The Funniest Thing That Happened in One of Your Classes!
 

After hearing a story about something that happened in one of zntke's classes yesterday--and I hope he'll print it here--I'd like to know what the funniest thing was that ever happened in one of your college classes!

When my sister was in college, she had a class in one of those auditorium classrooms. This girl fell asleep, fell sideways out of her desk, and rolled down the steps to the professor's podium! What I always wanted to know was how she ever had the courage to return the next day!

My freshman year I took history 101 at 8:30 in the morning. I had mono so getting out of bed that early was always difficult so I always had a cup of coffee with me. One day I arrived a minute late so I took the last seat in the front row. I then spill my whole cup of coffee on myself so I had to run out of the room to the bathroom to get paper towels to clean up. All this while the prof was trying to teach.

I will never forget this as long as I live. Ever.

Freshman year, we were required to take 2 HPR (gym) classes. By the spring I was ready for my second one, so I chose Golf and Bowling, HPR282. Oh you can imagine my joy when I realized that this grand university was going to require me to take a course about golf, which I love dearly. I actually had a choice of like Judo, and a bunch of other crap. But God, golf and bowling sounded like a great way to end my Monday-Wednesdays.

THree other KA's sign up for this class with me.

Uh-oh.

Well the four of us cruise through the semester, the class is going great, and everything the four of us did in this class was comparable to a monkey fucking a football. We had some good times. The end of the semester comes, and Coach (a female girls basketball assistant coach) decides that for our final we are going to the country club for a golf tourney with the class. Well the four of us tee off last, and let the rest of the class get well ahead of us because we had snuck some bourbon into the mix. We dont play golf if we aint drinkin. Well, we get to about the fifth hole, and Redneck (his real name was Ken) was teeing off first, he had the honors after a birdie on the previous hole. So he addresses the ball, swings, and caught it fat. Ball went 40 yards straight in the air, landed about 10 feet in front of him. We were rolling. Now kids, here in the South, if you dont make it past the ladies tee on your drive you have to play the rest of the hole with your pants around your ankles. LOL. That was the rule, course we never abbided by this, considering we had been thrown off courses for much, much less. Well redneck throws his club, unbuckles his khakis, and drops his drawers. Hell by this time im laughing so damn hard i had bourbon flying out of my nose. Well anyway, hes laughing too, pulls up his pants, and over the hill comes coach, barreling at us in a golf cart a la smokey and the bandit when they jumped the fence and landed at the baseball game. Uh oh boys......

The conversation between me and Coach:

Coach: MCGINNIS!!!!!

Me: Ma'am?

Coach: Get over here!

Me: Yes ma'am

Coach: Mr. McGinnis, would you care to explain to me why in Gods green earth I just saw Mr. Marshall with his pants around his ankles?

Me: I didnt see it ma'am

Coach: Dont lie to me son.

Me: Yes ma'am

Coach: Have you been drinking?

Me: No ma'am

Coach: Well you must be hopped up on something if you let Mr. Marshall drop his pants in front of God and everybody.

Me: Yes ma'am

Coach: Mr. Marshall, if I see any of the 4 of you expose yourselfs again on this golf course, so help me God I will call the police and have all 4 of you kicked out of school!

Us: Yes ma'am


If I'm lyin, then I'm dyin. Funniest thing I EVER had happen to me in a college class. We won the class tourney by 2 strokes but Coach gave all 4 of us in the class a B. Whatever, I was just glad that she didnt flunk all of us. Thats college, remind me to tell you about my highschool drafting teacher picking up a trash can, throwing it at me, then tackling a printing press.

Ok, I was in my 3 hours history class . The class was dragging and the teacher was to much into her lecture to pay attention to everyone. There was this girl a row over from me to my left. I heard two guys in the back row laughing and looking at the girl a row over. I heard one of the guys say "you can see her ass". I look over and low and behold this girl had very low, low rider jeans on. To top this she obviously didn't have any panties on because you could see half her ass because she was slouched forward. Well this other girl that was sitting with the two guys in the back was obviously disgusted and I heard her call the other girl a slut (speaking to the two guys). She made a comment on how a girl like her shouldn't wear stuff like that (meaning the girl is not attractive). I would have to agree with the girl on that point even though she may have had the right body size for it. The next thing I heard was the girl say was "watch this". I saw her sneek up to this girl with a piece of ice from her cup and drop the ice down her butt crack. The girl a row over started to squirm and tried to play it off. I can tell the ice went a little further than her butt because she was reaching for her crotch. When everyone that saw this they started to laugh. Once the laughing started the girl started cring and ran out of the class. The teacher had no idea what was going on and no one really told her.
I will be very suprized if this girl shows up to class next week. I did feel sorry for her, but I still think it was awful funny.

Sitting in Neuropsychology. Front row, trying to sound smart while talking to the professor about hereditary conditions. Only undergrad in a grad class, so it's important to make a good impression, right? Well, we all know that "congenital" is a synonym for "hereditary," right? Only I didn't say "congenital." I was searching and searching for the right word, and what should come out but...

Me: "So, Dr. Fantie, this could be considered a genital condition?"

Whole class loses it, I turn bright red and Fantie has to sit down, he's laughing so hard. Yep, that was fun.

Another one:

One of my sisters, Sarah, was taking a class last semester witha really rude professor. She got up in class one day to go to the restroom (she was really quiet and unobtrusive about it, so not to disturb his lecture). She has her hand on the doorknob and the professor stops speaking, turns to her, and says, "Where do you think you're going?" Sarah, a little aback, says, "Uh, the restroom." He flips out, saying "No! Sit back down. Go to the restroom on your own time!" Keep in mind, this is a 2 1/2 hour block class with no break. Sarah, pissed off at his attitude, pulls a tampon out of her pocket, holds it up, and says, "Fine, would you like me to change this here, then?"

That shut him up :)

I love that story! :) We had a few teachers at my school who could benefit from a student like Sarah! :D

Freshman year, first day of Macroeconomics class: the auditorium was set up so that when you walk down the stairs, into the classroom, you were facing all the chairs..and the students sitting in them. So what do I do? Does anyone remember that scene from " Clueless" when they go to the party and Tai is walking down the stairs and just falls flat on her butt? Well, ya, that was me. I slipped, slid down the stairs, and landed at the bottom..in front of a very full auditorium. Needless to say, I was dying....

Hubby and I were on a BREAK at the time of this story.
When I was a Soph (a DUMB Soph) I was taking a course in Psy called Human Sexuality. EVERYONE took this course and really got into it. I heard there was a very, VERY shy Junior guy who wanted to ask me out. He was planning on being a geologist, was a Sig and the joke was-you should see this guys "rocks". He was known for having a beautiful collection of geodes.
Everyone said I needed to start a conversation with him because he was too shy to approach me. I was at the UC with my friends and he was with a few of his brothers. I "perkily" walked up and said "Hey_____,how are your gonads?" He looked so shocked and disgusted. I didn't even realize what I had said but everyone was laughing so hard. Then it hit me-my Freudian slip!

This happened in one of my friend's bio classes - it's a good laugh for us but totally embarassing for this poor student.

The prof was talking about the reproductive system and for this particular lecture was focusing on the male reproductive system: so he's telling his class how there is a high content of glucose in the semen (or something along those lines) and one of the girls in the lecture puts up her hand and asks why does semen taste salty if there is such a high level of glucose in it :eek: . Now let me tell you 2nd bio classes at UBC aren't small - about 300-400 are in these lectures.
When I first heard this story I nearly died laughing - oh that poor girl.

what was her name and number?

Ok, so my cool embarrasing story was from Middle School (I think I mentioned it here before.) 7th grade English class.

Was in there with a few of the cool kids. Especially this chick Jenny, that I was really diggin on. Anyway, the teacher was one of those who was inot art and all that stuff too, (regardless of the fact that it was an ENGLISH class). Anyway, she tells us that "today we'll be watching a film on glass artists." So I am all cool, because my grandmother paints glass dishes and stuff. I tell everyone, making a huge point to tell EVERYONE, that my grandmother does this stuff (HOW I thought telling them that my grandmother did this stuff would impress them, I dont know now). "So yall gotta all watch. Seriously. I have seen my grandmother do this stuff and shes really good. So watch ok?"

Well they start the video.

Its abunch of big burly sweaty hairy men who are glass blowers. (You know the ones who take molten glass and shape it into bowls and vases and stuff.) So then the whole class is lookingat me like, "your grandmother? Nice."

Probably one of many reasons I went stag to 8th grade prom. :rolleyes:

great thread...
i don't have any major stories, just little incidents that happened hear and there.

I'm not sure how it works at other schools, but here final exams are written in the gym, so anything that happens will be seen by hundreds of other students. One of my final exams was just before christmas break last year...I had noticed after about 15 minutes a guy a few seats ahead of me was just scanning over his exam and hadn't written anything down. He then begins ripping the exam booklet, stands up, yells "MERRY FU$@ING CHRISTMAS" and throws the snow flakes into the air.

Freshman year, I had this one class in a huge 400 person lecture hall. The class was totally full that day. Practically every student showed up the day because the professor was doing a review for the final. The class got silent as the professor started to do an algebra problem on the overhead. All the sudden, this girl in front of me let out the loudest, raunchiest fart I have ever heard. I feel so bad saying this but it smelled soooo bad that she cleared 3 rows of students (we all ran so that we wouldn't have to breathe in the toxins). The rest of the students in the class were laughing...even the professor! She just got up out of her seat and left class.

two guys i know did this in a huge lecture hall...and it wasn't even a class they were in.

this is from a movie, but i can't remember which one. anyway, in the middle of the teachers lecture one of the guys stands up and says really loud "you know what? fuck this class! i'm out." he leaves the class and slams the door. then like five minuets later the other guy stands up and says, while pointing a random people, "fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you. i'm out!"

too funny. i wish i could have seen it in person.

Josh

josh8o,
I believe the movie you're thinking of is "Half Baked."

Yesterday my professor who weighs aproximately one ton (I'd guess) got pissed off because he didn't have any chalk.

so what'd he do?

He kicked a hole through the wall!!!!!

Also, a good friend of mine got trashed the night before one of his Calculus exams and he puked in class (and it got on his test), it wasn't too much so the teachers (it's a auditorium class) didn't notice, he wiped it off, finished it.........

and he got an A!


Also through all three of my first Calculus classes we had a quiz everyday at the beginning and the end of class. My roommate at the time would come to class, take the quiz, go to the bathroom and take a nap, then come back in for the 2nd part, but a couple of times she was still drunk so she actually passed out in the bathroom (there's a couch in there, she wasn't on the toilet) and missed that quiz, and another class or two.

I'll probably think of more later, but this came to mind first:

Sophomore I was in a history class that was extremely small - only about 8 kids ended up finishing the class. We're all sitting around doing this reading - it's me, one other guy, and six girls, and we're all spread out. The professor had us in groups of two to discuss the reading with each other. So I'm working on my exam, when I smelled something absolutely foul. I look around, absolutely disgusted by this series of events. All of a sudden, the girl sitting closest to me looks up and smiles, nods her head, then goes back to working on her test. All of a sudden, the two people nearest us look at us, they can smell it. It got bad enough that I had to leave the room.

Now - the girl I was working with was no bigger than about five feet tall, a very small girl. How she was able to rip one out like that, I'll have no clue.

Collin

LOL, take it from me, size doesn't matter at all when it comes to that! :D :D :D

Siobhan - I heard that story! I thought that happened at MY school! :p

My friend was in her Russian language class and the professor asked her a question, and she answered. The professor kept asking her the same question in Russian, and she continued to give the same answer. She didn't even realize what the problem was until the professor reminded her that she was in Russian class and was answering in Spanish!

Ok I have another one...
 

This was pretty scary at the time but is totally funny now...


I was sitting in history class back in February and there are about 15-20 students. My prof is blabbing on about Canadian Immigration policies. Anyways my table starts shaking a little bit and so my 1st reaction is to see who is tapping their feet cause that often will make little vibrations - well I'm not the only one doing this, I see other people looking around to se who is tapping their feet and then the room starts swaying back and forth like there's a wave going underneath it. Everybody stops listening to the lecture and starts talking and saying things like holy sh*t. My prof turns around (he's been writing on the board) and asks what the problem is. Hello what's the problem the ground is moving. So one of the students puts up his hand and says uh sir I think we're having an earthquake. My prof is just like oh, ok. So the shaking stops and he says what to do - should we go outside or stay in, we decided to stay put - oh yeah we'll do really well when that big one hits Vancouver. And so we resumed the lecture. I just still can't believe the prof didn't notice we were having an earthquake.


(The quake in Vancouver was caused by the 6.8 quake in Seattle - the seismologists said the it was only 2 something by the time it hit us which I totally don't believe cause we are used to having 3 and 4's and have never felt anything that big before.)

I heard the semen story on the internet...anyway, I guess it could have happened to your friend...

Why are fart stories sooo funny??? I wonder if Kendall is reading this thread...

Sheer immaturity. :D

yeah, thats it!

One of the sem.I wasin Law Class and had been studying very hard and felt I deserved a break so went to the localwateringhole for acold one. In walks my Law Prof.gets a beer and comes and sits with me.!!!!!:eek:

The next morning as we are getting ready for the test he calls out 4 no neck jocks and tells them they flunked the test already!!!!

Well of course they got pissed and wanted to know why!:mad:

The good Doctor told them that he had seen them out at the bar and figured if they were out drinking, they were not studying. One big mouth says well Tom was there also.

In a very straight face Dr R. said yes but we were discussing law!!!!!!:D

*Once we had a substitute teacher who was extremely small. While she was giving a lecture she lost her balance and fell in the trash can! :D

*I held my 7th grade teacher hostage with a super soaker water gun.

*I once had a prof who cursed in spanish when someone asked her if Taco Bell was real mexican food, I guess she found that offensive.

*One of my most proper and PC teachers who got offended by everything, farted in class, we never let her lived that down.

One story I heard secondhand:

On the first day of what I call Music Theory for Geniuses (I was not in the class), the professor came in, talked a little bit, then said to the class "Why did J.S. Bach have so many kids?" No one said anything, and class went back to business as usual. Two months later, my percussionist friend Gabe stood up in the middle of class and yelled out "Because he didn't have any stops on his organ!" Class then went back to business.

Senior year, I'm in orchestra rehearsal, rehearsing for the opera, which was "The Old Maid and the Thief" by Giancarlo Menotti. When a conductor rehearses the orchestra without the vocalists, he or she will usually read or sing the lines before an orchestra's entrance, so they know when to come in. Baton raised, the conductor sang the line "My dear, do you mean liquor?" and kept her baton in the air. She looked down from her podium at the first cellist , baton still raised, orchestra ready to play, and said "Liquor? I hardly know her!"

Graduate school, in Understanding Information. We're talking about copyrights and copyright law, and I was relaying a story about my days as a junior high band director and the quandaries they face. You can't give kids originals, 'cause they lose them and they're expensive to replace, and copying that much music is illegal. I said "So really if you teach junior high band, when it comes to copyright you're just S.O.L." I continued talking, but there was this rustle at the front of the classroom, then laughter. When I finished my sentence, I looked at the professor and said "What did I say?" Her TA, who had this wonderful accent (he was from Sri Lanka) said "I'm sorry, KappaStargirl, I just never had to translate before." Prof had never heard the phrase S.O.L before. Good thing she thought it was funny.

I've got a few...

In high school AP US History, I had a few cute ones. The first incident involved my confusing the words "philanthropist" and "philanderer." As in, "I didn't know that Andrew Carnegie was so morally reprehensible." And then, the next week... There were four US Presidents assassinated while in office. I remembered two... the two nobody ever remembers (Garfield and McKinley), and couldn't for the life of me remember the other two.

Lionlove, woah! I too had an 8:30 history class my freshman year, I too had mono, so I relied on that morning pick-me-up, and I too spilled mine all over myself. I also knocked over the little dish of Golden Grahams (no milk) I'd brought with me for breakfast.

The next year, the morning after my grandfather died, I went to my one class before I had to drive home to meet my parents and go down to the funeral. I'd not slept much the night before. I showed up late for this class, not something I ever did 'cuz it was one of my faves, and got stuck with a seat in the back. That automaticly means that I'm not paying as much attention as I should be. Well, I was sitting there with my head resting on my left hand, taking notes with my right... I nodded off and slid forward on the desk and knocked my mug of hot Earl Gray and honey onto the girl in front of me. She let out a massive yelp, which woke me right up. The professor, my honours advisor, chose that moment to give us our break, probably so that she could go clean up. One of my sisters, who was in the class with me, sent me home to nap for a little while because she didn't want me driving like that.

The same conductor as in KappaStarGirl's story was reading down Beethoven's 9th with the orchestra (no choir yet) and she got a little overexuberant during one of the dotted-eighth-sixteenth note passages, lost control, and somehow wound up jamming her baton up her nose. She tells this story to all her intro conducting students and I almost peed my pants.

One time she was rehearsing our choir for Brahms' Ein Deutches Requiem on a lovely spring day and the biggest bee I've ever seen flew in through the open window and landed right at her feet. She jumped up on a stool and shrieked, then remembered where she was, slammed her fist on her chest and said, "Fear not! I'll get it!" She rolled up her score, scooped the bee up, and dumped it outside.

My first day teaching, my first class, I had an ED fourth grader punch me in the nose. Great shot, too. The kid landed it with his knuckles right up my nostrils. I was too taken aback to do anything. The other students were scandalized! "Oh my god, Mrs. H! Donald just punched Miss B!" Now I can laugh about it...

I was in fourth grade and the class had desks in groups of four...two facing two. Well we were doing something and I dropped my pencil on the ground and sideways-leaned over to scoop it up when...I tooted. It wasn't a loud one but loud enough that everyone in my group heard. They all started laughing saying, "Amy farted" and I looked at them like they were crazy and said, "What do you mean I farted...it was ____ next to me...I SWEAR" It got so bad that I sorta rubbed it in blaming it totally on the guy next to me. How humiliating!

Hootie:o

In my German class there are these two guys that I have known since my freshman year. (When you are a German minor at my school you have classes with all the same people) Well anyways, these guys are nuts (good nuts :)) and they are always talking about the weekend and how drunk they got and stuff well this one particular day was a Monday and the night before they had gotten really drunk. The one was talking about how he had the beer poops that night and then he starts talking about how he was so drunk he fell off the toilet and pooped down his leg. His roommate was telling how he could bring pictures in and show them to the class my teacher could hardly teach that day because she was laughing so hard!

In my daughters OWN words!
 

but meanwhile there is this smelly kid in my psych class that makes me think of pig pen from charlie brown. and the worst part about it is that i have to go from acct in ceba to psych in locket...aka the 10 min that they alot for walking to class....well i take like 12 and i haul a** (ME) across the campus... it sucks really bad. so anyway the only way to get into class when that happens is to go in through the back well ofcourse who wants to sit by teh smelly so the only seats left are in the back around the smelly kid. so every m.w. adn f. i have to sit by teh SMELLY kid for like an hour....it sucks

I think this guy must REALLY SMELL!
Made me think of Phoebe's Smelly Cat Song! LOL!

Dr. Riely, My Law Prof. who I was drinking with the night before a test the next day came in in an kicked out 5 No Neck Josks out as were seen drinking in a bar the night before!

One spoe up and said well Earp was there and to that Dr Riely said and yes, we were dissusing law!

Same Law Proff. on one of my tests wrote, Mr. Earp if Bullshit was worth a grade, you would get an A + but you must site cases so therefore for your attempt, I give you a C!

Dam Was I Happy! He was the John Housemann of my era and I mean for reeal!

Upon Graduation, I was invited to his house for Cocktails and finger food! Along with my guest! That was a honor!

My dad ask him what kind of student I was, and he said Mr. Earp, you do not want to know!

Gawd I could write a book but who would want to read it!
I thought about writing a book about my Fraternity Days! Nope, dum ass me!

Animal House!

My sophomore year of high school I passed out in chemistry class because I was standing too close to the bunsen burner jet... really embarassing!

This year, in one of my classes, I have this really cool/funny professor that always is messing with his hair, and the other day it was hot, and he was running his hands through his hair and the middle stuck up like a mohawk, and it was like that for a while, and he didn't notice. Meanwhile, everyone was laughing, it was a a little humor in a long day... Today in that same class (big lecture) there were two girls in back of me, and one girl was like "I didn't even make it to my 8:00, because I didn't get back to the dorm until 9:30." they were talking, and the one girl was pretty drunk/hungover, and I heard this burp, and you could hear stuff coming up, and I turned around and she had her hand over her mouth. She didn't end up throwing up, but I think she swallowed it because they went over and sat next to the door after that.

L.

Last week in my ag extention and education class we were discussing the study abroad trip that our department takes to Australia and New Zealand. Well one of the guys, Tim, was sharing about the fun things that went on this year. All of a sudden he gives our prof who goes on the trip a look. Our prof looks at Tim, nods and says it's ok, so Tim starts sharing about how he got to hump two kangaroos well on the trip. My poor jaw must have hit the floor as well as the guy next to me, Kelly, who's from Chicago. The two of us looked at each other like did we hear that right. So Kelly raises his hand asks Tim to repeat himself, and again he says "I got to hump a kangaroo, actually two!" This time everyone start laughing. Appearantly we weren't the only ones who heard poor Tim wrong. It turns out he got to hunt kangaroos, not hump them LOL

Needless to say the whole class and our prof all laughed at the misunderstanding.

While in our Art of Poetry class we were discussing a Sharon Olds poem Last Night (a rather discriptive poem) a comment was made..."I think the poem is just about rough sex"
Followed by hysterical laughter from our side of the classroom!!

This just happend last Thursday. I was sitting through this boring lecture and next I felt someone tapping my shoulder (I dosed off). I opened my eyes to see EVERYONE staring and laughing at me, then my prof gave me a lecture for falling asleep and not taking notes. I was kind of embarrassed and whenever I get embarrassed I have giggling fits, so we all were laughing for like the next 10 minutes. It was a cycle that day because I dosed of several other times. My prof was pissed. :eek:

*bump*

In the biggest classroom at CSU (maybe holds around 200-275?), I had a class every dubbed "sex class" (psychology of human sexuality). In the middle of class one day, this guy comes in, completely naked, but wearing a gas mask, painted in black from his head to about mid-thigh, runs up to the front of the class, does a little dance, and runs out the other door. Everyone was silent for about thirty seconds, and then we all laughed for like five minutes. The prof laughed so hard he was crying, and then sweared that he didn't plan it (we had recently studied people who are into that stuff).