Cut by 9/10 sororities: Should I quit while I'm still ahead?
 

I am at a competitive school where about 50% of the women here are Greek. Originally, I had no idea I thought I wanted to be in a sorority, but after registering for recruitment, I became really drawn into the system for a variety of reasons. However, as I was trying to get adjusted to school and was frequently sick, I wasn't really able to attend events and get to know any of the members. I also didn't get around to asking for recs, which in hindsight, I probably should have done.

Yesterday, display round came and went. I thought I did pretty well, but I was considering that I was going go get released immediately. I dismissed it as me worrying excessively. However, today I saw my schedule and saw that I was invited back to only one sorority.

I'm not going to lie and say that I wasn't upset. Even though I never intended to get into the "top" sororities, I think it was pretty devestating seeing how everyone else had cut me too. However, I guess this stuff happens and there's no point in asking why since I'm never going to find out. Also, although it wasn't my #1 choice, I did genuinely like the sorority, and I would be glad if they asked me back.

Still, I'm wondering if it's time to cut my losses. Based on what I saw today, I think I'm very high at risk from being cut from this last sorority, and even if I make it to pref night, I feel like my chances of receiving a bid would be pretty slim. I'm thinking it might be better to go back during fall rush more prepared and with recs in hand.

What are you guys's thoughts on this?

You already said you were at a very competitive school. Apparently someone liked you--right? I think you should stick it out (or you'll never know) because it really only takes one bid. Who cares about 9 other sororities letting you go, this one that has invited you back liked something about you. You can do it. I'm sure there would be tons of girls who would love to be in your shoes (with that one sorority). Good luck and please come back and tell us what happened.

The question to ask yourself is "Would I rather not be Greek AT ALL than be in this one chapter?"

If you're okay with going through again and potentially getting the same result or not getting a bid AT ALL, then by all means, withdraw and try again next year.

I don't mean to be negative, just want to be honest about what you'd potentially be facing and that you may not get a better result.

Stay in. If you're where I think you are, there are no bad sororities. It only takes one.

Is it ok to reveal where I am?

This is different from what we usually see, because usually PNM's are like "I have one chapter and don't like it". This OP is more like "I have one chapter and I'm worried they will cut me too". OP, stick it out. The way the system is set up at the vast majority of schools, it's very likely that you will receive a bid if you stick with it. Do that.

We usually advise women not to do so until they have a bid in hand.

If she's where I think she is, she will get a bid if she makes it to pref.

I think there's a very good chance I know where you go because I go there too. Trust me, the cuts are steep but it's not a lie to say that every sorority here is amazing. It only takes one so stick it out as long as you can. Fall recruitment is a. More competitive and b. only a small handful (like 2-3) houses actually take girls in the fall. Best of luck!

I think I know where she is too. Stick it out, Fishspeakers. Pretend the other 9 don't exist. Put your best foot forward. Best of luck! :)

You guessed right.

Thanks for the info on fall rush. I was trying to find info about it, but I couldn't find anything online.

I believe I know where you are, too. Please stay with it. Many amazing PNMs have found themselves with "only one" -- but that's all it takes! As DeltaBetaBaby said, we often see PNMs in this situation who AREN'T happy with the sorority they have left. You do like this group, so I agree with the others here that you should stick with the process. I really wish you all the best!

So sorry about the heavy cuts, but I wish you the best of luck and do hope you will stick it out. We are pulling for you! Let us know your outcome!

Thanks for all of the replies! I think I will continue going (I have only one party anyways :P) and see what happens.

I think I'm not so sad about being cut by so many houses, but I was rejected by the one I really liked. But I guess I didn't know any of them that well, so it wasn't really based on much.

Right now I haven't heard anything from my Gamma Chi, so I think I am safe for now. I am glad that chapter decided to take a chance with me.

Fishspeakers,
I know that everyone says it, but it really only takes one. My daughter recently went through recruitment and had only one house to attend for preference. She wanted to drop out. Her Rho Gamma convinced her to stay in and she absolutely loves her house and can not think of herself anywhere else. I know you are not at pref yet, but keep a stiff upper lip. As I said to my daughter, "Forget the others. These girls saw something in you which they liked." Good luck tonight, and please let us know what happens.

Good luck, and please keep us posted! It is hard to get cut, but you really seem to have the right attitude!

I'm glad you are able to see this. Smart woman. ;)

My next round isn't until Friday, so I will try to concentrate on being back at school instead.

On last Friday night, before the cuts, I said I would be happy at any sorority. I don't want this to change based on my situation.

So often when I read the recruitement stories, I notice that when the poster recaps how she ranked her choices after each round, there is a dramatic difference from one round to the next -- and it is often based on her conversations with just one or two girls there that day. Chapter number one falls to number five and chapter number seven moves up to number two, etc. So much depends on the chance/luck of who you got paired with at each party, but there are 50 - 300 other girls in that chapter that you didn't talk to. Although there are lots of cases where the sorority knows the rushee (and vice versa) long before rush actually begins, many rushees don't know a soul in the sorority before attending the parties. I've always thought that "rush" was an odd way to pick sorority sisters since you may make a lifetime committment based on a couple of hours of conversation. But, in any chapter of 50 - 300 girls, there will definitely be many with whom you could become very close, even if the sorority was not among your favorites earlier in the week.

I just saw a text from my Gamma Chi saying she wanted to talk. Now I'm fearing the worst. :(

I think more than anything, I fear explaining to my mom why our shopping was for nothing. Even though she was really neutral about me rushing, I think she will freak out way more than me.

Don't worry about what your mom will say. Clothes can be worn again and are an investment. Good luck with your Gamma Chi. I hope it's not what you think.

I hope all is well with you.

Good luck with your Gamma Chi! Keep us posted!

Praying for you, fp. You sound like a fine young lady. Keep your chin up.

Sometimes I think we moms do take things harder than our children do -- it is so difficult to see them hurt or disappointed because we just want them to have positive experiences. There is an old expression -- "A mother is only as happy as her saddest child." Boy, is that true!

I think your mom would be more concerned about you instead of the clothes, so don't stress over that...and hopefully the text does not mean what you fear it does. You sound like a really great young woman and I hope this works out for you. Please keep us posted.

Thanks for the encouragement! I will be calling my Gamma Chi soon.

hoping for smooth sailing for you, fishspeakers!

So true. Wish the young ladies saw the big picture instead of just focusing on "THE ONE". But that's part of growing up I guess.

Turns out I got cut after all. :(

But I don't regret signing up for recruitment at all. It has been a informative experience!

Thank you guys so much for your support. Even though it's just a message board, your words have meant a lot to me.

I think I will be on Greek Chat later this year for more advice on what I should do next. Alas, school has started again and I have more homework to do.

I'm really sorry to hear this fishspeakers. If you are where I think you are, then recs were probably necessary. Don't be afraid to put your name in with the greek life office in case any groups don't make quota.

I am really, really sorry to hear that. We were all hoping for you. Keep your head up and get involved at school in other ways.

I'm glad you had an informative experience. I'm so sorry it didn't end up the way you hoped. Good luck with school. I hope you find some ways to become involved on campus. You go to an amazing school.

Aw, I am so sorry to hear this. :( I am not 100 percent sure which school you're at, but if you're where I think you are, not having recs is probably what got you. The school I think you're at is one that Greek Chat identifies as one where recs are mandatory. Also, when someone experiences deep cuts early on, missing recs is often the culprit and nothing personal against the PNM, though I know it may feel that way right now.

If you decide to go through recruitment at another time, get two recs for every chapter. Keep your grades up and find some ways to get involved on campus. All the best to you!

Fishspeakers, I hope you will keep in touch with the women you know in the various chapters as well as keeping you grades top notch. If you decide to go through recruitment again, both of these could make a big difference. Also, make sure you volunteer on campus with some other organizations, and seek leadership positions there. Even if you never go through recruitment again, these things will help you in the future.

I'm so sorry, fs, but proud of your great attitude.

Thank you guys! I would say that in my 18 years of living, you guys have been the absolute most supportive people I've met on the internet, and that says a lot.

I'm glad to go to a school that offers so many opportunities both in the Greek system and outside as well. I want to focus at what I have in hand right now. I will also be talking more with my Gamma Chi soon about what I want to do in the future in regards to Greek life.

*wishes there was a LIKE button*

Random question:

I was unable to take my exams last year for three of my classes and had "incomplete" status in them. I did get my grade back for one of my classes, and it was pretty good. I know no one can be sure, but do you think it's likely this could've played a role in recruitment?

Remind us what year you are FS? If incompletes count against your cume GPA, then it's very possible.

Probably so.