Engagement Ring Advice
 

My long-term boyfriend and I are feeling like we're close to getting officially engaged (after knowing for a while that that was the eventual plan!). I recently found out that each of my grandmothers left me an engagement ring and I'm feeling so blessed to be able to choose one of them to wear.

Neither grandmother would be offended if I didn't choose her ring. I'm hoping some ladies with more jewelry experience than I can give some input!

Choice 1 is an old family ring that was re-set sometime in the early 2000s. It goes at least 4 or 5 generations back and I love the history of it.

http://i460.photobucket.com/albums/q...psd9145d68.jpg

I think I would have it re-set something like this:

http://i460.photobucket.com/albums/q...s018011d5.jpeg

Choice 2 was bought in the 1970's for my other grandmother. It appears larger in the image because it has a white gold band around it, but it is actually a bit bigger than the central stone in the other ring.

http://i460.photobucket.com/albums/q...psc7fe8288.jpg

Again, I would have it re-set, probably either like this:

http://i460.photobucket.com/albums/q...s984a9691.jpeg

or like this:

http://i460.photobucket.com/albums/q...s6b3520ac.jpeg

I think they're both lovely and I'm having a really hard time choosing (I feel so spoiled even saying that...). Boyfriend wants whichever one I want. I do love the simplicity of the single stone (and it's so sparkly!) but I really connect with the history of the other one.

What your pure, unbiased opinion? ;)


Also - has anyone ever shipped jewelry like this? Is it a terrible idea? Everything I'm reading says to go with USPS registered mail but it still makes me nervous. Unfortunately I won't be able to travel to pick up either ring from my Mom for about another 5 months and we're hoping to get the ball rolling sooner, particularly since it will take time to have it appraised and re-set.

Have you tried any of the styles on? I had an idea of what I wanted, but when I actually began trying rings on, I changed my mind. What I liked visually did not look right on my hand.

Personally I'm drawn to the last one. I really like non-diamond rings or at least non-diamond side stones.

Honestly. Think about how your wedding ring will fit with the ring. That is a common unconsidered factor when choosing an engagement ring. Will you be able to buy a ring that fits against the engagement ring and doesn't have to be made a weird shape then soldered to the other ring so it doesn't look bizarre. When you don't buy a set, this gets tricky. It took me a while to find a wedding band, and I just have a Tiffany setting, but it has a really low setting. This may not make any difference to you, but when I started putting wedding bands next to my engagement ring, I flipped out! ;)

This. I don't even have a wedding ring, because a regular one wouldn't work with my marquis stone/diamonds on the sides setting, and I didn't want a weird soldered one mucking up the setting of the engagement ring. I love my ring, but it still bugs me that I don't have an actual wedding ring.

That being said, I like the resetting of the first ring, and the long history it has in your family.

Since you're doing a re-setting anyway, why not combine the stones from the two rings? A good jeweler should be able to advise and perform the work.

Would you consider making the 2 smaller stones in the first ring into earrings? or does that just totally ruin the family heirloom value?

I definitely agree that you have to be sure that you know that your wedding ring will work with whatever you decide to do for the engagement ring...

Lucky girl to have this choice!

A friend's daughter had two rings from grandmothers to choose from, and this is what she ended up doing. She took one ring and had the center and other larger stones re-fashioned into an updated but beautiful engagement ring.
She then took the stone from the other (it was a solitaire) and had it set as a diamond pendant. She not only wore it with her wedding gown, but wears it always. She felt that this was a way to use both rings and fashion them into jewelry that she would wear and not be put away in a jewelry box.

PGD-Grad, that idea was exactly what I was thinking when I mentioned earrings. If I had this choice, I would love to have a way to wear those heirlooms every day :)

What about using second ring to create the engagement ring, and then use the stones from the first one to create a beautiful wedding band? If you find the right jeweler, he/she could do something amazing. :)

I think the first option brings more bling, but they're both lovely settings. My original engagement ring was set to fit into a chevron of diamonds ring guard. Later on, I had a jeweler solder both of my 10-year and 20-year anniversary diamond rings in the same shape to make it one piece, so there are many options out there for you. Like summergphib said, talk to a reputable jeweler about the design you want.

I didn't have a wedding ring either, for the same reason. Makes me wonder if we had the same ring...lol. Definitely a late 80's/early 90's ring though.

I like the first option under the second ring, personally.

Exactly what I was thinking! I second this.

You may be right on the ring...lol.

The more I look at them, I agree with you, Dee. The very first setting is a bit "blinged" out. That's the current style, which I like, but as we know, styles change. You don't see marquis diamonds much anymore. But I do still like the idea of using the older stones in the ring and keeping that tradition going.

Congratulations! As to shipping, I would suggest FedEx over USPS one thousand times over. IF you do the shipping label online, you can track your package from the minute it is picked up by the FedEx delivery person to the end point. You can track it in transit, as to the last place it was handled. I have even talked to the very courteous depot supervisor when I was looking for a certain package and trying to determine when it might be delivered that day. You can also get e-mails when the item is picked up, if there is an exception, and when it is delivered. Info from USPS is not as available, and might be 24 hrs. delayed. From what I have seen, pricing is comparable between USPS and FedEx. Make sure you get the package insured.

Yes please.

And if that's just TOO much bling for you, maybe he can work a diamond into his band as well.

Personally, I like the styles of the second and third options best, but I really love the idea of taking the sidestones from the first ring to make a complementary wedding band and using the center stone from the second ring to make the engagement ring. Nowadays it's not uncommon to see these solitaire enhancer-type wedding bands that curve around the wedding band and fit it better.

Thank you SO much for all of this wonderful advice, ladies! I really appreciate it. I'm planning to go this weekend to try on some rings just to get a feel for different styles. :D

yup. Seem to be everywhere

How did ring shopping turn out?

Thanks for asking! I'm glad I went to try things on because I found that I much prefer a simpler, more delicate setting. I'm looking to do something like this with the solitaire diamond:

http://i460.photobucket.com/albums/q...s2caa2eb4.jpeg

Except - I want the band to be little sapphires instead of little diamonds (the halo would still be little diamonds). I haven't seen anything quite like that, but I have a jeweler who can do a custom setting for me.

I'll post a pic of the final product once I have it. It will probably be at least a month.

You should try the rings on your hand. If you cannot, then have your mom do it, or someone with similar hands and fingers as you. It's very hard to tell how a ring will look on your hand. Someone with long thin fingers is going to want a different style from someone with thicker fingers. Additionally, the color of your skin will make the ring look different. As a Japanese woman, diamonds that are even slightly yellow look even more yellow against my skin whereas darker skinned women tend to make yellowish diamonds look whiter.

Also, since some of those pictures are stock photos, there's no accounting for the diamonds cut, clarity, carats, and color. (and the elusive 5th C, 'certificates').
Based purely on the pictures, I like the third one. Single solitaires are my favorite.

On a different note: Are you an only child or are there other sisters/cousins in line for the other rings? If so, ignore this suggestion otherwise if you are the only one I would work with a jeweler to combine the rings. You can sell the metal back to the jeweler to offset the cost of having them reset into a ring combining stones from each ring. The stones that have matches can be made into earrings and the remaining stones can be set into a necklace or bracelet. I only ask because I'm in the same position as you, I have several wedding rings to chose from. I decided (with my grandmother's blessing) to remove the stones and have them set into my own band. The remaining stones are being turned into earrings, a necklace and a second right hand ring.

My final suggestion: I know you want to get the process started but my recommendation would be to WAIT until you can get the ring in person or someone you trust can courier it to you. The last thing you want is for it to get misplaced because you couldn't wait 5 months. Then you'll have all the rings in front of you and you can talk to a jeweler or gemologist that can tell you what they recommend. This ring will be for the rest of your life, what's 5 months?

That's what I'm getting! I like the little extra sparkle and I'm all about symmetry.

I second going and trying them on. I had one ring that I LOVED from all the pictures online, and one that I thought was "meh" but still nice. I went in to try them on and it was amazing how different I felt about them afterwards, I did a 180!

Update
 

We decided to go with the solitaire, and save the ring with side stones for another piece, or for a family member. We did decide to have it shipped USPS registered mail and it arrived safe after a scary week of waiting (with next to no updates on the online tracker!). We knew that is typical for USPS but it was still nervewracking.

We took it in to a local jeweler to discuss options. We did a lot of research and found one that is a third generation family jeweler and very highly recommended.

We ended up settling on a custom design utilizing the stone and the gold from the original ring. I was surprised at how reasonable it was price-wise - they do a lot of custom work like this. The jeweler had me look through and try on rings from their inventory to mix and match features I liked. We just got to see the wax on Friday and I was so happy with it! I couldn't stop grinning. Here's a pic:

http://i460.photobucket.com/albums/q...ps54270970.jpg

http://i460.photobucket.com/albums/q...psc9848bf5.jpg

Sorry for the bad quality - they're from my camera phone. :) The jeweler also said it will look more delicate in metal since the wax is always a bit bulky.

The ring will have my grandmother's center stone, a halo of pave-set diamonds, pave diamonds on the short pieces holding up the center stone and halo, then pave sapphires on the band. They are ordering some nice light, bright sapphires for the band to keep it from looking too dark. It will all be in white gold.

I am SO EXCITED. We've been keeping it pretty quiet and I can't wait to share the news with my family and friends (my parents, sister, and one or two close friends know we are "shopping"). Since I approved the wax my boyfriend has told me I'm done, though... I won't know when he has it or see the final product until the actual proposal. Of course I'm dying to see it, but I really like how we went about this. I know I'm going to get something I love (so my boyfriend doesn't have to be stressed about that!), and it will have sentimental value from using a family stone, but there will still be a big element of surprise.

I'll update again when the time comes! Thank you again to all of you for your advice and support! :D

After a long, long Spring... I'm finally engaged! He proposed on Saturday and I got to see my ring for the first time. Here are some pics:

http://i460.photobucket.com/albums/q...ps5eef129c.jpg

http://i460.photobucket.com/albums/q...ps4d345207.jpg

http://i460.photobucket.com/albums/q...ps3424d42d.jpg

I love how it came out. Thanks again for all of your advice! :)

I know I never posted on this thread but have been following it. What a wonderful piece for you! Congratulations to the future Mrs!!

Wow, littleowl33! It's stunning! Congratulations on your engagement.

Congratulations!!!!! Such a pretty ring!!

Thank you, everyone! :D