informal recruitment
 

So I go to UW as a freshman and i'm currently doing formal fall recruitment and it's not going as well as I hoped right now it's philantrophy day and I have two that I don't think I would accept a bid from and one that i'm ok with but not totally in love with so i'm not exactly sure whether I should drop and do informal or what. I really wanna be in a sorority so I don't want to drop completely but if there's anyone who can give me advice it would be appreciated!

Holy run-on sentence.

There's no need for you to drop right now. Stick it out until the end of recruitment. You never know.. your opinion might change as the rounds go on.

How many chapters does your school have? Having three chapters is great, and to not have a connection with any of them is strange to me. Were you hoping to get a bid to a "more popular" chapter, and now you're upset that you no longer have them as an option? Are you really making an effort to get to know the sisters in the three chapters you have left? You don't have to answer here, but be honest with yourself.

Again, stick it out, and if you still aren't feeling it after pref, don't sign anything and try informal recruitment. Just be aware that the chapters taking members through informal might be the same ones that you currently have remaining.

Are you talking about University of Washington? The chapters there are amazing. I highly suggest waiting out till at least pref night. Go to the pref ceremonies and don't sign the card if you don't feel it then. Don't expect a better outcome than in your current formal recruitment though.

For me it's definitely not a popularity thing but I just have a lot of trouble talking and really connecting to two of my three houses. My school has 18 houses and today is a day that a full schedule would be eight houses. I'm just really worried because I really want to be in a sorority and I love the sisterhood part of it so much so it would be a shame to not be in any ): but at the same time I heard you shouldn't settle into one you don't really love.

As a general statement about most campuses (I have no specific knowledge of yours):

The chapters doing informal recruitment are usually the same ones that are weaker at formal recruitment, so it is not likely you would do informal and suddenly have more options.

Honestly, recruitment is pretty superficial. At UW, you meet 5-10 women in 100+ member chapter. How can you fall in love with a chapter in a week when you haven't really gotten to know them? Some members just suck at recruitment or maybe you just haven't met the right ones. They obviously like you and think you will fit in. They know their chapter better than you do. If you want sisterhood and to be in a sorority please continue to check out your remaining chapters. Read some of the recruitment stories around here. I'll try to find a few I'm thinking of, because some really show what a change pref night can make.

You have met a very small percentage of the chapter. I am 100% sure you are kind, mature, and interesting enough to find a great group of girls in any of these chapters that you click with. I know it feels crappy to not be "clicking" with the chapters you get back like it seems like every other girls is (tip: they're not), and it's normal for you to react that way, but there are things you can do to make things better more quickly.

During recruitment, every single chapter has one goal: make you fall in love with us. Regardless of how we feel about each PNM, we want her to leave feeling totally comfortable and at home with our ladies. If it's a girl we're not necessarily interested in, maybe she has a friend or roommate we really like and we don't want her to have any negative impressions of us. Maybe we just want all the future NMs to have positive opinions of us. Some chapters are exceedingly good at this, but others just aren't. Once recruitment is over and the polish and shine goes away, many things change.

At this point, the best thing you can do is pick yourself up, go into those parties like these are the only three chapters on campus, and (if you get a bid) truly commit to your new member education. Make a serious effort to bond with your pledge class and the older sisters.

The way we do formal recruitment can be annoying and superficial at times, but it operates under the assumption that a bid from any chapter on campus is an honor. You are not "settling" for any group and you need to stop thinking that way ASAP. Cry it out if that's your thing, do some thinking, and when you realize this is true you'll have a great time on bid day.

(Ahem)

And yes, most likely the chapters you "clicked with" are the ones that are very good at making girls feel comfortable and at home and won't be doing informal. Formal recruitment is not real life.

This just needs to be repeated.
A bid is an honor and not guaranteed. Even the weaker recruiting chapters still cut PNMs.

Well, look at it this way. The girls with full schedules are spreading themselves way too thin and will not get a lot of time or thought to decide as rounds go on. You have that already taken care of for you. Turn it into a positive rather than a negative. Also, if these chapters are over 150 girls, it's WAY too soon for saying you don't connect or love the chapters. Just keep an open mind and treat each day as a new day.

Yeah I mean i'm still sticking around until the end of tomorrow because I want to see how preference goes but could any of you guys give me more information about the informal process? Like where do we stay during then and are there usually even a lot of available spots?

You would be in temp housing which is not that great. Honestly I would say stick with it please. I talked to a girl who was disappointed today and I told her to stick it out because all the chapters here have something wonderful to offer. Recruitment here IS superficial. Please do not drop. I know of many girls who had no houses to see today and they would love to have been invited.

This is a question better suited for the Office of Greek Life (or whatever they call it on your campus).

I'm somewhat familiar with UW, if you drop out of recruitment you would move into a new place, like the dorms if there is place available. If there are chapters who do informal, which I have not heard much about, you would do that while living in your new residence. It's not like now where everyone I living together in Haggert(?). I would stick it out. I have know girls who didn't like the chapter at first but there are so many people you can't meet them all, plus there are so many other ways to get involved in the greek system I would not worry about getting along with everyone, that is if you get a bid. It's a big system with a lot to offer. And with a student body of around 40,000 you might find it hard to meet people. Well that's my opinion. Good luck.

Thanks guys! :)

UW is kind of a special snowflake in that the pledges move into the chapter house immediately.

But seriously, try to understand that you are meeting a very small fraction of the entire chapter, and the girls you're meeting may or may not be really good at rush conversation. This does NOT mean that she isn't a perfectly lovely conversationalist, friend and sister in real life. I know "trust the process" sounds awfully cliche when it's your life we're talking about. But think back to the last time you had a potential friend 1-put on a skit for you 2-sit on the floor in front of you while you sit in a chair to have a chat and 3-get to know you like lifelong friends in 3 or 4 minute increments. Never? Don't expect so much of these girls. Trust the system and join the sorority that you're offered at the end. You'll be happy if you allow yourself to be.

Once you connect with a few, it blossoms and then you become part of the sisterhood

Please let us know how things turn out!

I wasn't given a bid which I am pretty bummed about ): But I don't want to dwell on that too long and I don't know whether it is worth it to even do informal or whether to just dorm. I have always pictured myself in a sorority so I really don't want to just give up on the entire process. However, at the same time if there isn't a lot of people that even get in through COB then I don't see why I would when I was already dropped from formal so many times ):

i am sorry things didn't work out. there are several threads on GC that speak to your situation. try searching, & maybe someone will post some links here.

Sorry, OP. But I'm a little familiar with the UW greek system since I live in Washington and know many girls there. Luckily, UW keeps an updated list of chapters participating in COB

http://www.uwpanhellenic.com/join/cob.php

12 chapters are doing it according to the list and you can register for COB. Also, before COB begins, you should reflect on recruitment week and think about how things went.


-How were my grades?
-Did I have recs?
-Were my conversations good?
-Did I seem interested?
-Did I have any connections with girls I knew in houses?
-Did I show actual interest?
-Was I quiet/shy?
-Was I too loud?

Those are all things to think about/work on until you do informal. Best of luck!

Since recruitment just ended today I am not sure that list would be accurate. I would keep the link is something the op should keep in mind to see what I new. Idk just my thought.

that is an old list according to my UW peeps.

op, register for cob, but remember that you may be looking at chapters that have already released you or that you weren't happy with during formal....

Okay, thank you guys so so much! And I didn't bother with recs because every one at UW told me that they barely barely counted during rush. Also during COB should I be completely relaxed or should I still be as mindful about what I say as in formal? Thank you guys so much! :/

You should be careful about what you say, but if you think rush didn't work great for you because you weren't yourself or were too nervous about what you were saying, then by all means, try to be your authentic self. These are conversations. Not everything you say is going to be pristine, but it should be REAL.

But between now and when COB starts, spend some real time thinking about what went wrong. When you are released completely from rush, something went wrong. It wasn't just an accident. Too good for certain chapters? Too nervous/loud/not funny in your conversation? Dressed inappropriately? Memorable in the wrong way? Now is the time to really have a heart to hear with yourself. When rushing informal so quickly after formal you don't have much time to make substantive changes (grades, extracurriculars, making friends with sorority women, etc.) but you CAN present yourself better.

I think when I did formal I was just too nervous and starting rambling a lot and asking a lot of questions versus just trying to let everybody get to know me.

Bingo! So know that you know how recruitment is, between now and informal, work on this. Try practicing conversations with people and let them go both ways. When they ask you a question, listen and then give a concise, but still somewhat detailed answer so they get to know you and then ask them a questions when they're done.

UPDATE

UW has updated their COB page and as of now, there are 5 chapters participating in COB:


Alpha Gamma Delta
Alpha Epsilon Phi
Alpha Phi
Alpha Xi Delta
Delta Delta Delta

And it says the list is continuously updated. So OP, I would PM you, but my phone is being weird. I hope you've signed up for informal and good luck! :)

I hope that COB works out for you! I hope that you are able to relax and be more yourself in an informal recruitment setting. Good luck!