This may be a stupid question...
 

Okay first of all, hi GreekChat!

I just started my sophomore year this summer semester. Between high school and college I took a year off (if anyone wants to know why I don't have a problem with sharing, but yeah) so I'm 20. After this year I'll be able to transfer from my small college with no greek life to a bigger university with strong greek involvement. Being in a sorority is something I've wanted since middle school. Now that I'm facing transfer application deadlines, this whole process has me kind of freaked.

When I transfer schools, I realize that it won't be easy no matter how I get involved. The thing that has been worrying me lately (and like I said, this will probably sound so stupid) is if my race will be an issue? My mom is black and my dad is white. The only people in my family that went greek are divine 9 (so on my mom's side) members. My dad's family all seem to think that being in a sorority would be stupid etc.

Since I'll be a transfer student, I really want my two years to count. I'm looking at Big 10 and Southern schools, and a few Cali ones as well. Panhels always seem to be so involved on campus, and that's really important to me! I want to have at least a few girls that feel like sisters/friends for life. And I want to be social!

Do any of you all think that me being two races is going to be a problem? I have friends of all races, and I swear this has never been something that's worried me until now. I'm really hoping the people in my family that are against me going through formal recruitment are just biased and uninformed. Other than being 21 when I go through the process, I'd like to think that everything else about me will be normal! My GPA should be between a 3.67-3.8 when I transfer, and I'm definitely not going to a school with a preference for one sorority over another or anything like that.

Wow, okay, if you read all of this then thanks!

Kayfaith, my mom is black and my dad is white and I'm planning to go through recruitment at a southern school as well. My mom is a member of a D9 sorority but really steered me toward NPC because of the hazing. Plus I like the fact that most of the panhellenic sororities have been around longer; so much tradition.

Like me, you probably learned to act one way around your white friends and family and another way around your black friends and family. We're chameleons, right? lol Depending on how I wear my makeup and hair and how I dress, I look like either a black girl without a decent bootie and good hair or a white girl with a dark tan so naturally I'll emphasize the latter aspect of how I look. I don't feel that I'm turning my back on my heritage because I'm 1/2 of each.

The bottom line is, if you feel comfortable with yourself the girls you meet during rush will pick up on that. So just be yourself, of whichever version of yourself you feel like being that day and have a good time :)

kayfaith- Your age and Junior status is more likely to be an issue at some of the types of schools you mention- not all of them, but at some of them. The Big 10, for example, varies a lot that way. It depends more on the school.

Interesting.

I see women of all shades, backgrounds and looks in my sorority magazine. Age may be a factor, race prob not, at least in most schools. So many people have a wonderfully diverse heritage today.

My exposure to GLOs is limited pretty much to schools in Ilinois and Missouri, so I'll speak to what I know. I can't imagine being biracial as a problem at any school here. All of the KD chapters I've been involved with or met have initiates who are not white.

And if it is a problem, you don't want to join those groups anyway. They're assholes and racists and don't deserve you.

That said, don't be surprised if some of your white chapter sisters are pretty sheltered about race. There was a ton of stuff that I didn't know when I was 18.

At the campus I attended and the larger school in my area, I don't believe race would be an issue. As AGDee already mentioned, your age might affect your invites. At my school, we always had some juniors go through. Like most other PNMs at my school, they usually got bids. At the other school, they take mostly freshman. I'd keep up with your grades, and use this year to get involved in service and leadership. Show that with your two years remaining you will be a member who brings a lot to the organization.

First point is interesting to me as well. I hope mom doesn't think that hazing happens less in one over the other (I have no evidence either way, but there are less NPHC orgs than NPC/IFC. Way less. A hazing story from a D9 org making national news will stick out more than another org. Some orgs have better PR is all I'm saying).

As for your second point, are you suggesting original poster present herself as more white than black at rush, re clothing/hair?

Because I was interested, fun fact: 21/26 NPC sororities were founded in the 1800s. However, seeing as 6/9 D9 orgs are 100+ years (I threw in PBS as they're approaching centennial), that's enough time to have rich history and traditions to rival (sorry, can't think of a better word) that of NPC.

I picked up on that, too. Every group in the D9 and NPC has a rich tradition and history. If you plan on sitting down and memorizing what happened every single year the organization has been in existence, some groups may have an edge, but there isn't a group around that doesn't have tradition and history.

Race will be more of an issue at some southern schools than others. There are young women of many different races at a few sororities in Auburn. Regardless, I would never recommend trying to "act more white" whatever that means. You want a place where you are accepted for who you are and where you feel comfortable being yourself.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply!

UVA17 - The D9 members in my family have told me to stay away because of hazing, too. D9 sororities and fraternities have such rich history as well. I just hate that they don't have formal or informal recruitment information avaliable. Were I to skip rushing for a Panhel in hopes of some type of NPC winter recruitment, I'd be really disappointed if it didn't work out. I guess when you think about it, some of the traditions aren't that different (stepping vs. skits?) and I definitely understand why D9s are historically important. I'm just drawn to the other more because I like being able to see exactly how involved they are on campus, exactly which philanthropies they represent, what the chapter GPAs is, etc.

I get what you mean about being a chameleon! For me that switch has always been around my latino friends vs everyone else, though. All of my black and white friends (especially the girls that were like sisters growing up) are basically the same in every way except for their opinion on Justin Bieber and One Direction.

Old_Row I'm assuming you go to 'Bama, and if so, I'm jealous. I actually posted this thread because of an article I read about a girl like me that rushed at your school. The last thing on my mind when it comes to getting involved with greek life is dating. However, if I found out that greeks didn't want me to date a white guy because "it didn't look right" I'm not sure if I could handle that. I have strict parents, and some of my older southern family is/was pretty set in their ways. None of them ever gave me a problem for dating a guy of a different race, though.

Katmandu and Missouri Ivy I'm a little worried about my age, but like I said in my first post, if people ask me why I'm a little older, sharing won't be a problem at all. Oh! From reading around, I've figured out how smart you GC users are. I've probably given enough away by now, but oh well. :) At my current school I hold office in a very time consuming and involved organization. Again, this is why I'm drawn to Panhels! Being a leader/involved is something I actually care a lot about. I just don't talk about what I do at school a lot because it feels arrogant and self-absorbed. Other people out there do much more amazing stuff than me.

tld221 It is the type of hazing that I've (personally) been warned against that has me kind of scared of D9. You're right about PR and connections, though. I guess physical violence isn't limited to one race over another. But I'm a kickboxer. Literally. If you hit me, I'm going to return the favor faster than someone can say "sisterhood". Fighting outside of the gym just feels classless and detrimental to my education/future on all levels though, which is why I want to avoid that situation entirely. I have never been in a physical altercation at school or anything like that, and that's something that shouldn't change!

KDCat thank you! You're sweet. Being sheltered isn't a problem for me at all. I've had a girl come up to me before at camp and ask me where I got my tan because she was sick of being orange. People have a heart attack when they see my hair after I go swimming/get caught in the rain/shower and don't blow dry it. And of course, I've seen people say things that were harmless but not in the best taste in general. The way I see it, we're humans, and we all make mistakes. I don't pretend to know everything! Before I was 18, for example, I didn't have any Muslim friends. Life is a learning process. I just hope I'm lucky enough to find a sorority that is open enough ask me anything they might be curious about, you know? I wouldn't want my future sisters to feel as if they have to change who they are around me.

Happy 4th, everyone! I hope you all have an amazing day :)

I think you're just not interested in NPHC sororities, and that's okay. But you can't really say you prefer one because they give you more information than the other.... that's kind of... I don't know, not really accurate. The information is there, it's just not presented in the same manner.

I think your families just tell you about the hazing because they know you wouldn't fit in an NPHC org -- and you know you wouldn't fit, either, and that's fine.

If you are actively trying to find a new university home, I think I'd get on the stick and do it as soon as possible. It's possible that you could get in to some schools already this fall, couldn't you? Transferring schools is fine if 1-you can't afford four years at the school you want or 2-you are somewhere and are really just not happy, but doing it as a plan doesn't seem like the best choice. Of course, you haven't said why after this year you will be able to transfer. Maybe it's a family issue?

As a Big 10 rep (Go Hawks!) I can't imagine being of mixed race would be an issue. Back in my day (a LONG time ago), we were excited to expand the gene pool, so to speak. Who wants 100 blonde friends?

DubaiSis it is a family issue, but also an issue of commitment. I have a potential externship as well as a job that I have to see through to the end. Also, I will have my Associate's degree when I transfer by sticking this year out. Since I'm so into OOS schools it'll make transferring in as a junior a lot easier. I agree with you though, I do need to pick my top 5 soon. I plan on applying by the end of the fall semester, so I should have time to use my resources for financial aid thoroughly before I make the switch. Thanks for replying! Your school seems fun. ;)

You're probably right about my family. I know that NPHC or not, greek organizations have that element of secrecy. I do not believe I'm entitled to excessive information. The five D9 members I know all seem so vague when I ask questions, though! It's not like I unleash my full petulant journalist potential on them either. My main question is always "how was your chapter involved in your campus?" or something about philanthropy, which I did not think was exclusive to one type of GLO.

Also the whole "they'll come to you" advice that I keep getting from family/ex-mentors is just, well, confusing. :o

NOT that this is any guarantee, but you might pay attention to schools where there will be a new colony next year. Juniors and seniors are wanted in new chapters to balance out the membership. They also want women with excellent leadership cred.
Now, not all schools who could be expanding in 14/15 have decided to do so (in fact most haven't) but there are some schools who seem more ripe for expansion than others.

I'm saying she should act whichever way makes her feel most comfortable among the people she's meeting.

As far as "acting black" or "acting white", it's not really acting at all if someone actually is black and white. Just call me pepe le peu :)

That sounds like a great suggestion, DubaiSis! One (big 10) school that I keep coming back to as I list and relist seems like it might fall in that category :) so yay, potential.

UVA17 :p "pepe le peu"

EDIT: Would a school that re/colonized the year before fall under this category too? Or would there be no need to possibly balance after one year?

I don't want to completely derail this thread, but you saying all of this:

.. makes it sound like she should "act more white" because the majority of NPC members are white. And what "acting white" or "acting black" means, I don't know.

She should just be herself. The end.

I couldn't say for sure, but I think that a very new chapter would be more open to older students than a very well established chapter would. Just to sort of put it in a nutshell, you don't want all of your members to graduate at the same time or you'll have trouble developing stability (socially and financially). So ideally, you'd pledge 25% freshmen, 25% sophomores, 25% juniors and 25% seniors. In reality it never happens this way. A colony would never announce their exact ratios (company secrets you might say), so it probably ends up 50% freshmen, 25% sophomores and 25% juniors and seniors, or maybe even more skewed than that. So if they colonized last year and you would have been a sophomore last year, you're in better shape than if you were a freshman last year. 2-3 years of treating a new chapter with kid gloves and lots of oversight is pretty common, especially for the very large chapters.

I think it's also fair to say that a colony puts even more emphasis on leadership than an established chapter because it's even more important to squeeze every bit of potential out of every last member. You can't coast or rest on your laurels until you have laurels to rest on.

Some NPHC members have the idea about NPHC membership this way: "If you're in, then you know. If you're not in, then you don't need to know."

NPHC orgs are involved in philanthropy - we just call it by a different name, community service. That is probably why you are getting this look :confused: from your NPHC family members. Ask them about their community service projects. Or, better yet, look up the community service projects of the D9 orgs on their international websites.

That's another philosophy behind D9 membership - if you want to be a member you will do your own research to gain knowledge, and not ask anyone questions you should be able to figure out on your own.

Back in the day, early 1960's, when my mom was an undergrad, the DST chapter on her campus (Texas Southern Univ.) would invite a young lady to membership by tapping her on the shoulder. Up until the early 1990's, a person could not become a member of a D9 org, or 'pledge', until their sophomore year in school. So that meant the D9 chapter had a year to 'check you out', so to speak. If they liked what they saw, you were extended an invitation to membership, if they did not like what they saw, then you never got the invite.

For the most part, the way D9 orgs handle membership today is there are about 2 -3 open invitation information sessions. There you will leave your contact information. If the chapter is truly interested in you, then you will be invited to a closed (invitation only) information session. If the interest is still mutual, then you will be given the specific information for membership. Usually, at this point you are given information about dues and MIP (membership intake process).

I think the big difference you see between NPC and NPHC is how we handle our recruitment process.

Great explanation!

Thanks so much for that explanation, DubaiSis. :)

sigmadiva I agree with Titchou, that was really informative, so thank you as well. I kind of want to -facepalm- after that. I literally research everything, so it was probably really obtuse of me to not realize that I could check the national org websites.

I <3 Soror sigmadiva! And Sen and ASTalumna06 for saying what I was thinking.

Kayfaith: I'm sure the overarching theme you're getting from all of us across the Greek spectrum is: do you, whatever color/age/class standing you are.

(The advice on looking at schools that are colonizing is an interesting tidbit. Not that your know when an NPHC chapter was chartering on a new campus, but I wonder if you g women transfer to schools hoping they'll be part of a chartering line.)

Chiming in to say that although I eventually decided to join an NPHC after college, I did consider joining an NPC during college (at a Big 10 school), and I had many friends of a range of races in NPC orgs while a student. So, I do have an inkling of your considerations. (I also am not biracial, but I was raised in a predominantly white atmosphere, so I know **exactly** what you mean with the acting white / acting black terminology, ungraceful though it may be. Sigh.)

Anyway, the point I wanted to emphasize is the one made upthread that if you are otherwise an excellent candidate, and yet your heritage -- or anything else about you -- is a problem, that means that organization is not your greek home. You don't WANT to be there if they don't want you there. Simple as that.

Whether you want to be there and whether they want you there is exactly what you'll discover while you're going through the process of choosing -- and being chosen by -- your organization. To me, deciding which org to join is not about NPC vs NPHC; after all, there are plenty of non-black members of NPHC orgs and there are plenty of non-white members of NPC orgs (and note that plenty of black people have no desire to be part of an NPHC, and plenty of white people have no desire to be part of an NPC). Instead, it's about finding the place where you really want to be, and that also really wants you to be there ... regardless of the makeup of the org OR your heritage.

Having both sides of that equation in balance is the most important factor.

Side note: Also, if I can give you a teeny piece of advice for life ... I really recommend avoiding starting sentences with "This may be a stupid question, but..." It ranks up there (down there?) with "No offense, but ..." and "Don't take this the wrong way, but..." Own your statement, or if it really IS offensive or stupid, rethink or rephrase it.

Received similar advice from a professor: never disclaim your words (in reference to your writing). If you're bold enough to write/type it, own it.

Definitely noted. Thank you.

The whole "be yourself" sentiment that everyone has offered so far is reassuring, too.