Getting a new perspective
 

been thinking about louloulee's situation. the other thread is not showing up...so i'm sharing this with you guys to see if we can collectively overlook the madness, and perhaps do something positive.

consider this:

is it more productive to join a sorority that is perceived as weaker and focus on making it stronger, or to start a new organization with a "clean slate" (no history), and try to build that one from the ground up? Is the former a more viable option, and maybe a better focus for her at this point?

A very wise GCer reminded me that we were all 18-19-20 once, and my panhellenic lens wasn't that finely focused at that age. Thank you to She Who Shall Remain Nameless...and i owe you one. You know who you are.

IMO I'd get a group of friends to join the existing sorority...I've seen reputations soar and crash in a matter of a few years. It takes work and a dedicated alum group to boot, but it happens. The existing sorority needs to identify their "target" nms...and develop their "brand".

Change could happen with the addition of new members, but the existing members would have to want change. Change would also depend on the number of existing members and the number of new members. 15 existing members and 15 new members? Change and perception could change quickly. 70 existing members and 15 new members? Change/campus perception most likely will take longer to realize.

BTW, someone sent up the Penguin signal, and PT deleted the thread at the OP's request. The dog pile was getting precariously high.

I'm thinking the OP is a kid. She didn't come here and stomp on the group after she had her initial whine, she said she is willing to join the group if they are interested in her. OP also seemed to think that the group may not want to change and might not want a bunch of new members who are different. I'd just like to put it out there to the OP and anyone else that the group invited her and others to pref. If they didn't potentially see her and these other women as sisters, they weren't forced to invite them. Any group will have a variety of people in it. Hey, maybe the OP could learn to like HP and Twilight if she was given a second chance!

Side note.... QFPing doesn't work well when threads to *poof*, but way to remember and do it well, GCers.

Of course any group can change, with the right combination of people, processes, and passion (the 3 Ps!). But I truly cringe at the thought of the hellish reign of 'move aside, it's ours now' tyranny she and her merry hoard of disenfranchised victims would inflict on that chapter if they do decide to begrudgingly accept bids.

Reallllly think she should look into drama club.

This.

She didn't just say, "Those girls are unpopular," and tell us about what happened; she supposedly went directly to the Greek Life director to complain, told him/her the problems with the system, and wanted to change the rules, hold another recruitment period, and remove XXX sorority from quota calculations.

Seriously?!

We had every right to be all WTF.

I saw about the first 15 minutes of the thread. I have seen Greek chapters (mostly fraternities) that are like the OP described. They are geeky in their own way and they like it. The thing is that fraternities don't have quotas and many times aren't under pressure from their nationals to double their size or whatever.

These sorority members might have liked their group just the way it is and would've been horrified if a big pledge class had come in and changed the whole complexion of the sorority. Imagine that most of your sisters love HP, Twilight, Hunger Games, and various dystopian novels and suddenly you get this huge class of new members who decide that every member needs to be in 2 intramural sports or spend 10 hours per semester pomping floats. You didn't sign up for that! You only took all those girls because your International HQ made you! Now your sorority is 1/3 girls like you and 2/3 rah-rah girls.

People on GC often say, "If a bunch of you accept bids, you can turn the suffering sorority around!" You might. But you might change it into something that the sisters never wanted and ruin it for them.

So since I missed the thread, is the gist:
I got a bid to a sorority that is super weak. I don't want to join. The greek life office isn't helpful. I want to start my own group?

Is that the basic idea?

No, it was, ohmygod so there is this totally unpopular house that literally ruined rush for the rest of us because the other good houses had to drop people for quota and left all of us that only got bids to pathetic XXX house a hoard of depressed, disenfranchised victims (she really used all those words - not in that specific order, but in that spirit).

So she wanted GC to tell her how she could go about either getting a new spring rush set, even though the other houses made quota and they would NOT want XXX chapter to be part of it, of course, OR, how can she find out if the national org is doing anything to help those poor girl because she and the Greek Life director (who she took it upon herself to meet with to review how broken the system is, in her depressed, disenfranchised view) just can't figure out HOW this chapter is still open.

Something along those lines........ awaiting delete.

She dropped out before prefs along with about 60 others. There were girls who received a bid from this particular sorority that did not accept them. She had a discussion with the GL advisor as to her options and GL advisor suggested that she and a bunch of her friends join and help build the sorority up, or start a new sorority. She realized that trying to change the personality of the chapter might not go over well with the present membership, and wondered what her options were. She did ask if there was a way to hold spring rush without xxx sorority participating. GCers took offense, piled on, and OP asked that thread be deleted. Thread was deleted.

NO FAIR :( It was just getting good and I was right in the middle of reading it!

LOL. But whenever an OP asks a mod to delete his or her thread, we're supposed to!

I was a colony member. It was a great experience but a lot of work. I burned out after 2 years. My daughter is now in her freshman year, and just pledged OMG, that one house nobody supposedly wants. After prefs, she called me for my opinion. Do I pledge or try to rush the colony. We know our kids. I love the national, even though its not mine and I said go for it. It only takes a few people.Needless to say, she is in love with her house, big sis, grand sis etc. I see pics of everyone and know it is a great sisterhood. There is nothing wrong with the girls, they're not the party girls or Polly perfects.
It hurts as a mom to see bad comments ie rejects nobody wants them etc. because its not true.
My daughter is a beautiful, smart young lady as are her sisters.
There's more to this story but for now, women who dropped out did so because they were in rush for popularity, not sisterhood.

I feel like it would be easier to be a colony member rather than that one chapter, because colonies start with no reputation while being known as a "weaker chapter" can be a reputation that is very hard to shake. Clemson has one of those "weaker chapters", and while they are all lovely girls and I would have accepted a bid from them in a heartbeat, they are unfortunately known as the chapter anyone can get a bid from. Is this true? No, I know of PNMs who were cut by them, but that label has clung to them despite their best efforts to rid themselves of it.

I'd rather have no reputation and get to make my own than have to fight against the current and try and change what everyone on campus thinks. On campuses with an ingrained tier system joining a colony may be equivalent to joining the weakest chapter, but at least there's a little more control in your hands.

Our colonization efforts only lasted 8 years. I would like to still see my chapter there. The grass is not always greener.
A pledge class can always make a difference. Standing up for what you believe shows character not bowing out because you're afraid of what people think.

No group of sisters considers they're in the absolute awful house and would really love it if someone like louloulee and her horde of other sophomores would come in and teach them how to be someone else.

This is a sisterhood. Girls join for many reasons - some perhaps to try to change things, but you don't do that alone, by yourself, or just because you'd like things different. I guarandamntee that they aren't sitting around waiting for her to come show the social misfits how pathetic they are.

There's a difference between being an enthusiastic member with great leadership skills and a girl who says "yeah, thanks for pledging me. Now let me tell you everything you're doing wrong." As a struggling chapter, I'd probably bite down and take the group that may appear to be heading in a very different direction. Chapters change over time and chapters in growth mode will have growing pains. Hopefully the executive board can successfully nurture these girls in a positive way and not just get bull-dozed. But the only way to no longer be the struggling chapter is to make some sort of significant change, and a change in personality type of the girls you've been pledging is probably the biggest one.

I have to say this: it's horde. (Edit: Just noticed that DGTess seemed to be equally irked.)

There are WRC's that are weak for NO REASON except that they have fewer women and a reputation as being the WRC. If you have to rush 2-on-1, for example, you are going to be weak at FR. There is no way around that. Every one of your rushers could be the best rusher ever, and the PNM's know that you are rushing them 2-to-1.

My junior year, we had a larger than usual pledge class that was VERY VERY VERY different than the then-current complexion of the chapter. No exaggeration that they changed things a lot. However, I think it got to the point that we all figured out how to find common ground.

This is the difference between guys and girls. If this situation would have happened to guys, they wouldn't have spent a second whining for a new rush or going to the Greek life director. They would have said "hey, we all seem to be on the same page here, let's turn this ship around." Guys know they make the organization, girls think the organization makes them.

But it seems easier for guys to do. Many campus cultures seem to be more tolerant of a small, unconventional fraternity than a small, unconventional sorority.

And ironically, it's sometimes the guys who are determining (whether intentionally or not) which sorority chapters "make" a girl and which ones "break" them.

YES!!! We should take that power away from them. If ABC fraternity is too good to have a social with xxx sorority, then all the sororities should not have socials with ABC. They would soon change their tune.

YESSSS!!! THIS!!THIS!!THIS!!THIS!!THIS!!

I honestly can't imagine a group of 19 year olds saying "XYZ fraternity said mean things about ABC sorority. We are not going to associate with them anymore, even if they are the hottest, richest, funnest guys on campus."

Besides - mixers/socials are only one part of it. It's pretty impossible to tell your members they are not allowed to eat in the caf with XYZ, date them, or go to XYZ parties.

The best way to fix something like that IMO, if it's really bugging your chapter? Propose a double mixer with your sorority, ABC, XYZ and another relatively top tier fraternity. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. If anything, cutting off mixers will only make the fraternities resentful of the sorority in question, on top of them being the butt of jokes.

I like your idea, 33. Sounds like a good solution to the problem.

Yes. I worked a Greek Council that had both local and national organizations. It seemed that the national organization felt pressured to have a larger chapter because sometimes that's the way they are internally organized, while the local organizations wanted to keep things small. They said anything over 35 would be TOO MUCH for them. I value that because they know what kind of sisterhood they want, they believe in being a close knit group and taking small classes of new members. I'm happy for them and I would never want to change that and ruin their experience.

Well, here's the thing. Sometimes you come in and you think, oh I'm going to change things and you realize that the chapter might not need as much change as you first thought. Recruitment is not an accurate picture of an organization. Sometimes, you'll find your people no matter where you end up. She could just end up being the most outgoing girl for that chapter.