Rushing Again
 

I went through formal rush last semester and was not prefed. On the advice of my Rho Gamma, I'm going through informal rush this coming semester. I learned a lot from rushing last January, and I feel more confident in myself and surer about what I want from Greek life. At my school, you cannot rush until you finished your first semester of classes, so informal rush is designed for non-first years. I'm still worried that other sororities might find me wanting because I failed to be prefed as a freshman. If I keep my mouth shut about it, will I have a better chance of getting a bid? And how does Informal Rush work?

You should keep your mouth shut about it because that's the mature thing to do. And since we don't know your campus, we can't say how informal works as it varies from campus to campus. Your Greek Life office is your best resource. Generally speaking, groups who are participating either contact women on their own or get names from the Greek Life office and invite them to events. When the group is ready to extend a bid, they give them out. It's very individualized.

They'll know. You don't need to bring it up. I would spend some quality time thinking about why rush didn't go well for you. Were you memorable but only in a bad way? Did you not hold up your end of the conversation? Was your appearance up to snuff? You don't have to be a beauty queen, but you do have to present yourself well.

What sororities don't want is the weird girl who only wants to talk about her pet turtle or the girl who won't talk at all or the girl who completely dominates a conversation. They want a girl who can grow and be part of a group of friends. You want them to know that you are a loving friendly SMART girl who is also not too big for her britches, so to speak. After you've spent some time thinking about what you might have done, talk to someone you trust and accept their advice. It CAN happen that you just fall through the cracks, being for instance number 41 on everyone's list when 40 was the cut off. But probably not. If you fell too low on EVERYONE's list, something was probably wrong. If you don't change anything about yourself there's no reason to expect a different outcome. That's not to say you should act like a different person, but maybe a kinder, gentler version of you. You but with manners, for instance.

Work on your conversation skills, your wardrobe, your makeup and your general manners.

Let us know how it goes!

Rushing again
 

There are several threads about rushing and in particular, re-rushing and you should read them if you have not done so already. This recent thread about re-rushing comes to mind:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=132939

Good luck in your decision to re-rush and keep us posted.

thread link is bad

Here's the working link!:
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=132939

Thank you so much, guys! I've been mulling over what went "wrong" the first time around. I feel it was a combination of little things: nerves, feeling down on myself around the other PNM's, and just being slightly overwhelmed at the whole thing. I was never mean or sucky, I was just too quiet and fell through the cracks. I'm spending my summer working on these issues, and while I'm still me (a reading geek, not a fan of reality TV, and too Type A for my own good), I think I can present myself better this time, and enjoy rush. I will keep you guys posted!!!!

Yes, you most certainly can work on on it. Strike up conversations with people you don't know well or at all. This will help. The more comfortable you are having conversation with relative strangers, the better. It may sound odd, but it helps. Good luck to you! :)

Unless it's Delta Zeta (just kidding) :)

I apologize - In linking to this story, I did not intend to imply that you were mean or sucky; the writer's self-reflection was the important part. (I am also sorry for the broken link!)

That did occur to me, But I figured the DZs could weather that offense ;)

Oh gosh no! I didn't even take it that way. I know who I am, and what I need to work on. Thank you for the link, it was inspiring!

Hi again! So it's time for fall rush, but I'm a little conflicted. I'm now also interested in rushing Phi Sigma Pi, the honors fraternity. I understand that it's a lot like Panhellenic/ICF organizations, but with the perks of being an honor society as well. I'm allowed to rush a social and the honor frat, but how do I balance both? Supposing I receive bids from the honors frat and a sorority, is there a way I can manage the financial and time obligations for both organizations, considering that I have to maintain my grades, work, and am already committed to two other outside activities? Is it worth my while to join both?

I say do one or the other but not both at the same time. You want to be able to devote the necessary time required by one organization before you add another onto your plate along with your academics, job, etc.

There is simply no way for us to know the answers... we can't even make a good guess. Personally, I would suggest that you not to count those chickens before they are hatched. Take it one step at a time.

The problem is that she kind of needs to decide which way to go. If she gets a bid from PSP, then rushes NPC and gets a bid from an NPC, she's either going to be 1) super stressed and pressed for time or 2) having to tell one or the other "I have something else in the pipeline, can I get back to you on that?"

Since it is your second time NPC rushing, I would go with that and see how it goes. Does PSP rush every semester or just once a year?

Thanks for the advice!!! I've decided to rush PSP this semester, and give Panhellenic a chance next semester!

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-83Z6hZKo_t...GIF%5B1%5D.gif

Whaaaat?

Help me understand what made you come to that decision.

Yes, I agree with Sen (AND DEAN). That seems like the wrong decision. As someone who is already a non-freshman, your chances at an NPC sorority will only decrease (probably drastically) after this semester. Can you say the same for PSP?

I have several reasons for choosing to rush PSP this semester and not a Panhellenic sorority. My most important reason is probably the reason you chose your houses: where I will be the happiest. My school is in informal rush right now. Therefore, not all the sororities are accepting new pledges. I remembered which houses I loved and which houses I did not when I rushed last time. Unfortunately, all of the houses that are taking new members (and there are only a few) are the ones I didn't love. I know times change and people and preferences change, but I'm not quite willing to rush these houses when I know I could be really happy somewhere else. I know that time is of the essence since (and I'll put this bluntly) I am a less favorable candidate and a sophomore, but there is a chance for me to find my home with a wonderful group of men and women who share most of my values.

I went to a rush event for PSP tonight and really clicked with the brothers. When I talked with them, I felt like I was talking to my friends and family. I believe in what they stand for, and I can picture myself hanging with them, wearing those letters proudly, and taking my place in the Greek system. Yes, there are a couple of sororities with whom I felt wanted and happy, but they are not in my grasp at the moment. When I know I have potentially found my place, why should I hold out for a NPC offer that may or may not come along, and may or may not make me happy?

You all had reasons for pledging your respective organizations. They are your family, and hopefully you are happy and loved there. Well, I think I may have found my family, and I want to join them. I love greek life, and I think there could be a NPC out there for me, but it's not in my hand right now. What's in my hand is the chance to be Greek, and to be Greek in a group that I have fallen in love with. What more could I ask for, other than your understanding of my choices and your support as I pursue this?

You all have been wonderful, and your advice is stellar. I will remember it as I move forward with rushing. If you are interested (and not pissed off at me for my choice), I will post my success or failure. Thank you so much!! <3

P.S For those of you who have finished fall rush, good luck with your new, beautiful pledges!!!

I want to wish you the best of luck with PSP. It's a great feeling when you think you've found your home. I hope it works out for you. As for joining an NPC, I was under the mistaken impression that you had decided to skip Formal Recruitment in favor of joining PSP. Now that it's clear that Formal is in the spring, I think you've made a good decision. Focus on PSP for now.

Ah, like Leslie Ann, I didn't realize this semester was informal. That makes a lot more sense. However, I feel the need to point out that it is extremely likely that the chapters who are doing informal, the ones you don't like as much, are highly likely to be the only ones willing to take a chance on a non-freshman, unless you are just BFFFFFFFFF with some of the girls in the other chapters. As a sophomore, your mind should be completely open because you will likely have fewer choices than a freshman.

Good luck with PSP and formal in the spring!

So rush is finished, and I'm sorry to say that I think I didn't revive a bid. I'm not sure because we were supposed to receive a call last night regardless of whether we received a bid or not. I didn't get a call. Not a text, email, knock on my door, nada. So now I'm just floating. I'm pretty certain I didn't get a bid, but it's still really upsetting that I'm clearly not worthy of enough respect to get told what happened, instead of leaving me guessing. I was told earlier in rush to not be upset if I didn't get a bid, and that it wasn't a reflection of my value to PSP or whether or not they liked me. I just don't know what to do. I need some closure.

If you were told that you would be contacted no matter the outcome, I wouldn't completely discount it yet. It is possible that you didn't receive a bid, not I'd give it a bit more time.

Alright, now I'm faced with an unexpected dilemma. I don't want to seem pathetic or desperate, but there is, a bit ironically, one more chance to get recruited to a Greek organization this semester. It's a NPC that's recolonizing on my campus. I don't know much about it, but I have a chance to rush and become a founding member of the chapter. I'm still fresh from my rejection from PSP (which I discovered was because even though I was an ideal match and hit it off with the brothers, the applicant pool was too vast), and I'm wondering if the only reason I'm considering this at all is stemming from my ticking "Greek expiration date". I still very much want to find my family, and I thought I had done so, so what do you think I should do? Go to this NPC rush and see, or wait until next semester to rush PSP again OR go through formal again. Or should I throw in the towel, accept that I'm a loser, and begin my days as a GDI! I'm starting to feel pathetic, but I honestly just want to find the group on campus that feels most like family. This isn't about being popular or wearing letters for the sake of wearing letters. I just want to be accepted and loved by awesome people, which have always been my reasons for joining Greek life.

Please don't say it this way, it sounds like you are joining the Army or a cult. (One more reason I detest the term "recruitment.")

Go and see if you dig the colony, and if not, try formal again in the fall.

Oh, and PSP's reason as to why you didn't get a bid seems really weird to me. If they have a large pool of equally awesome applicants, I don't know why they wouldn't want to take them all. People can take twins when taking littles, we did that in APO when we had a huge number of people interested.

I am sorry that I didn't come back to acknowledge that you had answered my question from before. Thank you for answering and I am sorry you did not receive a bid from PSP. Read below to see why I feel this is a blessing in disguise.

But yes, go through colony recruitment. I truly believe your shift in understanding needs to come from within and from without. In other words, you need to understand that even if you get a bid from Da Baddest Bitches, Inc., that is not a guarantee that you will be accepted and loved off the top. Sisterhood and brotherhood just doesn't work like that. You may not click in the beginning, you may not click in the end, but hopefully you can make the best of whatever situation you find yourself in IF YOU GET A BID.

If you are invited to join a colony, it's going to be different. You will have to be a tone setter, a leader, a giver. This is quite literally not about what you can get from a sorority, but what you can give to it. Think about that when you are next in a situation to be judged by GLO members. My hunch is that they're not "feeling" you for some reason.

So basically, and this is pretty rude of me but I also feel like being honest: PSP doesn't impress me. It seems like APO with a GPA. I know the GCers here who have been members enjoyed their undergrad years, but there was always a second or third organization they were also loyal to.

The PSP members I know who are NOT members of another org have done shit for their organization after graduation. I'm not down with that. PSP has far fewer alumni volunteers than say APO and I just feel like the members I know literally did it because they couldn't get into anything else, and then they graduate and don't give back. That annoys me.

That annoys me about members of every GLO, but especially PSP for some reason.

Great post! (I removed the PSP part because I have no personal knowledge of PSP.)

When the colony has an info meeting, go check it out. You have nothing to lose.

Thanks! (No explanation needed :) )

So it's been awhile, but I wanted to post this last message on here, as it is the best, most brilliant news! I have been given a bid to Alpha Phi Omega!

I know what you all are thinking: SERVICE FRATERNITY? The way I see it, Greek is Greek, and there is really something special about these people. I've always loved community service, and this fraternity will let me be around people who believe that it is priority numero uno in life. I'm not dissing socials at all, but I've come to realize that they probably aren't for me, and that's alright. I've found my place in the Greek system, and I couldn't be happier. It just took a little longer than I expected.

I just got an email from my big, who's identity is a total mystery, but I think I'm going to love her (I hope it's a her. I think it is. Lol, APO probs). I can't wait to be inducted and start pledging!

Proud to be AΦΩ, and a Eta Zeta baby!

And that is what really matters! Congratulations and enjoy. :)

Congrats to you, and for some it takes a while to figure out where you best fit. It sounds like your service fraternity meets your needs and at the end of the day that's what's most important.

Congratulations and welcome to APO! : )