Is Colony Recruitment Worth It?
 

Deleted because school was figured out!

I don't know why a colony would be that much more expensive unless it is a situation like at Alabama or Arkansas in which the new group needs a house pretty much immediately, and if you're at a school that doesn't use recs a lot, that doesn't sound like the case.

But let me get this straight: if you join a Greek org, your parents will cut the amount they're giving you towards tuition, in other words punish you? I can understand saying "we won't pay for dues" but that is hella effed up.

I can only speak for my own small campus, where many moons ago, my suitemate and I rushed for the new colony being formed. It was a very exciting time to see the foundation being laid for this wonderful organization and the enthusiasm the recruitment team brought. I wound up taking a different path, but my friend became a charter member of the new Alpha Gamma Delta chapter. We had a great time comparing our new member periods, symbols, pins, etc... As far as cost, her dues were right in line with mine. Now, we had our housing in a university dormitory, which made sororities very affordable on our campus. If you're already paying your room and board, even if you have housing costs, a lot of members at the Big State U chapter up the road tell me it costs about the same as living in the dorm. Plus, they say the food is better.

Now, the second part of my post, because last time I took too long and I got logged off. My friend went back to our alma mater this spring for the 20th anniversary of their charter and first initiation. The pride she and her charter member sisters feel in the legacy they helped create was very easy to see on their faces in the pictures she showed me. The first composite still hangs in their chapter room, her name is there on the charter, those are some pretty awesome things to be a part of.

I'd do it. You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders, and if you don't check it out, you very well may spend the next few years wondering what if?

I served as the general advisor to a colony and they did not pay extra dues because they were a colony. They had to pay the same new member fee as any new member would, they paid an initiation fee just like new members at established chapters and of course, each new member(whether joining an established chapter or a colony) must purchase a badge. Being a colony member is a unique experience that few get to experience. Give it a shot!

Hate to be the dissenter here, but if your parents are cutting the purse strings and you're going to be at a financial disadvantage, I'd opt to take on a different activity and not have to work or be in debt, rather than join a sorority. Yes, Greek Life is a great experience, but not if it means your parents are cutting off support just yet.

Deleted because school was figured out.

Something to consider: for the vast majority of sorority women, their collegiate membership period is not just positive but really enhances their college experience. While your mother has a very negative opinion about sorority life, that may well change as she sees your leadership skills improve, your base of friends get larger and more diverse, your time management abilities get even better than they are now, etc. I of course can't tell you she'll come around, but she wouldn't be the first person to have her mind changed when reality confronts stereotype.

To answer your question about competitiveness, it can be VERY competitive to get into a colony. But in your favor, the sorority will want girls from all 4 years of undergrad, but most of the girls who express interest will be freshmen and sophomores. In other words, possibly less competitive for juniors and seniors.

Another thing in your favor is your campus involvement. If you've already demonstrated leadership and organizational abilities, that will make you an attractive candidate.

Like many of the other posts, I can't imagine the cost of a new colony being much more expensive. I know a young lady who was part of my sorority, Sigma Kappa's new colony at Mizzou, and has told me what an AMAZING experience it was.

I honestly think that if this is something that you really want to do, go for it. My wonderful experience in the Greek community changed me and made me who I am today, and I personally can't put a price on that. But in the same breath, I can't imagine the conflict with my parents. My family was very supportive of Greek life, as most of my family are also involved with Greek organizations.

I think if you are confortable with your decision to move forward with this colony, then go for it. Best of luck!

And even though upper classmen have a tougher rush experience, you might consider going through formal rush. 1-you might find a great match among the existing chapters and 2 (and more important in my thinking)-it will give you practice in the type of conversations you'll have during colony recruitment. The process is different, but a well-versed conversationalist is critical in both situations.

If you experience tough cuts during formal, you don't have to take it too personally and you can consider it well-earned experience. And if it goes great for you, then you don't have to wait and see if you would get accepted into a colony.

Perhaps you can convince your parents to read this:

http://www.sororityparents.com/

No one has mentioned this in all the discussions about money, but remember too that your sorority membership is for life. You will have sisters wherever you go and they can introduce you to a new city, new people, etc. if you move after graduation or even later on down the road. I loved my four years as a collegiate, but serving as a chapter advisor and getting together with my alumnae sisters (who all pledged at different universities, by the way) is even more fun! Go for it!

If you are an adult and paying for your sorority I don't understand why that would be your parents' business if you are keeping up with your grades and everything else.

It doesn't matter why. If they are going to punish her because of something bad she's doing (which is their perception), then the OP has to work within that construct. Is it wrong? Yes. But that's what she's got to work with so the best we can do is give her advice to deal with it.

On the one hand, it is not their business and she is an adult to live her life as she pleases. On the other, if someone is paying your tuition and living expenses, and they threaten to cut off part or all of it if you join a sorority, I'd think you should consider your options. Unfair? It's their money and no legal obligation to support their adult kid. I'm sorry that this will be an unpopular opinion, but I do think the tangible benefits of graduating debt-free in today's society outweigh the intangible benefits of Greek Life. If OP will only be slightly burdened by the lack of financial support and is ok with that, that's another story. If she feels her parents are oppressive, I'd still take their money and then deal with that issue after she graduates debt-free.

I know a girl who joined a colony last fall. It was her Senior year. Her parents were against it, even though her mother had been in a different GLO in college. She went through the interview process with some advice from her BFF's mom(me). She was chosen and thoroughly enjoyed her experience. Fast forward, she has graduated moved back to her home state, where she has gotten involved with her local Alumnae group and signed up to act as an advisor to a local chapter. It is for a lifetime!

Does your school allow you to miss class for recruitment? I know at Clemson if you miss a class for recruitment you are automatically released , so you have to discuss your schedule with your Pi Chis at the beginning of the week and get permission to arrive late or miss parties to accommodate classes. One of the girls I met in band had to do this to work around band rehearsals-she could only go to 10 of the twelve houses in the first round, but she ended up having a very successful recruitment nonetheless. Have you talked to the Office of Greek Life about working around your class?

The issue here has NOTHING to do with money or graduating debt-free. The issue here has to deal with overly controlling parents. "If you join and can't keep your grades up, you'll have to quit" - mean, but understandable. But flat out saying if you join this or that group, even if you pay for it all yourself and keep your grades up, you get less money? What's next? If you live in the coed dorm, we'll cut you off? If you don't get home on time for Thanksgiving break, we'll cut you off? "Assistance" with strings of this sort based on it has nothing to do with love for a child, it has to do with control.

Personally I think she should tell her parents to shove their money up their asses and emancipate herself, but that's easy for me to say.

Could not agree with you more. It's the lack of jobs out there and 5-6 figure debt that compels me to recommend students to suck it up until they graduate, and then do as they please. :( I paid my own way through (what was then a cheap) undergrad, and now that I'm saddled with insane grad school debt, I really think twice when students with a parent-paid ride want to bite the hand that feeds them. I think you're absolutely right, but if I had to do it over and had help, I'd gladly accept any restrictions on my social activities if it meant not having to live in this level of student debt.

I have, and unfortunately there isn't much they can do...they do not have those sanctions that Clemson has about missing a class for recruitment. Last fall I would of had to miss the first part of each day (other than weekends) which would not have been feasible, and this year I would have to miss basically all of pref night. It is unfortunate and I have stumbled upon Greek Life websites of other schools that have an extra day for students who are in the same boat as I am, but sadly my school does not offer anything like that. I am bummed, but I like to keep a positive attitude and think that everything happens for a reason. Colonization is rare at my school, so the fact that a chapter with a large national reputation is colonizing when I am ready for it seems like a great opportunity so I am definitely thankful for that.

You have a great and very responsible attitude. I'm sure you'll work it out.

So are you saying you'd be willing to give up your entire sorority experience if someone paid you enough? Whether that's accurate or not, I don't know, but I think it's really easy to say what you've said when you're already in a sorority.

To the OP - if you're willing to pay for it on your own, I say go for it. It doesn't sound as though your parents will stop talking to you entirely if you join, so what's the difference? If you understand that your path might be a little more difficult, and you know you can swing it on your own, and you truly feel that you want to be a part of Greek life, then you should try to be a part of Greek life.

Realistically, the issue has to do with all of the above.

I just meant that in the sense of this sounds like the tip of the iceberg with the parents saying "if you do ____ or don't do ______ we will withhold _____."

Best wishes to you. You seem like a very mature young woman.

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I joined a colony my junior year and it was a wonderful experience. It's a neat opportunity to mold the group and a good opportunity for instant leadership.

Can't wait to hear the rest. Good luck.

Get a good night's sleep. Things always seem more clear the next day.

The folks on the ground from "the colony" will be looking at the mix as well. Remember, they want to get off to a great start on your campus. I will also say that different types of women can be a great thing. You can't have all of xyz type or abc type and be successful. Balance is the key and the great thing is that the women invited to membership will create the future for the chapter as they work together.

You make it sound like there were a lot of girls there. Presuming there are enough girls in the pool that the colony can be pretty selective, cohesiveness will definitely play a role. Play along and when you get to the preference event, THEN look around. If you are still feeling like it's too disconnected, then maybe you should wait and see what they look like in a semester. But sororities don't have cookie cutters. The new chapter is NOT going to be 100 blonde, 5'6" ballet types. Or whatever image you have in your head of what a sorority girl looks like. The similarities will be in that the girls will all be driven, enthusiastic, leaders, that type of thing. The similarity won't necessarily be by appearance.

Good Morning All,

After having slept on it I feel a lot better. Chapters at my school are not Alabama sized, however they are significantly above 75. There are definitely more girls interested than will be selected. I am an extremely organized micromanager/scheduler so I think not seeing that cohesiveness right away just freaked me out, but after getting some rest my outlook is a lot more positive. Bid Day also freaked me out a bit- you have to go either way and will receive a bid card or a regret card. When I read things on here it seemed like if you weren't receiving a bid you would get a phone call before hand. However, I can't wait to see what the next week and a half will bring. Thank you all so much for all your help!

So no Bid Day for a week and a half?

I agree...this sounds awful. Are you sure you're interpreting this correctly? I can't imagine everyone congregating together, and then either getting a "go home now" card or a "join the party!" card.

When we picked up bid cards for the colony I joined, we went to the Greek Life office to get them - they were sealed in envelopes. We were asked to open them outside the office (I mean, you could take it home to open, open in your car, whatever...just not IN the office). This was between 9 AM and 11 AM. Bid day started at 3 PM. If you got a bid, you were given instructions on where to go for the celebrations.

What??? This sounds so cruel.

I was going to come explain how it was going to work but WhiteDaisy128 did it for me, that is exactly what they said is going to happen (other than very slight time shifts). I am super involved on campus and have been through selections similar to this before for other things and I never really liked that selection method...I have always found it to be super stressful and upsetting if things didn't work out. There isn't much I can do to change it so I'll just have to go with the flow. And yes, no bid day for a week and a half. We won't really have a pref night which I am a little sad about...we had a party yesterday and we have another party next week (which is optional if you attended the one yesterday, I am still definitely going to go) but that is all.

Remember that 1) there is no limit on who can go to the colony recruitment (as far as I know there were no entry fees to rush, no pre-party sign ups, no grade checks) and 2) they do not have a full Panhellenic to help them make phone calls.

As far as logical ways to do it, this sounds a heck of a lot less cruel than "running" to groups or Bid Day held as spectacle for the entire campus to see and critique. Take the card, take a nice clearing walk to wherever your happy place is, and open it. Sounds fair to me.

Wait, wait, I thought it was assumed that if you didn't get an invitation to the preference event, you were not going to receive a bid. So I read this as women going to preference, and THEN having to get a "yes envelope" or a "no envelope". Is that not the case?

When we have a colony, we do hold a pref night. Not your typical pref party where girls are crying and the members write you letters, but it is a serious ceremony that they ask the PNMs to dress up. That way the PNMs get an idea of who might be one of their sisters.