune Cookies Today."




LOLOL, I really liked the one that said "Help! I'm trapped in a Chinese bakery!"