Will Having a Rush Coach Hurt Me?
 

I've already read through several of the threads here on GreekChat about recruitment coaches and overall you all don't seem to fond of them.

I'm going through recruitment this fall at a private Southern university that I'm told ranks around a 7-ish on the competitiveness scale. Over the weekend my little sister told me that I am getting a sorority rush coach as a high school graduation gift from my grandparents (I'm not supposed to know this yet). I've seen the pros and cons of having a coach. While I have a feeling this is probably going to be school-specific, if a sorority found out that I used a rush coach would it hurt me going through recruitment or later on if I become a member of a sorority?

I don't think it would hurt your chances; I think it's probably just kind of a waste of money. What she CAN help you with is preparing for the types of conversations you will have and give you guidance on how to answer. She can also help you complete your registration form if you haven't already and write your resume. What she CAN'T do is get you the recs that will make a difference - those really need to come from women you know personally for the most impact. She also can't fill your resume with the quality accomplishments needed to make you really sparkle on paper. She can probably help you with clothing choices if she knows your school personally and is current on trends there right now. How they were when her daughter rushed at Bama 10 years ago is worth no more than me telling you for free to dress nice in clothes that fit that you feel comfortable in and that are flattering.

Take the coaching and accept any criticism she gives you, but if she would stray at all into gossip or advice about how to get into a PARTICULAR chapter, run for the hills. The perfect rush is the one that gets you into the perfect chapter FOR YOU, not ABC chapter in particular. Her advice should spend time on how to handle rejection and some tough love about how the process really works.

I will be interested to hear what she has to say.

I agree completely with Dubasis. I've only known one person to hire a rush consultant and while it didn't hurt her chances, she didn't think it was worth the money her mom paid and said the rush coach mostly echoed things she's read online and helped her practice conversations.

But unless you sounded overly practiced and rehearsed or you mentioned it yourself, I doubt the girls rushing you would know you had rush coach.

But who knows, perhaps she could be a great help to you!

WestcoastWonder,
I am going to guess that you are trying to be helpful, but you are NOT Greek, and giving recruitment advice is ill-advised. The OP will think you are Greek by your comments and your signature, and I think you know that. Observing your sister's recruitment does not qualify you to give such advice, and you are dangerously close to being a GLO member/alumna perp. In another thread you even advised a PNM to pm you for specific recruitment advice. Again, I'm assuming you just want to help, but this is very inappropriate in my opinion.

WestcoastWonder,
I am going to guess that you are trying to be helpful, but you are NOT Greek, and giving recruitment advice is ill-advised. The OP will think you are Greek by your comments and your signature, and I think you know that. Observing your sister's recruitment does not qualify you to give such advice, and you are dangerously close to being a GLO member/alumna perp. In another thread you even advised a PNM to pm you for specific recruitment advice. Again, I'm assuming you just want to help, but this is very inappropriate in my opinion.

I don't see how any of the groups would find out unless you told them or you went to a recruitment coach dumb enough to publicize your involvement prior to a bid. Keep your mouth shut about it. Generally good advice throughout the recruitment experience.

I'm not new and I guess I just assumed that WestCoastWonder is a member/alumna of a GLO. Signature and misleading posts by WCW are certainly shady given this new information :-\.

I don't think it would hurt, but I wouldn't advertise it either. And always remember to be true to yourself during rush. Don't take any advice (even if it is well meaning) that has you coming off as fake. If you "play a part" to get into a certain house, then you will be miserable once rush is over. Remember that this isn't just a "they have to love me" thing... it's a "we need to love each other thing." Seems pretty obvious, right? It's not always, when people get too caught up in it. Just be the best you that you can possibly be--by that make sure you are well groomed and put together and that you are open to meeting new people. Don't be afraid to smile. But don't "fake it." By that I mean, if you are someone who usually wears very little make-up, don't suddenly plaster yourself with the stuff.

I guess the point I am trying to make is that you should listen to the rush coach's advice, but remember they aren't the holy grail. If something they say to you makes you feel uncomfortable or is that you shouldn't be true to yourself, then remember it's just one person's opinion. :) Good luck, and I sincerely hope that you will share your rush (damn it, "recruitment") story!

I acted as an unpaid rush coach for a girl from my church who was going to our SEC school. We worked on clothes, makeup, haircut and most important, conversation skills. It worked for her as she got a bid from one of her top choices. I told her to forget about this "be yourself" stuff because she should "sell herself" just like a job interview. I also told her to never mention what we were doing as I thought it might act as a negative.

If that even existed.

I'm not new either and for some reason this slipped by me too. What's up with people who never went Greek coming to a forum specifically for Greeks and those looking to go Greek and handing out advice? Apparently, it's more than one person. It's both WCW and now, as I learned, Low Flat D. Both of these people need to step away from the keyboard and STOP handing out advice! I'm Greek but, did not attend a school in the south for recruitment. Guess what PNMs will not be getting my special recruitment advice? You guessed it, southern Greeks! Now, for those of you who aren't even Greek, please stop!

Best advice given: learn to make sparkling, memorable conversation. That will get you noticed in a good way. Pretty much everything else you can figure out all by yourself. Google "secrets of good conversation" and have fun practicing!

OMG!!!!:eek:
There's a "Sorority Competitiveness Scale" and I didn't even know about it?!?!?
Who's running it? How do they operate? When do they issue judgments? Where's their website?
:eek::eek::eek:
HOW DID I MISS THIS?????
:eek::eek::eek::eek:

(Just humor, folks:p)

QFP

New to me, too, although I was aware the other person was not a member of a social fraternity or sorority.
The whole forum was set up for anyone belonging to any Greek organization, be it NPC, IFC, NPHC, local, honorary, music, business....any kind of Greek organization.
It's just that most of the discussion is NPHC, IFC, and NPC related.
There's still some out there that isn't, and they are active forums.

Edited to add: After reading Pythia's post...........nevermind.

If the rush coach asks you to sign any sort of release form allowing the use of your name or likeness or quoting you in any media, say OH HELLZ TO THE NO. Other than that, you've gotten good advice, but never flat out lie no matter what you're advised. If the coach wants you to present yourself as, say, an athlete when you trip over your own feet, tell her she needs to find another angle.

I would echo the statements of others.... under no circumstance should you tell anyone (even your best friends) that you are using a recruitment coach... that could spread like wildfire.

I've always wondered though, if a recruitment coach is an alumna of an NPC group, I thought that she was bound by unanimous agreements not to speak with PNM during recruitment.... am I wrong? I would just think this would be a major conflict of interest, and really unethical. I guess it would be one thing if she wasn't a member of an NPC group (but what would be the point then?). Anyone have any insight?

PS - IMO, if you want to have a style coach, who doesn't charge a flat fee, I would suggest just going to a nice department store (like Nordstrom or Neiman Marcus) and talk about your needs with their personal shopping department.

There is no such blanket ban, nor would it make sense, given that many of us are children of NPC mothers.

Originally Posted by WestcoastWonder View Post
For the love of all thats holy. YES I AM IN AN NPC CHAPTER. And no, I am not my sister. If my sister knew so much about Greek Life and recruitment, i'm sure she would be in a sorority right now. I wish I would've said this to begin with if I knew you guys were gonna turn this into a witch hunt. It's not that serious.



NOW. MOVE. ON

Sorry to go all Nancy Drew on you, but you are NOT in an NPC chapter. I can look at your posts and know that with 99.99999% certainty.

If you read the UA, you will see that this is not in them. This is covered by each campus's recruitment rules. You'd need a copy of them to determine what the appropriate silent period is.

OK, yep, this makes sense. I remember that the Rho Chis were really strict during pref night up to the day of bid day about contact with members, but I guess it would vary from campus to campus.

And full on grown-ups (clearly not an active or recently graduated alumna) have to function under a different set of rules because real life has a way of rearing its ugly head. A red flag would be member of ABC continually using ABC as a standard of excellence. I would be most happy with a coach being a member of an NPC chapter not represented at your school, but if it's a very big Greek system or she's a member of an especially dominant sorority in the south, this would not be possible. That way there would be no chance of her campaigning on behalf of her own group. But in lieu of that, she should still be working toward your best interests, not that of any particular sorority chapter.

She can be helpful and I don't want the OP to go in paranoid about hidden agendas. Just be aware that all good intentions could be lost on a coach who isn't quite as good as she thinks she is. You can see in all the back and forths that happen on some threads here that different sororities handle membership selection (even down to the importance of recs) very differently. So the "coach" with all the best intentions could give bad advice if she's too focused on trying to back-door you through membership selection, because she only knows her system. I'm all but certain that would all backfire anyway. Good advice would be on conversation skills and a wardrobe check. And maybe application/resume info if it's not too late for that. I would look for her to help you get comfortable with the rush process that can be daunting. And how to answer a series of questions you're sure to get asked and how to handle a question that completely surprises you. Except for the extremes there aren't wrong answers (it is CONVERSATION after all) but there are better choices in how to answer a seemingly innocuous question. And a good coach could role-play you through enough scenarios to get you more comfortable.

I am very involved in the recruitment process at the school I advise at. My daughter had a coach. She was more of a mentor. Never talked specifically about any chapter in general and neither did I. We all felt we knew where she would end up and she did. It was a lot of general good manner type information, what to expect and how to sort out who your going to rank and are interested in and who your not. It went on through the recruitment process and in the end my dd had a very good recruitment and preffed her 1st and 5 choice.

I think a good recruitment coach is worth their weight in gold. A lot of girls make loads of mistakes through the process and get released for them.

I would be gracious of the gift go prepared with lots of questions you can ask and hopefully it will prepare you for the best recruitment possible. Good Luck.

I served as a recruitment coach to my goddaughter, and she, and her mom, found it very helpful. Lots of conversation practice and tips, keep your options open, what to include/omit from resume, how to deal with rejection, stress, emergency essentials, digging for recs, etc. If someone is not involved as an advisor, or doesn't read a site such as this regularly, current recruitment can be daunting. I echo the cautions mentioned above. If it's about getting into Alpha Alpha TopTier, or generic recs, or becoming someone you aren't, run.