18 Clues to Calling It a Night
 

I know this post may be a bit tasteless, but it was an e-mail forward I got from a sister. It in no way should be taken as a reflection of greek life. I hope this post in no way causes us to back track in our fight for greek justice. This should only serve as a bit of humor to all those girls who have had "one of those nights." Guys, you are welcome to post your own version. ;) Take it lightly and laugh on....

>18 CLUES TO CALLING IT A NIGHT
>YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN ...
>
>1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
>2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room.
>3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.
>4. In your last trip to pee you realize you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.
>5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.
>6. You start crying for no apparent reason.
>7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
>8. You've found a deeper side to the four-eyed nerd that lives next door.
>9. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.
>10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
>11. You've forgotten where you live.
>12. You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned like 10x's by now) you only smoke when you drink.
>13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.
>14. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.
>15. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."
>16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.
>17. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
>18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).

LMFAO! :D :D :D

I've been known to do #7 and #16 a lot. I'm usually scheduled to work at 8AM Thursday mornings...yet I don't leave HRC until almost 3 or 4!!!

As for #3--about wanting to kick someone's ass--well, we've all had our share of "club molestors"...ya know, the jerks who randomly grab your butts as they're making their way through the club? Well, one night a big 200 lb. SAMOAN guy did that to me, I bitched at him and asked "Excuse me, a**hole, do I know you?" He says no...and I continue..."Then why the f are you touching my ass?". I then proceed to take off my shoes and jewelry and I start calling him out. The bouncer guy apparently thinks this is hilarious and he doesn't do anything for a while, but when it looked like I was ready to throw down he told the Samoan guy to hurry up and leave.

I know I'm going to have to add on to this list!

Yeah, little me has thought I could beat up a 200 pound guy when I was drunk. A whole verbal argument escalated until a guy that I went to the club with grabbed me by the waist and dragged me off the dance floor.
But, #4, that is something I have done a few times. And, I was never one to pull a #6. I always laughed at girls who did that. But, a few months back, there was this girl at a party I went to at my boyfriend's fraternity house who has a HUGE crush on my boyfriend. The whole night she was trying to hang off of him. She even went as far as to bend over right in front of him (I was standing at his side) and she turns around and asks him, "Oh, was my thong sticking out?" UGH! I was like, "Oh...that was classy." A few hours later she was puking in the bathroom. I couldn't find my boyfriend anywhere. All the sudden, I broke down into tears. I kept saying to one of my sisters who was with me, "He's with her! He's rubbing her back as she barfs and he's telling her that he loves her!" My sis went to go find him. He happened to be in the chapter room talking with one of the pledges. I felt like such an idiot when he came and sat down next to me and I had to explain to him why there was mascara running down my face and my eyes were bright red. It was then that we decided it was time to go home.

That was hilarious!

#1 and #13 (although never to the bartender, just to my friends) sound a little too familiar for comfort!!!:D

Maybe a 19th?

19. You decide to call your ex boyfriend to "see what he's up to" and tell him where you are. Who cares if he's gone home to his parent's place for the weekend...it's only 2:07 AM!

:rolleyes: Ahhh...drunk dials.

too funny!
 

I think we've all had a few too many of "those" kind of nights.

But one story reminded me of the time we all went out for a sister's birthday and my lil sister decided she could physically lift my 6'8", 350 pound offensive line size boyfriend. She and him ended up falling on the nasty floor. I was too busy laughing and trying to help her up to realize everyone in the bar had witnessed it! We left not long after that lovely display of drunk fun.

Ok, enough stories, just wanted to add something. :)

Tara

I am famous for this. The clubs here close at 4 in the morning... but I've been known to go through my phone book and call my random male friends to come and get breakfast with me.

Many of them know that they should turn their phones off on the weekends to avoid getting a random phone call from me. They're smart.

20. You've fallen asleep in someone else's bathroom. With the door locked.

I'm famous for doing that at my boyfriend's place. Thankfully, the lock on the door is pickable, so he can get me out of there.

Once, after a particularly strong round of daquiris (bacardi 151 = BAD), I was so sick, he had to keep me from putting my head down ON the potty.

I'm also a singer. When my guy has a get-together at his place, it always turns into Karaoke. And I always am convinced I AM Britney Spears. Thankfully, I'm not the only girl there that gets that way :)

Hahaha! Oh reminds me of a night of classy Merlot sipping ... classy and peaceful until a girlfriend called me out to a girls night of drunken rowdiness. After a few shots of vodka and maybe a few too many shooters my ex turns up at her house with a bunch of his fraternity brothers. Well...as my life is the epitome of Murphy's law...I got horridly ill (a rarity), and end up sitting at the toilet. Somehow I had commanded one of his bros who was attempting to help me out to go get him. He shows up at the doorway and I have a change of heart and tell him to go away (Terrible break up). He stands firm and decides to ream me out. I decided I was tired of listening to him so I stuck my head INSIDE the toilet bowl and closed the lid! Of course I was not aware of this until my friend told me this the next morning. Most ludicrous night of liquor in my life and one I will never repeat!

21. You are professing your undying love for everyone. Including your entire GLO. to quote my big bro when he was drunk "I joined the best f*ing fraternity EVER! We are the sh*t!"

All other conversations go as follows:

You: I just wanted you to know that you're my dawg, and I love you.
Your semi sober friend: Yes, I know
You: No no no, I mean i REALLY love you
Friend: Yes, I know
You: You're not getting this here, I mean i really REALLY love you.

Im a 7, 10, 16, 18 and 21....go figure.

I should have know that this list would be funny as soon as I read #1. I take of my shoes and never find them every now and then. I still have reminders of halloween on the bottom of my feet. I thought it was a good idea to walk everywhere on campus barefoot. Of course I was feeling no pain that night, but the next day I was like "why the f do my feet hurt so bad?"
Whatever the next number is could be "You can't be the dealer in F@ck the dealer because you don't know what's higher or lower anymore." I still get crap about knowing my numbers because of one stinkin night.
H

No no NOOO!

Scratch #19, this will piss off ANY guy to the point that if you were cool before, you now won't be. Guys HATE indecisive women. We are either together OR not, don't bring us into your drunkass/emotionally stupid world after we've broken up.

Not that I'm bitter mind you, but I've experienced this, SERIOUSLY pissed me off. I WANT TO SLEEP DAMN YOU!

actually, if you pretty much call anyone with that mess, they'll be pissed.

One of my "friends" decided to call me at school my freshman year, at 3:45am on a Friday drunk off her a$$. Taking me to the bathroom and everything with. I wasnrt happy at all, even though it wqas a lil funny. She's lucky it was our sprinf break and my roomate went home for the week or else all hell would have broke lose in my room.

I am soo known for the only smoking when Im drunk routine..b/c seriously I only smoke when I drink and I never have a lighter so I am bugging the crap out of everyone all night long!! I also have this weird urge to have long intimate conversations with people when Im a lil drunk....like people Im dating...not that I remember everything the next day!! I also call people all thru the night..."what youre sleeping???...Its only 4:30 am!!" LoL

Nichole

Boy does that sound familiar :) especially # 1,4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 15, 18 ... uh oh that's way too many numbers ;)

Maybe I ought to start drinking.

>10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.


uh-oh. been there. done that, had friends simultaneously trying to catch my clothing, and pull me down off the table/bar etc! ha ha ha I think this is the #1 reason I can always get into the Skybar, even on nights they are enforcing their "list" ha ha

And 19-drunk dialing. Oh boy. I am reformed though. Or maybe its just that there's no one I currently feel like calling in the middle of the night.

22. You pass out in the hallway because your bed is just too far away...requiring roommate/friends sleeping over to step OVER you to get to the bathroom...

Let's see....drunk dials, definitely done a few of those. Over Thanksgiving break, I decided to call half of the people from school in my phone book - not realizing that it was about 3 in the morning - luckily I'm in the Northeast, so the time difference saved me with some people. As far as the drunk smoking goes - it happens, and I look like a weirdo with a cigarette, so who knows why I even do that.

A note on drunk dials (and I told this in another forum I think). Last New Year's eve I was over my cousin's house, and someone called at just after midnight. I meant to drunk dial one of my friends at school, but I hit the wrong speed dial for it. When someone picked up the phone, I said "Hey, Happy New Year, I'm Drunk!!!" At which point the voice on the other line says "Collin, is that you?" IT WAS MY MOM. At which point I knew I was in trouble.

I don't have my home phone on speed dial anymore.

Collin

My roommate is notorious for "drunk dials"

My roommate also does this...
23. After all your friends cut you off, you have to act like it's mission impossible and sneak into the kitchen to down a few more shots.

Haha this is great! I'm definately a 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 10, 11, 13, 17, 18, 19 (I'm a pro at drunk dialing!), and 21!
Of course this only happens when I go home to Halifax (damn, the bars are great there!) and get together with my girls! Sarah knows (Lots-a-heart....I don't think she comes here as much lately....busy with school and stuff) we've had some great nights downtown!:)
Love the list y'all!:D:D

Drunk Dials . . . KSigKid is a champ, but I've been known to utilize the double d to its fullest. Sometimes good, somtimes BAD.

Anyway - some more:

-Booty Call . . . over the IMer. Now, the booty call can be decidedly iffy - but if you've ever received one over IMer, you know that's the worst. Or best. Whatever.

-the amazing 'disappearing' act . . . we've all done this - just bouncing out for a minute, only to leave completely for Redneck's at 1:30, leaving all your buddies only conjecture as to your whereabouts.

-the infamous "4am Chapter" - whence the girls leave, and it's only the guys sitting around at the wee hours of the morning . . . and of course, this is the time we all decide to solve all the problems of the world (or maybe just the chapter), one at a time, over whiskey. Sure, that makes sense - guys i got this great rush idea, if only i could remember . . .

-and of course the Pancakes, the CT "huskys", the IAIs, animal cubs and all the rest . . .

I'll add one-

When you think the waiters are soooo cute, you ask their age-name and future plans with your DAUGHTER in mind! lol

I'm famous for 22. I remember one time passing out and waking up in my brothers lap. Boy, that was one heck of a night.

Yeah, I was famous for drunk dials.

One night comes to mind where I did an insane amt of yagermeister. Well, we went out this club called the cellar. Not sure if its still going in DC but I remember when we first got there I was checking out these girls that were dancing on these blocks. I remember one girl was looking really good and then the rest was history. A few of my brothers said they saw a girl dancing with me and trying to hold me up and then before we left I had a senseless arguement with some wacko girl. We got outside the bar when it closed and lucky me the psycho girl had two psycho guy friends that popped me. I turned around and thought about it and said to myself what a waist of energy(I did nothing). Lucky me when I turned around there were cops standing right there so we just split and called it the night. Just one of my famous helmeting(beta slang for serious jock) nights. After that night I decided to ban myself from yager.

Just A Mom, I had that happen to me a lot when I waited at Ruby Tuesdays. lol Actually it happened more so at the crab house I worked at one summer.

Okay, you guys just described my Friday night perfectly--I drank to much, danced like crazy, called a million people, and disapeared. But the good news is I finally had the guts to talk to the CUTIE I had been eyeing FOREVER and I got kisses from him!! YAY DRUNKEN COURAGE!

:D sounds like a memorable night ... any potential with this CUTIE?? keep us posted! ;) ...

Happy New Years everyone!!

- Jen

PS - oh yeah .... umm, 3,4, 6,7, 10, 11, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 - albeit most of these happened YEARS ago now! ... enough said for now ... perhaps some memorable stories to come later! ;)

I'm famous for #15. I also say things like "I'll apologize now for whatever I'm saying. I'm just a little drunk" which of course gets more slurred as the evening progresses.

3... When I am seriously drunk, I seem to always be convinced that my little self can kick anyone's ass. One night at a bar, my friends and I started getting into a verbal argument with some guy who was harrassing us, so he tells the bartenders they should kick US out. The funny part was, they kicked HIM out.

4... Happens to me like EVERY time I drink, which usually leads to me asking everyone, "Do I look okay???"

6... This has only happened to me once... and that was after I had been violently ill :(

10... I've been known to think I was Britney or J-Lo... lol.

12... Why do I always get the urge to smoke when I'm drunk? I KNOW it makes me sick, so why do I insist on doing it?

I've done the drunk dialing too... but luckily only to my boyfriend who was also out for the evening.

Yep, I always wanna fight some girl, tell my girlfriends-and anyone else within ear-shot-that I love them, and drunk dial all my ex's and end up asleep in the bathroom. I ALWAYS end up asleep in the bathroom, usually in front of the door so nobody can get in. At least it's always MY bathroom I am in.

yeah the courage thing is majorly me....I can tell anyone anything when Im drunk!!! :) which can be a bad thing and a good thing at times....lol I once told my good friend that i hated the way she did her makeup and stuff..whoops!! I mean I didnt but I really didnt need to tell her that!!

Nichole

Re: 18 Clues to Calling It a Night
 

My friend sent me that original list plus:

You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want to. :p

Re: 18 Clues to Calling It a Night
 

#5http://www.plauder-smilies.de/lach.gif

#6--Funny, I always thought that was PMS! :p

Re: 18 Clues to Calling It a Night
 

I went to a house party last weekend and everyone had to take their shoes off in the garage prior to entering the house. You can imagine that there were tons and tons of shoes all around the garage. Come 3:00 a.m., everyone was having trouble finding their shoes. Some people had forgotten where the heck they had put their shoes. Also, people had picked up shoes and put them on the other side as to make a rather tipsy person go crazy looking for their shoes. Others decided to take an extra pair home. Luckily I found my shoes undisturbed.

I have been guilty of #s 3, 4, 7 and 18.

Cream, I gotta tell ya, I have gone "standing up" on a few occasions. When you gotta go, you gotta go, especially when there is a looooong line. What's the big deal? :p

i had one friend that was particularly fond of saying (in a very drunken stupor, while standing on one foot and holding both of her hands up):

(a-hem) "I am a poinonous tree frog. I secrete poisonous fluids and will kill you all. " That was always fun... Or when she'd insist on singing the greek alphabet... She'd get to like Delta and all of a sudden would slur into something like "Alpha Beta Gamma Delta, epsilooooooooooooo woooo wooo, shoo pop, yea yea, do wop, a be bop..a playa hata ya ya ya" LOL That was always something to behold also...

#20-something: Kissing!!! I don't mean making out with everyone you come across, but I have a kissing complex when I'm.. Um...not right :D Hugs and kisses all around!!!

Re: 18 Clues to Calling It a Night
 

3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.

Oh yeah!! LOL!!! WOW! This is SO me. I get REALLY confrontational when I am drunk, lol. You know when you are in the club and it's packed...and really people can't help but bump you when they walk by. Well when I am drunk, I take it VERY personally if so much as the tip of an elbow comes in contact with any part of my body. "HEY! YOU DON'T KNOW ME LIKE THAT! I WILL PEG YO' ARSE WITH A PENNY IF YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN!"

16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.

Now this happens when I get HOME. And, this sucks the WORST!! Whose freakin' idea was it to put the toilet deat down on THIS night?? It is never down any other night!! LOL!

18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).

Of course! It's THERE isn't it?? I have never sat on the floor at the club, lol, but the floor at home looks oh so comfy when I get back.

:D

Re: 18 Clues to Calling It a Night
 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by pbpck [QUOTE]

3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.

Oh boy...that one happened to me freshman year. Some drunk little hoochie at this party accidentally spilled her drink on me and didn't apologize. Instead of brushing it off, WHY did I have to take her on? I was doing sly things all of a sudden, like acting like I accidentally bumped into her and just happened to spill my punch on her bad dye job. The fights have happened to, but we're not going to go there.

4. In your last trip to pee you realize you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.

No comment...this has happened one time waaaaaaaaaay too many.

8. You've found a deeper side to the four-eyed nerd that lives next door.

This actually happened last weekend. I was at a friend's party, and had 4 Red Stripes in an hour. I was talking with him about stuff (I honestly think we discussed math) and he started caressing my arm in this totally creeped-out way. It didn't bother me at first, until he really started trying to make his move. Ewww...

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.

Can we say, pictures? :eek:

12. You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned like 10x's by now) you only smoke when you drink.

Not only do I do this, but my junior-year suitemate, who I love with all of my heart, did this EVERY weekend last year! It was a hoot.

18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).
Yeah, or lay on the tile floors, which are always soooooo cold!

When I feel like I'm being a jack ass I go home. I don't want that reputation. Usually I'll call it a night when the window seems like a better than the door because its closer. Or if the dirty spot on the steps looks inviting.

I'm a NOTORIOUSLY friendly drunk. I love EVERYONE. Like you said, it's hugs and kisses ALL around. :) I'm also a drunken lap-sitter. Anyone's fair game.

how about:

#21: Slurring, you cut off everyone in the room right before you trip and spill your drink all over yourself. And half the people in the room. :)

#22: You decide to take that ottoman of yours for a ride down the hall and completely wipe out but get right back up and do it again.

#23: You start playing "I never."

There are also 5 stages of "I never" that I've noticed. Correct me if I'm wrong, but:

1) Innocent questions, ie. "I've never gone skiing."

2) Not-so-innocent questions, ie. "I've never done it in public."

3) Screw-your-neighbor questions, ie. "I've never done it in public with that guy in 304 next to the fountain while my professor was watching, (insert friend's name here)!!" You can also point at your friend, who is now giving you an evil look, just in case anyone else missed the reference.

4) Sharing questions, ie. "I never made out with my boss's 43 year old brother on his desk while talking to my mom on speakerphone." You're the only one drinking, and this can occur whether it's your turn or not.

5) The utmost level of "I never" drunkenness or the, "I really didn't do all that stuff I said I did last night, but I was so drunk, I didn't know what you were saying but I still wanted to play so I just kept drinking" stage.

Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything... :cool:

Whoo. I SO needed some clues to calling it a night last night after we lost, lol.

lol:p