Please help!
 

I want to start this by saying that I realize that there are already similar threads, but I want ed to ask about my particular situation.

I am a freshman at UTSA and will be transferring to UT Austin in the fall. I have no family or friends who are or were in sororities and they don't really support my desire to be in one:(. I am really struggling to find recommendations, which I know is important at my school. I have already registered with the Panhellenic Association here, but they have not responded to me at all. I've ask friends, family, family member's friends, co-workers, etc. and got 1 definite & some possibilities, but not nearly enough. I don't know where else to look, so I figured some of y'all may have ideas or know specific organizations in my area that could help me.

Thanks!:)

Your situation is not unique. Do a search about recs. Use Google and include Greekchat in the search; it usually yields more results.

But basically... ask EVERYONE, men included. They might have friends or relatives who are Greek.

::waiting for someone to find and post the all-things-rec thread::

I hate to say this but your situation isn't all that unique. Again, I would advise you to look through the threads as there has been plenty of tips on how to get recs that have been given time and time again.

The best thing I can tell you is just ask around, people you work with, high school teachers, people at church etc. If you've registered with the Alumnae Panhellenic, depending on how long its been since your initial contact then its totally appropriate to follow up and ask them if there is any information they need from you. If you contacted them last week I would give it a bit of time. Also on other big tip, keep your options open to all of the sororities at UT.

Best of luck!

I know I am far from unique, lol :) I have looked through several threads similar to mine. When I said I wanted to ask about my particular situation, that was directed at the part about "knowing specific organizations in my area that could help me." I've seen posts that go as far as approaching people at the grocery store, but I find that really weird and would even know what to say.

So - tell me, what do you think you could do? Where else could you search for recommendations? Maybe there AREN'T any organizations in your area (San Antonio?), and so what else would you think to do? You didn't mention asking any of your high school teachers, or your current college professors.

We give suggestions; however, you need to put some thought into this and figure out how to be creative and get what you need. Or you can go to recruitment with no recommendations. The choice is yours.

Somehow I get the impression from PNMs on GC that they visualize area Panhellenics members as sitting around waiting for PNMs to ask for recs.

The good news is that you are starting this now and have time... rather than it being the week before recruitment!

Talk to every person you know: man or woman. Every teacher you've ever had (so many teachers are Greeks!). Talk to your friends already in college. Talk to every relative. Ask your parents to ask around with their friends and their friends' kids. Post on Facebook. Etc. Someone will know someone.

You can also go on Facebook and look at the sorority FB pages to see if anyone you are friends with has "liked" that page-- chances are they are a member or know someone who is.

If the alumnae panhellenic in your area isn't getting back to you, contact them again. Contact the individual sorority alumnae associations in your hometown as well to ask for assistance in securing recs. If they aren't getting back to you either, contact the alumnae panhellenics and individual sorority alumnae associations in the next town over and so on until someone responds. You can register with multiple alumnae panhellenic associations-- try Houston, for example.

Whenever someone commits to writing a rec, thank them and ask them if they have any referrals for the other sororities you need. Chances are they do or can make inquiries.

Keep asking around. Does UTSA have sororities? Do you know anyone in the sororities there? Ask for their help, as well.

Go back to your one definite and ask if she knows anyone else who can assist you. Follow up with your "possibilities" to make them definites and ask them if they know anyone else who can assist you.

NO, none of us would recommend approaching perfect strangers at the grocery store.

You are a current student at UTSA. Do you mean to tell us that you don't know a SINGLE sorority girl on campus now? Surely not, my dear.

Some sororities, NOT ALL, will allow a current member to write a recommendation for a PNM at a DIFFERENT chapter. And maybe those sorority girls at UTSA can put you in touch with alumnae who wrote THEIR recs for other organizations, too. Sorority girls know other sorority girls & alumnae!

If it is worth it to you, get your courage up and get to work!

AZTheta- I would not have come here, if I hadn't done everything that I knew to do. None of my teachers (past or present) were in sororities, I asked. Family friends, doctors, grandparents coworkers, Alumnae groups on facebook & in person, friend's parents, boss, etc. I have been down every path that I can think of. I have gotten a few, but not nearly enough. And for your comment about think alumnae wait around for me, that is the furthest thing from the truth. I realize how much work they put into it and am always grateful. I provide them with everything that they need (resume, transcript, pictures, etc.) and send thank you notes to each one.

I realize that many people on GC are fed up with pnm's who don't want to put in the effort, but don't assume that all off us are that way.

JINX!!!! Buy me a Coke!!

Haha, I thought that seemed a little ridiculous!

Have I seen them around or have classes with them, yes. Do I know any personally, no.

Then GET YOUR A$$ IN GEAR!!! Time to start chatting them up about how excited you are about transferring & rushing. Ask them about what they love most about being in a sorority. How have they juggled sorority activities & class commitments. People love to talk about themselves & things that are important to them. If you see a sorority girl that you are in a class with, offer to buy frozen yogurt or coffee, if she has a few minutes to talk.

Your time is short. No time to be shy.

Wait…what? You've already gotten recs? I'm confused now.

ETA: oh yes, a few.

And please don't misquote me. I said PNMs, not YOU in particular. And I'm not fed up. Read what I wrote.

AZTheta- Firstly, I apologize for misquoting you, I assumed that it was directed at me personally. Secondly, yes, I have one woman who said she will definitely write one, and a couple who I'm not 100% sure about.

My understanding is that she has some recs, but not many.

OP, Texas of all places has strong Panhellenic alumnae associations that put on recruitment sessions and help connect PNMs and rec writers. Read the UT recruitment threads. I would be gobsmacked if SA doesn"t have a very active Panhellenic alumnae group.

I have personally received requests for letters of recommendation funneled down to me through my alumnae chapter. You might want to look to see what alumna chapter groups are in the area of UT or the school you are at now and see if one of them will write a letter.

Some of the members may ask to speak to you personally (phone or in person) and I suspect all will ask for information from you about why you want to join a sorority and why they should recommend you for joining their sorority.

Texas is COMPETITIVE and chances of getting into any sorority without a letter of rec I'd say is slim to none.

GCers - do you think this PNM should contact the different Alumnae Panhellenics for each GLO? I am thinking that there is a San Antonio Theta Alumnae group, for example. I'm asking b/c I don't know Texas protocol. And this might be a horrible idea. I know that if a PNM contacted the Phoenix or Tucson Theta alum groups, she'd likely get a response from them.

This is contrasted with the Tucson Alumnae Panhellenic, which has members from almost all 26 NPCs. And a PNM might wait a while before hearing back.

Am I making sense? I don't know that LadyLonghorn is still around, and I forget who else is UT - pinapple?

First hit on Google:

http://www.sapanhellenic.org/index.php?page=recruitment

There is nothing there that says you should expect a response. Did you go to the events?

When I was a member of the Houston AP, we recommended contacting sorority alumnae and the individual alumnae associations.

The Texas AP's want you to register with them so they can keep tabs on who is going where and to help where they can. They aren't a rec-writing service and they encourage you to get as many personal recs as you can and have those personal recs sent to the rec chair of that particular individual sorority area alumnae association, who puts them together in a packet and mails them all out to the chapter. (But that isn't required-- you can get recs from any alumnae of that sorority and the alumnae can send them to the chapter on their own.)

So yes, she can contact the various sorority Alumnae Associations in San Antonio and ask for their help to meet an alumna of their organization concerning references and info-recs, and ask them to introduce her to other sororities and their alumnae, which they will happily do.

Basically, as with anything else in life, you can't expect the mountain to come to you-- you have to go to the mountain. OP has made a great start and just needs to keep following up and reaching out to people.

Low D Flat- yes I went to the event and they said to expect a response within 5 days. I know that they are busy, so I am fine with waiting a little while, I just want to use as many options as there are available to me.

Make a list of the groups at UT. Go to each group's national web site. Locate the section with the list of their alumnae groups. Go to Texas and then look for the one in SA. Contact them. They will find someone who knows you.

In addition to Titchou's great advice, have you had a heart to heart talk with the person who is going to write a rec. to her sorority? Let her know how much you appreciate her helping you out, and how much you are looking forward to meeting her chapter at UT-Austin. If she does not offer to pass on your info. to ladies she knows who are members of other sororities, tell her how difficult a time you are having locating a member of ABC, DEF, GH, IJK, etc. who would write a rec. for you. I don't think she would be offended. Just be clear that you need and would appreciate her help in connecting you with any alumnae of other sororities that she might know.

Whenever a PNM asks me to write a rec. for her, I always ask her if she has a rec. to all the other sororities on her campus. If she answers "no", I offer to pass on her information to alumnae I know who are members of those sororities. Most of us want to help, so that not having a rec. is not what keeps a PNM from receiving a bid. we do not take it personally if a PNM we helped joins a sorority other than our own.

Just googled to find the same thing, and found that LowD had beaten me to it. ;)

An exact quote from the website: "If five days have passed and you have NOT received an acknowledgement email, please contact sapanhellenic@hotmail.com to ensure that your files were received."

It is good practice to register with the local alumnae panhellenic, but you should consider it a last resort for recommendations. The APH forwards your information to the sorority alumnae and they can write a recommendation for you, but how good can a recommendation be if the writer has never met the person she is recommending? I have written recs for girls who I don't know, but there is a limit to how helpful the information I can provide is because I simply do not know the person. The point is not just to get recommendations, but to get GOOD recommendations.

As someone else suggested, you need to contact the local alumnae chapters in your area (so the San Antonio Kappa Delta alumnae chapter, Chi Omega alumnae chapter, etc.). Tell them that you are planning to go through recruitment and you are looking for someone who can provide a recommendation. Offer to meet them for coffee so they can meet you in person so they can write you a stronger recommendation.

BTW, it is probably the general practice that you hear back from the local APH within five days, but most of the women involved are very busy and life happens. People get sick, have to work late, go on spring break, etc. Those things happen.

Thanks, I went to every local alumnae chapter for UT sororities in my area last night after the first comment suggesting that. I emailed each one that I could find, but as it hasn't even been a day, I of course haven't heard back from any.

I completely understand about having to wait longer than five days and have no problem with that.

One thing I will say: you're doing a great job of following up on our suggestions. From the responses following my suggestion that you contact the individual alumnae chapters, I'm thinking that's definitely a good plan. Keep at it.

Note to self: tell every PNM to contact individual alumnae chapters when searching for recommendation sources. They likely aren't aware of the existence of same.

Thanks:) Like I said, not having anyone in my family to help me, I knew I would have to put in a lot of work and really research (I have spent countless hours looking at UT hreads, emailing possible rec writers, looking through all the UT chapter websites, etc.) So if any helpful advice comes my way, I will definitely use it!

But I would really try to use the sorority women at your current school for information and support. Beyond getting you help with recs they might be open to explaining the process and get you ready for the conversations you'll be having.

Great. I didn't understand from your previous post that you had contacted them. I would expect that you will get some responses. I concur that you should try to get to know the sorority women on your campus (in a non-creepy way, just friendly and wanting to know more about sorority life, and btw, how did they find recommendations?). They all have advisors, who could potentially serve as a rec. writer for you (I wouldn't suggest that you ask them for that, but know that it is a possibility if they get to know you and like you--they might offer it up.)

I commend you on your diligence in beating the bushes, early! I realize that it can be challenging to find the contacts that you need, but it sounds like you are going about it in a methodical way, so I have no doubt that you will find them.

Keep us posted, and good luck!

The only thing about finding sorority girls at my school is that UTSA and UT only have one sorority in common (ZTA). However, if I can find any ZTA's in my classes I will definitely talk to them!

Also, do you have a recruitment resume yet?
Here's an example:
http://www.austinpanhellenic.org/joi...ty-resume.html
Create one & give/email it to alumnae who can write you a rec.
Also, check the Ole Miss recruitment thread -- there are some great tips on finding recs.

If you are contacting the individual alumnae associations, many will have websites. CALL the local contact person - that group may have an alumna who goes to your church, knows 1 of your high school teachers or college professors, has a connection to your parent - and can write you a personnel recommendation.

Post that you are going thru Recruitment at UT on Facebook and looking for alumnae recommendations. List every GLO (Greek letter organization). From 6 degrees of separation, you'll be able to find sorority alumnae!

When I lived a few miles from UTSA campus, I was a member of the San Antonio alumnae group.

Many of the women in that group are UT alumnae, and they're always welcome to meeting women who are interested in sorority life. Check similar pages for the other groups; you may know some of the women who are members.

Many of the women participate in the San Antonio Panhellenic information event, too. It's been years, my daughter wasn't interested, and I never learned about competitive rushes, so I didn't pay much attention, but I know that events are held there in the Spring.

ChioLu- Yes ma'am I have! I have rec packets w/ my resume, transcripts, and picture all ready to go :)

Also, could y'all help with my questions on this thread:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=140075

I am a total novice, but I'll tell you how my daughter and I have been going at this, and maybe something will help.

Do you have high school friends in sororities that are on facebook? My d messaged some girls she knew in hs that are a few years older who she could tell were in sororities and asked them if they knew any alums who could help her. She also asked them if they had any local people write them.

How about posting on facebook that you want to go through recruitment could anyone help finding people in the following sororities: xyz, abc, etc.

Do you have any friends who work at: Lily, JCrew, Anthropologie - or any kind of boutique store where other sorority girls shop? My sis works at a Lily store and would ask regular women shoppers if they were in sororities and chatted them up about rec's and we got an offer that way.

Do you have aunts, cousins, etc who would help you find people? Friends of theirs or coworkers, neighbors, etc.

You know how people will greet you - hello, how are you? Bring it up! Bring it up to everyone. Be the person everyone knows is looking for recs.

It came to the point where we would be asking every single person if they were or knew anyone in a sorority. We'd ask the grocery store cashier, the dry cleaners, people standing in line around us. Now is not the time to hide your light under a bushel.

Up north the rec thing is virtually unknown so we've been educating them on it. At least in TX people will get it.

And finally, anytime anyone was willing to write a rec they were asked if they knew of anyone else that could help.

It has just about become a group effort amongst friends and family. And it actually has made it kind of fun! Everyone would cheer and get excited and get competitive about finding help.

We're hunting our final sorority and if we can't find someone in it my d will be emailing their national headquarters by mid-April to see if they could put her in touch with someone in our area.

Thetalady- See I'm getting two different opinions on the whole asking strangers for recs thing!

You aren't up north like she is. You should be able to ride down the road in San Antonio and hit a member of every group at UT. There are only 14 on campus. That isn't that many. Keep knocking it out and be sure to ask each person who can do a rec if they know anyone in the other groups. Have you done that?

Not everyone is a stranger to us delaryn - I consider it more like 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon. ;)

Okay, so there is a difference, too, between ASKING a stranger, and having a friendly conversation with a stranger in which you mention recruitment.

If I was shopping and chatting with a sales associate and she asked me for a rec, I'd be like WTF, but if she mentioned recruitment, I might be like "oh, do you have a rec for my group? Maybe I can help you find one."

Okay, I get it! Thanks everyone, y'all are being so helpful!