Wondering what to do
 

Hello!

My boyfriend and I have been together for awhile now and I want to give him like a sweetheart pin or something that has my letters on it but I don't know if that is acceptable for me to do. He isn't a greek and my sorority doesn't have a pin or symbol that we custom give out to our significant others.
It has been something that I have wanted to do for some time now but don't know what to do for it.
If anyone has any suggestions that would be wonderful!
Thanks

I know that in my sorority this is not permitted. That's probably the case for your sorority and why you can't find anything.

I know that there have been other threads about this, and I finally have to ask...

To everyone: What is the appeal of giving your letters to your significant other? I just don't get it.

To the OP: Your bf isn't greek. Do you think it's going to mean something to him to receive your letters (if you discover that he's permitted to wear them)? I know that maybe some guys would appreciate it, but some might think it's a little strange/awkward.

If you gave him a gift such as a pin, how often do you think he'd wear it? Do you think he'd feel obligated to wear it more than he's willing?

I don't know you, or your bf, or how your relationship is, but if it were me, I'd buy my bf something that he truly wants..... like beer :D

I guess my advice is: think about what this will mean TO HIM to receive such a gift before you struggle to try and find a way to have him wear your letters.

My overarching question is also WHY? He won't want it, you'll spend money and probably break a sorority rule and will probably cause conflict in the long run. Buy him something else that expresses your feelings for him. But my guess is you'd like to give him a hint that he's supposed to be buying something for you. If I'm right, this is a REALLY bad idea. Trying to hint your way into an engagement ring (or whatever) is, again, going to lead to frustration and conflict. If the relationship isn't going forward at the pace you'd like, move on to a guy who wants to be in a relationship like the one you want.

well he asked what the rules are himself awhile ago for that after I told him that one of my sisters got letters from her boyfriend who is Greek. I do not foresee him wearing it everyday but it would be something that I know would mean something to him.

Since he isn't Greek, he probably just wondered why he did that and what the rules are in a general way. I seriously doubt he asked because he wanted the reverse. Honest - guys don't think that way.

Even if it had been allowed, I cannot imagine my husband wearing a piece of jewelry with my letters, even though I still have his Delta Chi lavalier tucked in my jewelry box next to my badge.

Based on her other thread, I think the sorority in question is yours.

I know the guys here ARE Greek, but is there any scenario where you would wear the above described gift of jewelry? I mean, other than to appease your girlfriend?

Event shirts
 

Make sure that he gets event shirts; formals, date parties, etc.
For formals we always had really nice sweatshirts as favors.
My boyfriend loved his. I see guys at the gym wearing event shirts.
Hopefully, that will suffice.

Not even to appease my girlfriend (well, my wife).

Question: I might be out of my lane with this, but does your sorority have something like Beta Sigma Phi's Envoy program? Our chapter has a very good guy friend (Who is a Phi Delt) that had done lots to help us and we thought that he was the bees knees and all of that....so we selected him as our first Envoy. He was very thrilled with that honor.
www.betajournal.com/envoy_application.pdf

Some chapters have something like a sweetheart program. My chapter had dagger men who were elected each year based on their commitment and efforts to help our chapter. Often we had men who had gone above and beyond to help us and were basically fixtures of our chapter (and not just boyfriends or hashers, actually went above and beyond). Another chapter had a rainbow court, which I believe was something similar.

Yes, some chapters have sweethearts, and the like. But eaack, please don't try and push your chapter to vote your bf as their sweetheart! .. or whatever you might call it. Don't read the posts regarding sweethearts to mean that your bf is in a position to be one.

This definitely isn't the route to take if all you want to do is have him wear your letters.

Definitely this. Sorry if I in any way implied this.

Ha, yea.. I just didn't want the OP to get the wrong idea! :)

Same here. :-)

My husband never joined a fraternity, but at some point while we were dating, he learned about the traditions of lavaliering and pinning. We had been dating for a few months when he presented me with a little heart-shaped pendant and told me that, since he was not a member of a fraternity and hence couldn't give me a fraternity lavalier, this pendant was my lavalier - he'd given me his heart <insert sap here>. My chapter treated it like any other lavaliering.

To the OP, my suggestion is to do something similar. What jewelry would your boyfriend wear? Maybe cuff links with your sorority's symbol?

One of my sisters lavaliered her non-Greek boyfriend. However, he was around more and at more events than many sisters were. :) I don't think this would have gone over as well with just Joe Shmo Random Boyfriend.

If he isn't friends with all your sisters as well as being your boyfriend, I would skip it. Like Titchou said, guys just don't think that way.

The practice of a boyfriend giving a girl his fraternity letters is called lavaliering. It is typically a serious thing. On many campuses it is considered pre-engagement. It is not often reciprocated by the girl.

As far your situation goes, I mean, if you really feel you have to do it, you could possibly give him a lavaliere on like a leather bracelet or something, however, I personally wouldn't recommend it.

Also, it was hardly necessary to create two threads asking the same question.

This thread brought to mind this other thread where pretty much the same question -- also involving AXiD -- was asked. It's a very short thread (only 15 posts), but the last response may be worth a look.