Going back to college for another degree and rushing a fraternity, advice?
 

So I am 26 years old and have decided to go back to college for another degree. Needless to say, my undergrad social experience in college was hell. I never knew what a fraternity was and going to an SEC school this severely limited my social life in many many ways. It could have changed my life permanently and for the best if I was in a fraternity but due to many complications I could not rush.

For one I came to the US from another country at the age of 11 and went to an inner city high school, didn't even know what a fraternity or greek life was. Another thing is I had a lot of AP credits entering college so I was able to graduate in 3 years, financially amazing but socially terrible.

I have decided to go back to college for another degree (Arizona St) and was wondering if rushing a fraternity is even possible. As weird as it sounds I have always wanted that experience of being in a fraternity and having a brotherhood since I never really had a chance for that (half of the people from my graduating class in high school are in jail). Money is not a problem for me because I managed to get into a high paying job but I do want the kind of brotherhood that comes with being in a fraternity since in the real world it is impossible to find.

The reason I am going back to college is to get an arts degree because I have always wanted to pursue that field, for some reason it has been my passion but due to career prospects I went the STEM way.

It may be possible as in general, some fraternities may allow bids to be extended to graduates. However, I suspect the majority of chapters (nationally and at Arizona State) are not likely to do so. Also, the majority of most chapters are made up of 18 to 22 year olds, so you being 26 could be an issue with some (perhaps most) chapters. You mentioned you didn’t rush at your first undergraduate college due to “many complications”. I would also venture to guess that you should be prepared to explain what the “complications” were as to why you didn’t rush at your first campus.

If you have any friends that attend or have attended Arizona State, you may want to contact them (or maybe the Arizona State Greek Life office) and ask them about “older students” joining fraternities. If it seems like older students do, then it may not be that much of an issue. But if that seems out of the norm, you are certainly welcome to try, but know that you are not likely to receive a bid.

Best of luck.

Issues or complications were:


- transferred colleges (went the CC route)
- only spent 1.5 years at the 4 year university I was at
- could not rush as a senior due to being busy with applications, internships, and everything else of the sort (time management skills were poor)

Possible? Yes. If you are a full time student seeking an undergrad degree, there shouldn't be anything prohibiting you from rushing.

Likely success? No. Give it a shot if you want, but I'm assuming you will be seen as that weird old guy who keeps coming to our parties. But I could be wrong! Seek it out, but keep up your radar for social cues that they are just being polite and not overly welcoming.

Well if it helps I am in good shape and tend to relate well with guys in their early 20s as opposed to mid 20s guys my age (26).

You really have to quit trying to justify your desire to join a fraternity and maybe read what people here are telling you. IF you have already made up your mind, then there is no point in asking for our opinion.

Social fraternities are primarily younger men, 18-22. You know that. You are significantly older, and hopefully more mature, than that. How are you going to feel taking orders & training (for lack of a better term) from 19-20 year olds? Yes, there will certainly be some members that are older than the norm, but the majority of fraternity members are going to be much younger than you.

Social fraternities also have lots of parties and planned activities with 18-22 yr old college girls. It will be pretty creepy, and even a bit lecherous, for you to socialize with those college girls. Just not a good idea.

Please consider looking for other avenues to bond with a more appropriate group of students when you get to ASU.

I wouldn't have any problems that you listed above, I did my research. My question was not about the morals of the whole thing, just whether it can be done. And no other avenues are just, for a lack of a better word, lame. I prefer to be friends with young guys who know how to party but also have a sense of a brotherhood.

Nothing creepy about a 26 year old guy with a 21 yr old girl, I have met plenty of couples like this.

It's gonna work out great. Go through rush, have an awesome time and let us know which badge you choose for initiation!

Most of the girls that go to fraternity parties, at least in my experience, do so at least in part because they aren't old enough to legally consume alcohol. I would imagine that there will be a whole lot more 18- and 20-year olds than 21-year-olds at these hypothetical fraternity parties you're attending, and I would certainly classify that age difference as creepy.

More important than the age difference, though, is the life experience difference. You, an adult who already has gone through undergrad, would be partying with young girls who have just left home for the first time and are in a completely different place than you are lifewise. If you don't mention your age at parties it might not be a huge issue, but you might find that you don't want to spend a lot of time with girls (and guys) who are still teenagers.

In short, if you want to rush then clearly we can't stop you, and you seem to have made up your mind already. Just don't be surprised if it doesn't end up working out in your favor.

<3

We get that you wouldn't have any problems with any of this. You don't seem to get that members of chapters, whose decision it would be to offer a bid, and members of sororities with which they socialize very well may have a problem with it. They might not, but I certainly wouldn't count on it. That's leaving aside the question of whether, as a grad student, you would be eligible to receive a bid to start with.

And if you think a fraternity-like sense of brotherhood is impossible to find in "the real world," you haven't looked hard enough.

Well I was just asking about whether it is possible as in if it can be done, not about the morals behind it. And yes, it is impossible to find a brotherhood like a college fraternity once you are out of college.

NEWBIE FOR THE WIN!

And honestly, I have had quite a few girls in the teenage category hit on me before. 18 is the legal age and I have known guys in their 30s who have been with 19 year old girls, it happens. My purpose of getting into a fraternity is not about the easy sex which the stereotypes seem to say, that never was. I am one of those guys that loves to party, get wasted, and yes fraternities are full of guys like that because I have talked to and hung out with guys in fraternities before. No other kind of group out there does that other than a fraternity, again, this is what I have learned over the years.

Seems to be female members getting more worked up over this than male members for some reason. But all I wanted to know was whether it can be done, not the morals behind it. But hey, why not try to be my mother?

Well, bless your heart..... you are kind of a pig. Do NOT assume that any of us are trying to be your mother. We do better work than that.

Best of luck at ASU. I only wish we could be there for rush :rolleyes:

Kind of hard to do that when you have written paragraphs telling me the evils of being in a fraternity at 26 when all I asked for was whether it can be done or not.

When a person has to justify that their interest in a particular type of girl is legal or not... I can't even finish the sentence. Yes there is PLENTY of jail bait out there that would hit on a 20 whatever (or 30 or 40) year old guy. The likelihood that an ASU sorority woman would be among that set, sure, it could happen. Even sorority women get depressed and have low self-esteem. So therefore I again say go for it, have a great time and let us know how it turns out for you. And thankfully my sorority isn't represented at ASU so you won't be attempting to deflower any of them. Not that I'm worried about any of my panhellenic sisters.

But tell me about the 19 year old frat guy who wants the 26 year old hotty snapping up all the 19 year old sorority babes at his parties. What's in it for him? Because this is about friendships after all.

Actually, you originally asked if it was possible.

Yes. It is possible. Anything is possible. I don't want to be discouraging to a 65 year old PNM who might be reading GreekChat and think we are all a bunch of mean hostile beyotches.

Who knows? Who can say? I'm not judging, I'm saying that it is possible in the sense that anything is possible. A meteor could fall out of the sky and squish you. That is possible.

Do you think there's a separate quota for 65-year-old PNMs going through sorority recruitment? The AARP quota?

Nobody was talking about the morals of anything. You asked if it is possible. You were told that it may be possible, but that it also may be very unlikely. You were then given reasons why it might be very unlikely.

I am a guy who has been out of college for over 30 years. It is not impossible. At all.

Unless, of course, your idea of brotherhood is simply partying and getting wasted with other guys. If that's the case, I'd say your concept of "brotherhood" is pretty sad. Yes, it's still possible to find, but you do have to look harder because most other guys have grown up.

Sounds like someone has trouble making friends.

But it's not hard for someone to make "friends" with underage college students who want someone to buy them beer. ;)

morals morals and morals again

have there been guys in their mid to late 20s that have done it? because I am starting to see exactly why my thread which is about fraternities has managed to attract quite a number of female users who don't really have my best interest in heart for this given thing.

The fraternities won't be thinking about what is in your best interests, but rather, what is in their respective chapters' best interests. Fraternity members know that the party lifestyle of college is a temporary phase before growing up and embracing the real world. The fact that you are regressing and giving up a high paying job to party with young people makes you a liability to their chapters' reputations. The whole concept is bizarre.

But you're a girl so you don't know anything.

I guess it is safe to assume the OP is talking about a non-NPHC/non-MCGLO/non-LGLO/non-AGLO fraternity. The answer to the question would be different if the OP was talking about NPHC/MCGLO/LGLO/AGLO.

How demeaning to reduce women's responses to "mothering". I guess MysticCat is "fathering" the OP. :)

Every time I see the thread title, I sing "I'm going back to college, college, college...I'm going back to college...I don't think so" a la LL Cool J.

I don't know what it means to you, OP, having your "best interest in heart". Honestly. I don't know.

For future reference, it is very important to be able to see things from others' perspective(s). That's a very useful and important life skill.

What it does appear to me is this: you're not getting told what you want to hear. I said we answered your question - it's possible. Not sure why you are arguing with anyone or scolding us for our responses. I thought my response was very helpful, and seeing as how I live in Arizona, I thought it was fair to warn you about meteors. It could happen to you. Anything is possible.

To the OP: As a fraternity man, I say: Go Rush. I know of a few older guys that have gone through Rush. I do know one got a bid. IF you can handle being call "Blue" as in Blue from the movie Old School have at it.

Here is some free advice - when you ask for advice, don't discount it because it differs from what you want to read.

It has nothing to do with morals. I couldn't care less about your morals. I also don't care if you rush or pledge. I offered no advice and really wasn't even speaking to you. I was poking fun at the concept of old guy pledging a fraternity. Because it's funny. That's why Old School had the old guy Blue as a pledge in the script. Because it's funny.

If you are seeking membership in NPHC/MCGLO/LGLO/AGLO as DrPhil mentioned, then I believe that's a different story and not funny.

You are going back to a school with a very traditional population in terms of age. If you were going someplace with many commuters and returned students, most likely your age wouldn't be a problem at all because there would be others in a similar boat.

It's possible to get a bid as far as the rules are concerned, but know there's a great chance it won't happen.

Come on now, everyone knows what some of the female users were doing was not giving advice. Being 26 and having lots of social experience I know how gender relations work. A lot of these female users were probably in sororities back in their college days and were at their peak. Then graduation came and they had to move on to the real world which can be one cold place. They long for those days when they were in a sorority and at their peak but those days will never come for them because they are long past their prime. As a result of all that they see a guy like me who through very unfortunate circumstances (poverty, strict parenting, etc.) wants to have a chance at being in a fraternity and it destroys them on the inside for someone to try and find happiness in that scene.

I didn't want to go there but I had to, this isn't about giving another perspective a try. This is a thread about fraternities and yes ideally I would like to hear from guys in a fraternity and not females who are likely away from their sorority days.

Nothing is going to stop me from trying, I do know that 26 isn't that old and I have no issues being around 18-22 year old guys because I can relate to them. Most guys my age are settling down and having families, they don't like the idea of drinking and partying. I never had a chance to enjoy that, ever, so that is one of the reasons I want to be in a fraternity along with others such as belonging to a brotherhood of like minded men who just want to enjoy life.

IN b4 female user tries to get the last word and is still in denial about the fact that she is well past her prime.

then why are you even on this thread if you aren't offering advice?

Because the entertainment value is rising and some of us are bored :rolleyes:

QFP... just priceless.

Signed_up_user, most of the alumnae who participate in Greek Chat are involved in supporting collegiate chapters as advisors, during recruitment, etc. They have current knowledge of how things work. Therefore, I would not discount the advice you've been given, even though it some of it may be contrary to what you're hoping to hear.

Greek membership is for life, and alumnae support is crucial in sustaining these organizations and supporting the current collegiate membership.

I'll bite - Do you think that the active members who are 18-22 can relate to you? They will be the one offering you a bid to join. If you come across as a douche canoe in Rush, you will not need to worry about membership.

Do fraternity guys just not get on the fraternity section? I would like to hear directly from them and not sorority girls who are well past their prime and have likely graduated college.

A lot of active fraternity men are misogynists, so it looks like the OP will have that in common with them.

^^Holy hasty generalization, Batman!

Being a misogynist means I think of women as less than men which I really don't. I just believe that in this particular situation the given female users who have been trying to actively stop me from being a part of Greek Life and enjoy some social experiences that way happen to fall into a certain group of females. Just like I feel that there are certain kinds of males who were probably anti-social growing up and made no effort to better their social lives. Instead of trying to do what is best for them they try to sabotage others, I look down on those males but that doesn't mean I hate all males.

Read my statements carefully, I never said I think less of all women or even implied it. I singled out a certain category of women but that is because those female users were actively trying to stop me rather than give me advice.