Triple Legacy released at pref?
 

I have a question about a young woman who recently went through recruitment and I was wondering if anyone had a theory on why she was released? The girl is a triple legacy and her mom is very active in panhellenic. The mom's house kept her through the entire week...then didn't invite her to pref! My friend and her daughter are obviously devastated.

Any theories? It goes without saying that she is beautiful, has a high gpa, is an incoming Freshman, etc.

Thank you for any insight!!!

We've heard many similar stories. Rarely does anyone find out why the girl was released.

Why would any of that go without saying?

To take it out of the equation. There's always the possibility that she ate with her feet though! :p

Membership selection is private to each chapter/sorority.

Taking it out of the equation is one thing.. implying that we obviously know this already is another.

And no one here can tell you why she didn't receive a bid. We know nothing of her situation. And even if we sat right next to her throughout recruitment, we still couldn't say why the chapters dropped her.

If she truly wants to be Greek, she'll need to try again. She could work on her conversation skills and get more involved on campus. She can analyze what MIGHT have been the reasons she was dropped and work on those things, but she'll never know for sure. Perhaps she just slipped through the cracks, like a few PNMs do.

I know it's hard right now, but all she can do is pick herself up, dust herself off, and put her best foot forward the next time around.

Fair enough, but . . .

It's not implying it, it's stating it. "It goes without saying" means "obviously," "naturally" or "of course"— it doesn't need to be said because everyone already knows it. Which is why seeing it tied to "she's beautiful" or "has a high GPA" in a question like his raises flags or me.

Maybe she had bad breath or a booger in her nose. Maybe she flirted with a sister's boyfriend. We can't tell you because we weren't there. The ones that were there can't tell you either. Whatever it was, there were girls they liked better.

I'm sorry it happened. I know how disappointing it can be getting dropped by your legacy sorority.

Did she get dropped from all chapters or is there just curiosity of how a triple legacy could be dropped before pref?

You know who you should ask? Her mom. She wasn't in MS either but she should have access to her sorority's legacy rules.

Some theories based on no evidence what so ever:
1) She flat out told the chapter she didn't want to be there and was rushing to make her mom happy. Also, she's not really sad she got dropped.

2) She was rude as hell to the sisters.

3) She is an undercover slut and slept with half of fraternity row.

4) She's dull, dull, dull and the chapter is anything but dull.

5) She's super awesome and the chapter has low self confidence and thought there was no way they'd get her so save the Pref invite for a girl they have a chance at getting.

Had she been invited to her legacy house, they would have had to place her on the bid list according to their national rules.

Honestly, does mom REALLY want to know the hurtful details about why her chapter cut her daughter? There is nothing but trouble to be had. Will it make her feel better if she finds out the half the chapter thought her daughter was a big nerd or had bad teeth or wasn't quite pretty enough or was to haughty or was a bitch? All this will do is bring more heartache. Bottom line, the chapter felt strongly enough that a TRIPLE legacy wasn't a fit for them that they were able to release her before prefs (likely after convincing alumnae at a regional level). Chapters make membership decisions. Period. Little legacy hopefully has other options for pref and mom has enough sense to help her through is tough time.

I was cut from my legacy chapter because they didn't think I would be an enthusiastic member. Two things occur to me whenever I think about that 1-WHAT EV and 2-that may have been an indictment of my sister's involvement, not my own potential.

But I do think if a triple legacy was being cut, it wouldn't be as benign as that, and therefore the potential for seriously hurt feelings exists if the truth were to get out. Best to let it go and move on to other opportunities. If she has had a bad rush overall, then maybe she can spend this year working on her issues and try again next year or even in the spring.

I agree with everything you said except this.

In my opinion, I doubt that a triple legacy would slip through the cracks. My theory (based on basically no evidence or no idea whatsoever meaning it has very little value) is that they gave her the benefit and courtesy invites that legacies get, but in the end it just wasn't a fit. This would explain the invites all the way up to, but not including pref.

I'm betting #1 or #3, strongly leaning toward #1.

This is not true for every sorority.

I think she worded it to account for all sororities. Bid list doesn't necessarily mean "first bid list".

again, not true for every sorority.

Well, anyone at pref goes somewhere on the bid list.

Unless, of course, she was hugely rude during pref or some other "horrid" information was learned between pref and when the bid list has to be turned in....like someone sent them a copy of her rap sheet.

If the chapter had released her any earlier, the complaint would be, "They didn't even give her a chance!" As it is now, the complaint is, "They took her all the way until right before pref and released her!"

The only way the chapter wins in the eyes of the mama & daughter is if they pledge her. For some reason, whatever reason, they chose not to.

As tough as it is on alumnae and family, we must realize that we had votes when we were collegians and now the current actives have that right to decide.

I don't even think there had to be an especially good reason. Sometimes, chapters decide to release girls for reasons of "fit" which might boil down to the girls just being kind of plain relative to the rest of the PNM pool.

I personally hate that, but I think it happens every year probably within all of the NPC groups.

If the mom really wants to know, she should work within her own group, but there's probably no good that will come of pursuing it.

Yep. This happened at my own colonization. We found out afterwards that 1 PNM who attended pref was not offered a bid and many moons later some of us found out that she basically was disrespectful and rude to the sisters during the party. Colonization is a different set of circumstances, but this was the only PNM invited to pref who did not receive an invitation...

It's a very rare event that something like this happens, and most panhellenics still require that you list every person at pref on your bid list. Once you have them at pref, you're stuck. Better get that rap sheet in earlier.

I have seen it happen - though you have to convince the GA and the RFM specialist to drop one from your list. But it can - and does happen.

That right there is the problem. I've also seen it happen where they've told chapters to just put the PNM at the bottom of the list.

With RFM, you're still going to end up with her. RFM has changed the playing field with the bid list. Used to you could put them at the end and not end up with them since QA's were limited to 5% of quota. But now, there is no limit so if you don't want them, don't invite them to pref. And if you find out something untoward at the last minute, you better be lobbying your folks and the GA.

Unless you fill before you reach the end of your bid list and she gets a bid elsewhere.

The problem with RFM is that no one "fills" until all are placed that can be placed. There is no limit in RFM to the number of NMs you can take. If they have maximized their options, you could end up with her. I've seen it happen in the beginning of RFM when everyone was working on the old premise till they ended up with folks who were at the end of their bid list. Uh-oh! Things have changed and so does our method of list making.

Thanks everyone! The legacy sorority was her top choice so her telling them she wasn't interested isn't likely. She doesn't have a rap sheet and as far as I know isn't a total floozy. I couldn't say how she behaved because I wasn't there. In the end she chose to drop out and try again next year. :(

Some do. It depends on how thin a margin you are working with. It's easy to issue absolutes, but look at bid numbers. There are many campuses with groups that take quota and nothing more. A handful take quota plus. A few take quota plus a lot. If you have more than 3x the number of woman as can fit in your pledge class, you are at a higher risk of taking a large number of quot additions...and could probably use them. In that case, begging as hard as you can to get rid of trouble PNM is probably the only way to avoid seeing her on bid day.