Was attending Alabama Preview weekend crucial?
 

I am writing a recommendation for a lovely out of state young lady attending Alabama. She competes at a high level in her sport and one of the prequalification rounds for state finals was the same weekend of Preview.

She was very concerned about missing Preview weekend after she realized how many did attend. I didn't think she should be as she has the grades, activities, looks, personality that will present well in recruitment as well as recommendations. However I later saw where at least 2/3s of the future PNMs DID attend the event. So the sororities have already met 2/3s of the PNMs before the Ice Water Round?

I searched through the threads and couldn't find any reference to what impact attending this event had on a PNM's success in recruitment.

Any feedback on how important this event is for a PNM's rush?

It's pretty important there. They also have parties in the weeks after Preview Weekend and they use the info from Preview to decide who to invite. So she's missed out on a lot. But, that being said, it's not a death knell. You might include that info on your rec and tell her to mention it - if the opportunity arises - during recruitment. "Soooo sorry I couldn't come for preview but I was placing 2nd in skeet shooting for the 18 and older NRA national competition" - or whatever the event was.

Titchou, haven't they cut out a lot of the other spring parties? I know that parties were allowed in various cities during winter break, but I thought that new rules this year eliminated the multiple spring weekends to Preview weekend and maybe one other?

They could have one invitation party after Preview on campus (each group but they didn't have to be the same weekend as others) The city based ones were over after winter break.

Thank you for the advice.

The thought of her skeet shooting was funny. I guess that would be a way to appear unique during recruitment.

I don't think it is crucial -- she sounds like she will be fine. I would imagine that in general OOS PNMs have a more difficult time attending Preview Weekend and subsequent parties than those who live in closer proximity -- and all chapters at Bama pledge an impressive percentage of OOS girls (in some the vast majority are OOS).

It might be a good idea to include a personal letter with your rec mentioning that she was unable to attend that weekend due to her competition obligation -- this will help highlight that she competes at a high level and excells at her sport, which may help her stand out.

I am out of the loop as far as how much of a disadvantage this will prove to be as I attended Alabama in the late 80's, early 90's. However, I think Hartofsec made an excellent suggestion of including a personal letter with your rec...sounds clever & effective!

I am not trying to hijack this thread but have a strange observation. In looking at bid lists & girls who have pledged at Alabama, particularly over the last 2 or 3 years, I've noticed an odd "trend" for lack of a better word & was wondering if you guys found this strange as well. I've noticed several girls, at least 6, who pledged a certain sorority, who all happened to be pledging a house that they were not a legacy to.

In most circumstances, these girls were not just breaking away from what their mom & aunt might have joined. These are girls who went against generations of tradition & many had cousins or sisters who had just graduated. No judgement here! Here's the weird part to me: On Bid Day, Parent's Weekend, etc, there are pics of these girls with their mothers who are wearing pins with the daughters sorority. I think it's cute to wear a pin in support to a football game with the family when everyone is sporting such a pin. However, I find it very strange to see PattyX, who was a "Chi O till I die O", sporting a let's say Kappa pin proudly...just an example. I guess I find it so odd because PattyX is very involved, or was until her daughter pledged another house, in getting girls from her hometown to pledge her original sorority. I have seen pins on Bid Day that moms wear saying "Chi O Parent" & something like that seems much more appropriate to me. Is it just me? I think PattyX looks crazy & you will not convince me it is in support of her daughter...I truly belive some of these mommas think they've gone to "New sorority heaven" & have been re-incarnated!!!!

I doubt seriously that they are wearing the other group's actual badge. Perhaps a Mother's Pin? I don't have a problem with that at all.

I think she's referring to the XYZ supports the Tide buttons worn on game days.

Really? She feels that's odd? Hmmmm.....

Perhaps the legacy chapter, or the legacy, felt that she would shine more brightly somewhere else, and Mom is showing support for her daughter. Perhaps Mom truly meant it when she told daughter that she should go where her heart leads and is happy that daughter did. Or perhaps Mom is upset with the legacy chapter for not extending a bid to the legacy and has vowed that while daughter is in college, Mom will support daughter's chapter.

I've seen more than one mom, and dad, and brother, and boyfriend, wearing two or even three buttons (actually they're stickers). Mom has two daughters in different sororities, or her sorority and daughter's, brothers with sisters in different sororities, boyfriends with a sister in a different sorority.

Not unusual at all.
You need to come back for a football game! (Or women's softball, gymnastics event, golf, etc.)

The XYZ supports our thingamajigs button and sticker are popular at many SEC schools.

A parent who supports her daughter in what the daughter wants to do and enjoys, even if it wasn't what the parent wanted? OMG WHAT ARE THEY THINKING.

Does this sound to anyone else like the part in the insane sorority girl email where she was yelling at her sisters for cheering for the other team?

I'm assuming these are the "pins" (more correctly called buttons) that she means:
http://www.greekgear.com/ilomibu.html

Those are similar(but usually not in mini size)....or it might say "ABC loves the Tide" or "ABC says Go Bama" or the like.

Just saying....I always wear a DG button....."says Roll Tide"..."Proud DG Mom" to the football games...I never thought a thing about it. The girls sell them at the house before the games.

Mary Poppins is correct. Referring to the buttons which say XYZ supports the Tide...Don't give that a second thought! I'm referring to the same round type pins that just say the sorority's greek letters while attending a formal function at Parent's Weekend. Just weird to see I guess when the whole world knows you were not an XYZ!!! And fyi...At least in all of the cases I'm referring to, the girls snubbed the legacy house, & most with their mother's encouragement so I don;t believe momma is wearing her proud new greek letters to show support to her daughter. I just think it makes mom look silly...like she wants an "upgrade" in her mind or a re-do! Just wondered if anyone else thinks this looks ridiculous :)

I still think you are off base. It's PARENTS weekend. Why wouldn't they wear one if all the other parents are? They should not just because they belong to a different group? Hey, I've worn another group's pin when they were colonizing at my campus. I don't see a darned thing wrong with it. In fact, I think it shows a great deal of PH spirit.

Doesn't sound weird, silly or ridiculous to me at all... and I really wonder why you are assuming all this back story when moms wear the buttons. You have no idea what is going on with these moms, so why invent all this drama?

I honestly think you are the one sounding ridiculous, like you are trying to still put some girl back in her place 30 years later. All I see is a momma who supports her daughter and her sisters!

My husband and I also wore Chi O badges at the girls' football games and other events. Dr. ZTA was not greek and I am a ZTA (obviously). I also never thought one thing about it. The girls were so happy at their house and I was there as a Parent to support the girls and their sorority. From what I understand, and my girls preffed ZTA, which is also a top house at their school. I advised them to follow their hearts during rush.
Different school...same area of the country.

I think the OP just hasn't gotten it yet about the (virtually forced) diminishment of legacy status. The fact is there are PLENTY of girls who are saying legacy or bust, and that hurts more girls than it helps. I applaud the parent who was a Chi O til I Die sort who is willing to let it go about her daughter's affiliation. And hopefully she's showing some other Chi O (not to beat up on Chi O's, just following the original example) Mom's to chill about her daughter's rush preferences and outcome.

If a girl is told over and over that she needs to keep an open mind about every chapter, so she actually goes in with an open mind and loves another (or 2 or 3) chapters, then everyone should be happy that she went with her heart, even if her legacy chapter was an option. And that includes Mom.

Hello Ladies!
My apologies for sounding crazy... I have no problem at all with girls pledging where their heart leads them. I'm afraid too many just go with their friends to be popular & certainly encourage any young lady I write a rec for to do what she wants & what will make her most happy :) And 33 girl is correct...should have referred to them as buttons. Pins sounds like I was referring to their sorority crest or emblem they wear after initiation...oops :(

I have seen multiple pics of one mom in particular wearing a XYZ button while strolling around campus in front of fraternity houses, to visiting in her child's apartment, to a formal function that appeared to be a Paren't Weekend type event, although none of the other parents were wearing them. I just found it very odd but am glad to be set straight!

As far as knowledge of background stories, it's not hard at all to know. The girls rushing now are daughters of cousins, friends, & girls who rushed me. They have aunts who went through rush & pledged after I did. The cousins, friends, & friends of the mother all chit chat so it's not difficult to know which sororities Suzy & her group of friends are genuinely interested in by the time she starts rush.

Sorry if I came across as some old school toot who thinks it's tacky to not join the sorority your grandmother, aunts, & sisters belong to...that's not my way of thinking at all. Guess it's just hard to explain without giving back story & giving too much away. I apologize if I offended anyone.

I think the trend of wearing a button for your daughter is pretty neat, really. I have seen many pouty, disappointed moms behaving badly at Bid Day when their daughters chose another house besides their legacy house. Oh the stories I could tell you!

A visible show of support is nice!

I will say, however, that it sounds like the mother you are referring to appears to be broadcasting that her daughter traded "up" and that the mom seems to be turning her back on her own house. At least that is what I inferred from a few of your statements.

I'm going to say this, and then I'll shut up. I love ZTA very much. If my daughter had pledged ZTA, I would have been very happy. She, instead, pledged an organization that she loves like I love ZTA. I have come to love DG as well because my daughter loves it. If this nauseating love-fest makes us "tacky," then so be it. Sometimes the legacy house just doesn't fit the legacy. There is not one thing wrong with that.
Besides, at Alabama, you can't throw a rock without hitting a legacy.

Gee ess...you hit the nail on the head! And ZTAme, I certainly do not think there is anything tacky about being a proud member of ZTA or any other sorority as well as a staunch supporter & proud of your daughter's house. What I did a terrible job communicating is my sense of frustration or sadness lies not with these girls who end up pledging what's in their heart but with a very few of these mommas.

I have noticed one sorority in particular at Alabama, especially in the last 2 to 3 years, pledging a few girls in each pledge class whose mommas would be disappointed at the very least if their child pledged their legacy house. These are ladies who were beyond involved in rushing hometown girls to join the house they belonged to while at Alabama while their young legacy is a child years away from college. Then, when it's time for their legacy to go through rush they not only encourage a "trade up" but would be offended if their child were cut by what they deem as that trade up.

It's happening more & more. A cousin of mine, whose daughter just pledged this particular sorority last year, along with 16 or more girls from my cousin's hometown, was informing me of 3 of her daughter's pledge sisters all being legacies to houses other than the one they accepted their bid from last August. These moms were determined Suzy Q would be an XYZ with my cousin's child. After already seeing pics of one mom in particular every chance she gets with her button this other news just kinda flew all over me. I guess I feel sorry for the pledge sisters of these mommas. I think the girls are pretty savvy when it comes to realizing if they have a chance with certain legacies or if a certain rushee is only looking for a trade up.

But imagine all the pledge sisters who see pic after pic of their friend thinking she's died & gone to XYZ heaven with her daughter!! I don't mean the people who you've lost touch with who might stumble across a pic & remember you. I mean people who are in your community & that you see at functions...be it Junior League, etc, & they know how active you were in recruiting girls from your area until your own child hits the high school years & then things change.

I just think it seems thoughtless to outwardly show how proud you are of your trade up & a little more sensitivity, verbal & otherwise, would be a classier way to go :) Sorry if this seems confusing. The initial lady i was referrring to has a "trade up" in real life to as far as marriage & her back story would make a great read!!!

As a Greek woman in general and an Alabama grad in particular, I am offended by your characaterization of someone "trading up" in GLOs. How offensive to the other groups! You really aren't being Panhellenic here and I'm surprised certain people haven't already called you out for it. Sorry, but the reasons someone pledges AAA over ZZZ is going to be - in my mind - because she's happier in that group, not because it has more cachet than her legacy chapter. Same for those mamas if they are puffing their chests at home over the daughter's choice of another group. Shame on all of you.

Actually, I think a lack of judgmentalism on your part would be a classier way to go.

Oh come on - of course we are all very Panhellenic minded and supportive of all groups. But, we have discussed TO DEATH on this site the whole tiers/perceived tiers issue in SEC recruitment. It is a fact. This mom is just verbalizing what she is seeing, and you all know that she is probably telling it accurately.

Yes, let's do all we can to support all groups on campus. That is, in fact, what the OP is saying. These women were extremely supportive of their own houses UNTIL one of their daughters joined another (perceived) more desirable (stronger) house. Now it seems to close friends and pledge sisters that these moms no longer identify with their own houses and (read between the lines!) one of these moms is acting very 'new money/moved from the wrong side of the tracks/acts like her stuff doesn't stink, etc' and it is irritating.

OP - I get it. Just smile and wear your own pin/button proudly. :)

I know what you mean here.
The woman who was homecoming queen in our senior class once claimed she had no memory of being homecoming queen, and was also telling people she was 2 years younger than she really was.
This woman had always lived in this town...never even went off to college, never lived anywhere else, everybody knows her parents, siblings, ex-husband, current husband, and children.

People are crazy.

Best advice I've heard Gee ess...wearing your own pin/bitton & smiling proudly :) We should all be proud & it is pretty cool to think through all the turns & changes our times & the decades seem to bring, some things can be counted on to continue & remain strong as ever.
Anchor Alumna...you're so right...people are crazy & seem to be getting crazier!!!

I think you care way too much about what someone else is doing.

Amen!