Frustrated by boys
 

Okay, guys(and girls), I have a question. When a guy says he will call you "later in the week" to make plans for a date, what day exactly does that mean??? I was told on SUNDAY that he would call me "later in the week" and its FRIDAY and no call. I am assuming that means I have no date this weekend. Anyone else have any ideas??

Well, when guys say that to me, I usually get a call at 530pm on Friday, saying so wanna come over and order a pizza at 8.

Guys-- PLEASE call by Wednesday, Thursday morning at the latest if you want to see us. "Cause we'll make alternate plans by then if we don't hear from you.

That could mean that he is nervous of calling such a great girl! Or that he is ADHD like me and forgets in his case to call for a date, or in my case loose by ENTIRE back pack in the laundry basket. If you like him and he might fall into the "this is as far as any relationship has ever gone...THIS IS AS FAR AS ANY RELTIONSHIP HAS EVER GONE...oh sh*& now what do I do?" type catergory, you might have to call him. Hope that helped some.

When he says he is going to call you later, which we almost never do, say, "lets set it up now, 8pm next Friday?"

See no more guess work . . . wow you think this stuff is hard:)

Hmm, see when I'm REALLY into someone and he says I'll call you later-- I say, how about Friday, 8pm, I'll cook...

When he's really into me he says... What are you doing next weekend, let's do something Saturday...

When I'm ambivalent and he says "I'll call you later..." I'm "OK" ANd usually could care less.

Its when I know he's into me and is LAZY that it bugs me, and signals the end for them.

Ah, the games we play...

seems like it's somewhere along the lines of 'check's in the mail'. I think he just weasled out but didn't have the gonads to do it anyother way - sorry. But if he's serious and just lazy then that's his loss for being an idiot, you shouldn't be left in limbo like that. Maybe a few other details can help us out a bit?

Okay, more details--
I met this guy when I was out 2 weeks ago. He had dated my friend Chrissie a LONG time ago, when they both first moved to ATL(actually, he took her on one date and they just didn't click). Anyways--I saw him from across the bar and told Chrissie I thought he was cute and she was like "I know that guy--thats Tim--I went out with him once". So, he see's us looking at him and smiles and waves at her, so we go over and start talking. I get introduced and we proceed to have a great conversation. He buys me a beer and we keep talking. Finally, my friends want to go to another bar, so as I am leaving, he asks for my number and I give it to him. And then I left--this was on a Saturday.
The FOLLOWING FRIDAY, he calls and leaves a message on my machine to see where I am headed to that night. I call him back and leave him a message where I will be. He calls me on my cell around 11 and says he is at a bar on the other side of town, but he wanted to see me, so he will give me a call tommrow. He calls SATURDAY(the next day), we talk for awhile, and he asks me what I am up to that night. I had already made plans with some friends, so I tell him that. He then says "well, can I give you a call LATER IN THE WEEK and maybe we can go out?" I say yes and he says okay. That was Saturday. And now its Friday. I guess if this guy is following a pattern, he will call tonight, but who knows. Does that give you more background??

Call him.

I think that dude needs to get a clue and call you earlier than the day he wants to see you. He doesn't know you well enough to be calling your cell at 11 pm when you're out somewhere.

If I were in your place -- if he calls tonight to see what you're doing tonight -- I would tell him that I already have plans (assuming you do) and that, if he wants to meet up sometime to call a few days ahead of time and we could actually go on a date. OR, I would get his number and then call him a few days ahead of time to make a date for the next weekend -- why not take control of the situation, you know? Maybe it's just me and I'm getting old, but I wouldn't be havin' this callin' me up at the last minute stuff. If you like him, I think it's worth it to try to go out on an actual date, rather than cell phone tag and possibly meeting up somewhere.

Good luck!

Do you have his number? Could be a case of missed-opportunites, I don't put too much blame on him because he called two days in a row which means he's obviously still thinking about you.

I have no idea what the deal is with guys. If you go out with us...or well, if you go out with me...and you say you will call, CALL. I mean damn, like I have said in another similar post, I would love love love a guy to call me the next day. If you wait more than 24 hours, believe me...I have already described every word and movement we made all evening to anyone who will listen...I have analyzed and over analyzed...and wonder...will he call? I would rather a guy either not ask for my number or just be honest and say "You know, I dont think I wanna call you again" then tell me they will and never do.
So guys..please call...SOON lol :)

Ok... I got this from my husband not too long ago....

For what ever reason, we were talking about what it means when a guy says he'll call you. This is what hubby had to say on the subject...

Can I call you? = I want to see you. Number please?

I'll call you later. = You will get a call at some point, but I'm not
sure when.

I'll call you. = Don't hold your breath.

I don't know if this covers what the average male is thinking, but that is the rationalization of at least one man.

Sahara, my Southern Belle, you are right on!:)

Being a Southern Genteel Man, If I said I would call someone I would do it! Since one of my relatives is buried in TENN. I have a close affiliation there! Andrew Johnson! :)

God I would Love to meet You and say YO!

I know I dont spell it right, but I thought it was neat that you said what you said!!!!

Hang in there Kiddo and your dream will come True! I for one am rooting for you big time!!!!!:)

LOL, I have a shoe box full of scraps of paper with girls numbers on them . . . That I have never called.

I'll have to think of why I don't call them and get back to you.

But the worst thing, is when you find a number with no name attached and you cannot for the life of you place the number with a person.

I feel like ringing and saying: Hi! Oh good your a girl, did we have sex or did I order food from you or something . . . sometime . . . because I have this number on a crumpled up bar napkin in lipstick. Oh, you don't remember either? Well what do you look like, are you conventionally pretty . . .?

LOL, so girls really expect you to call when we get their digits? That nust be why they act strange when you see them out again.

Yes James, we do expect you to call. I, too, have a pile of phone numbers that I have been collecting over the last year and a half. I have no idea what to do with them. P.S. I've been told that I am more than conventionally pretty. ;)
BTW, what happened? Did he ever call?

Alas, he did NOT call, so we are chalking it up to STUPID BOY SYNDROME and moving on. But guys, I am just letting you know--if you are having some serious thoughts about whether or not you like this girl or want to see her again, DON'T EVEN CALL HER IN THE FIRST PLACE. Or if you do and you realize its not meant to be, just get off the phone as soon as possible. Don't ask her what she is doing next weekend! In a girls mind, that means a future(I am not meaning like marriage--just more than a slight chance of a second meeting!). I agree with VolGirl--we do anylize EVERYTHING, but even more so when they do actually call. But anyways, I had a great weekend in spite of that, so all is well! Thanks for listening

Yes, SBS (Stupid Boy Syndrome) is to blame. I overanalyze EVERYTHING. I guess you can chalk this one up to the not meant to be pile. Just like a bus though, another one will be along soon. Then you can tell us how he calls and gives you compliments and gifts :)

.

I think you should call him. Guys analyze things also. He called you last minute but he did call you twice and you were busy both times, so he is probalby thinking you are not interested. When he called you the second time, I think you should have set a date right then. He definitely liked you or he wouldnt have called in the first place.

You all keep the scraps of paper that has phone numbers on it too??? I thought I was the only one! :D
I keep them in a shoe box. I call it "My Ego Booster Shoe Box". ;)

Good Point.

if you are interested in him, why not give him a call and act like nothing's amiss and see what happens...

I am a big fan of taking things into my own hands.

I have a question. Guys, WHY get a phone number if you don't intend to call, and why say that you'll call if you're not actually going to call?

I agree call him :)

Sooo many girls, sooo many numbers, what's a guy to do?

Some guys are always looking for something better to come along, so they collect these "numbers" just in case nothing better DOES come along.

I have to go along with deltaphi94 Can I call you? = I want to see you. Number please?

I'll call you later. = You will get a call at some point, but I'm not
sure when.

I'll call you. = Don't hold your breath. ber please?

They want to seem like good guys and be polite when it would be much nicer if they said "Nice meeting you, hope to see you around." Sometimes I think they feel they HAVE to ask for the number. One, to appear to be a nice guy or two, so they can tell their buds-"Hey I got her number."

Have to say it was my rule NEVER to give out my number. I wrote my name on the paper and directed them to whatever directory I
happened to be in at the time. That way if they called, I knew they were interested because it involved a little work.

I think justamom and I are on the same wavelength here. It seems to me, and this is just my opinion, that guys collect numbers to impress their buddies. Status is everything.... until life wakes you up.

Well a lot of times we get numbers at events involving alcohol, the world looks different when sober sometimes. I am not sure saving numbers is a status thing, I do it because I tend to be a packrat. And, I certainly save them pretty randomly.

But as for the boy, why is it solely his responsibility to call you ladies? Especially today in this so-called liberated age? Shouldn't it also be calledStupid Girl Syndrome when the girl does not put out any visible reciprocal effort? I know you ladies think sitting by the phone and being available is doing your part, but we can't see you sitting there. So we don't know if you are interested.

In this case the boy called twice and got no love. He was never called back and so has no reason really to think you are that interested. And you probably played it pretty cool on the phone also.

The one thing that is kin of sad is that he didn't call you for date, it seems he called you more to "hang out". Whatever that means. But that is probably more a factor of a break down of traditional courting patterns in this country. But that doesn't make dating any easier when there are very little rules left.

I don't know if this in your own experiences ladies. but I know a number of girls in college that have never been on any real dates since arriving. Its all some ambigious hang-out.

IT is so easy for any guy that has watched some old movies to really impress young women these days, because women don't seem to expect all that much attention to the little things from their men. Sad really. Its like a breakdown of the old rules with no replacement with new beter ones.

LOL, wouldn't it be ironic if we had each other's phone numbers moldering away in a shoe box? But that can't be possible, I would remember meeting a girl named Cream.

You are more than conventionally pretty eh? Well if that is a consensus, send me your number and I'll call you ;)

If I took a guy's phone number when I was single, I used it. There was even a time or two that I went to the ends of the earth to track one down. In a couple of cases that comes to mind, we ended up dating for over 3 years. My point? Take the number if you're going to put it to use.
I was never known to keep a collection of guys' numbers, but when I did, they never collected dust. However, I can think of many times that a guy took my number to feed to his dust bunnies.

I met a guy last night who told me he would "e-mail me." What the hell does that mean???

I've met guys who I refused to give #'s to, who then tracked me down via email.

SCARY.

But of course, the ones you WANT to call/email don't. WHY? lol

Not all guys are bad apples and not all girls are either. I see it the way Amy does. Take charge and make that call. At least so you can get rid of that "what if" feeling. All things happen for a reason. Whether they are bad or good. If nothing good comes out of all this do what you can to learn from it. But remember not all guys are jerks. There is a nice guy out there for you. I just think all too often we are overlooked.

I remember meeting a guy named Jimmy at Turtle Bay, and he did call and take me out to dinner in Greenwich Village. We had a great time, at least I did. You know what happened next...NOTHING! He didn't call me. :(

James, I think/hope that it's a consensus. Will you really call me or just add my number to your growing collection? Ok, here goes another number for your shoe box. 718 274 on second thought I better not! ;)

I'm guessing... Don't hold your breath.... but that's a new one to me.

I told a girl I'll call her. I told her this tonight. I will call her. Um....I'm open to suggestions as to WHEN!

If you want to ask her out for a date on Friday night, call her on Tuesday or on Saturday night call before Wednesday. Have a plan in mind like dinner and a movie. If she's anything like me, she will appreciate you putting some thought into planning a date. Always give a woman three days notice before a date. It gives her time to prepare, and no woman wants to feel like she's a last minute choice because you had nothing better to do. Also, call a night before just to firm up plans.

ok,..i'll call her tomorrow. I didn't want to call tonight and seem too desperate. Didn't we have this same discusion about three or four months ago? And then last spring too?? Not that its a bad thing. I don't think we should limit ourselves as hip hop artists. Word.

Billy Optimist,

No No No No No No!

Never give a woman three days to think about an upcoming date, especially a first one. Women are worse than Sports Center, by the time your date has rolled around they will have analyzed it, dissected you, called in expert opinions, and tried for a group consensus. Thats an awful lot of pressure, and it only takes one friend going eeewww to destroy your date.

Lower the pressure. The sooner you call if you are interested the better, you want to ride the momentum of her liking you and you being new.
Cream is right when she says that notice needs to be given for better dates. Calling a girl up and asking her out to a formal dinner in an hour is not a great idea.

But the first date should be about the two of you connecting. So calling her up and inviting her out that night, or the next day for a cup of coffee and desert is a nice thing. And there are plenty of little desert coffee places now, or even a Starbucks or Borders will do.

The advantages are:
Its a short date, so you can talk and not run out of things to say. Plus its easier to be "on" during shorter periods of time.

IF the date goes sour, well coffee is quick. And if the date goes well you can have a contingency plan worked out in advance and go on from there.

Always treat for the first date, even if she insists (most girls don't press you too hard about taking their money :rolleyes:) if she really pushes just come out and say, hey i would really like to pay for the this because that makes it feel like a real date. (plus then you know you are on a date and not going to be pidgeon holed into the living-death-friend-category.) Pay and be gracious even if she is a twit, she'll tell her friends and you will get Social Brownie points.

Good Luck.

Cream- Damn girl I was all excited! I had my Cell phone out and dialing your digits only to see the number incomplete! So now I'll have to lead two girls on in the future and let them down just to even the score.

James, you are so funny! Do you ever come to New York City? You know what I'm thinking...;)

Thanks James.

Billy, good luck and be sure to take Jame's advice. I wish I had this window of insight when I was in college, but then, all turned out for the best!


James, I couldn't agree with you more!

IT is so easy for any guy that has watched some old movies to really impress young women these days, because women don't seem to expect all that much attention to the little things from their men. Sad really. Its like a breakdown of the old rules with no replacement with new beter ones.

I did this in Junior High and HS...Thank heavens there are cell phones so if you are the type to wait and wait, at least you can leave the HOUSE!
I know you ladies think sitting by the phone and being available is doing your part, but we can't see you sitting there. So we don't know if you are interested.