COB
 

So, I put in my application for COB in January and found out that a sorority was colonizing at my university. I signed up for their recruitment, super excited about being in a colony but then, two days before Orientation, they cancelled, saying they wanted to get more recognition on campus before doing any type of recruitment.

Obviously, I was super bummed and didn't think I was going to be contacted from any other sororities because my Greek Affairs office told me that no other sororities were going to be participating. Then last night I got a text from the recruitment chair of XYZ inviting me to a V-Day Crafting get together! I was so happy but now I have no idea what to do. I have some of the XYZ sisters in one of my classes tonight so I'm going to talk to her before the event tomorrow.

Anyone have any tips for me?! I could really use some advice!

1) Accept the invitation.

2) Make sure that when you talk to your classmate, you tell her that you were super happy to get the invitation.

3) Ask your classmate what to wear. Dress slightly nicer than what she tells you to wear.

4) Search around here for information on open recruitment and read those threads.

5) If you get a bid, accept it. Don't wait on a colony that may or may not happen.

Awesome, thanks for the advice, KDCat!

Conversations matter a lot during open recruitment. These two threads are about formal recruitment, but it have good tips. Open recruitment is more relaxed, though.

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=99720

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=30758

One thing I'd point out here: If you get a bid AND you feel comfortable with the group, accept it. You may go to XYZ's recruitment events and feel that the fit just isn't there.

But on the other hand, if you like them but wonder if going through formal rush would open more doors for you, take the offer in front of you. I would only decline it if you really think you would be unhappy there. Turning down a bid in favor of the unknown is best only if you would prefer not to be Greek than be Greek with that group of women.

Triple Amen!

Thanks for all the advice. I went to the event on Thursday and had a really good time, all the girls were great. Sometimes I felt a bit alienated because they were talking about what boys they were bringing to their date party and I didn't know the guys. I did ask about the date party and the theme but they kept bringing up the guys. Definitely tried to keep up with the conversation and ask questions.

Once I was ready to leave, I went to say goodbye to the recruitment chair and she said she wanted to invite me to their event on Sunday (tomorrow) and would text me the details. So, I waited until today and there was still no information so I texted her, asking her for the details so I cold come. It's been 7 hours with no reply so, I'm guessing that I'm no longer invited? Just wish there could have been a reply back or no invite to the event at all.

There are five other sororities in COB so, I guess I can hope to get another invite or wait until fall recruitment.

Now I'm curious, should I reach out to any of the other houses participating in COB?

How do you know they're participating? If there are flyers advertising events, then go.

For the chapter you attended already, do you know anyone else that may be able to give you details for tomorrow?

I was sent an email from the Greek Affairs office giving a list of all the sororities that are participating in COB this semester but there are no flyers. I'm pretty sure that everything is invite only but I wasn't sure if emailing them or something would be a good idea to grab their attention.

I have two classmates that are in the chapter that I visited but I won't see them until Monday. The only contact I have is the recruitment chair who didn't text me back.

A lot of times sororities that are listed as participating in COB actually only have 2 or 3 spots, which they fill with people they already know. But I would suggest that you e-mail them saying, "Hello, the Greek Life office told me that Alpha Alpha Alpha sorority is participating in Continuous Open Bidding. I just want you to know that I am looking for a sorority home and would love an opportunity to meet the sisters of AAA. My contact info is..."

If they don't reply, you'll have to let it go. You gave it a shot.

As to the text that wasn't answered, can you call this person? Since she gave you a verbal invitation, I would think they do want you to come. There are all kinds of texts and e-mails aren't received.

I am afraid that I don't really see this as a firm invitation. If she said exactly what you wrote, I ca see this as just kind of being polite. She may have been shot down by other chapter members when it came to actually issuing the formal invitations to the next party. It certainly would have been courteous for her to reply to your text, letting you know what your status is currently. Sometimes people have a really hard time delivering bad news.

I definitely agree that if other chapters are doing COB, send them a nice email to see if there is any opportunity with those chapters. Good luck.

I went ahead and emailed the 5 other chapters participating in COB and already got another invite to an open house! The original sorority I went to was having invite only sisterhood events, then interviews to extend bids. I believe the sorority I was invited to tonight is having a more structured recruitment that will go throughout the week though it is still invite only. Hoping that this one goes a bit better than the last!

Once again, thanks for the advice everyone! I'm really glad I emailed the sororities about my interest in COB. :]

Good luck to you!

Good luck, Paige93!

You're doing a good job by keeping your head up and moving on.

You are getting great advice, and you have a positive attitude. Wishing you the best!

I have to say through reading this post, your maturity and grace in handling this process is to be commended! You certainly are setting a great example for others. I wish you the best in this journey.

So, went to the open house tonight for my second sorority, let's call this house ABC. My mom always tells me that things happen for a reason and I definitely believe in that because tonight, I had such a great time! There must have been a reason that XYZ didn't give me a bid because I'm so happy I got to meet the sisters at ABC. I felt like I had known them forever and it was awesome.

I got invited for coffee tomorrow, I spoke to a friend and she thinks it will probably be an interview. Keeping my fingers crossed that it goes well!

This probably goes without saying, but make sure tomorrow isn't a sweatshirt and jeans kind of day. Look presentable, wear nice pants and a cute shirt/sweater, and cute shoes. Don't look extremely overdressed for class (as I imagine you'll be headed to some tomorrow), but don't look like you rolled out of bed and threw on the first thing you found.

Good luck!

Your attitude is commendable!

Have fun (it may sound like an interview but think of it as a coffee date -- an opportunity to chat with new friends outside of a party atmosphere). Best of luck to you!

Tonight I went to ABC's coffee night (it got postponed because of some mix ups with the sisters) and I had just as good a time as I did on Monday. I talked to a bunch of sisters, they were rotating out the girls every so often so I could meet more girls. I got along with a lot of them but tonight they did ask some more meaningful questions such as "why do you want to be in a sorority?" and "what do you think you can get out of being in our sisterhood?" I was pretty prepared for these questions after reading some other Greek Chat threads. After about an hour and a half the two recruitment chairs told me thanks for coming and that they would be in contact within the next 24 hours. Before I left one of the senior girls grabbed me because apparently she's in my major and she is the head of one of the clubs I'm in! She was really nice and was telling me about all my junior year was going to entail. She even told me she would put a good word in for me with the recruitment chairs! :]

Before I left I saw the two recruitment heads talking to the table I had been sitting at so I think they were trying to get the rundown on what everyone thought of me.

Trying not to get my hopes up too much. I was invited to another coffee get together for next week by another sorority and I accepted. Trying not to put all my eggs in one basket and trying to keep an open mind.

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed that I get some feedback soon!

Good luck! Sounds like things went really well. Fingers crossed for you!

This inadvertently turned into a recruitment story thread and I'm here for it.

Rooting for OP and ABC!

I'm glad to hear you're not putting your eggs in one basket. Hopefully this one will work but it's good to be open-minded and aware there could be an alternative ending. Good luck! It sounds like this group is great at COB and you are a well-prepared rushee.

I am so excited to hear the results of this story!

So am I! OP, I am glad you had so much fun. I very much like that you have had a fantastic attitude. My sense is that by reading and preparing yourself, you can focus on having a good time and shining instead of wondering what is going on. My best wishes to you !!

So, it's officially been past 24 hours and I didn't get anything from ABC. I've really been trying to have a positive attitude but after being shot down twice, I do feel a bit bummed tonight. I really loved ABC and thought it all went so well. I keep going over Monday and Thursday and can't think of what went wrong.

I have a week before my next COB event with another sorority so, guess I'll just have to take my chances there.

Thanks for all of the support, it has really helped me with this process.

Please don't worry too much about it. COB events are often very, very loose and unscripted. Things change at the last minute or get postponed.

What AnchorAlumna said.

Don't panic! It's only been 24 hours. Do you talk to each one of your friends every single day? Probably not. A day is not a long enough amount of time to think that the chapter has forgotten all about you.

Maybe they were meeting with other PNMs tonight. Maybe they had a sisterhood night and decided to not think about recruitment for 48 hours. Maybe they don't plan to have any further COB events and they held membership selection meetings tonight, and they're distributing bids this weekend. And hey, it's Friday… maybe they all just did their own thing, went out to parties/bars, studied, or did whatever college students usually do on a Friday night.

I know you're freaking out because you've been turned down a couple times, but don't assume that the worst has occurred because of what's happened in the past. Keep your chin up and think positive!

Even if they said "we will contact you within the next 24 hours"?
I wouldn't have expected anything yesterday if they hadn't have said that.

There could be a myriad of reasons they haven't contacted you yet, from the very worst, that they decided to not offer you a bid at this time, to wanting you to meet some more sisters at another event, or wanting to offer you a bid, but waiting until the chapter meets some more PNMs and votes on them, because they want to hold one formal pledging ceremony. It could also be that they are not doing anything over the weekend, and you will hear from them on Monday.

This is why it is always good for the sisters to try to remember not to say things such as "we will contact you within the next 24 hours." Better to just thank the PNM for coming by and telling her how nice it was to meet her/see her again.

Hang in there. When you posted about the coffee party, you noted that due to some chapter logistical issues, it was moved to a different night. Add chapter logistics to possible reasons -- ASTalumna and FSUZeta offer some legitimate ideas, so add logistics to it.

And I don't think college has changed so much from when I was there to think anyone would be doing anything else on a Saturday night other than going out. It seems like such a long wait, but Monday is the earliest you are likely to hear. Can you do something tomorrow for diversion such meet friends for a movie?

I have no problem waiting, I was just upset because I thought that of I didn't hear anything in the 24 hours, that meant it was pretty much over with that sorority. It's nice to know that there is still some hope for it.

Put this in your memory banks for your own future and making promises to people about when you will do something, especially when it's really important to them. A simple update saying the situation isn't resolved yet would go a long way. I can't make the chapter do that for you, but I can remind you to not be that girl when you're the one with the power.

Hey, just wanted to give a little update on what's going on recently. I didn't get any sort of feed back from ABC so, I'm letting that go. I am still relatively bummed about not getting a bid from them. But, as DubaiSis said, I will keep this as a memory for later on, I would much rather hear something bad than hear nothing at all in this instance.

Tonight I met....The Office at Starbucks for sort of an interview. There were seven girls talking to me. I liked them and they invited me to their house next Thursday for an ice cream social. I then went to Parks & Recreation for bingo night. I was there for 2 and a half hours, way longer than any other houses. I loved their house, it was so pretty and had cool things, like a jukebox! They also gave us gift bags for us which was nice, they were the only house to do this. Before I left, the girl who had greeted me and spent the whole night with me asked me for my number so I suppose that was a good indication on if they liked me or not.

I was invited to SNL to come to their house for a "meet and greet" on Tuesday so, I'm trying to keep positive since I still have plenty of options and chances!

Glad to hear you still are keeping your mind open and have so many options!

Paige93 -
I am rooting for you! I'm really hoping you receive a bid - from your posts every sorority would be lucky to have you! But no matter what happens - your mature attitude and resilience is going to serve you well in life. Keep us posted!

Rooting for you too, Paige! I am happy that there are more options for you. ABC needs to polish its etiquette skills a bit. They may genuinely like you but have only 1 spot, but they still need to work on proper post-event communications.

Paige:
Sending good wishes and lots of positive energy your way!