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-   -   Brothers have not texted me at all... What does this mean? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=131801)

preewee 01-18-2013 11:53 AM

Brothers have not texted me at all... What does this mean?
 
I signed up for rush at Lehigh. The first event was basically visiting fraternity tables and giving info, name phone number email etc. with the promise that we would be contacted about events and such. I gave info yo about 5 (there are 21). It's been four days and I haven't been texted once. I know it's not because the fraternities don't like me, I have not had enough interaction with them for them to have any opinion of me. GPA and other stuff like that isnt a problem either. People who know guys in the houses are being texted though. Is this typical of the rush process? That you only get contacted if you know somebody? Not that i care about this, but im not even looking into houses that are considered "top tier". I don't get it... What's the point of rush if you aren't contacted for events just because you're new to the whole fraternity scene...?

preewee 01-18-2013 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp (Post 2198572)
No, you don't know that.

I only started looking at Greek life recently, as in like a week or two ago. I have literally had not been to their parties or anything at all last semester. What could they possibly be judging? I dont know them and they don't know me. i thought the point of rush was to change that. At the party I went to last night I hit it off with the president and got an invite back for tomorrow. But I don't love that house. I would be very puzzled if them not liking me was the reason

thetalady 01-18-2013 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preewee (Post 2198574)
I only started looking at Greek life recently, as in like a week or two ago. I have literally had not been to their parties or anything at all last semester. What could they possibly be judging? I dont know them and they don't know me. i thought the point of rush was to change that. At the party I went to last night I hit it off with the president and got an invite back for tomorrow. But I don't love that house. I would be very puzzled if them not liking me was the reason

You didn't land on campus in the last few days. Don't you think you met fraternity members eveywhere you went last semester... classes, out at restaurants or clubs, in the dorm, etc? They know you.

LaneSig 01-18-2013 01:06 PM

Go to the chapter website or FB page or whatever you kids are using these days. Many chapters will post their rush schedule or the name of their rush chair. E-mail the rush chair ("Hi, I met your guys at the fraternity tables. I was really interested in Alpha Beta Chi. If you are having any open recruitment events, please let me know. I would like to attend and learn more about your members and organization.")

If you still don't hear back from them, I don't know what to tell you.

ETA:

I just re-read your 1st post. While I'm sure you really liked the 5 out of 21 you gave your name to, you might want to cast a wider net. Contact more groups.

ETA: Also, Lehigh is getting a colony of Phi Delta Theta this semester. Go to the Phi Delta Theta webpage and check it out. There might be a spot that asks for interested guys to send them a message. It's worth checking into. Almost anyone who was part of a colonization process will tell you that it is some work, but well worth it.

AnchorAlumna 01-18-2013 01:28 PM

They're not required to invite you to anything. And some fraternities may already know who they want to invite, and to pledge. This may be formal rush, but fraternity members have been meeting people all year and considering them for membership. Maybe not in a formal setting, but certainly informally.

You only chose 5 to be interested in? You need to broaden your interest range. As we tell the girls, keep an open mind about ALL the groups.

33girl 01-18-2013 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna (Post 2198579)
You only chose 5 to be interested in? You need to broaden your interest range. As well tell the girls, keep an open mind about ALL the groups.

This is it exactly. If you were visiting tables in an open environment, there may have also been judgements made about you by which tables you visited. Visiting more groups would alleviate that.

And yeah, trust me, at a school of under 5000 people, they DEFINITELY know who you are - either directly or secondhand. Again, visiting as many groups as possible and showing yourself in person would alleviate snap judgements.

preewee 01-18-2013 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna (Post 2198579)
They're not required to invite you to anything. And some fraternities may already know who they want to invite, and to pledge. This may be formal rush, but fraternity members have been meeting people all year and considering them for membership. Maybe not in a formal setting, but certainly informally.

You only chose 5 to be interested in? You need to broaden your interest range. As well tell the girls, keep an open mind about ALL the groups.

Fair enough. Doesn't this kind of screw over people who come in 2nd semester though? And I chose 5 because a number like that was recommended, basically bc you can't possibly see every one during the rush period. Ill definitely broaden my interest though

33girl 01-18-2013 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preewee (Post 2198584)
Fair enough. Doesn't this kind of screw over people who come in 2nd semester though?

Since NO ONE is allowed to rush before second semester of their freshman year, I'm assuming you mean you transferred in this semester. In that case, you should have been intelligent enough to realize the normal recommendations didn't apply to you.

adpiucf 01-18-2013 02:38 PM

They probably already know who they want. You should have signed up for all of them. Keep a clean profile, get involved on campus and try again next time. Make an effort to get to know the Greeks in your classes and in the organizations you join.

DubaiSis 01-18-2013 03:17 PM

Seek out the help of some guys on campus. Of course, LaneSig offers excellent advice and I'd definitely look into that. But I'd start asking around to guys you know, meet, encounter in class, etc. You probably made bad choices, like picking the 5 most selective fraternities on campus, who are probably only inviting the guys to parties who they already know they want. You can't jump in your way-back machine, so now's the time to start getting the word out in the traditional way, by actual verbal communication with flesh and bone people. See if you can't find an additional 5 fraternities to focus on based on guys you've met already.

Psi U MC Vito 01-18-2013 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf (Post 2198592)
They probably already know who they want. You should have signed up for all of them. Keep a clean profile, get involved on campus and try again next time. Make an effort to get to know the Greeks in your classes and in the organizations you join.

I'm not sure I agree with the bolded. I do think that not signing up for even a quarter of the fraternities might have been a mistake, but the mindset towards recruitment on both ends is far different then sorority recruitment.

peppermint23 01-18-2013 03:55 PM

I agree about casting a wider net. To be honest they may know you on a superficial level, but you're right, they don't really KNOW you. Which is why you have to put yourself out there and be more assertive and open. Try and get to know brothers on your campus and participate in their activities, if you can.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, to be honest, don't take it personally or assume anything yet. I also agree with getting involved on campus and meeting more people, brothers included, while keeping a clean profile.

preewee 01-18-2013 04:25 PM

hm... thanks for the advice everyone. It's just weird because I know for a fact 300 people are rushing total for 21 fraternities. Based off of those numbers there are a lot of spaces in houses. Obviously some get a lot more attention than others, but the ones I was looking at were considered to be more in the "middle" and "lower middle" tiers. Weird.

ree-Xi 01-18-2013 04:35 PM

I'm scratching my head because you don't seem to "get it." If they don't know you, and your only effort has been to sign your name to a list at a table on a particular day, don't you think that you should make some effort to talk to guys in classes, in the cafeteria, etc.? You haven't mentioned that you have done that.

As far as I know, fraternities don't have a "silence" period, and therefore, you should be as friendly as possible (without making people feel like you're only making friends because you want a bid). How did you choose these five organizations out of 21 if you don't know anyone?

Rush is about seeing if you're a good fit, but you need to give them something more to go on than a few seconds writing your name down. How to do that? As others have said, the old-fashioned way. Talk to people.

TSteven 01-18-2013 05:59 PM

I agree with Psi U MC Vito and LaneSig. The mindset of IFC recruitment is different and often it may be best to start with a smaller number of chapters to explore at first. But if you are not getting any replies (texts, invites, what have you) from these chapters, then you should look at additional chapters.

preewee 01-18-2013 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi (Post 2198605)
I'm scratching my head because you don't seem to "get it." If they don't know you, and your only effort has been to sign your name to a list at a table on a particular day, don't you think that you should make some effort to talk to guys in classes, in the cafeteria, etc.? You haven't mentioned that you have done that.

As far as I know, fraternities don't have a "silence" period, and therefore, you should be as friendly as possible (without making people feel like you're only making friends because you want a bid). How did you choose these five organizations out of 21 if you don't know anyone?

Rush is about seeing if you're a good fit, but you need to give them something more to go on than a few seconds writing your name down. How to do that? As others have said, the old-fashioned way. Talk to people.

I think I do understand it more now. Again, I barely knew anything about greek life, thanks for the advice. I talked to a few friends a while ago and I was told that rush was a great way to meet people and that you didn't necessarily have to know brothers very well. Basically that there were a lot of rush events and everyone was invited. Misunderstanding I guess..

XAntoftheSkyX 01-18-2013 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaneSig (Post 2198576)
Almost anyone who was part of a colonization process will tell you that it is some work, but well worth it.

This.

WCsweet<3 01-18-2013 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preewee (Post 2198650)
I think I do understand it more now. Again, I barely knew anything about greek life, thanks for the advice. I talked to a few friends a while ago and I was told that rush was a great way to meet people and that you didn't necessarily have to know brothers very well. Basically that there were a lot of rush events and everyone was invited. Misunderstanding I guess..

If your friends go to a different school, their rush may be structured differently. Fall recruitment is different than spring/winter recruitment. In fall there are a ton of new students and a lot of people start off with a clean slate. In winter/spring, the fraternity men have had an entire semester to get to know students through mutual friends, dorms, clubs, classes etc and they will be pre-chosen. Think about it, you meet a cool guy in a class that is an ABC. You hang out with him during the term, study groups, lunch, pick up basketball games. You get to know some of his friends through hanging out with him. Spring semester comes and he, and a few of his friends/brothers, already know you are cool and like you since they have been hanging out with you. He invites you to a few of the events at the fraternity house. See how things play out?

AGDee 01-19-2013 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preewee (Post 2198584)
Fair enough. Doesn't this kind of screw over people who come in 2nd semester though? And I chose 5 because a number like that was recommended, basically bc you can't possibly see every one during the rush period. Ill definitely broaden my interest though

People who come in 2nd semester aren't eligible to join a fraternity or sorority at Lehigh.

the University’s requirement includes completion of 12 Lehigh University credits and the maintenance of a 2.25 GPA for IFC fraternities

That's directly from their Quick Facts document on their website.
http://www.lehigh.edu/~indost/greek/...20Sessions.pdf

DubaiSis 01-19-2013 03:07 AM

I missed the part where the school was announced, but it did occur to me that he might not be eligible. Good catch AGDee, and now the OP can quit worrying about it and start working on making himself the most sought after guy on campus next fall or spring.

greekdee 01-19-2013 03:47 AM

Wow, there's your answer, preewee! Outstanding catch AGDee! And as DubaiSis said, now the OP can stop worrying about this and be working towards the next opportunity for recruitment. I do hope you're feeling MUCH better now, preewee. :)

AGDee 01-19-2013 11:06 AM

I used to work with our Lehigh chapter and believed that was the case. I just had to find verification that it was still true.

preewee hasn't been clear about whether he was a transfer or not. He's posted several threads and one of them mentioned Lehigh specifically.

AZTheta 01-19-2013 11:58 AM

OP writes this, and I bolded the sentence that indicates that OP was at Lehigh last semester:

Quote:

Originally Posted by preewee (Post 2198574)
I only started looking at Greek life recently, as in like a week or two ago. I have literally had not been to their parties or anything at all last semester. What could they possibly be judging? I dont know them and they don't know me. i thought the point of rush was to change that. At the party I went to last night I hit it off with the president and got an invite back for tomorrow. But I don't love that house. I would be very puzzled if them not liking me was the reason

thetalady posts this, which OP doesn't refute (in terms of not being at Lehigh last semester):

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetalady (Post 2198575)
You didn't land on campus in the last few days. Don't you think you met fraternity members eveywhere you went last semester... classes, out at restaurants or clubs, in the dorm, etc? They know you.

Then OP writes this, which introduces another topic entirely, but doesn't state that he came in 2nd semester, he's just asking about other people. And he apparently wasn't aware that Lehigh doesn't permit people to register for rush unless they have met certain unit/GPA requirements:

Quote:

Originally Posted by preewee (Post 2198584)
Fair enough. Doesn't this kind of screw over people who come in 2nd semester though? And I chose 5 because a number like that was recommended, basically bc you can't possibly see every one during the rush period. Ill definitely broaden my interest though

OK? It seems to me that there is an increase in people coming here who don't write in enough detail to give ALL the necessary facts of a situation, and the rest of us either have to guess or guess incorrectly, and things go in the wrong direction. Then there are those who come here and post way too much information, which also leads to mayhem.

Where the hell is drolefille? Wasn't it drole who'd disect posts and make sense of them?

Bottom line: OP, if you went to Lehigh last semester, that's something to consider with regard to your lack of invitations, and people have given you other considerations as well. As for people who come in second semester, it is what it is; it's the Greek Life rules there, and it doesn't have anything to do with your situation.

33girl 01-19-2013 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preewee (Post 2198601)
hm... thanks for the advice everyone. It's just weird because I know for a fact 300 people are rushing total for 21 fraternities. Based off of those numbers there are a lot of spaces in houses.

Fraternities don't have a total or quota or set amount of "spaces" they have to fill like sororities do, unless they are told to by their national organization (or possibly by their housing corporation that they need to fill the damn house). If a fraternity met all 300 guys who went through rush, thought they were all douchebags, and decided not to bid any of them, that would not be out of the question.

SydneyK 01-19-2013 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzTheta (Post 2198716)
Where the hell is drolefille? Wasn't it drole who'd disect posts and make sense of them?

Yes it was. Her translationatory posts were brilliant.


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