A Retro Recruitment - 'Game of Thrones' Style
 

I've lurked here for years, and each fall come back in excitement to read about the new recruitment season. It brings back such memories and nostalgia. I especially enjoy the recruitment stories, old and new, so thought I would share mine.


Intrigue, surprise twists, fascinating characters, perfidy, disappointment, and humor – I love the 'Game of Thrones' books and HBO series! I remember my recruitment in the 80s at the University of Oklahoma as having a lot of the same characteristics, so here we go. The 11 sororities at OU at the time were:


Cersei
Sansa
Jaime Lannister
Daenerys
Jon Snow
Arya
Catelyn
Tyrion
Shae
Ygritte
Bran


Back in those days it was still called ‘Rush.” During the summer after high school, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go through sorority rush until I ran into my good friend ‘Stephanie’ at the mall in early July. ‘Stephanie’ was a year older than me and had pledged Daenerys at OU the previous fall. She encouraged me go through rush.


I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. My parents had divorced the summer before my senior year in high school and I had a really, really rough senior year as a result. To make matters worse, I’d been a cheerleader my junior year but didn’t make the squad going into my senior year. So: my parents split up, I didn’t make cheerleader – my little teen world came crashing down. As a result, my grades my senior year plummeted. Money was tight after the divorce, and I wasn’t sure I really fit in with my perception of ‘perfect’ sorority girls. In short, I felt I wasn’t really the ideal PNM candidate.


However, I really respected and liked my friend 'Stephanie'. We’d been cheerleaders together and she’d been very supportive when my parents split. She promised she’d help me get recs and prepare for recruitment. If 'Stephanie' thought I should go through rush, it suddenly seemed like a good idea.



So I decided to do it! My mom and I went on a flurry of shopping, hitting all the end-of-summer sales. I was the first person in my family to ever go through recruitment, so we had no idea what to buy (as you will see when I share what I wore to the parties!)



Despite “Stephanie” offering to help out with recs, the assistance never materialized, so we scrambled to figure out A) what recs WERE and B) how to get them. This was really, really last minute, like late July, with recruitment starting in early August. I can’t remember how many recs we finally ended up getting, but there weren’t many. At the time, I was too busy trying to find the perfect outfits to really think too much about it.


I recently found my daily calendar book OU Panhellenic gave us at the first orientation meeting, so I have actual comments written in my girlish curving cursive to draw from. We moved into the dorms, and since my roommate had decided not to go through recruitment, I had the room to myself for the week. I met several other girls who also lived on my floor: “Patsy”, “Sharon”, “Amy”, “Tamara”, “Lori” and “Jennifer.” I'll share what I can remember about their experiences, too.



The events were scheduled in this way:


Day One, Friday: Open House Day – 7 houses
Day Two, Saturday: Open House Day – 4 houses
Day Three, Sunday: 7-Party Day
Day Four, Monday: 4-Party Day
Day Five, Tuesday: 2-Party Day or Preference
Day Six, Wednesday: Bid Day


As we moved into the dorms, I found myself beginning to question what I’d gotten myself into. “Patsy” and “Sharon” across the hall were moving in what seemed like an entire luxury home into their dorm room, complete with mini-fridge and even carpet! Their clothes closets were full of multiple choices for each day (depending upon the weather.) This was the 1980’s, mind you, so we’re talking sweater vests, walking shorts, add-a-bead necklaces – complete Preppy. Their clothes were expensive and, to my clueless eyes, seemed ‘perfect’ for a potential sorority girl. I felt a little worried when I looked at my own dorm room – bare essentials, no carpet or mini-fridge, and all the clothes that had seemed perfectly fine when I bought them that now seemed all wrong. Already the comparison process was starting, and I felt woefully inadequate.


However, I’m not a shrinking violet and I usually make friends easily. I decided to give the experience my all, put my best foot forward and above all, to have FUN! Many of my older friends from my large high school had gone through recruitment the previous year, and so I figured I had a bit of an advantage in having good friends in most of the houses, a situation that just might offset my lack-luster senior year grades…

I love retro stories! Looking forward to it.

A Game of Thrones story and an Oklahoma story! Can't wait to see how this turns out. A nice amuse bouche before the new course of current recruitment a stories!

Bonus points if you finish writing the story by tomorrow!

Day One:


August in Oklahoma is hot: 105 degrees in the shade. The first day of Open Houses started around 9 a.m., way too early for this girl before I discovered the joys of coffee. It was already positively broiling when we lined up with our rush groups. Each group had about 50 girls, and I was glad to see that ‘Jennifer’ from my dorm floor was in my group. The outfit I’d chosen for the first day was a blue and white striped seersucker sundress, which seemed perfect when I bought it off the sale rack – but it was HOT! I was starting to really sweat by the time we got to the first house, which was


Sansa, and the house was gorgeous. The door flew open and a swarm of pretty, preppy girls burst out, yelling and screaming and clapping. I think I took a step or two back – I’d not known about rush songs, and my nerves caused me to start giggling. They were loud! Inside, things were more subdued. I also felt nervous there, but wasn’t sure whether it was the girls or the new experience. They were all very ladylike, and I felt like I had to really mind my P’s and Q’s when talking with them. Let's just say my sense of humor tends to be a bit earthy, and I was worried that I might say something inappropriate! I saw 2 older girls from my high school there, though we didn’t get to talk. I wrote down that the girls were nice, rather quiet, and that I would like to go back to this house.


Bran. I didn’t know a soul here. The house wasn’t as impressive as Sansa’s but the girls were very nice. I really liked their theme, and felt they were more enthusiastic about their philanthropy. In fact, they were more enthusiastic in general than Sansa. I felt more relaxed here, but wasn’t sure I could see myself being a Bran. Instead of mixing and talking with various girls, we all sat down and listened to a few girls talk about the house, and I didn’t feel like I really got to know any of the girls. I wouldn’t mind going back, but I liked Sansa better.


Next was Ygritte. Their house was newer and very pretty. I felt very comfortable here, and actually sighed in relief when talking to several of the girls. They seemed very down-to-earth, with a wide mix of interests. I definitely wanted to go back. I felt like I could be myself at Ygritte.


Shae had a very nice house on the outside, but a little run-down on the inside. I cringe at my 18-year-old self making these surface judgments now, but at the time it seemed important. I knew some of the older girls who had gone to my high school by name, but not well enough to consider friends. These girls just didn’t really make an impression on me, good or bad. The girls were friendly, but I didn’t feel much of anything, other than a desire to get out of the heat. My notes say ‘bland’ and I didn’t think I would mind if I wasn’t invited back.


Next was Daenerys! My friend ‘Stephanie’’s sorority! I just knew it would be awesome. The house was beautiful and I knew lots of girls from my high school there. I was greeted by a girl I knew from high school, “Teresa” and I was so relieved to see someone I knew in this alien sorority recruitment environment that I squealed her name and gave her a big hug. As I was pretty sweaty at this point, I’m sure she was less than thrilled, but she smiled gamely and we talked until the next bump. Next I talked with a girl who was VERY tan – this was the height of the tanning bed craze. She was nice enough, but we didn’t really click. I kept looking around to see my friend ‘Stephanie’, but no dice. I got bumped to another girl I knew from school, and we talked comfortably. I finally got to see ‘Stephanie’ as we were walking out. She gave me a big hug and a smile, and told me she was glad to see me. However, as we left, I felt a little odd. I liked the house, the conversations were good, but I didn’t feel overly welcomed or like the ‘special snowflake’ I was sure I would be at Daenerys. At this point, it started to dawn on me that sorority recruitment was a whole new game, one that I was woefully unprepared for. I still hoped that I would get to go back to Daenerys, but wasn’t sure I felt completely comfortable there.


We walked on to Jon Snow. Very nice house and friendly girls. They seemed more ‘All-American’ and girl-next-door than either Daenerys or Sansa. I talked with a very cute and bubbly girl for the first part of the visit, then got picked up by an Amazon beauty queen type who had not the slightest interest in me. It was obvious. By this time, though, I was exhausted and knew there was just one house to go. I did my best to keep the conversation going, and at one point the cute bubbly girl looked over, rolled her eyes, and gave me a big wink. I left feeling like Jon Snow could be a house where I could feel comfortable, and definitely wanted to go back to learn more.


The last house for the day was Arya. I also knew some girls in this house, but not well. The house itself was a little outdated but the girls were terrific. Much like Ygritte, I felt like I could be completely myself. I spent most of the time with a fantastic girl who shared the same sense of humor as mine, and we really clicked. One of the girls from my high school made it a point to come and say hello, and the second girl I talked to was really pleasant, although we didn’t have a lot in common. She was very earnest about how much she loved Arya, and this made an impression. It was the first time someone had really talked about what their house meant to them, and the first time conversation got below a surface level. Despite my initial impression about their average house, I really enjoyed myself here and very much hoped to go back.

Since this was just the first day of the Open House parties and we still had to visit 4 more the next day, we didn't officially rank the houses. However, my personal preference at this point was:

1. Daenerys Stephanie! Girls from my high school! Gorgeous house! Squeeee!
2. Jon Snow I really liked the bubbly girl with the sense of humor and their pretty house. I really wanted to get to know them better.
3. Ygritte Felt fairly comfortable here and - pretty house! God, I was superficial.
4. Sansa Tent talk had it as a 'top house.' Maybe my feeling uncomfortable was just nerves due to the new experience? I didn't necessarily feel like I could totally be myself, but felt like these kinds of girls would be good to emulate.
5. Arya Though I really liked the girls, I had a hard time getting past their not-so-stylish house. I had the best time here and at Ygritte and looked forward to seeing if I clicked as well with other girls as I had this time.
6. Bran Their presentation was pretty boring compared to the conversations at the other houses. Still, I liked the girls I talked to, and even though it wasn't my favorite, I still felt open to visiting again.
7. Shae It wasn't horrible, but nothing stood out to me as interesting, either. Perhaps I just didn't get to talk to girls I had things in common with, but I wouldn't be sad if I didn't go back to this house.

I definitely had found some houses I felt I could be comfortable with, but decided to wait until the next day to see what the last 4 houses had to offer.

Hindsight you are doing a lovely job. I am eagerly awaiting your next and following posts.

awesome story so far =D

More please! :)

Day Two


The second day of Open House parties dawned just as hot as the previous day. Thunderstorms were a possibility and brought very high humidity, although the sun kept beating down. We only had 4 parties on the schedule this day, which I was profoundly grateful for! My outfit for this day was a pink and white seersucker sundress – you guessed it! The exact same dress I’d sweated my brains out in the day before, only different color. They had been on sale buy-one-get-one, and it seemed to make sense at the time. Doh! It was all I had brought with me to wear on this day, so I had no choice but to apply extra deodorant and hope for the best.

The day started with Cersei. There was some sort of delay, so we had to stand outside about 15 minutes past the scheduled start date. I could feel my long, thick hair getting positively WET at the nape of my neck, and I hoped they would let us in soon! Finally, we heard a tremendously loud SLAM!! and the Cersei ladies started their welcome chants. I thought the Sansa house was loud, but this was truly awe-inspiring. Their house was incredibly beautiful and impressive – and we had a lot of time to stand and admire it in the wilting heat, because their songs and chants just went on and on.

Finally, they let us in and we filed in, greeted one-by-one by a member girl. I was thinking how nice and friendly this was until I felt a hand slide into my ARMPIT!! The tall, lovely blonde who I was assigned to had taken my by the upper arm to lead me to the drink table and left her hand in my sweaty armpit the whole time! I knew this house was supposed to be a top house but omigosh-she-has-her-hand-in-my-armpit-and-I’m-dripping-sweat-all-over-her-hand!!

I couldn’t speak. Anyone who knows me will tell you how rare this is. I was A) embarrassed because I was sweating and B) appalled, because on a day when it’s over 100 in the shade, any fool knows not to even go near armpits, let alone leave your hand there for long periods of time! Seriously, she left her hand there the whole time we talked. I finally just looked down at it, then looked up at her, then back down at her hand and she still left it there. She kept her hand in my armpit wayyy longer than could have been considered normal, even in non-sweaty conditions.

I honestly don’t remember a thing we talked about (MY ARMPIT!). The girls were all like supermodels and the house was incredible inside (OMG I’M SWEATING ALL OVER YOUR PERFECTLY MANICURED HAND!) and I knew I was supposed to be impressed and fall in love because they were a top house (HOLY COW, HER HAND IS STILL IN MY SWEATY ARMPIT!) but I was so freaked out that I have no idea what I said. I wanted to like Cersei, I really did. But that was one of the weirdest experiences in my life, even to this day. I think I’m still scarred, nearly 30 years later.

Next was Tyrion. I still had the cocktail napkin from Cersei, and held it in reserve as we walked so I could surreptitiously mop my armpits in the event that the next hostess also felt the need to slide her hand in there. I was pretty unsettled and don’t remember much about Tyrion. They had a rep as a bit of a party house, but the girls I talked to seemed really nice. I’m sure I wasn’t at my best, as I was worried about being sweaty the whole time. Their house was a big and traditional and attractive. I felt fine in the event that I’d be invited back, but was too shell-shocked that I’d sweated all over a Cersei’s hand to take any notes.

We then went to Jaime Lannister. I felt excited again because I knew tons of girls from my high school at Jaime Lannister. Their house was pretty, their chants and singing were cute and catchy, rather than thunderously terrifying, and nobody tried to put their hands anywhere embarrassing. I was immediately greeted by one of my closest friends on our H.S. cheer squad, ‘Gwendolyn’, and she stayed with me the entire time. ‘Gwen’ would walk me around, introducing me to many girls, and our conversation was normal and fun and pleasant, just like we were talking in a regular environment.

So many girls that I knew made it a point to come up to me and tell me they were glad to see me. I started to feel better. I started fantasizing that ‘Gwen’ would be my Big Sis, and that I’d be reunited with all my friends. I felt happier than I’d felt so far during recruitment, and actually started to get excited that I’d found my college sisters. It was that good. ‘Gwen’ had always been a close, calm and laid-back friend. We’d clicked right away when we first met, and talking with her felt just like old times. I left feeling SO happy and knew Jaime Lannister was where I wanted to be AND where I felt wanted!

The last house of the day was Catelyn. I knew it could never compare to Jaime Lannister, but I was excited to see the older sisters of one of my best friends from high school. I knew that my friend ‘Suzanne’ was also going through recruitment and that she would almost certainly be a Catelyn. Their house was pretty, maybe not as stylish as Sansa or Daenerys, but definitely somewhere I’d be proud to live. I felt very comfortable at Catelyn, and ‘Suzanne’s older sister immediately picked me up and we laughed the whole time. I’d always gotten along great with her, and felt like I could definitely see myself as her sister. I was still riding on a complete high from my great time at Jaime Lannister, and was almost giddy with relief to be met with such welcome at Catelyn, especially after the traumatic Cersei armpit incident. I could definitely see myself being a Catelyn. I could tell that all the girls really felt affection for one another, and they were very ‘real.’ I was so tired at this point but I knew I would have some hard decisions to make because I didn’t want to “let any of my friends down.” Ha ha – like it was really up to me, right?

When we got back to the dorms, we had to write all the houses in order of favorites. I ranked them:

1. Jaime Lannister

2. Daenerys

3. Catelyn

4. Sansa

5. Jon Snow

6. Arya

7. Ygritte

8. Tyrion

9. Cersei

10. Bran

11. Shae

The next day we would be going to 7 of the houses – I was excited but nervous, hoping that I would get to go back to Jaime Lannister and Daenerys and see my friends again!

Since we only had 4 parties to go to, there was plenty of time to hang out in the dorm rooms with the other girls on my floor going through recruitment when we got back. Some of the girls were legacies, and most of us had already decided what our favorite houses were. “Patsy” really liked Daenerys (with her tanning bed habit, she'd have gotten along great with the girl I talked to), Jaime Lannister and Cersei, “Sharon” liked Sansa, Cersei and Jon Snow, “Amy” had already decided she would be a Cersei and nothing else would do, “Tamara” was leaning toward Jaime Lannister, Arya, Catelyn and Jon Snow, “Lori” was a Cersei legacy and “Jennifer" liked Arya, Jon Snow and Daenerys.

They all thought my armpit buddy experience at Cersei was as horrifying and hilarious as I did, although a few couldn't believe a Cersei had done that. They told stories of PNM who had passed out from the heat, one girl with green hair and a pierced nose, and of one girl who got separated from her pledge group and kept coming back to the Sansa house because she knew that was where she belonged. We stayed up late that night, too excited to sleep!

Seven Party Day

We were awakened by our Rho Chis bright and early the next day to receive our list of houses. After that, we had an hour to get ready and begin our tours. I got my list, and it read:

1. Daenerys
2. Arya
3. Tyrion
4. Jaime Lannister
5. Jon Snow
6. Catelyn
7. Ygritte

My first reaction was relief that I had all 7 parties to go to. One girl on our floor had only received 5 and was in floods of tears. I was so excited that most of my favorites, including Jaime Lannister and Daenerys, had invited me back! While I wasn't surprised that Cersei had cut me, I'd been looking forward to the opportunity to get a NORMAL person who wasn't obsessed with armpits so that I could have the chance to really get to know if they were a fit. I was also somewhat sad that Sansa had cut me, as all the girls on our floor were going back to Sansa.

Overall, though, I was super happy to go back to the houses I got, and not sad at all to give Shae and even Bran a miss. I had the fleeting thought that I never really got the chance to find out what Bran was all about, but mostly I was all SQUEEEE! about Jaime Lannister and Daenerys.

I can't remember exactly what I wore to these parties - I think it was khaki pants and some sort of lineny button-down blouse with those shawl collars that were in style then. Oh, a BIG woven leather belt. Still too hot for the weather, but I don't remember sweat issues quite as serious as the previous days.

Daenerys I was so glad to be going to Daenerys first, while I was still fresh. I was now obsessed about being sweaty (gee, wonder why?) and was ready to make a great impression. 'Stephanie' greeted me at the door and I was so happy to really get a chance to talk to her. We learned about their philanthropy and got a tour of the downstairs part of their house. I got to meet several more of the girls and had a good time, but compared to Jaime Lannister, I just didn't feel as comfortable. Things just felt a bit stilted, like the girls there never really let down their facades. However, I felt sure that with more time, I could get to know them better and still felt I could be very happy at Daenerys and was pumped to get to be there because HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS!

Next was Arya. The girl who I was paired up with was a senior and she was hilarious! We totally clicked - shared the same warped sense of humor. She introduced me to several of her closest friends and they were awesome. These were girls I would have chosen as friends regardless of organization. The party seemed to fly by - they shared their philosophy and we toured the house. At one point, there was a rather stuffy girl who shot us some quelling looks because we were laughing so much, but my host just laughed that off, too. I was really surprised how much fun I was having and how I regretted having to leave when time was up. Dare I think it, but I was feeling as if the girls at Arya were much cooler than the girls I had just left at Daenerys...but - HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS!

Our next stop was Tyrion. Their house was so much nicer than Arya, but the girls just weren't as easy to talk to. For the second time, I think poor Tyrion suffered from the way I was feeling after leaving the previous house. I didn't know anyone there, and the girl I talked to was very quiet. Our conversation felt stilted and I just didn't feel like they really shared anything about their sisterhood to make me want to be there. I wanted to like them more, but I just wasn't feeling it.

But that was ok, because next was Jaime Lannister!!!!11!! :: backflip :: I was so stinkin' excited that I practically cartwheeled into that house. My friend 'Gwen' was in the skit, so I was paired with a girl I'd never met. The skit was very cute, but almost too cutesy. Despite my overwhelming love for Jaime Lannister, I was making internal comments in my head about how cheesy it was and that it was going on a bit too long. However, after it was over, another girl I'd gone to high school with came over to take me to the refreshment table. We were chatting animatedly until I choked on my drink and had to be patted on the back until I could breathe. Now I was feeling flustered and embarrassed. Oh noes, what was happening with my perfect dream sorority? Finally, 'Gwen' and another good friend, 'Cindy' came over and we had a nice conversation. We laughed a lot, telling stories from high school and they told me how much I would love being a Jaime Lannister. My love was restored and I felt certain this would be my sorority!

Our schedule then took us to Jon Snow. I was hoping to get a chance to talk more with the bubbly girl from my first visit, but instead was greeting by a girl I knew casually from a rival high school. We had a nice conversation and she was perfectly friendly, but it just felt very surface and small-talky. I felt so disappointed. I really wanted to learn more about this house and really wanted to like it. We learned about their sisterhood, philanthropy and got a house tour, then the party was over. I looked for Bubbly Girl, but didn't see her. I'd been looking forward to talking more to her, but not this time. I decided that I would seek her out at the next party.

Next was Catelyn. I felt comforted to be going there, because I was still a little confused about not feeling like I connected at Jon Snow. When I got there, I was paired with a gorgeous redhead I'd never met. She was really sweet and told me that she'd heard good things about me from 'Suzanne's older sisters. We also shared the same major and so found a lot of things in common to talk about. I felt even better about Catelyn because even this perfect stranger was fun and easy to talk to, and it seemed they had taken the time to pair me with someone that had shared interests. We learned about their philanthropy and several girls talked about what their sisterhood meant to them. I felt like my brain was fully engaged for the first time since starting recruitment - and that it was ok to be a brainiac here when the mood struck. Dare I think it - but Catelyn was quickly becoming my favorite house. It just felt good and right to be there.

Finally, we went to Ygritte. After Catelyn and even Arya, this time it just seemed flat. The girl I talked with was perfectly nice, but kept asking me about cheerleading and talking about how they had some OU cheerleaders in their house. I had no intention of continuing that in college and told her so, but she kept wanting to talk about it. We got a house tour and it was quite lovely. I finally got bumped to another girl for a very short period of time, and even though she was pleasant to talk to, I just didn't feel like the girls were as interesting OR as interested in me as I did on the initial visit. It wasn't horrible by any means, but just kind of fell in the middle. I would have felt happy to go back, but it wasn't a stellar visit. I liked them fine, though.

After all the parties were over, it was time to go back to the dorms and rank all of our parties in order of preference. This was very hard for me. I felt conflicted - the houses that I wanted to like and felt like I SHOULD like hadn't been as great an experience as I'd expected - and a few of the houses I absolutely adored had fallen in the middle of my earlier rankings. What to do?

We had a few hours to decide, and all the girls on my dorm floor were talking about their days. Everyone had very firm opinions on which were the 'top houses.' After hearing all their input, I quickly wrote:

1. Jaime Lannister
2. Daenerys
3. Catelyn
4. Arya
5. Jon Snow
6. Ygritte
7.Tyrion

More! More! More! I'm loving this story.

4 Party Day

The next morning we got our invites bright and early. Since there were only 4 parties to attend, we had two hours to get ready for the first event. I went into my dorm room, shut the door, and eagerly tore open my invite list.

1. Ygritte
2. Arya
3. Catelyn

WHAT? Seriously? Tears immediately sprung into my eyes. No Jaime Lannister? No Daenerys? I wasn't going to get to be in a sorority with my high school friends. They had cut me. They didn't want me. What was wrong with me? I must be a huge loser when sororities absolutely packed with all my closest older friends from high school DIDN'T WANT ME.

Oh, it was ugly. I had myself a big ol' pity party right there in my dorm room. I was SO glad that my roommate had chosen not to rush and that I had it all to myself. I bawled. I threw myself on my twin bed and thought about dropping out. I wondered how I would face all the perfect princesses on my dorm floor who had mini-fridges and outfit-matching Pappagallo shoes and color-coordinated storage systems from The Container Store and were almost certainly going back to ALL THE HOUSES THAT HAD CUT ME!!

Then, after a period of time much longer than I care to admit, I sat up, stopped crying, wiped my eyes and considered my situation. I had gone from being a girl who hadn't even considered being in a sorority a month before, to a girl sobbing in her dorm room because things hadn't turned out like I'd hoped. I barely recognized myself at this point.

I did some thinking and decided to focus on the positive. Yes, I didn't get invited to the full four parties. Yes, I felt disappointed and - dare I say it? BETRAYED by those girls who I thought loved me from high school. But I had been invited back by two houses that I had really loved and truly connected with. And by another house that was just fine.

So I pulled myself together, put a cold cloth on my red, swollen eyes and started to get ready. I wasn't thrilled but I was ready to make the best of it. I kept thinking in my head about what I had done wrong, how I'd hoped to be sisters with 'Stephanie' at Daenerys and 'Gwen' at Jaime Lannister, how I'd hoped to get a chance to really get to know Bubbly Girl and more like her at Jon Snow. And then I stopped myself and tried to focus on what was good. I loved the girls at Arya and Catelyn. I'd had the very best time at their parties. I'd really felt like I connected. And... Ygritte had a pretty house...

What a great story! I am on the edge of my seat!!

I LOVE this story. Retro, big school, and GOT!!! But, I think for the first time, it's a theme where my opinions of the characters chosen is influencing what chapters to root for!

I'm going to be sneaking back to this thread all day! *
Your memory for every detail is remarkable.



*actually, at this time of year I spend a lot of time on GC!

The whole armpit thing is hilarious! So is the pity party!

More, please!

Thank you all for the kind words - I'm so glad I kept a little diary in my calendar and saved it all these years. It's really helped with the details.

So - I got ready and headed down to meet with our groups for 4 party day. I waited until the last minute because I was afraid someone would ask me which 4 houses I was going to - and I only had 3. When I got downstairs, however, there were a lot of red eyes, a lot of sniffling, and some missing faces. There were also some jubilant smiling girls, but it seemed like the majority of the girls I'd gotten to know or that I'd seen every day looked a bit shellshocked.

From the whispered comments, I learned that grade cuts had been pretty severe and that many girls had dropped out. Ahh, now I could understand what had happened to me a little better. I'd only managed a 2.75 my senior year during the divorce, after a lifetime of As and Bs. No wonder I'd been cut so heavily. I also learned that "Amy" from my doorm floor had been cut from Cersei and she had decided to drop out of rush and that the girl who kept stalking Sansa during Open House had been dropped from all the houses and was not asked back to any for 4 party day. I felt a little better, but still wondered if there was any point in going through the rest of the charade. I hadn't been wanted at Jaime Lannister, where all my good friends were. That fact played over and over in my mind, like a hot little blister, and hurt each time. I tried to make my internal voice shut up by thinking of how much I liked Catelyn and Arya. But I still felt like a loser.

After a brief pep talk, our Rho Chis released us to head to our parties. I had chosen what I thought was a gorgeous turquoise dress. It looked like a raw silk but had some shine to it. I had borrowed some matching turquoise heels from a friend, but they were a bit too big, so I'd had to stuff the toes with tissue. In hindsight, I'm cringing looking at the pics. The dress was too tight, too short and made of some shiny man-made material that just wasn't really 1980's prep wear. All I knew was it made my eyes look very green and I thought I looked like a million bucks.

I saw "Tamara" and "Jennifer" from my dorm floor walking in the same direction. "Tamara" was also heading to Ygritte first, and "Jennifer" was walking to Jon Snow. We talked as we walked, and I gathered that they had also been cut from several of their favorite houses. "Tamara" and I said goodbye to "Jennifer" as we arrived at our first party:

Ygritte I was feeling pretty sober as I walked in, and knew I had to really reach out and get to know these girls. They offered us delicious cupcakes and we broke off into groups of 3 or 4 and just talked. Unlike the last visit, I had a very vivacious brunette girl who was great at keeping the conversation going. "Tamara" and I stuck close by each other and the more I got to know her, the more I liked her and thought she would be a great pledge sister. Ygritte had not been high on either of our lists, but we were both trying to look at them with fresh eyes. We got to tour the whole house this time, and it was really cute and well-decorated. Our hostess took us to meet the president and some of the officers, and they asked a lot of great questions and really seemed to want to get to know us better. Although this was the best party I'd had at Ygritte so far, I remember clearly looking out the window during a transition period and feeling almost detached from the process. It hurt so badly that I'd been cut from Jaime Lannister and Daenerys, that what I thought were my close friends hadn't wanted me. It all seemed very surreal at that point, and I started to wonder if I was really cut out to be in a sorority. I enjoyed the party at Ygritte, though, and could see there were many girls there who I could enjoy being around. I also saw a girl that I really liked who I'd gone to high school with. "Shelley" was my age and I hadn't known she was going through recruitment since our last names were far apart in the alphabet. She confessed to me that she loved Ygritte and was hoping to end up there, and that made me think it might be a good place for me, too.

Arya was next, and it turned out 'Tamara' from my dorm floor was heading there, too. This made me happy - I wasn't alone in my journey. It was a short walk, but my feet in their ill-fitting turquoise heels were already hurting. When we got to Arya, I was greeted by the same senior that I'd adored at the last party. Her name was "Debbie" and she hugged my shoulder warmly and told me she was so glad I'd come back. At this party, we alternated between milling around to talk and members standing up to share why they'd chosen Arya. It was very relaxed, very comfortable, and I could feel my spirits start to rise. I looked over at 'Tamara' and she had a huge smile on her face for the first time that day. 'Debbie' kept introducing me to new girls, and spoke so well of me to them that I could feel my bruised ego start to recover. Each girl I met was funny, smart, and easy to talk to. There was just something about the energy at Arya - the girls were sincerely happy and cared about each other, but had great sense of humor, too. I think there were cookies but I was having too much fun talking to the members to want to take time to eat them. It seemed everyone could be themselves there and be accepted. I felt happy for the first time that day, and I really felt that Arya would be one of my top two.

Catelyn was just a short walk from Arya, and I was glad because my feet hurt so badly. 'Tamara' split off to head to Jon Snow, and then she had Bran for her last party. I was glad to be alone so I could walk really, really slow. I thought about taking off my shoes but didn't want to run my hose. When I got to Catelyn, my friend 'Suzanne's older sister again took me by the hand and introduced me to more girls. I also saw many PNM girls that I knew from school, cheer, church, and other friends I'd made during recruitment. I relaxed immediately and really liked all the girls I met. After some tea and little sandwiches, we all sat down on an Oriental rug in the big room and listened to many members talk about what Catelyn meant to them. In between speakers, 'Suzanne's sister whispered to me that she really hoped I was having fun, that I would be an awesome sister, that all the girls really liked me and were hoping I would come back to preference. Since I'd known her so long, it didn't feel like a violation but rather a welcomed return to normal conversation. I knew I would feel at home here and that 'Suzanne' and her 2 older sisters would envelop me in their fun group, just as they had in high school. However, compared to Arya, the party just felt a little flat. While some of the girls speaking were great speakers and had interesting stories, some of them were not and spoke too long. Finally, when it was time to stand up, my leg collapsed under me and I almost fell into their big glass coffee table. My foot had fallen asleep from sitting too long! I was SO embarrassed! But the girls around me all reassured me and laughed it off. I felt like they handled it so well, and it made me feel that Catelyn would be there for me through thick and thin and that I didn't have to be 'perfect' to find a home there.

Now my parties were over and I could slink back to my dorm room before anyone noticed that I didn't have a 4th party scheduled. I quickly got out of those hurty heels and that tight shiny dress and thought about my choices. I knew that Catelyn and Arya were my top two choices from what I still had left, so that part was easy. I'm not proud of how 'glass half empty" I was feeling, but have to be honest. While I had liked Ygritte more this time than ever before, it still didn't quite feel as comfortable to me.

But what to do about ranking Catelyn and Arya? Catelyn's house was much nicer, and I already had a built-in support system with Suzanne and her two older sisters. I felt like I could be myself there, that I wouldn't have to hide being a brainiac for fear of being labeled a nerd. I had great experiences each time I went there, and had always had great conversations. I could really see myself being a Catelyn, and being happy.

I had enjoyed every Arya party from the beginning. Now, with Jaime Lannister and Daenerys removed from my options, I could finally see that I'd been ranking Arya much lower than what my true feelings indicated. I absolutely loved "Debbie" - a complete stranger that I'd just met, but felt immediately close to her. Most of the girls I'd met there had been great to talk to, and I could see they were a very close sisterhood. The only drawback was that I really didn't know anyone well there, and their house. It was very lovely on the inside with classic decorations that were quite tasteful. But the outside was very dated and just not that impressive. While I knew in my head I was judging a book by its cover, my emotions feared that others would judge me by the appearance of the house. I knew it was shallow, but that was my main concern about Arya.

When it came time to rank, I wrote down:

1. Catelyn
2. Arya
3. Ygritte

The next morning, we got our invites to 2 Party Day, or Preference. I wasn't surprised at all to see

1. Arya
2. Catelyn

I fleetingly felt a little badly about Ygritte - after all, I had really liked them, they had a lovely house, and my friend "Shelley" would probably be there. I just liked Catelyn and Arya more. I was also thrilled to learn that my new friend "Tamara" from the dorms was also going back to Arya for Preference. She was totally laid back and fun to hang out with, and it would be reassuring to have a built-in PNM friend at Preference.

I have no recollection of what I wore to Preference, and I didn't take good notes that day. I can only assume it wasn't anything that caused sweat or limb maiming issues, or I'm sure I'd have written that down!

Arya was my first Preference party, and I wasn't sure what to expect. I was greeted by one of 'Debbie's good friends who was also a senior. After a few minutes of talking in a large group, we were led into a smaller room with the lights dimmed and candles lit. Each senior spoke about how being an Arya had changed her for the better during her college journey, and it was very emotional. Then several girls who had experienced difficulties in college spoke about how her Arya sisters were there for them, and how the sisterhood had banded together to support them beyond their expectations. I thought how comforting that would have been when I went through all the bad stuff with my family in the previous couple of years. The girls were very open, very honest and real, yet still managed to have a wry sense of humor. Finally, candles were handed around the circle and all the members lit their candles from one another. The each PNM was handed a candle and was asked to light her candle from a member's candle. They talked about how easily our lights can be blown out by life's circumstances, and that the Arya sisterhood was always there to relight our flame. I was very touched, and had tears in my eyes. Several girls were outright crying and were being hugged by members. I saw 'Tamara' was also touched. Then we all blew out our candles and the party ended with more small talk as the members walked us to the door, singing a very pretty and emotional song. It was the first time I'd seen the more serious and emotional side of Arya, and I felt like they were the total package. If I'd been asked to choose right then, I would have happily pledged Arya.

Next I walked to Catelyn. I saw my good friend "Suzanne" for the first time right at the door, so we walked in together and stuck together for the whole party. It was so good to see her and catch up, as I hadn't seen her at all during Rush. We were met by her sisters and all their friends, and a few other PNM friends from high school joined our group. We were just one big happy family, and we all were giddy with the joy of catching up and being together! The Catelyn preference was less subdued than Arya had been, and more upbeat. We all formed a big circle, and each girl was asked to say how she hoped sorority life would change her life for the better. I felt very nervous about saying the 'right' thing and can't remember what I said, but I guess I did ok because I didn't write down what I said. All the members shared what they thought it would be like to be in a sorority when they pledged, and then how their perceptions had changed over the years. It was so honest and refreshing to hear these older girls share some of the same fears and hesitations I'd felt about going through rush! They then sang a few songs and the president talked about both the tangible and intangible benefits of being in a sisterhood. They didn't seem to be selling Catelyn hard at all, but rather showing the PNMs that sisters really care and are your support system no matter what. I felt really happy and was having so much fun with old friends and new. I knew without a doubt that I would not only fit in at Catelyn, but that I would have tons of fun and be glad I joined!

Too soon the party was over, and we headed back to the dorms. 'Suzanne' asked me on the way back what I thought, and said that her sisters said they were all really hoping I would become a Catelyn. She verified that, of course, she herself was going to choose Catelyn and squeezed my hand. She told me to follow my heart, but that she couldn't lie - she was hoping I would be her sister, too.

Now I had a really hard decision to make. Catelyn or Arya? I didn't have much time to decide, and I was going to have to really search my soul. The parties had been very different in tone, but each very good in its own way. I felt very comfortable in both houses. I had adored my time at Arya until I got to Catelyn, where I felt almost giddy with happiness and belonging. This was a very hard choice to make, and I had no idea what the 'right' choice would be.

Aaaaaand?

Don't leave us hanging!

Hindsight:

You have a gift of story-telling; I can't wait to "hear" the rest!

GREAT story... don't leave us hanging!!!

After all the girls got back from their parties, we had plenty of time before dinner to talk on our dorm floor. We all piled into one room and shared our thoughts:

Patsy: was choosing between Daenerys and Jon Snow
Sharon: was choosing between Sansa and Jaime Lannister
Amy: had dropped out and had gone home until school officially started because she didn't get asked back to Cersei
Tamara: was choosing between Arya and Ygritte
Lori: was choosing between Cersei and Sansa, but was a Cersei legacy so duh.
Jennifer: was choosing between Jon Snow and Jaime Lannister

I still felt a little awkward. For the most part, these girls were getting to choose between the houses that I'd really wanted, except 'Tamara.' I didn't talk much during the conversations and comparisons, because I was still so sad that my closest friends had all cut me from Jaime Lannister and Daenerys. Didn't these girls realize how LUCKY they were? I spoke with 'Tamara' privately later, and she confessed that she was going Arya, all the way. I thought what a great pledge sister she would be, and how nice it would be to become better friends with her. But the ready-made friend group I had waiting at Catelyn - how could I let them all down by choosing another house where I really knew no one very well?

I excused myself to go think alone. I knew Catelyn would be great, based on my friends being there, by how comfortable I felt each time I was there, by how I felt I could be myself and brainy or flighty as the mood struck and I would still be welcomed. Their house was really pretty, too. Everything seemed to be pointing toward Catelyn as a no-brainer, except...

I just kept feeling this heart tug toward Arya. I had a huge rush crush on 'Debbie' the senior who I'd spent so much time with. I felt they were so sincere and real, and I had a total blast at each and every one of their parties. Plus they all seemed to have great senses of humor, which is crucial to me. By comparison, while the girls at Catelyn were all fun and friendly and great to talk to, I didn't get the same 'click' feeling when it came to sense of humor. Hard to explain, but in that area Arya felt like a better fit. But their house...was just so average. And I already felt like a loser for getting cut from my top houses. How could I pledge at a sorority whose physical house I also felt apologetic about?

Time soon ran out, and I hadn't yet made my decision. I kept wavering back and forth between Catelyn and Arya, and even made a Ben Franklin list - wrote down each house on a piece of paper and listed all the pros and cons of each. Still couldn't make up my mind.

I was looking at the blank pref form in despair when the Rho Chi knocked on my door and told me it was time to turn prefs in. Taking a deep breath, I quickly wrote a name, folded the paper and said a quick prayer that I'd made the right choice before I turned it in.

The next morning, we were all up bright and early. We were told to wait in our rooms until we heard the knock on our door to announce that bids were ready.

I finally heard the knock, saw the bid being slid under the door and grabbed it quickly. It read:




























ARYA









which was the name I'd written down as my first choice, otherwise known as:






















GAMMA PHI BETA!!!

Congratulations on Gamma Phi Beta! Awesome Recruitment Story!

In the end, I followed my heart tug and have always been grateful and felt I did the right thing. It truly was the right choice for me! Debbie is still a lifelong friend, as is Tamara. Yes, I felt regret at not choosing Catelyn, but was so grateful that I had two really good and meaningful houses to choose from.I also think it was the first time I made a choice based on things that matter, not whose house was fanciest. I also took a risk in upsetting my friends at Catelyn, but luckily they were true friends. We stayed friends, still went out together, and are in touch to this day. It was hard to walk away from 'ready made' friends, but I made so many new and true friends at Arya. They loved me through thick and thin and it has been so great as an alum to write recs for my friend's daughters and watch as they fell in love with Arya, too.

Here's what the other girls chose:

Patsy went Daenerys.
Sharon went Sansa and we are still in touch to this day.
Tamara went Arya, was my pledge sister, and to this day is a dear friend
Lori went Cersei. Duh. We still stay in touch.
Jennifer went Jon Snow. We are still in touch to this day.
Suzanne went Catelyn, of course.












Now, every time I read a recruitment story, I'm dying for a key so I know the names of all the houses. I figure since 30+ years have gone by, it's likely safe to share their real names with you.

Jaime Lannister = Chi Omega

Daenerys = Pi Beta Phi

Catelyn = Alpha Chi Omega

Sansa = Kappa Kappa Gamma

Jon Snow = Tri Delt

Arya = Gamma Phi Beta

Ygritte = Zeta Tau Alpha

Tyrion = Alpha Gamma Delta

Cersei = Kappa Alpha Theta

Bran = Delta Gamma

Shae = Alpha Phi

And finally, ironically enough, Gamma Phi remodeled their house a few years after I graduated - and it's now one of the most beautiful sorority houses on OU campus. To think what I would have missed out on if I had only let superficial appearances be my guide!

As a woman I just laughed out loud at the armpit, sweating thing. Just so wrong and so funny.

As a mom I just wanted to reach out to 30 year younger you and give you a hug. What an honest recruitment story filled with ups and downs and a happy ending. I wish other PNMs could take from your story that it's not just about today (recruitment week or the first year) but about a lifetime. Thanks for sharing.

Yay!!! I did not see this one coming, because the house description threw me off.

I know a couple alumnae from your chapter!

This is a really good story because it shows the importance of going with your heart, no matter what your mind tells you. Some girls will have a difficult decision between 2 chapters. You did, and I did, too -- in exactly the same time frame, 30+ years ago. Like you, I still remember. I was one of the last girls in the room, trying to decide. One was my heart; the other felt like it was my soul. It's OK to go with what your soul tells you, too.

Actually, this is the best position to be in during recruitment - to find yourself deciding between 2 houses that you know you would be happy at, no matter which bid you receive.

Yay for a Gamma Phi ending! Terrific story!

This is an outstanding story. Please stay out of lurkdom!

My best friend from high school pledged Gamma Phi Beta at OU about 10 years before you did. From your description, I wondered if it wasn't a crescent story! What a wonderful story! And YES, the armpit incident is hilarious, although like you, my 18 year old self would have died a thousand deaths. Thanks!

One of my friends from high school graduated from that chapter--it's the only house at OU I've been inside. Gorgeous! What a great story and a happy ending.

Thanks so much for all your kind words. It has really helped me to read all the stories of fine young women who also felt great disappointment and sadness at times during their recruitment. As much as I loved my new sisterhood and the great pride I felt to part of such a stellar organization, I still sometimes felt regret and sadness about not having more of a chance with my really good friends at Jaime Lannister and Daenerys.

It was very helpful to me to read here at Greek Chat about others who didn't end up in the house they thought they wanted, only to find out they ended up where they were supposed to be. I firmly believe that Arya was the absolute best place for me. I made such incredible memories and friends there! I just couldn't see it clearly during the chaos of recruitment.

Reading here has made me see that MOST recruitments have their ups and downs, moments of elation and disappointment - and that in perspective, I actually had a pretty good recruitment. It didn't feel like it at the time! Reading all the threads in all forums here also have made me realize that I did end up with the best of all possible worlds, in a sisterhood where they liked me for who I really am. It took some years to finally really understand that and appreciate it.

Some other tidbits I forgot to incorporate in the original story:

--My rush crush at Arya, 'Debbie' ended up being my Big Sis and she made my freshman year absolutely delightful. :) She was, and is, a total scream and is always true to herself, which was a great example for a wishy-washy 18-year old to be able to emulate.

--I stayed friends with 'Gwen' at Jaime Lannister. She felt horrible that I got cut, and told me that she and other friends from high school really fought for me. It came down to my average grades, lack of a rec, and the fact that the house had too many girls from my high school at each grade level and they were trying to get more out of state girls in my rush year! so - future PNMS - GET YOUR RECS, be prepared for cuts if your grades are iffy, and also realize that some things affecting the decisions are beyond your control. The advantage I thought I had at Jaime Lannister by having so many high school friends there actually worked against me at decision time.

--I lost touch with 'Stephanie' at Daenerys. I saw her out on campus and she gave me a very slight wave and fake smile but didn't attempt to talk to me. I was a little hurt by this and by her broken promise to help me get recs, especially since she's the one who talked me into rushing in the first place! But this was a good wake-up call that my feeling of discomfort at Daenerys was instinct, telling me that there were other houses that were a better fit. In the end, we reconnected thanks to Facebook and stay in touch sporadically now. In hindsight, I can see that forcing myself to fit into Daenerys just for the sake of an old friendship with one girl would have been a mistake, and I'm grateful now that decision was taken out of my hands. I did end up having several good friends in Daenerys as an upperclassman, so nothing against the girls in that house at all. Just wasn't a fit for me.

--My turquoise dress at 4 party day truly was horrific - I laughed about it for years afterward with 'Debbie', 'Suzanne' and her two big sisters. I've always felt grateful that the girls in Arya and Catelyn were able to look beyond that surface appearance to invite me back for Pref.

--'Shelley' did end up going Ygritte and we are still friends in close touch to this day.

--Nothing at all changed in my friendships with 'Suzanne', her sisters and all my friends who went Catelyn. We still went out together in large groups and laughed just as much as we ever had. I stayed tight with the Catelyns all through college, and now had new Arya friends to introduce into the posse. Best of all worlds!

--One of my closest friends my junior year was a Cersei and turns out that 'Armpit Girl' was somewhat of a 'dim bulb' and quite odd indeed. She ended up transferring schools the next year. I hope it wasn't our shared sweaty armpit experience that drove her away, but anyone with the sense God gave a June bug would have quickly removed their hand. The experience scarred me enough that maybe it made her flee the scene. Heh!

At the time, the disappointment during my rush seemed crushing, like the end of the world. Since most of the girls on my floor seemed to get the houses they originally wanted, I felt like it was my 'secret' shame that I did not. To any prospective new members going through recruitment, please remember this:

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

Do NOT compare your recruitment to others' going through it with you. Be yourself and listen to your instincts. All you can do is your best, and the only person you can be is yourself.

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

I love this. Just focus on yourself and try to make the best of YOUR situation. Worrying about what someone else is doing, whether it is in recruitment, class or at work is a one way ticket to anger.

Hindsight, this is an awesome thread! Thank you so much!

Really loved reading this story!!! I wish that ALL PNMs would read it & take away the lesson of your life long joy of sisterhood in a group that was not your first choice, but certainly the best choice!

Great story and wonderful life lessons! Thank you for sharing.

Bump for the new season. Thrilled to have written a rec for one of my pledge sister's daughters who also pledged Arya this week!