Am I setting myself up for disappointment? / Florida State
 

Hey guys. I'm currently a freshman at Florida State and am hoping to rush this upcoming fall.
I wanted to rush this fall, but ultimately just wasn't ready to go through with the process.
For the past couple of years I've suffered from some serious anxiety issues, so rushing just wasn't a realistic option for me.
This past year I've gone to counselling to try and overcome all these anxiety issues, and I feel like I've imporved a ton, so now I feel like I'm ready to go ahead and partipctae in rush!
The problem is that I'll be rushing as a sophomore, so I already feel at a disadvantage.
But my main issue is the effects of the anxiety I've dealt with as a freshman. I've practically kept to myself most of the year, so my campus involvement/volunteering/Greek connections are practically nonexistent.
I'm a naturally shy girl, so this all worries me.
I don't plan on going into recruitment and making any mention of this (anxiety) in order to explain why I don't have those, so I feel like girls will just look at my application and automatically reject me.
I've kept a high GPA, but that's all that I've really got going for me when it comes to school related things.

Honestly, do you guys suggest I should go ahead and rush? It's something I've wanted to do since last summer, and I honestly would feel so bad if I didn't try this year. But at the same time, I don't want to set myself up for a huge disappointment.

Thank you to anyone who responds!

Hi Berr -- I feel like you answered your own question as to whether or not you should rush-- you said you would honestly feel bad if you don't try, so that being the case, I absolutely think you should!

You seem to realize that FSU's recruitment is competitive and that sophomore status could limit your options some. Approach recruitment with a very open mind and a willingness to give all chapters an opportunity. Some PNMs go into it with their eyes set on certain chapters and aren't interested in giving everyone a fair look. This is never a good idea for anyone, and especially risky for a non-freshman at a competitive school.

Make sure you get recommendations for every FSU chapter. Everyone going through FSU recruitment needs these "recs." Do a search here on Greek Chat -- there is plenty of into about what they are and how to get them.

That's great about your high GPA! As for extra-curricular, it's not too late to start adding some activities. I'm not sure what your summer plans are, but consider including some volunteer work. Service is a big part of Greek Life -- volunteer work will give you some experience AND give you something to talk about during recruitment. I realize the semester is coming into its final weeks, but see what is going on around campus and if anyone is looking for volunteers to pitch in. Maybe your dorm is having some end-of-year activities? Ask your R.A. if there is anything you can help with.

I know you will get lots of good advice and suggestions here! Best wishes to you!

*Paging FSUZeta*

Not overly familiar with the campus, but from what I gather:
I realize there are only like 6 weeks left in the semester, but you could still try and get involved on campus! Also adding things over the summer like volunteer work is always good. I'd highly suggest this even if you weren't going through recruitment. I strongly believe people should be involved on campus, social or otherwise.

Rushing as a sophomore will be a disadvantage. I believe we have another PNM who will be a sophomore going through. Instead of focusing on what you can't change (ie not being involved) focus on the positives and make connections. You may end up disappointed, but wouldn't it be a bigger disappointment if you never tried? In addition to getting involved (even just a little bit!), get recommendation letters. Info on these are found in the stickied threads in Sorority recruitment forum.

Also here is a story from a sophomore PNM at FSU: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=115417 You can see, she had a rough recruitment, but it did work out in the end. Notice what she did and how she made a difference in her different aspects. She changed things in just two months. Give everyone a chance, even if they aren't the most glamourous in recruitment.

ETA: I also believe AOPi is colonizing this Fall. Another opportunity if things don't work out with formal.

WCsweet,

I'm not acquainted with any alumnae, so getting recommendation letters isn't really an option...:(

It sounds like you've done a great job of working through some really challenging issues. The biggest thing sophomores have in their favor is knowing members in the houses already. I understand that you haven't exactly been a social butterfly this year but maybe you can take this opportunity to really try to meet some women. No stalking but authentic friendly communication and heartfelt questions can go a long way. Also, without vomiting out every problem you've ever had, you can approach a girl or two in your classes that hopefully you know at least a little and say you are interested in Greek life, you haven't been very social this year but you're really hoping to change that and any advice they can give would be appreciated.

Also, study groups can be a great way to get to know people in your classes. If you've gotten good grades in your classes there may be some girls who would love to pick your brain. But in any case, try to work on just saying hi, loud enough that you can be heard, to people you encounter. Those little encounters can really help your confidence too.

berr, do some reading here about recs. I bet you know more than you think! Plus, there are Alumnae NPC groups who can help.

Sorry I am late to the dance, but I have been having internet problems.

You have been given some great advice. You have pointed out areas where you might be lacking in comparison to other PNMs, and it has been suggested that you secure recommendations, to which you said you know no alumnae. As the ladies have suggested, you need to take care of those things that you can possibly change, and recommendations should be at the top of the list.

Find the thread that has all the suggestions on how to find recs. You can do this and you need to do this! Exhaust all possibilities. Not only will you gain some much needed recommendations, but you can also hone your conversation skills as you talk to people in your quest for recs.

As to your activities, perhaps it is not too late to join a club or organization. Look around for a club that is related to your major or involves one of your interests. Volunteer in some capacity on campus before school is out. If you are not working this summer, do volunteer. It will look good on your rush resume, as well as your resume when you are in the hunt for a job.

If you live on campus, surely some of your dorm neighbors joined sororities. Perhaps you can casually tell them that you are going to go thru rush in the fall and wondered if they could tell you a little about their experience. That might open the door for some tips on appropriate attire for rush, or a description of how the different parties are run, or the types of conversations your neighbor had with her rush hostess. Mentally prepare some questions to ask her to keep the conversation flowing. Not only will you get the scoop on FSU rush, but you will have an opportunity to practice those conversation skills and there is now a sorority member who knows that you will be rushing in the fall.

Your high school activities will no longer count-college is a new chapter of your life. Maximize those things that are in your plus column, change the things that you can change, and prepare yourself the best you can. You are going to need to put yourself out there, to perhaps get a little uncomfortable by approaching strangers for rush tips and recommendations, so you need to decide if sorority membership is worth the effort. I think it is!

This statment really gets some people on GC really, really exasperated. :mad:

Unless you live under a rock and know absolutely NO female college graduates, then I bet that you know sorority alumnae. You just don't realize it.

Instead of taking a defeatist attitude about recs, READ here about how to locate sorority women among your teachers, relatives, coaches, parents' friends, ladies at church, etc.

Seriously though. Oregon isn't the largest area of sorority enthusiasm and I thought I only knew one or two women who are members. I am still finding women I know (and have known for practically my entire life!) that are members. Sure some of the organizations that were on my campus would have been hard to find, but I could easily find an alumna that I had known.

Point of the story: Highly doubt someone who lives in the south doesn't know a single sorority alumna.

If you find one alumna she probably knows more.

Dear, going through recruitment at FSU without recs isn't an option. If you want to try to obtain a bid to a sorority, then you have to do your homework, and getting recs is a very large part of that homework. There are more threads about great places to get recs on Greek Chat than probably any one topic.

Get them, and good luck.

Agreeing with others that you likely DO know sorority women. You just don't know who they are!

For example, I belong to an NPHC sorority, so I wouldn't be able to help you personally, and you might think at first glance that I couldn't possibly be of any use in this particular quest.

HOWEVER! I have very close friends in Delta Gamma, Kappa Alpha Theta, Kappa Kappa Gamma, and Alpha Chi Omega. If I knew you and wanted to help you, I could make a few calls. (... and those 4 orgs are off the top of my head; I also know ladies who were Greek but I don't know offhand which organization.)

Now, I don't know you (...so please don't PM me asking me to help you!), but who DOES know you is your friends' parents, your parents' friends, your parents' coworkers and coworkers' wives, your church members, your neighbors, your school teachers, your ex-babysitters, your dance and piano teachers, and so forth. Among them are people like me who either know women who were in sororities, or who were in a sorority but you aren't aware of it. If you don't know them, you are about to GET to know them. Work your network.

Don't assume you don't know anyone who can help. Instead, assume that you know several people who can help; you just don't know who they are yet.

Thanks GammaGirl1908 for the perfect example the OP needed to see!

Here's another example. I asked a colleague to write a Pi Beta Phi recommendation for my daughter, which she happily did, using just her rec packet. After my daughter posted on Facebook that she had joined Pi Phi, the woman who was the advisor for a volunteer board she served on in high school "liked" her post and excitedly posted "Welcome to Pi Phi! I'm a Pi Phi, too!" This alum had written a glowing recommendation for a scholarship my daughter applied for, but we never realized she was a sorority member!

Is your mom by chance on Facebook? I have several friends who helped their daughters find recs via that. They just posted, "Hey friends -- any of you sorority alums? My daughter needs some recs..." You would not believe the offers to do recs that started rolling in! These moms had no idea they knew so many people with sorority affiliations.

AOII will be colonizing this fall which will give you another chance after formal recruitment is over to find a place in a sorority. Being a sophomore will not be an issue with a colony. Try to do something over the summer to add to your resume. Think of something that interests you and volunteer. It will get you ready for the philanthropic side of sorority membership. Having one thing on your résumé is better than nothing. ;) good luck.

BUT don't consider AOII more than a second chance. It is NOT an automatic in. I bet the turn out for AOII's colony will be huge, like in the hundreds. However, if you kind of blow it during rush, realize what you did and can make some quick adjustments, then AOII could work for you.

Best of luck. Now get to work and let us know how it's going!

Okay, so I've tried to look beyond who I directly know like guys have said.
I've just asked my aunt, who is a social butterfly and a college graduate (not a florida or southern school), so I'm hoping she knows some people.
I've started to look up alumna chapters in my hometown.
And I'm planning on asking my mom if she could ask some of her co-workers and facebook friends for me.
Now, if my aunt and mom end up knowing someone or someone who knows someone, how do you guys recommend I ask for a recommendation? I know I should not beg them for one and just assume that they will, but since any alumna found won't be women who knows me well or who I know well, how should I go about doing things? Is it strange to ask women you just met or are alumna usually willing to help you out??
Also, how do you guys suggest I approach the local alumna chapters. Of course I'll end up shooting them an email, but like I said, I don't want to come off the wrong way since I have no affiliation to these women.

There are quite a few topics on GreekChat on how to obtain recommendations. I suggest you do a search and read up on the subject.

When you find a sorority alumna, call them or email them. Just be polite and professional. State that you're going through sorority recruitment at a school that places an emphasis on sorority recommendations and you're seeking alumnae who may be willing to assist you by writing you a recommendation and/or connecting you with alumnae who can.

Read the thread linked in my signature. There's a rec section.

Especially in the south, these women will very possibly have written many many recs in the past. It's foreign to you but not to them. Do the reading here about what to do, be nice, send thank yous and follow up later to let them know how it went.

Excellent! I like your spirit and willingness to do what it takes!

My girls are FSU grads and I know for a fact that sophomores do get bids. However, just as others have said, it is work to get recs and to present yourself favorably to get a bid. Practice your conversational skills. It can be done! PM me if you like.

I don't think anyone has already mentioned this--FSU uses separate quotas for freshmen and upperclassmen with RFM. So every chapter takes a minimum number of upperclassmen. With that being the case, you actually have an advantage over any juniors who are going through, and possibly over any sophomores who had an unsuccessful recruitment the first time around, if a lot of chapters feel that they have already made up their mind about them.

No. That's not how uppperclassmen quotas work.

Every chapter can take a number of upperclassmen above the "regular" quota, IF THEY WISH. No sorority is *forced* to take upperclassmen.

I think you should definitely go through recruitment. I did and I was not successful, but then AOII re-colonized at my school and I signed up for their recruitment. Colony recruitment, in my opinion, is more competitive than Panhellenic formal recruitment, because there can be hundreds of women trying for just one house. However, do not let that intimidate you! The best thing is to be yourself, show up looking nice, and practice your conversation skills! This goes for formal rush and colony.

Honestly, the way you present yourself is extremely important. I learned a lot from my past experience and am now I proud colony member of AOII :)

Thanks for all of your replies.

I've decided that I'm definitely going to go through with recruitment because I feel that if I don't, I'll just regret it.
I've actually asked some questions to a girl who is in a sorority here and who rushed her sophomore year, so her answers have really helped a lot and put me at ease.
My main goals right now are just to maintain a good GPA and to get in contact with two of the alumnae chapters that I've found in my area.

Once I get in contact with those ladies, I'll let you guys know how it went!

Sorry- I meant to convey that it was the norm there, not that it was a requirement.